Last week we wondered aloud whether or not former TCW CIO Jeffery Gundlach had been set up by his employer to look like a sex-crazed maniac. To recap, Gundlach is being sued by TCW for, among other things, conspiracy, unfair competition and theft of proprietary (Gundlach started his own firm last month, DoubleLine LLC). The other “things” are the items the firm claimed to have found by searching Gundlach’s offices (one in Santa Monica, one in LA), which included drugs, paraphernalia (“bearing evidence of recent use”), 12 sexual “devices,” 34 “hardcore pornographic magazines,” and 36 “hardcore sexually explicit DVDs and videocassettes.” The sheer volume of stuff seemed suspect to us (what could he possibly need with thirty-six different DVDs), and we felt that it was our duty to get to the bottom of the whole thing, by asking you people, in your professional opinions, if you thought the guy was set up. Although over 67% of you agreed that yes, TCW must’ve stashed the stuff in Gundlach’s office to make him look bad (or like he was operating a online wholesale sex shop distributor and keeping the inventory at his office), we’ve been informed that the answer is no. By Jeffery Gundlach. Who took ownership of the items in a letter to his new clients today.
[...]
Also! I’ve spoken with someone extremely familiar with the matter, who was kind enough to provide me with a bit more specific accounting of the aforementioned items. Disclaimer: obviously, this is the sort of thing that, in lieu of having the actual DVD titles, description of the devices, etc, I would be forced to “imagine” whether or not Gundlach was a fan of, say, Backdoor Sluts 9. So I understand that you might automatically assume the following was made up straight from the mind of Bess Levin. But no: this is the stuff Gundlach kept in his office, for real:
DVDs:
Asian Office Sluts
Weapons of Ass Destruction
Buckets of Cum
Big Butt Backdoor Babes 3
Ass Traffic Volume 2
Evil Anal 8
Gang Bang My Face
Sloppy Hoes
Squirt In My Gape
Swallow My Pride 2
The Art of Female Ejaculation
The Bondage Nookie Court
A Trip Down Mammary Lane
Deep Inside Dirty Debutantes
Dr. Fellatio 16
Sexual Devices:
black restraining device
brown rubber penis, 6 inches
cardboard with pink and black straps for restraining
chrome penis, 6 inches, in red velvet bag
glass penis, 8 inches, in black velvet bag
glass penis, 7.5 inches, blue velvet bag with tag ‘phallic’
KY washing liquid with purple rubbing device
Sexy Slave Kit For Amazing Sex
pink and black strap restraining device
rubber penis-shaped sexual device
Drugs:
baggie containing green “brown leafy substance”
bag labeled “medical use only”
bag labeled “90210 kush”
Gundlach_Friends of DoubleLine_1-11-10 [PDF]
Unreal.
Clearly he works hard and likes to blow off steam in the office…. a lot of steam.
Amateur.
- Ping Jiang
#16 was the best of the Dr. Fellatio series.
Bess, you've outdone yourself!!!! Well Played!!!
Which of the movies have you watched out of curiousity?
When will dese items be auctioned on E-bay?
-cg
speechless
"vestiges of closed chapters of my private life"
is he taking resumes?
-PJ
Man, do I feel good I signed up with him.
~Ohio Teachers' Pensions Fund Manager
hmmm…double line seems eerily close to "double penetration." I see what he did there.
Anyone check the cast list to see if perhaps he starred in these movies?
And perhaps he was the model for the glass and chrome penises.
All perfectly innocent explanations for a closed chapter of one's life… well, or not.
good work bessy, now this is "investigative journalism" that no sleeves could only aspire to produce…
@tax chicky – you have a level of understanding any man would love. stop playing coy, make me an honest man (we can watch the movies together)!
holy shit
Maybe these things were merely promotional items given away after a successful stock underwriting for a DVD/sex-toy company.
There could be a perfectly innocent explanation to all of this. People are so eager to rush to judgement, just because a guy has 36 XXX DVDs and a bunch of chrome and rubber penises in his desk.
After seeing the list of those titles and devices I am wondering if Gundlach wears "Coke bottle"- thick glasses and shaves his palms?
