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Money Never Sleeps Thespian Did Not Take The CFA In December

shia labeouf helmet.jpgSo I don’t normally feel the need to highlight the sections in my posts where I’m very clearly joking but since it seems that one in particular has been difficult for the naked eye to detect…


For the record, I was kidding when I said Shia LaBeouf was a Level 1 CFA candidate, back in November. Thought that was clear by saying “my sources at the institute” but guess not! Obviously ShiLa has no need for what is essentially a useless acronym used as a marketing tool, especially considering he’s got offers from Ken Griffin to help grow Citadel’s investment bank to rival Goldman Sachs, Lloyd banging down his door to come on at the partner managing director level at the firm, and a huge roster of potential investors in the likely event he decides to start his own shop.

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30 Responses to “Money Never Sleeps Thespian Did Not Take The CFA In December”

  1. guest says:

    but Courtney over at Clusterstock said he did? Did Courtney make a mistake ?

  2. guest says:

    @1 courtney at BI got, what we like to call PWND. (and of course she said it there- she read it on DB and ripped it off, like most of her articles.)

  3. Lowly Assistant says:

    You lie!!!!!!!!1

  4. NakedShort says:

    Money Never Sleeps sounds like a gay porn flick.

  5. guest says:

    poor business insider…

  6. CFA L1 Candidate aga says:

    "as no need for what is essentially a useless acronym used as a marketing tool"
    Damn straight.

  7. guest says:

    So, Bess: MBA > CFA I take it?

  8. guest says:

    @8 why do you read that site in the first place?

  9. guest says:

    Bess, I'm getting tired of reading your material regurgitated @Clusterstock 4 hours after it's posted here.
    Comstock is a thieving hooker. People have been arrested for less than what she has done.
    Now she is trying to rip the David Slaine story too.

  10. guest says:

    Wait, so did he pass?

  11. guest says:

    More than meets the eye here.

  12. guest says:

    @13 such as what?

  13. guest says:

    14 = Inspector Gadget, with dried spray paint crusted around his nose and mouth, and a colorful rag in his left hand.

  14. american bandersnatc says:

    1. This movie will suck donkeys' balls
    2. I will probably go watch it

  15. guest says:

    Is it just me or does this guy look like a wimp?

  16. guest says:

    "has no need for what is essentially a useless acronym used as a marketing tool" – thanks for that Bess. Way to spit on the achievement of many people today. C you next tuesday.

  17. guest says:

    Bess clearly rushed back and added in the part about sources at the institute since the grammar doesn't make any sense now with her ex-post-facto insertion of the new text:
    "(Once he passes the Level 1 CFA exam in December, which sources our sources at the institute tell us he’s hard at working studying for, it won’t even be fair."
    Just own up to the fact that your "post where you were clearly joking" was a failure and poor wit.

  18. guest says:

    I would love to play collie with this kid and glue his butt-cheeks closed with some of my seed capital.
    Dennis Kneale, B.A.

  19. guest says:

    Bess, I don't believe that GS would invite him at the P.MD. Level. That would simply never happen. Please back up with sources and cites.
    -Guy who still thinks She La Pouf is taking CFA-I.

  20. guest says:

    19 = representative of business insider. so (courtney, carney, or blodget), clearly her post wasn't a failure, you guys just suck at a) getting jokes b) failing to ever not steal material, and look like idiots in the process.

  21. guest says:

    @19 actually, the joke was funny and the only fail was the morons (you, business insider, etc) who thought it was serious. kill yourself.

  22. guest says:

    @19 = Courtney Comstock

  23. guest says:

    So guys, Oscar or CFA or MBA?

  24. NakedShort says:

    @26 Courtney Cumsuck…fify

  25. guest says:

    @26 :::cough::no shit:::cough

  26. guest says:

    @9- Because they post more than one per hour.

  27. guest says:

    @30 because they have 675 writers (and their stories still suck).

  28. guest says:

    Bess, I’m getting tired of reading your material regurgitated @Clusterstock 4 hours after it’s posted here.
    Comstock is a thieving hooker. People have been arrested for less than what she has done.
    Now she is trying to rip the David Slaine story too.

  29. guest says:

    @18 um, clearly she was kidding an referencing a fucking comment left on the CFA thread from earlier in the day. you dumb c u next tuesday.

  30. guest says:

    whats that thing you do…there…at the end of the post…where you say something so highly improbable its humorous. Something most everyone should pick up on that its a joke…if only they had a name for that techinque…