JPMorgan started announcing bonuses yesterday (though some were delayed ’til later today) and, according to one Dimonette, there are “lots of unhappy people.”
As a data point, I’m a 3rd year Associate (Sale and Trading) and total incentive award was $160k with 25% in stock. Salary bump to $140k. Heard numbers at Morgan were supposed to be much better.
better than RBS
Jamie makes his pockets full and the staff watches into the void. always the same with him
Only 25% in stock? Congrats
@2 you clearly have no clue what you're talking about
@3 right?
oh boo friggin woo
ditto @3 and @5, playing a very small violin
@5, agreed. This fool doesnt realize the fact that their is 10% unemployment, hes one of the lucky ones. This is why America hates Wall St.
I'd hit it.
i would dancing if i had those numbers
ubs sucks!
So no Guden Morgen today.
@7 – Come back next week when Goldman reports – more efficient use of your time (2 birds and all that). For now, bugger off to huffingtonpost.
@11 seconded
I mean, I've seen better, but I don't think this is cause for unhappiness.
Anyone have 35th year UAW pension numbers for 2010?
I've heard MS will be on par with this, at best.
25% in stock? color me jealous.
-LB
What does the inability of 10% of Americans to find a job have to do with the compensation of those who can and do make money? Are Americans who have shirked responsibility their entire lives going to continue doing so into their adulthood? Obviously, the answer is yes. The reply is "Tough s***, should have paid attention in math class."
Wow
300grand a year and complaining. I bet some of his ex-friends are working 10$ an hour now.
10*40
=400$
Get real.
@11, bugger off?? Are you one of the Canary Wharf homeless? If so you need 300K just to fix your teeth
@19 pretty sure 11 is a banker, in London, who'd like the populist prick to GTFO. and he's not the only.
Any other data points? How about associates in M&A? Have we heard anything from other firms?
@21 what have *you* heard?
@21 Hearing numbers at GS will be much worse.
no just fucking with you, obviously.
-LB
S&T is always lower, heard numbers that were closer to $450 total comp for M&A/coverage for third years
@17 you are a jerkoff. pay attention in math class? The idiots who bundled all this garbage were probably some of the best math minda around. One thing has nothing to do with the other. Step 1 grab shoulders, step 2 gently remove head from your arse. Have a nice day.
I got an award with my bonus…oh sorry, it is a glass dildo..not an award and it says go fuck myself.
First full-year JPM Associate incentive comp range:
$85k (10% stock) minimum
$205k (25% stock) maximum
Bess: Any idea on starting numbers for 2010 Insurgents?
@27 – does that include S&T or are those just IB numbers
@21
I heard UBS 3rd year associates get a punch in the face from sham-wow guy.
Has anyone heard from MS on bonus front??
@18 – Why did you multiply $10/hr by 40 hrs to figure out annual income? Unless you work for a union, in what industry is that the average YEARLY hours worked?
Ps:@19 – I get full dental, so thankfully my genetic defects are taken care of.
-Formerly 11
Those are just IB numbers…
dumb question but does third year associate mean 6 years out of school (3 years analyst, 3 years associate)?
Any idea on 2nd year Pirate #s?
Shukran,
Sugule Ali
@35 in some cases, though he might've gone to b-school, and be older.
Anyone have color on first year homeless bonus numbers? Thx.
@39 Pigeon droppings, mainly.
@11 – It is Guten Morgen, not Guden Morgen.
And, you bunch of wussies. Go work for yourselves if you cannot appreciate the situation you are in. Sheesh.
So, no Guten Morgen for #11. Will there be a Guten Nacht? Or even a happy ending?
Try Chinatown.
Not really much else more than that one, too.
@41 "wussies"? "sheesh"? when did Richie Cunningham start reading Dealbreaker?
@17 ≠ Rawls
Hello. As one that used to be in your position, i advise throwing off the leash. So, you get 200k-300k bonus at the end of the year. you work another year maybe for a bit more. in the meantime, you live in an 800 sq ft apt with dubious "luxuries" (exposed brick? poured concrete counter? man who stands at door? ). I said enough is enough. Still in the business, but live well outside of the manhattan gravitational force in a beautiful suburb where $700k buys me 4,000 square feet and an acre or two, and i can breathe fresh air on a summer night.
@42 The message is: Gude Laune, Feierei beim Guden Morgen
@39
You dont want to know.
-LD
46=Ralph Waldo Emerson
50 = ….?
@ 49,
No, i am not Ralph Waldo Emerson. That was really inappropriate.
-46
That's it? That's all we got? One disappointing data point from a third year associate? WTF HoD?
As a data point I have a 9 inch dick
@53 maybe you should chill the fuck out and see what else comes in, considering it's not yet 11?
Wake up, will ya pal? If you're not inside, you're outside, OK? And I'm not talking a $400,000 a year working Wall Street stiff flying first class and being comfortable, I'm talking about liquid. Rich enough to have your own jet. Rich enough not to waste time. Fifty, a hundred million dollars buddy. A player, or nothing. Now you had what it took to get into my office; The real question is whether you got what it takes to stay.
@53 that's all YOU get. the preferred readers just got an email from bess with a bunch of other info.
@54 you must be really disappointed.
any numbers for 10th year Bear Stearns MDs with 36DDs?
@56 – What the hell is a Chuck Krug?