What happens in Santa Monica did not stay in Santa Monica.
Chrome, glass, rubber, several different colors. We are talking about an artiste here.
(Golf clap)
- TW
I think he's opening new chapters with this letter.
"Dear Friends of DoubleLine…
I have crossed the double line before, and not just with d.p. movies, or double-ended dildos, or double coke lines for the escorts… in days past, as a fixed-income manager, I never felt as cool or as desired as the equity guys…but I would like to assure you that as far as your double line is concerned, it will be crossed only by positive numbers from our DoubleLine…"
"Swallow My Pride 2" ????
Jeez, that's what I was going to name my new yacht.
~T. Woods
Keloid, AZ
@16 why? SC isn't into dick.
The only thing more effed-up than this is the Cantor sex-robot thing.
A "closed chapter in his life?" Wtf does that mean?
These items are all part of the standard-issue orientation package for new hires at D.E. Shaw.
@22 he's not into gay porn anymore?
@23 he's hardly ever around anymore, who knows what he's into.
Puh-lease. Chrome dildos are so 1980's. Real men use titanium.
"KY washing liquid with purple rubbing device……" ????
I've heard of a "Canadian tuxedo", a "Boston Steamer" and a "Cincinnatti Bowtie" but what the hell is Kentucky washing liquid or should I even ask?
~Hillbilly Banker
Vestiges?…Ewwwwwwwww!
Was that wrong? Should I not have done that? I tell you, I gotta plead ignorance on this thing, because if anyone had said anything to me at all when I first started at TCW that that sort of thing is frowned upon . . . you know, cause I've worked in a lot of offices, and I tell you, people do that all the time.
JG
when did those chapters close? yesterday?
"Let KY® Brand YOURS+MINE® personal lubricant be a catalyst for exploration. For more play during foreplay – and during you know what, apply as desired when the moment feels right. She should apply yours (blue) to him. And he should apply mine (purple) to her…."
If all he has left is purple, he's been going at it alone.
I understand.
~D. Duchovny
The sex addict defense should hit the spot.
- D. Duchovny
I wonder if everyone who quit with him is now plagued with a few doubts? "Ha Ha, Mr Stern, I sure fooled you with that fake resignation letter, eh? Ho Ho!"
Let's see, I can deny it all and people will probably assume I'm innocent or I can write a letter to all my clients and complain because my rights to privacy were violated. The guy clearly lacks good judgement.
- Balloon Boy's Dad
I went to my doctor one day because I noticed I had a purple penis. Frightened as I was the doctor saw me right away.
"Have you been in a fight or injured in some way…?", he asked as he examined my johnson. No, I replied.
"Have you been sitting for a long time or wearing your clothes too tight?" "No", I answered.
"Well, something is going on. How is your sex life?
"Awful Doc. I had to resort to buying a female sex robot and man is that robotic hole tight…" I told him.
"You should use a lubricant" he lectured,"..like a jelly…"
"I am" I replied. "Grape."
"Squirt In My Gap"?!?!?
Bess's disclaimer notwithstanding, for the sake my sanity, someone needs to tell that was made up.
Damn my boy likes the butt movies!
He needs to be on my new show:
"Will Anal traders get us out of this recession?"
Call me for real Jeff
Dr. Phil
Its national "Cum Clean Day"
-M. McGwire
St. Louis, MO
As all the energy traders reading this thread know, it's "Squirt in my Gape" (not "Gap") and part of the Evil Angel portfolio….uh….so I've been told, that is.
36- it's a letterman/lauren hutton spoof
This gives a new meaning to ASSet BACKed unSECURITY.
@35 – very good.
"I assure you that I remain the worthy fiduciary in whom you have entrusted your investments over many years. Together with my team, I navigated the treacherous credit crisis markets and protected and grew your principal while others failed. I believe that we at DoubleLine have earned your trust, and hope that you will continue to permit us to protect and make money for you and with you."
and on you. don't forget on you. and in you.
90210 Kush? That's priceless.
@40 Nice!
Never use the word "smear" and the odd sounding "innuendo" in print when you are alleged to have been hoarding lubricants and phallic devices in a company related office.
i hear he had the only copy of
Bareback Obama
"The POTUS does America"
incredible work bess levin.
