The boy toy CEO says enough is enough. Get a hobby, and get off his people’s asses. I think we can do this for him, right? Don’t be a jerk, Vikram.
“We do not have change-of-control agreements, special executive retirement plans, golden parachutes, special severance packages or merger bonuses,” Dimon told a JP Morgan healthcare conference, adding that many of company’s employees are in client-facing jobs and work hard with small and mid-size businesses.
“I am a little tired of the constant vilification of these people,” he said.
Jamie Dimon, I am going to kick you ass.
Brian Williams
i agree but fuck the GS guys. they dont deserve bonuses. AIG profit bucks is not the same as bailout bucks.
JD is the man, everybody bow to the man. LB cant hold his jock that little worm
I'd love to see the bonus # if you backed out from it all wire transfers received from AIG.
Why does my bartender know show much about finance stuff?
It's not "vilification" when it's true.
JD can basically say whatever he wants due to the fact that everyone in Washington is on his jock to work on the hill and he is pretty universally known to be the top dog. hes basically saying suck on my prestige…..
the only thing more annoying then Joe Biden. is Joe Biden giving a eulogy for his mother.
Regal.
@5 FTW. Going back to the archives for that one. I can't wait 'til he opens J. Pour-Pint Morgan's.
wtf… then who exactly are we supposed to vilify?
Bess, Vikram? It's Victor.
Larry Kudlow.
Ah, what is JD talking about? He has retirement plans, he gets big payouts if he is terminated and if there is a change of control he owns 9mm shares/share equivalents so there's his golden parachute. Does he expect us to think he actually bought those shares in the open market and they weren't given to him as part of his various employment agreements?
He also gets personal use of the various JPM aircraft and vehicle fleet.
These guys are all dillusional – even the smartest ones….
That's why this isn't going away.
They should all just shut up.
@6 I bet you have no idea what you are talking about. fractional reserve systems, shadow banking system, easy credit, community reinvestment act, excessive monetary policy with a fiat dollar..sure…it's all the bankers. you luddite.
Ah, @13 you are a ballbag. hes not talking about himself or other ceo's, hes talking about his employees, most of which dont make these obscene salaries or collect these outsized bonuses. The collective in these places make a good living but arent compensated nearly as much as you think and certainly dont get these crazy benefits. If they get canned it is a severance like everywhere else, thats it. Go back to sleep you fat barrel of monkey spunk…
@14 – No, you have no clue what you're talking about. The best you can do is throw out jingoistic pseudo-populist buzzwords your idiotic political demagogues taught you. Go fuck yourself. When you're done, come back and shine my fucking shoes.
Not 6
I'll quit whining when I can have my job and retirement savings returned to me. Until then, fuck bankers.
@16 – jingoistic? great word, when used in the proper context. don't force it. your posts adds nothing, which would have been fine if funny, but it's not even that. I referred to objective factors that caused a bubble. if you are going to resort to malaprops and name-calling, I think we all would like it to be funnier!
16 = 6
Not @14
@17 dimon tookyerjrrrbs??
@13, very publicly and in a well-documented fashion, JD took out a loan against his entire personal net worth ($25 Million at the time), and used the loan proceeds to buy (then) BankOne stock. What he has, he earned – with leverage to show his conviction. I have a suggestion for your future posts:
1. Check facts.
2. Make post.
See if that helps you to sound less stupid in the future.
@16 – the best you can do is recite the rubbish wall street sympathizers have been spewing out for the last 12 months. I love when people on this board swear in their posts – probably the only time in their life they get to act tough without being hung on a coat hook by the elastic on their briefs.
@21:
You'll like the guy in this video. Do you know him?
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=_3mw49mk_x0
@13 – i hate to disappoint you but when jamie joined bank one he personally bought 2 million shares – granted the jpm merger and subsequent stock awards worked pretty well for him – he did put his money where his mouth is – and as far as i know he has sold any jpm shares during his tenure – he does have significant skin in the game which i am assuming rubs you the wrong way?
JD realizes the banks are losing the PR campaign. That's why he is fighting back
I don't think he will win but he will look like a hero to his employees (the ones that really matter)
"…..probably the only time in their life they get to act tough without being hung on a coat hook by the elastic on their briefs….."
I think you meant "meat hook". You write like a Tri-Delt.
All this talk about hooks is getting me going!
- Elliot Spitzer
@28 FTW
@17/other socialists:
I can understand why you're upset, since your retirement accounts got wiped out.
