So, I don’t have an official word from GS on this yet but needless to say, two and two have been put together. First, you have Goldman Sachs, which has had a pretty rough go of it lately vis-a–vis people hating their guts, which would explain the apologizing, the kitten adoption program, the banning of parties, the touching of trash, and the enforced charity. Obviously, they could use some good press, real bad. Then, you have a bunch of MBA students, looking for summer internships. The competition is fierce and everyone could use a leg up. So what’s the harm in, you know, maybe just telling some reporters how great they, non-Goldman employees but future business leaders of America, think GS is? The answer is there’s no harm at all. No money passes hands, no actual BJs are given out, and everyone goes home happy. You scratch Lloyd’s back, he’ll scratch yours. I bet we could round up a couple willing if we tried. Such as, say:
* Nicole Zenel:The MIT Sloan student (pictured) has “read the negative stories about Goldman Sachs’ role in the financial crisis, its subsequent record profits and its decision to set aside $16.7 billion for pay and bonuses after receiving $10 billion from the U.S. Treasury.” Guess what though? Girlfriend doesn’t give a rat’s ass, which is why she still applied for a summer internship at 85 Broad., “a solid firm that has a track record of success.”
Or how about:
* Jeremy Dent: He too wants a piece of LB’s shit, and in exchange is willing to tell Bloomberg: “They’ve been able to avoid the big blowups other banks have had.” Dent is scheduled to interview for a summer internship today though, and would like a little extra assurance things are going to go over in his favor. So:
Goldman Sachs’s culture and the opportunity to work with “the smartest people on Wall Street” make the company attractive to Dent, who attended about six events with Goldman Sachs recruiters and employees during his first semester at Stern.
“At the end of the day, clicking with the people you work with is critical,” Dent said. “You’re working to three in the morning, and you have to like the people who sit next to you. The quality of people at Goldman really is stellar.”
I can go on, and will:
*Cecilia Carriquiry: The Harvard B-school student would like to work in mergers and acquisitions and so: “You read stories about the bonuses and the general public’s perception is not very positive,” Carriquiry said. “But they do a lot of good work that doesn’t get a lot of attention.”
Obviously, there’s nothing wrong with this, and the whole thing is kind of genius. I just want you to know, LB, that I’m on to you (and for the right price would be willing to do something similar, in addition to accept back payment for putting the Golden Scrot on the map).
Goldman Sachs Still Shines for MBAs Who Ignore ‘Hype’ [Bloomberg]
GS interns have more "Dents" than Snow White's hymen.
I once dated a GS trader chick – she was all tough in public and privately just wanted to be held. Weird part was that her girlfriends would always point out that when things were over with her, they wanted to date too.
Sell me this pen.
-Goldman Interview Specialist
"But they do a lot of good work that doesn’t get a lot of attention."
Deserves an award for unintended sarcastic statement of the year.
@2 "she was all tough in public and privately just wanted to be held."
sounds like someone we all know..
Notice that they have not chosen to open internships up to CFAs.
-Columbia MBA alum
But do any of them have a Negro dialect?
@6 they still have the outrageous sandwich shop in Uris?
-Hungry guy living in the past
@6: Providing jobs to CFAs is the true definition of "Doing God's Work"
-MBA not named Dent
I know several history majors who didn't get internship offers and those guys are really bright.
~AIG Quant
@6 Notice how no CFAs were dumb enough to speak on record to Bloomberg
I want an internship at God's Firm so that I can make a shit-load of cash and I don't care who I fuck over in the process.
Hi, I'm studying to be a CFA. When are the GS recruiting events at my local testing center?
Pretty sure there's only one Dent…
"All things being equal, why do some managing directors frequently request more batteries and a private, off site offices than others?"
~GS Interview Specialist
re: nicole– I'd hit it.
Mark my words, Brian Williams is a pussy and is going to get what is coming to him.
From her mug, Nicole might have been the star of Back Door Sluts 9.
Internships are for pussies.