What is wrong with you finance people?? If you aren't getting paid a bonus for losing billions of dollars with huge wrong way bets you're out there making an underling wear women's underwear, having dangerous escapades with bisexual prostitutes, hiding dildos and porn in your desk, getting lap dances from hookers in front of your female staffers or saying you're doing God's work.
I would say, "Get a grip" but you'd take it the wrong way.
~T. Woods
Doghouse, NY
I'm pretty sure he meant to say "closeTed" chapters of his life.
I'll offer $5,000 to anyone who puts on the pink and black restraining straps and submits to penetration by the 7.5 inch glass penis.
-Raj Raj
I'm itching to make a comment here, but it's just not necessary… this is the best story ever.
Jeff's Dad: Now son, you're a big boy, so I'm gonna teach you how big boys urinate. OK?
Jeff: OK Dad.
Jeff's Dad: It's a five-step process, son. One. Unzip your fly. Paying attention?
Jeff: Yes Dad.
Jeff's Dad: Good. Two. Pull out your penis. Three. Pee into the toilet. Got that?
Jeff: Yup.
Jeff's Dad: When you're finished, Four. Push your penis back in your pants. Five. Zip up your fly and flush the toilet. Got it?
Jeff: I think so.
Jeff's Dad: Good. Now go on in to the bathroom and close the door. Then give it a try. I'll be right outside.
Jeff: OK. (Goes in, closes door).
…
Jeff's Dad: Jeff, you all right in there?
Jeff: Two-four, two-four, two-four …
basically, they raided his apartment and found things that are legal and totally normal in los angeles.
do you know how many gs people have banged a receptionist in the closet? i know a few. who cares. do you want a mormon managing your money?
ok. well mormons are probably good workers, but people who fuck are good workers too.
i would be less likely to hire tcw than doubline
If Gundlach was Pinocchio his hand would have caught on fire.
@54 they raided his office, you dumb shit. most company's don't let you leave stuff like this in your desk.
I can't wait for his first manager conference call. I have a few questions I would like to ask him.
A farmer is out discing a milo field one day and he sees his little boy running towards him across the field. The farmer stops the tractor and gets off to meet the boy.
"Daddy.., the breathless boy says, "Momma says come home 'cause a minister has come to visit our house!"
"Which minister?" the farmer asks. The little boy says he doesn't know.
The farmer thinks a bit and says to the boy, "OK, you go home and if it's the Baptist minister, lock up the liquor closet. If it's the Methodist minister, put a lock on the hen house. And if it's one 'o them Mormons, you sit on Momma's lap 'till I get home…"
@26, you forgot Cleveland steamers AKA the Cleveland Browns.
I think it's funny that this thread –with its multi-colored dildo sordidtry and hilarious porn flick opportunities for quick wit and snappy patter– pales in comment comparison to biz school debates or the crybaby financier in Houston who was upset at the Kincaid School.
im having a hard time believing the biggest bonergroaner was only 8in. guys got no vision.
Bess, this is absolute genius and the investigative work is beyond compare. What's the codename for your source? Deepthroat is already taken, so I'll suggest 'Deepofficeanal' to fit in with the theme Jeff set up.
@ HAM – not sure whether use of "hard time" is appropriate here. too soon.
He is into art, he must have some serious fashion sense:
Joseph Cornell, Untitled (Medici Princess) (ca. 1952) and Untitled (Pinturicchio Boy) (ca. 1946). The works are something of a matched pair (both carried the same presale estimate, $700,000-$1,000,000), and indeed were won by the same bidder, a man in an electric blue suit, pink shirt and designer sunglasses sitting in the fourth row. Medici Princess brought $2,592,000, a new record for the artist, and Pinturicchio Boy brought $1,584,000. An observer in the room identified the buyer as Jeffrey Gundlach, a West Coast fund manager and new collector.
http://www.artnet.com/magazine/news/artmarketwatc…
@60, the Houston thread was driven by a crybaby, masochistic Kincaid alumnus who was practically begging to get slammed.
And as @61 notes, the largest dildo was 8 in; must be small bananas for DB regulars.
