Over the last year or so, homeless Twizzlers spokesman Lenny Dykstra has found out who his true friends are. Who he can count on and who he can’t. In the latter category, you can put basically everyone in his life, including but in no way limited to his ex-wife, Terri, JPMorgan née Washington Mutual, who Nails says is “responsible for me losing $38 million” due to predatory lending, and Jim Cramer, who put a curse on LD’s head by calling him “one of the greats,” fired him from his gig at the TheStreet.com, and then didn’t so much as make L-Dyks a low-ball pity offer on the toilet and other bathroom fixtures (including a gold-plated swan stripped off the tub) he ripped out of his house the day he was thrown out. So it was nice to hear that there’s still one person LD can still count on to offer a shoulder to cry on and a twenty to cover a couple hours with a no frills hooker who gets the job done.
For more than 20 years, Dykstra, 46, lived huge as a self-described “robes-and-room-service kind of guy” who gained notoriety in recent years as a stock guru who wrote an investment column for TheStreet.com. In an April 2009 article in GQ magazine, photo editor Kevin Coughlin described how he met Dykstra in his $2,500-a-night suite at the Carlyle hotel in New York while interviewing for a position on The Players Club, Dykstra’s now-defunct luxury magazine for professional athletes.
Once a Major League Baseball All-Star, who was living in a multimillion-dollar Lake Sherwood estate last year, Lenny Dykstra now claims he is homeless. Sitting in a rumpled suit in a lounge at a Beverly Hills hotel — with his longtime bookkeeper on hand to pay for his drinks, food and room — he describes the past 11 months as a “nightmare.” “I’ve been fighting for my life,” Dykstra said. “I’m not the kind of person to go to people and ask for money. You have some loyal friends that help, but they can only do so much because each day comes by and it’s another day you wonder what you’re going to do, and where you’re going to sleep, and how you’re going to eat.”
eat shit and die
-maid who had to clean up after a night of mexican and buffalo wings
holy SHIT he is bloated
@2 well the camera adds about 20-30 pounds
now that I've gotten a load of those DSL's I think i know where LD can score a quick hundo.
-j gundlach
wamu is responsible for him losing 38 mm? really?
Spikes up, fag!
-Ty "Coca-Cola" Cobb
My name is Jauncho, goddamn it! JUANCHO!!
Stop Looking at Me SWAAAN! – Billy Madison
He's morphing into William Shatner
Botox is a helluva drug.
All the people Lenny gave cash to when they were down and out will now line up to help him, right? There you go!
I bet his penis is huge, and by huge, I mean really really big.
please text "help nails" to donate to this disaster. standard rates may apply.
@3 how many cameras did he have on him???
I hate Nails, what a tool. Hes borderline retarded
I would certainly treat him to a fine assortment of markers up his ass if he ever worked for me.
Ping Kneale
Robe[ls] and Bottles.
rob[els] and bottles
-tgfDetroit
@1 You are the wind beneath my wings…
I keep seeing shades f Donald Trump . . .
latter, not former — just sayin'
Spikes up, fag!
-Ty “Coca-Cola” Cobb
All kidding aside, the man's in a very bad place. I hope he finds his way.
Why doesn't he just get a shitty apartment and a job doing something?
[...] This is the second time (that we know of) that LD has been accused of touching someone he wasn’t supposed to. The last was the 17 year-old at the car wash. Most likely some stewardesses, too, but they haven’t said anything. Nails’ legal team has yet to respond to the charges though this incident, like Dykstra’s loss of $38 million and his house, will presumably be blamed on JPMorgan. [...]
[...] not fault of his own. There is someone to blame however, and that someone, LD has said many times, is JPMorgan. It is JPMorgan née Washington Mutual who caused Lenny to lose millions due to “predatory [...]
[...] not fault of his own. There is someone to blame however, and that someone, LD has said many times, is JPMorgan. It is JPMorgan née Washington Mutual who caused Lenny to lose millions due to “predatory [...]
It takes a lot of work to cause $10,000,000 worth of damage with a pair of plyers and a baseball bat. I wonder what kind of plyers they were?