What’s this joyous news you hear? I’ll tell you what– Lenny Dykstra’s house is back on the market! It’s the same one– Wayne Gretzky’s old place– that Nails tried to sell back in June 2008 for $24,950,000, hoping for a 33% return (LD bought the Thousand Oaks manse for $18.5 million on in August 2007), only this time, it comes with so much more. Like dog feces. Piss on the walls. Empty beer bottles. Trash. Other “unmentionables.”
The house is being sold on an “as is – where as” basis, an important consideration for potential buyers because the former Philadelphia Phillies and New York Mets outfielder left the house trashed after he lost control of his bankruptcy case.
So the $14.9 million you’ll have to fork over is gonna get you a lot (garbage + history) though one thing potential buyer’s should note is that the place comes sans toilets, which, you may have heard, LD ripped out before he left. Still think it’s worth it. Make an offer.
$1 bob
Who needs toilets when you've got all that floorspace?
Bess can we have some sort of contest defining exactly what the "greek Bailout" will entail?
- Puntastic poster
my thoughts exactly.
-LD
@3 no. this is about my and my shit. stay focused.
-LD
@3 – Jeff Feagles?
well, to be fair Len, "Greek" has plenty to do with shit, from what I hear…
OK, if you spot me two points on the interest I'll take this off your hands.
Dont mind the beer bottles I'll take care of those.
Spuds Mac Kenzie
Very clever @3. I see what you did there and appreciate it.
Bess,
You fucking idiot. There is no such thing as a public Jets. They're a franchise, tucked beneath the umbrella of their parent company, the National Football League (NFL). The NFL, too, is a private company, therein making your tag, "Private Jets," redundant.
-LEH Quant
Google's street maps people need to break into this thing and give us a panoramic.
@10 I see what you did there and it was stupid.
12 didn't make it to BarCap, I see.
@10 actually did a good job of increasing the leverage of his joke with a snide tone indicative of certain quants who thought they were too good to fail. The signature was the punchline and caught a typical reader off guard thus exponentially adding "punch" to the line.
~The Joke Briefer
@14 go back to work
one MILLION dollars…
-Doc Evil
@14: a real LEH quant would have used at least 40X more leverage
-DF
BYO Toilets sounds like a porn flick
Maybe he could use some of his "ashtray money" to put in a gold plated crapper.
Is there a champagne room in the house? If so, is sex allowed in it?
-Affirmative Action supporter