Source could be called :
"Deep Fist"
#56 fecal moron.
If you read the letter there is an implication that this was found at a location that wasnt exactly a tcw office.
do you really think this was in the main office?
im guessing he had a TCW IT setup in an apartment he kept. TCW locked down the IT found this stuff and then decided that it made sense to publicize it.
an it makes sense if you wnt to destroy your own business to take out someone else. stupid. so what if gundlach was an ahole
@ 64 "new collector." Well, we knew he liked to take it up the ass.
@64,
Electric Blue suit? Pink Shirt? Totally awesome. I can't wait to tell Tubbs.
~Sonny
@61 — 8 inches is probably huge compared to his own. Perception is always a relative thing . . .
"closed chapter of my life", my ass. Er, maybe not… But can we find out when those movies were made? If Bondage Nookie Court's a 2007 film, then he's got some explaining to do.
Hmm… I'll have to remember that if I'm appointed to the bench. All rise, Bondage Nookie Court's now in session.
– ET!
He told me he would get rid of DVD #1 after we watched it…
–Melissa Lee
@67 "do you really think this was in main office?"
yup. it was in two office– first in the Santa Monica one and a few days later in the LA office, which is TWC headquarters.
amazing work BL.
To save everyone the trouble of googling-
Cincinnati bow tie, is when you poop on a person's chest & you move it around with your butt cheeks, leaving a bow-tie shaped smear.
Thanks Bess that makes all the difference.
I think. Keeping weed at your office is ok with me. sexual devices no.
I can tell you that there are a few cases where porn has been in the offices of a large investment bank or two.
More amazing info-
A Boston Steamer is the act of taking a shit on someones chest before during or after sex (can be used as a punishment, break up tactic or fetish act) Very similar to the Cleveland Steamer, but with the Boston Steamer, you also tea bag her with your nut-sack while taking the shit.
sarcastic asshole@77 bess wasn't passing judgment on whether or not this was acceptable, but merely passing on what happened, i.e. doing her job. I believe her comment @73 was merely a clarification to the misinformation left @68.
@75/77 congratulations on just discovering urbandictionary.com
if reuters is going to crib the letter from DB, they might as well use the dvd titles too.
Not even our inimitable receipt guy could have dreamed this up. The Bondage Nookie Court comes highly recommended.
@73 Bess, so it was in two separate TCW offices both of which were leased to TCW not Gundlach? Or one was the TCW headquarters and one was leased to Gundlach? Can you clarify?
Answered my own question, I suppose:
1. Evil Anal 8 was released in 2008. http://www.adultfilmdatabase.com/video.cfm?videoi… (NSFW)
2. Ass Traffic 2 was released in 2007. http://www.adultfilmdatabase.com/video.cfm?videoi… (NSFW)
3. Gang Bang My face was released in 2006. http://www.adultfilmdatabase.com/video.cfm?videoi… (again, NSFW).
I couldn't look up more, it was making me sick. That's "vestiges of closed chapters of my life"? No, it's quite active, thank you. But some people think, if you lie long enough, hard enough, and frequently enough, it becomes the truth. Ugh.
– ET!
Are the guys at Oaktree actually going to back this sick-o? I always held them up as the "gold standard" of integrity. This is filth and who knows what other secrets will come up in his life. I bet there investors are not too happy right now. Forget ever going public, too.
@64 – no surprise that he's not straight!
@84
Frankly I don't give half a sh*t what my money managers do in their personal life, as long as they keep printing money (legally). Why the hell do you care? Would you rather invest with a celebate monk (think pax funds) who underperforms by 200 basis points? If so, I've got a new fund you may be interested in…
analyst@86 agreed, however: I would question the judgment of a guy who thought it was A-okay to leave all that stuff in a company-owned office. Any idiot would realize, in a corporate environment, that that would not fly.
@87
I don't disagree with questioning his judgment, on the other hand, the guy was essentially (correct me if I'm wrong) the head honcho, and as is often the case, the boss man does what the boss man wants.