@14 -tomorrow at 3am, at the university of phoenix online
she's got that minnie driver look going on. not bad
@ 9,
I graduated in '05. The food wasn't so terrific. Examine your motives.
-6
@22 looks nothing like MD, except for the jaw
Bess – edit, it's Nicole Zenel, not Nicole Dent
@2 What she really wanted was to be privately held, not held in private.
Last year's SA class on Goldman's Risk Arbitrage desk faced a horrific hazing test by being forced to drink cups of coffee brewed with water scooped from the toilets at Port Authority.
After successfully wretching down a piping hot cup of PA swill, one SA (Andrew T) was asked for his thoughts to which he replied, "slightly worse than Ping Jiang urine, slightly better than Goldman's house coffee."
@18 – McGwire, stop posting on a financial blog. You won't find your dealer here.
Well…maybe you will, but this is no place to air your grievances.
She looks like a match made in heaven for the forehead slapper.
- Privates Holder
@23 I used to travel to Uris all the way from the Village just for the sandwiches. It made me feel warm inside.
Stern alum.
MBA = Susan Boyle's Tits
CFA = Lil "Making it Rain on these b*tches" Wayne
She looks like a noted-hooker-fucker fucker I once fucked.
– Noted Hooker Fucker
what'd they take that picture at a club/lounge, or does Bbg regularly use purple high key lighting to make their photo subjects seem more, er, "professional"?
looks like she is in mounting position for the reverse cowgirl
Mark my words, everyone on this board is going to be beaten to a pulp.
Mark McG
Mark McGuire is a friend-a-mine.
-cg
Who's Mark McGuire?
- Mark McGwire
the smartest people on wall street.
heh.
they purposely don't have the smartest people.
they do have the most deluded though
You want a cut throat?
I fucking beat all three. Currently 15, intern at MS this summer, exactly 0 family contacts.
If anyone else of similar plans reads this, don’t even fucking try. you don’t mess with me unless you want CDOs shoved up your ass in your sleep.
@3
Okay. Stay calm. Now I want you to perform the following song whilst closing your eyes : ‘All I want for Christmas is you (Lloyd)’. That’s right. Now write down the lyrics using this pen, which is not only stuffed with explosives but completely insured by AIG. Now stand up. You’re real tired, aren’t you? Why don’t you give me your wallet so you’re less weighed down by unnecessary cash… (scram).
(Disclaimer: this is for entertainment only. GS interviewers prefer honest malleable graduates than Madoff IIs.)
fuck. why did that just come up twice? besssss you need to really sort this out. :(
Also…
what do you guys think I should wear this summer to morgan Stanley as an intern? I’m a girl. I was going to go with white shirt, black skirt and blazer combo… do people wear heels on Wall st? How short can my skirt be? What should I do if I swear accidentally –laugh or act horrified? And what is James Gorman like in real life?
-39
"fuck. why did that just come up twice?"
because you're a double posting idiot. also, terrible comment. stop trying to be funny. you've failed.
we welcome you. shut up 42. how the hell did you get placement???
I’m honored with your praise//. @ Anal_yst they probably put the purple there to subtly draw attention. you notice it but it doesn’t register with the brain = more page views. happens all the time.
@43 aw thanks. I remember thinking, ' they are either overworked or drunk.' but what the hell. morgan stanley rocks.
You want a cut throat?
I fucking beat all three. Currently 15, intern at MS this summer, exactly 0 family contacts.
If anyone else of similar plans reads this, don’t even fucking try. you don’t mess with me unless you want CDOs shoved up your ass in your sleep.
@3
Okay. Stay calm. Now I want you to perform the following song whilst closing your eyes : ‘All I want for Christmas is you (Lloyd)’. That’s right. Now write down the lyrics using this pen, which is not only stuffed with explosives but completely insured by AIG. Now stand up. You’re real tired, aren’t you? Why don’t you give me your wallet so you’re less weighed down by unnecessary cash… (scram).
(Disclaimer: this is for entertainment only. GS interviewers prefer honest malleable graduates than Madoff IIs.)
LOL new associates got 95k base??? bahahahaha