At JT Marlin Securities, we can help. We recommend a re-allocation into high-yield bonds 80%, and alternatives with the remaining 20%.
We have some CDO^5 of 99's that right now are priced to yield 8.5%, and they are rated AAA. Put your 80% there.
The best hedge fund manager is Handbridge Capital. Put your remaining 20% there, and just let it ride. Ignore temporary market fluctuations.
We have helped thousands of people in your position, and we would be happy to have one of our Senior Brokers contact you.
Dipshit @32:
"Public" is another word for "socialist". If you'd stop exposing yourself in socialist parks or at rest areas near socialist highways, you could go to a socialist library and read how "The Pledge of Allegiance" was written by none other than a "socialist". You probably said that socialist pledge every day you spent in a socialist elementary school– which was probably just up to last year given your knowledge of "socialism".
@33:
Thank you. Until now, I was unaware that the word "public" was synonomous with "socialist." Thank you for that information, and I will relay it to the public schools and the NEA.
Now, how many of the CDO^5s of 99 can I put you in for? These things are HOT, and they won't last.
@17 – maybe you should've made better career and investing choices like being a hitter at a bank instead of a real estate agent in the Inland Empire
@33 stop flirting with 32 and get back to work. someones has to now that you cant even spit without hitting one of them socialists
The only reason JD is successful is because he is a light skinned black man who does not use a Negro dialect, unless he wants to.
Brian Williams is a pussy.
@36:
Hey, @17/33 is MY lead! I'm trying to help the guy recover his losses.
He must have had a bad broker. JT Marlin agrees with him that the big guys on Wall Street are a bunch of crooks, and wimps too. None of them have the CDO^5s that yield 8.5%.
Life does need to continue and telling people what they can and cannot make with regards to bonus/compensation is not the rhetoric that will get this country moving again.
GS took tax money and declared that as a profit and unfortunately for us they were right given they got that fucking money.
The majority of this country choose this clown for prez and now we live with that. The GS situation is different then the rest of these bonuses.Remember NYC relies heavily on WS comp to remain viable. Unless you want this to turn into Detroit. Careful what you wish for.
@ 34, so would Handbridge Capital be a multi-strat fund, or more of a "directional" strategy?
@32 must work for Cincinatti Bowtie Capital Management, LLC's feeder fund.
negro dialect! hahahahahahah. I love Harry Reid. I mean I hate him but you have to love how fucking stupid he is.
I agree Brian is a penis eating dipshit.
I'm interested in Handbridge Capital, but I'm concerned about liquidity. What kind of lockup are we looking at here? I may need to withdraw in short order as in order to achieve real market saturation and penetration.
I'd need to contact a Senior Broker to answer your question specifically. My understanding is that Handbridge has a strategy that involves rapid bi-directional equity movements, supported between two soft, flexibile fixed income positions that keep the equity position very well hedged in.
Returns are explosive, and the Handbridge folks will never jerk you around.
Mark @42…easy, easy big feller. I'm told that once you get off the steroids your nuts will grow back.
~Jose C.
Headbouncehomer, AK
Thanks HC. I guess you are still on the roids.
Good luck. Nice to see your mother got them back.
Mark
Mark McGuire just admitted to punching Snooki in the face.
@47:
There's so much tension and anxiety these days. I blame it all on investment bankers.
@44, so do they typically work in round lots, or are they willing to take positions with smaller sizes?
i remember when this site was only populated by people who work in finance. im sure its to much to ask, but if you hate 'bankers' go bitch about it somewhere else. and i guess i missed something because i dont understand the brian williams line of questionable humor.
-nostalgic,frustrated and confused
@50 oh god, shut up. it's one populist crazy who wandered in a side door, and will presumably soon have is IP address banned by Bess. grow a pair.
@50, Ron Blarney? Is that you?
Who ARE these JT Marlin guys? I'm totally hooked! CDO^5's are brilliant! And at 8.5%? Vaht a Bahgain!
But . . . wait . . . what happens when someone comes out with a CDO^6 product?
@35 = oriental
54 = racist. Examine your mammary.
@49: Round lots are fine, beginning at 34 for our B and D class of shares. At Handbridge, we will not accept any accounts under 34. Above 34, investors may choose our class A, B or D shares.
We guarantee explosive returns, though the time for the fund to reach its investment climax may vary.
Regardless of what you decide, at Handbridge, we guarantee every customer a happy ending!
@50 so writing proper english is not a requirement? Clearly you are a banker.
you mean TOO not TO. You wanted to say- "its TOO much to ask"
now TO answer you- yes its TOO much to ask. Now go finger bang your lil sister. You lil bitch.