46= Stuart Smalley
@59-
Here's a blank check. And some dairy queen.
-WB
@41/42:
Its neither. Its guten Morgen. Und gute Nacht. Und guten Tag. Only the nouns are capitalized.
Jeez, aren't there any Deutsche guys around that got shipped in from Deutschland?
Morgan Stanley is a fucking fiasco. Majority of people I've conferred with agree with me, we're quitting as soon as the checks clear.
@64 – could you quantify the fiasco please? What kind of bonus levels we talking about here?
sale and trading? perhaps if you made multiple sales you might get paid a bit more
@66 I'd also like to know.
-lebanese lothario
@67 you clearly have no clue what you're talking about.
Bonuses at Dubai International Capital are out. Pretty much consisted of the Sheikh stepping out of his Merc G class and mooning us.
Oh, and we also got camel milk chocolate.
What are the numbers on 1st year heads of state?
BHO
64/65 you aren't quittin shit. Cut the tough talk, and get that ass back to work.
any color on crazy ex-wife numbers? hoping for 300 mill.
-ex mrs. sac
This is going to really piss off my coke dealer.
-3rd year associate
@63: at 60 Wall St they say Gude statt Gute, da Frankforter slang.
@PB/ 63 Ich bin hier, aber ich bin nicht ein Mann. Warum du bittest?
@63. Sieg Heil!
14 & 44 FTW!
76 = Disgusting Goyim
I can explain everything.
no dinner before i got f'd
Is Morgan Stanley announcing today?
J.P. Morgan is set to enter exclusive talks to acquire RBS Sempra Commodities
@84 thanks, none of us saw the headline on bberg, wsj, nyt, marketwatch.
has anyone from sales trading at MS got their bonus number?
@86- uh, they were delivered discretely yesterday. if you didnt get one, you didnt get one.
@79 that's Shiksa Goddess to you, drecksau
@87- uh, it's "discreet" you raging moron.
Not 86
@87, Thanks for the info. I am not currently with MS…
Yes, well, Bess is no longer an insurgent. She ceased to be one no later than when that hack decided she was. Bess is now a brand. Cue Jeff Zucker.
@89 You still unemployed?
@89- uh, lemme guess. little man syndrome?
Are the Raymond James numbers out yet?
Tranal_yst
@91 she was awesome before the article and continues to be. agreed the dude who wrote the article is an idiot though, who clearly's never read db (which would explain why he attributed john carney's brush with death as bess's "big break").
@89
Since they were handed out in private, one by one, they were both Discreet AND discrete…
@96 Well done.
You're all expendable
2nd year assoc M&A – $360000 o/w 25% stock
@99
WTF, All i got was some fried chicken
@99
1st year analyst – $5 million all-cash
any guidance on 2nd year vulcan numbers?
- obviously a quant
@99 and @101
Doesn't beat the silver dildo and cockring set engraved with Dimon's portrait that I got
J Gundlach
@100
I got goat cheese profiteroles and an arugula Caesar salad. Then as an entrée I had a swordfish meatloaf with onion marmalade and a rare-roasted partridge breast in raspberry coulis with a sorrel timbale.
@99 that looks more like 3rd year high
pretty damn good
Any BB's recruit from Stern these days?
@47 shoot the glass.
@21
I heard UBS 3rd year associates get a punch in the face from sham-wow guy.
As a data point I have a 9 inch dick
@107. Is Stern part of DeVry?
Morgan Stanley is a fucking fiasco. Majority of people I’ve conferred with agree with me, we’re quitting as soon as the checks clear.
一群贪得无厌的傻逼
Reading all these comments make me sick. What about all the support people who got total sc**wed. Working 24/7 and get some crappy 3% raise all the while bosses are telling you that you should be happy to still have a job. Record profits and none trickling down to the people who do the real work. When the market changes and it will, people will run for the door.
no dinner before i got f’d
In the early days at DB ('95 to 98 ish) they cut hard checks for bonus but for some crazy reason, the max check they could cut was for $100K so you'd see people walking out of comp meetings with a stack of envelopes….. some were thicker, some were very thick… it was kind of funny and pathetic at the same time but made comp voyeurism easier..
More on JPM-RBS/Sempra deal:
http://www.reuters.com/article/idUSLDE60J0SG20100...
True to the support folks – they toiled whole year with no raises last year – business users screaming at their heads and the support troubleshooting all idiot problems : and when the pay time comes, zilch – zuck for all labor.
All money went to the "Managers" and the business folks – and the ****ing managers say – hey you have got one of the best !! 3% hike for 2008-2009 combined – does that cover the inflation ???
Had Senate passed that 99% tax on bonuses !!
一群贪得无厌的傻逼
#112, go ahead and leave. You won't be missed.
@ 116, Ditto. @ 112. You're either booking trades or writing code-sadly a job that will be replaced by your departure or outsourced. Don't expect to make it rain when you're in support.
@ 116, Ditto. @ 112. You’re either booking trades or writing code-sadly a job that will be replaced by your departure or outsourced. Don’t expect to make it rain when you’re in support.
@ 116, Ditto. @ 112. You’re either booking trades or writing code-sadly a job that will be replaced by your departure or outsourced. Don’t expect to make it rain when you’re in support.
Docuhe McDouche 117-119 felt the need to 3x his brilliant insights.