shia labeouf helmet.jpgSo I don’t normally feel the need to highlight the sections in my posts where I’m very clearly joking but since it seems that one in particular has been difficult for the naked eye to detect…


For the record, I was kidding when I said Shia LaBeouf was a Level 1 CFA candidate, back in November. Thought that was clear by saying “my sources at the institute” but guess not! Obviously ShiLa has no need for what is essentially a useless acronym used as a marketing tool, especially considering he’s got offers from Ken Griffin to help grow Citadel’s investment bank to rival Goldman Sachs, Lloyd banging down his door to come on at the partner managing director level at the firm, and a huge roster of potential investors in the likely event he decides to start his own shop.

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Comments (30)

  1. Posted by guest | January 27, 2010 at 9:24 AM

    but Courtney over at Clusterstock said he did? Did Courtney make a mistake ?

  2. Posted by guest | January 27, 2010 at 9:26 AM

    @1 courtney at BI got, what we like to call PWND. (and of course she said it there- she read it on DB and ripped it off, like most of her articles.)

  3. Posted by Lowly Assistant | January 27, 2010 at 9:28 AM

    You lie!!!!!!!!1

  4. Posted by NakedShort | January 27, 2010 at 9:34 AM

    Money Never Sleeps sounds like a gay porn flick.

  5. Posted by guest | January 27, 2010 at 9:34 AM

    poor business insider…

  6. Posted by CFA L1 Candidate aga | January 27, 2010 at 9:39 AM

    "as no need for what is essentially a useless acronym used as a marketing tool"
    Damn straight.

  7. Posted by guest | January 27, 2010 at 9:46 AM

    So, Bess: MBA > CFA I take it?

  8. Posted by guest | January 27, 2010 at 9:48 AM

    @8 why do you read that site in the first place?

  9. Posted by guest | January 27, 2010 at 9:49 AM

    Bess, I'm getting tired of reading your material regurgitated @Clusterstock 4 hours after it's posted here.
    Comstock is a thieving hooker. People have been arrested for less than what she has done.
    Now she is trying to rip the David Slaine story too.

  10. Posted by guest | January 27, 2010 at 9:50 AM

    Wait, so did he pass?

  11. Posted by guest | January 27, 2010 at 9:57 AM

    More than meets the eye here.

  12. Posted by guest | January 27, 2010 at 10:02 AM

    @13 such as what?

  13. Posted by guest | January 27, 2010 at 10:11 AM

    14 = Inspector Gadget, with dried spray paint crusted around his nose and mouth, and a colorful rag in his left hand.

  14. Posted by american bandersnatc | January 27, 2010 at 10:25 AM

    1. This movie will suck donkeys' balls
    2. I will probably go watch it

  15. Posted by guest | January 27, 2010 at 10:25 AM

    Is it just me or does this guy look like a wimp?

  16. Posted by guest | January 27, 2010 at 10:39 AM

    "has no need for what is essentially a useless acronym used as a marketing tool" – thanks for that Bess. Way to spit on the achievement of many people today. C you next tuesday.

  17. Posted by guest | January 27, 2010 at 10:49 AM

    Bess clearly rushed back and added in the part about sources at the institute since the grammar doesn't make any sense now with her ex-post-facto insertion of the new text:
    "(Once he passes the Level 1 CFA exam in December, which sources our sources at the institute tell us he’s hard at working studying for, it won’t even be fair."
    Just own up to the fact that your "post where you were clearly joking" was a failure and poor wit.

  18. Posted by guest | January 27, 2010 at 11:06 AM

    I would love to play collie with this kid and glue his butt-cheeks closed with some of my seed capital.
    Dennis Kneale, B.A.

  19. Posted by guest | January 27, 2010 at 11:12 AM

    Bess, I don't believe that GS would invite him at the P.MD. Level. That would simply never happen. Please back up with sources and cites.
    -Guy who still thinks She La Pouf is taking CFA-I.

  20. Posted by guest | January 27, 2010 at 11:21 AM

    19 = representative of business insider. so (courtney, carney, or blodget), clearly her post wasn't a failure, you guys just suck at a) getting jokes b) failing to ever not steal material, and look like idiots in the process.

  21. Posted by guest | January 27, 2010 at 11:22 AM

    @19 actually, the joke was funny and the only fail was the morons (you, business insider, etc) who thought it was serious. kill yourself.

  22. Posted by guest | January 27, 2010 at 11:23 AM

    @19 = Courtney Comstock

  23. Posted by guest | January 27, 2010 at 10:26 AM

    So guys, Oscar or CFA or MBA?

  24. Posted by NakedShort | January 27, 2010 at 11:27 AM

    @26 Courtney Cumsuck…fify

  25. Posted by guest | January 27, 2010 at 11:27 AM

    @26 :::cough::no shit:::cough

  26. Posted by guest | January 27, 2010 at 11:37 AM

    @9- Because they post more than one per hour.

  27. Posted by guest | January 27, 2010 at 11:42 AM

    @30 because they have 675 writers (and their stories still suck).

  28. Posted by guest | January 27, 2010 at 1:49 PM

    Bess, I’m getting tired of reading your material regurgitated @Clusterstock 4 hours after it’s posted here.
    Comstock is a thieving hooker. People have been arrested for less than what she has done.
    Now she is trying to rip the David Slaine story too.

  29. Posted by guest | January 27, 2010 at 6:36 PM

    @18 um, clearly she was kidding an referencing a fucking comment left on the CFA thread from earlier in the day. you dumb c u next tuesday.

  30. Posted by guest | January 28, 2010 at 7:49 AM

    whats that thing you do…there…at the end of the post…where you say something so highly improbable its humorous. Something most everyone should pick up on that its a joke…if only they had a name for that techinque…