-Brian Williams
I wish I could punch Snooki in the face.
@44,
I've researched that strategy and found that it's not sustainable. You can't even hold that position overnight.
JD is right. People are paid for performance, who the f#ck is Obama to question how someone is to be paid, or how much.
Last I checked those liars in the Treasury and Fed strong armed Wall Street to take the money and play by their way – or else. Ken Lewis was a pawn for Paulson. They told him what to say and how to say it. KL took it for the country. What do you think would have happened to the market if KL said we are invoking the MAC. The markets would have been down another 500+ points.
I am sick and tired of the socialist tinged agenda of this administration, he is trying to revamp this country into the Chicago model of government – inept at best.
The war on wealth and success by Obama and his mislead followers is scary. When did we stop rewarding success in this country? Why are we diverting to the lowest common denominator when we should all strive to achieve much?
Last I checked we got into this mess because regulators were asleep behind the wheel, and as usual they punish the masses for the misdeeds for a few.
Vote Obama out. His legacy will be a large tax bill for future generations to appease his constiuents. How many jobs as inner city people of few means created? Zero is the answer. Capital creates jobs, and when you disincentivize capital to create jobs you get what we have now. Small business is in a weak revenue environment and faced with rising costs, is it a surprise this ecomony can't create jobs? The entitlement mentality is going to ruin this country.
What happened to hark work? They just taxed the hell out of it….
@60 funny you left out big govt.
Please forgive my slowness today, but what's with the hate for Brian Williams? It was McGwire that took steroids.
JD and Ke$ha; only people I know that brush their teeth with a bottle of Jack.
@49, Interesting, but I'm worried that Handbridge isn't competitive in the overly crowded stat-arb space. Can you comment on your strategies, or is it a proprietary "black-box" that you're not willing to open up?
@65, not 49, but I understand their black box strategy has a lower fee structure than their plain vanilla offerings.
@62 – I didn't think it was realistic / likely target, however desirable it might be as one.
-59
Idiot at @57. If you're going to criticize someone's spelling, it's appropriate to spell correctly yourself. the proper spelling of the phrase is: "it's too much to ask." I suggest a course in remedial apostrophes. And another in recidivist jackassery.
- Not @50
@63 williams pled guilty to murder…
There is no black box at Handbridge. 60% VTI 40% KMP levered up 10 times. BOOM. DONE.
@59:
Well, at JT Marlin, we will swallow any losses. We typically hold these positions for short periods of time, sometimes only an hour or so. But we're in and out of these positions several times per day. But we won't stroke our customers, nor will we force-fit them into any particular boobs – I mean bonds.
@70, I think I'm beginning to understand – Handbridge Capital just uses two big positions and a little leverage? Sounds pretty simple, but is it effective?
61 FTW
-guy who hates Obama
Eat shit, BRIAN WILLIAMS!
Mark McG's Bacne
Seriously 61, it was the regulators who "got us into this mess?" Not the geniuses at GS or B of A or Morgan Stanley or Lehman or AIG? But "the regulators?"
And how many jobs did capital create from 2000-2009? I'll give you a clue – it's a nice round (0) number.
Your work on economic theory is excellent – it just didn't play out that way in the real economy.
@75:
Right on. There are no financial problems at Fannie Mae or Freddie Mac. Any proposals to shore up their capital base or tighten lending standards will make homes less affordable for low income people.
- Barney Fwank, Chair, House Financial Services Committee
#75 read what i wrote, small business stopped hiring because of uncertainity – economic theory is not my source, it was reality. Check your facts, or just go ask your local small business if you do not believe me.
Regulators were asleep behind the wheel, why did they not make the IB's mark capital against their net exposure at a higher ratio? Because the industry told them they did not need to…….
Your turn…
@75 –
Yes, it was the regulators, and it was the fed. it was the fiat dollar. Greenie held interest rates too low. But the real winner goes to Barney Frank and the amazing community reinvestment act. Forcing banks to make loans to people they didn't want to lend to. (Because they couldn't pay them back.) He wins the darwin award. In the most classic sense of irony ever seen in my life, he now is heading financial reform. Kind of like making an arsonist the chief of police. Let's not forget that Boa was fine until they were threatened not to invoke mac. Others were long and stupid. Some banks were not long and stupid, some were fine, but it's a banking crisis, and so, (get this, boys and girls.,) after bretonwoods II, we have a "fractional reserve system." Do you understand that boys and girls? that's "leverage." so anytime we pump to much money in with low rates and create a bubble, the whole system is at risk. Now, LEH was levered what…30 times? seems a little excessive, no? but not all banks were.