I'm not making excuses, just saying I don't think its that big of a deal, as long as he performs (er the fund performs)
A problem I am having here is that Gundlach asserts that TCW searched "a small personal office [he] kept in Santa Monica. [He] personally paid the rent and all other expenses for the operation of this office." If this is true, shouldn't this be a criminal matter?
@83 lol the porn was making you sick?
Well, just goes to show you that anyone who sees himsel a a "Master" of the Universe may only be half right. And his underlings who called him the Pope? I'm thinking they meant another word that starts with a P & an O.
Well, just goes to show you that anyone who sees himsel a a "Master" of the Universe may only be half right. And his underlings who called him the Pope? I'm thinking they meant another word that starts with a P & an O.
Should have gone with a chocolate dildo; melts in your ass, not in your hand.
Bess,
Can you get some dirt on the rumors that he was having an affair with Barbara VanEvery? Or rumored parties at strip clubs with employees? Or rumored breast augmentation surgery paid for by Gundlach? I have heard, but cannot confirm. Thanks!
So does Jeff like to give or receive??? Why would a guy have so many extra penises in the office? Did the drugs make him impotent???
All this is very interesting. But per paragraph 12 of the complaint finding "36 hardcore sexually explicit DVDs and Videocassettes." So what's on the videocassettes? Is it home movies?
@95 nope. he was said to be having an affair with a man. really. bess. should check it out.
@94 & @97, this is high brow, lets keep it there. Can you imagine sitting next to him on the trading desk being an Asian woman? Who is DoubleLines Chief Compliance Officer, Barbara VanEvery? Didn't some of these videos just come out in 07-08? Closed vestiges?
interesting speculation on the bloggers part, doubt this is factual (especially given its from someone "extremely familiar with the matter) but nonetheless it serves the purpose of the blog to be sensational…
@99 "interesting speculation on the bloggers"
referring to bess as "the blogger" = you were dispatched, poorly, by some PR flack to leave that comment. also? JG ADMITTED, in writing, that 30 some-odd hardcore pornos, spank rags, and sexual devices were his/were found in his office. not that hard to believe this (which is simply the actual names, of stuff he's admitted more generally to owning/keeping at work). especially not hard to believe it if you worked with him and actually had a clue, you misinformed idiot.
@ 89
"A problem I am having here is that Gundlach asserts that TCW searched "a small personal office [he] kept in Santa Monica. [He] personally paid the rent and all other expenses for the operation of this office." If this is true, shouldn't this be a criminal matter?"
Personal office my ass. Just another lie from Gundlach. That was a TCW office (legally). Maybe it just felt like a personal space because he's been keeping VanEvery's glass dildos and a drug stash there for god knows how long.
Not sure why Oaktree is still backing this guy. If TCW wins the court case, they own DoubleLine, which is going to be REALLY EMBARRASSING for Oaktree.
Jeffrey and Barbara together????? wtf
@102
Yes, it's true. That's why he's getting divorced. That and the strap-ons.
Gundlach is getting divorced?
Bess, I saw Jeffrey had a black eye and scratched face, anyone know who has a strong right hook?
What's up with the black eye? I heard that from two people, that they'd seen JG recently and he's got a big shiner.
I think the black eye was from a Boston Steamer gone wrong…
Its terrible that mrs Gundach and Mr. vanevery have to go through this shit
I like the smut blog as much as the next person, however I feel bad for the both of them also. I know them both and they are nice genuine people.
[...] e) JEFFREY GUNDLACH (***Please let this be it***) [...]
[...] e) JEFFREY GUNDLACH (***Please let this be it***) [...]
Genius. I can’t believe no one here like this particular comment
[...] Some great stuff here. First off, the use of the phrase “fairly extensive.” What exactly does that mean? Diverse in subject matter? Ample in number? Covering a broad range of genres? Was The Fucksaw in any of the videos? Can we PLEASE get a list of Bin Laden’s porn collection titles? I mean, “Weapons of Ass Destruction” must have been in there, right? I think I’d pay just to read Bess Levin’s take on any such list. [...]
[...] for stealing information and accused him of having drugs and pornography in his office. Gundlach sort of admitted to having certain in appropriate private materials in his office but also responded "I am not distracted by frivolous, pointless, irrelevant and [...]
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