These are all trifling details, however…I am a loser that didn't pay attention in school, I have little motivation, and have zero concept of what hard work or competitiveness is. So, in short, I'd like to say one last thing to the capitalists….
WWWWWAAAAAAAAA!!!!!!!!!!!
Joe Stiglitz & Peter Orszag
(co-authors of a paper in 2002 stating that FNMA can't lose money…now working for the adminstration.)
thaaaaanks!
@50 and @59,
@14, @18, @21 and @24 is a disaffected, populist blogger with too much time on his hands. He's in an echo chamber and thinks that passively watching the events unfold from the outside provides the same experience and understanding as actively participating in the events as they have occurred.
The Tea Bagger's solution would be almost comedic if it weren't so naive. Eliminate the federal reserve system they say. Let the money center banks fail they say.
I appreciate moral hazard but the Tea Baggers have failed to appreciate the systemic nature of the crisis. Perhaps having a nut sack covering their eyes prevents them from seeing reality.
Nonetheless I will concede that it is pretty outrageous that the AIG counterparties were made whole using taxpayer liquidity. In absence of this liquidity, in all its forms, today many of the recipients would no longer qualify as a going concern.
I wish the Tea Baggers would pay more attention to David Walker of the Pete Peterson Foundation and focus on the real time bomb.
@79, it's the systemic nature of the fed's monetary policy that CAUSED it. I can see fine. I was two of those posts, not all of them.
@80,
"…the systemic nature of the fed's monetary policy…"
I don't understand.
@79
@23 – you are one dumb ass – Dimon made $70mm on option exercises alone in just his last 2 years at Citi and well over $100mm in just option exercises during his entire time at Citi – with over another $50mm in comp and $100+mm in remaining Citi stock that was vested as part of his deal when he left Citi – so old JD's net worth was probably over $200mm when he bought those Bank One shares – he also got almost a 3 for 1 special on that buy since it was done in connection with his employment agreement where he was given 3.24mm in options with the same strike price as the stock he purchased. Why dont you do some homework….
Small business (and big business) stopped hiring because they were scared shitless, not because of "uncertainty." They stopped hiring because their sales had fallen off a cliff, not because of "uncertainty." You can believe anecdotal evidence, but unemployment numbers were skyrocketing along with stock market declines and blowouts in corporate spreads.
There was very little "uncertainty." If anything small and large businesses were "certain" that the economy was going in the tank. Check confidence numbers from late '08 and early '09.
@81 –
Dollar is the reserve currency. (For now..even as much as the next decade.) Rather than adhere to a gold standard, we use financial alchemy and a oiuja board to ascertain how many dollars there are in the system. Even the brightest economists cannot consistently get that number right with accuracy. Ergo, there were too many dollars in the "SYSTEM." So we had a systemic crisis. You could not have had a crisis of this magnitude without two components: bad regulation (CRA, barney frank, etc…forcing bad loans.) and too many dollars floating around. go to econtalk.org, and listen to Charles Calomiris. It's an hour and a half, it's worth it.
@79:
Good comment, and thanks for the reference to the Pete Peterson Foundation.
An ill-informed public is what politicians of all stripes love, and today it is they who spawn these simplistic, naiive stories of greedy Wall Street villains and Obama's heroic czars who have "plans" to rescue us from financial and economic collapse.
Its all good psycho-drama.
@84,
It sounds like you're opposed to a fractional reserve system and are in favor of returning to fixed exchange rates and the gold standard.
That's practical.
@85 –
Motivist. Examine your race.
@86 – in the long run, it very much is.
@84 – That's bad LEGISLATION…regulation was the rest of the crap that enabled the poor legislation to cause real trouble.
It's pretty amazing you think the gold standard is a practical solution…you must also be for population control, the old school, and you must really hate progress.
-Sour in the Snow
@82, you know his comp numbers are publicly available, right? And that I can look them up? Because I did. His sum total compensation at C, minus federal, and New York state and city taxes, looks more like my $25MM number (ok, fine, maybe $30, MAYBE) than your ridiculous number. Bloomberg estimates his current net worth to be just about the same as your '00 guesstimate ($225MM).
You must've assumed he's given away a fortune, given the run-up in value since he started acquiring shares? What a nice guy he is!
Or maybe you assumed no one would check your "facts"?
@84 I am for people being self-sufficient. i do not expect gold standard to return, it's totally impractical to do, but I think understanding it helps point to the causes of the crisis, so we can stop adressing symptoms and call it a cure. I hate progress if it's a tax. I am not for population control, but I am not for saving those who cannot save themselves.
whew!
@90 – you are an idiot – look at the option exercises he had while he was at Citi/Travelers – in 98 he made $32.2 million on exercising options and in 97 he made $36.8 million. He also owned nearly 2.5 million shares of Citi when he left in 1998 worth about $100mm. During his last 3 years at Citi/Travelers he averaged about $5mm of salary and bonus per year and he had been with Weill for 15 years prior to that – so he made $50mm in cash comp easy. Read some of the proxies genius – Sandy Weill (your hero's boss back then) made $273mm in compensation in 1997 making him the highest paid executive ever – so you're trying to tell me that his #2 had to borrow $50mm a few years later? You're wrong – JD's net worth was easily over $200mm when he took the Bank One job – he borrowed nothing and you have no clue of the facts.
Uh oh. Expect the waves of populist outrage to continue as word spreads that your outsized bonuses will be spent on $3-5 million dollar Manhattan condos, $35K per year private school for the kiddies (including the illegitate ones), $40K vacations, $50K watches, and $20K watch repair.
If the MM worshipping populist troll reads this, his blood pressure will skyrocket:
http://money.cnn.com/2010/01/11/news/economy/bank...
@16 – the best you can do is recite the rubbish wall street sympathizers have been spewing out for the last 12 months. I love when people on this board swear in their posts – probably the only time in their life they get to act tough without being hung on a coat hook by the elastic on their briefs.
All this talk about hooks is getting me going!
- Elliot Spitzer
#50 – #93:
No one reads you.
@91,
Perhaps I'm wrong but you impress me as a man with testicles obscuring his vision.
From now on I'll simply refer to you as DPB.
Yes, the CDS market should be regulated.
If you believe the reimplementation of the gold standard is totally impractical, then why use the phrase "excessive monetary policy with a fiat dollar"?
If you believe that the fractional reserve system should be abolished, then you must also abhor entrepreneurship.
If you believe that the money center banks should have been allowed to fail, it's likely that in the last few years you haven't been close enough to the institutional market to appreciate its global interconnectivity and in the last twenty-four months you haven't been close enough to the problem to appreciate its severity.
If you think that the best alternative was the good bank – bad bank proposal, then you're a hypocrite because the taxpayer would still have picked up the $700bn tab and quantative easing would still have been necessary.
@79
1) Bush and Congress (via lack of adequate mortgage laws and general oversight, screwed up.. as did the average homeowner, who dove in, not knowing how to swim or caring how deep the water).
2) Obama, and Bush, via TARP and liquidy kept us from total collapse and we should be somewhat surprised things are as good as they are.
3) Banks and bankers necessary, and valuable, to keep us from being Haiti or some ass backward backwater.
4) Obama could pull gold from his ass and haters will still be like, "Why isn't that shit Platinum"
5) Eventually we need some sort of national sales or vat tax and major tax reform along with a serious effort to balance the budget.
6) The current Republicans speaking loudest are not equipped for deep thinking on anything. New blood needed.
7) Jamie Dimon is right. This populism nonsense is out of hand, with people sending me email forwards about "Why doesn't the government just give 40 million people near retirement age 1 million each and mandate they buy a car and a home and voila, the problems are fixed." Everybody looking for easy solutions, or trying to pin the tail on one donkey.
@96
um i dont think you realize how much 40 mil x $1 mil is
I drive a Dodge Stratus!! You don't talk about my Dodge Stratus that way!!
… there's only one thing a man can do when he's, suffering from a spiritual and existential funk …
εκατό
@97, reread my point. I'm quite aware of the $40 trillion amount, which is why your average person who forwards these nonsense–"Hey we are smarter than government"– solutions are quite ill equipped to understand anything going on. (Or make sensible voting decisions).
I dont see how jobs that are not directly related to number (trading jobs) can be evaluated with bonuses that are say more than 20% of the salary — based on what? People are not paid for their hard work, if that were true — just increase their base. Bonuses in these jobs create politicking and stagnation.
I dont see how jobs that are not directly related to number (trading jobs) can be evaluated with bonuses that are say more than 20% of the salary — based on what? People are not paid for their hard work, if that were true — just increase their base. Bonuses in these jobs create politicking and stagnation.
there is plenty of research on how high bonuses have no influence on performance. If your bonus is clouding your mind — another sign of what a bad influence bonus could be…