Meet Lisa Carnoy. She’s the Bank of America lady exec who last month helped the company raise $19.29 billion. That makes her kind of a Big Swinging Deal (?), so the Observer spent some time getting to know her a little better. Here’s what they found out:
* Carnoy likes sports, and beer, ostensibly:
MS. CARNOY’S CORNER OFFICE in the Bank of America Tower on 42nd Street is decorated with a football, four tennis balls, a basketball, two Foster’s cans, a Mets lunch box, a Mets home plate and a Louisville Slugger baseball bat.
* Sometimes she laughs, and other times she doesn’t laugh:
She is an eccentric conversationalist, sporadically bursting into large laughter, then settling into long and odd silences.
* She puts personal touches on her deals:
…she included her team’s personal fitness programs and favored yoga positions in a pitch to Lululemon Athletica
* She worked late into the night a few times, and, on at least one occasion, over a holiday:
Ms. Carnoy is an aggressive optimist, and an aggressive employee. Two years ago, when she was Merrill Lynch’s co-head of equity capital markets for the Americas, desperate to raise equity for a firm collapsing under subprime catastrophes, she spent Christmas morning on a conference call in a hotel bathroom. Another night, she guided her daughter out of her bedroom’s princess tent at 3 a.m., crawling inside to speak with a sovereign wealth fund manager.
* She’s a freedom-fighter
Even though she was once an American history major, the enormity of last month’s offering didn’t press down on her quite as hard as her earlier work to raise money for flailing Merrill. But it pressed nonetheless. “This deal is not fighting for our survival, but fighting for our freedom,” she said. “And also to show the world that this combined company is working, it’s profitable, it’s successful, it’s able to raise all this money and off we go.”
Lisa Carnoy=BSC&L
How long til your let your buddies at NYO follow you around, Bess?
On most other nights, I crawl into her daughter's princess tent.
Regards,
Lester
Bangemyung, FL
The Mets suck.
Who holds a conference call in a hotel bathroom? Don't they have offices?
-another former Lehman quant
Im pitchign a princess tent just reading this
I'd hit it.
not impressed.
-erin c
The real story is what the sovereign wealth fund manager was doing with the daughter in the princess tent at 3 a.m.
If my calculations are correct, next season we will most likely total 183 wins.
-Mets quant
On most nights, I come home drunk, smelling like whiskey and marlboros, before crawling into the kennel.
-Dennis
Her neck is abnormally elongated, and I think she can spin her head 360 degrees, like Linda Blair did.
Nice ramen noodle hair. Apperently she cant afford a decent hair cut.
@13 you're a dick
They didn't get and important info:
1. Does she shave her snatch
2. Does she like anal?
3. Does she give and/or receive golden showers?
Reporters these days are just clueless!
Second the hair comment. She is in pre Roseanne Roseanadana stage. If it's a humid spring she may not fit in the elevators.
Lilith!
I found my new wifey.
–Tila Tequila
@15 why would it matter, since she wouldn't do any of that with you if her life deepened on it?
@19 …..someone is on the slow train to doucheville
I'm way hotter.
-zoe
She certainly has more balls than you would find in the average Bank of America Tower office.
More balls that you find in the average BofA Tower office.
agred.
-KL
Those knees aren't looking too good.
I bet those are some nasty cellulite sausages when the support hose is peeled off.
@23-25 do you think she has more balls? than you'd find in the average BofA tower office?
More balls than comments about balls (as it stands).
Within 6 months, they will find her dead body rotting in that corner office.
The weight of BofA's bloated bureaucracy will smother any enthusiasm from go-getters like her. Run while you still can.
– ex-BofA Securities & ML banker
(Moved on to other things)
* She doesnt usually drink beer but when she does she drinks Dos Equis
but has or would she shit on the floor in the office?
I am so into this blog now!!
Thanks Bess
-LD
And I quote: “But there was still a good feeling that we were doing something great for our company, doing something good for our country.”
Neither the getting nor the paying back of TARP money was good for our country. Another deluded banker doing God's work. How do you sleep in your princess tent at night? With Ambien, of course.
@34 you piss off.
-LB
@34 – disgusting, isn't it?
@34 yes the annualized 30% return to taxpayers was OUTRAGOUS. Windfall profit tax those stupid fucking taxpayers.
When I ask you to do something, you do it!
Cast as Marcia Clark in the OJ Simpson biopic.
BSD? She must have forgotten to remove the vibrator.
You're all cocksuckers. See a powerful woman and all your cocks start to shrink. A$$HOLES!
41/42 puts the lotion in the basket & it rubs the lotion on its skin or else it gets the hose again.
41/42 Could it be that her vagina is unusually large?
Her clothes say, please take me seriously, her hair and body language say, Bend me over the desk, pull my hair and spank me.
@18- Too soon.
@46 her body language? just standing there?
My guess is that she shaves…but then has the hair grafted into her scalp. Kinky.
@44 – what would you consider to be "unusually" large?
I didnt recognize her without her knee pads.
@49 Like strap a 2×4 to your ass large?
@49…big enough hold her phone, car keys, tazer gun, pack of gum and lipstick..
This "woman" has a penis. She hit me in the face with it.
KL
kenlewis@53 who hasn't hit you in the face with his/her dick?
Bark bark bark bark bark. Bark.
@52, do u think it's egg shaped
- bi curious
@44 like, superhumanly, wizard-sleeves large?
its bigger then a bread box…
-Vagasil
Her outfit sucks dog xxxx.
@59 who gives a shit what her outfit is like? other than, you know, a fag?
More Lululemon, please.
@49 like a cocktail weenie in an empty Charles Chips can large.
I gave her that pearl necklace.
-Sovereign Wealth Fund Manager living in a Princess tent outside Burj Dubai
is she Dennis Kneale?
She has hair like the Predator.
Lions, Tigers…oh my.
@41/42
Kiss my oui oui
Mario Bartiroma
@60, c'mon out of the closet, guest honey.
you guys are mean!!!
I like strong woman, with big knees and an adam's apple in a suit. wait wait…those are men. I like men!
- Barney
@62 FTW
i, and all of you, would hit it.
@45 her clothes say take me seriously?!? more like they say "i used the family and friends discount at lohemans to buy this rip off Tahari suit."
@45 her clothes say take me seriously? are YOU serious? her suit says "i was bought with the family and friends discount at lohemans. i just love it when Tahari goes on sale."
http://image.cdnl3.xosnetwork.com/pics21/400/HR/H…
*Shudder* Thats…just…not ..kosher
@71/72 I'm curious to know what the suit says.
@73 – Predator's mother? Egads!
http://www.college.columbia.edu/cct_archive/jan_f… – better than what @73 found but leaves many questions unanswered
@70, speak for yourself
Those knees scream women's rugby and sure her breath would confirm. That's for you 41/42.
CANKLE BITCH!
@73 – Great pic, perfectly illustrates what I think of her.
-D. Imus
the pale complexion, look of despair and lack of fashion say "reference librarian" but the hair says "felicity". i'm torn.
73 Give us a fuckin' heads up next time. Jeesh!
I think she's rather handsome myself.
Rosie O'Donnell
You are one ugly motha fucker
- (65)
* She doesnt usually drink beer but when she does she drinks Dos Equis
You’re all cocksuckers. See a powerful woman and all your cocks start to shrink. A$$HOLES!
@70, speak for yourself
Those knees scream women’s rugby and sure her breath would confirm. That’s for you 41/42.
I must be odd for thinking she is kinda cute.
@43 quoting Pete Nice?
Just, look at that headline up there. It's poetry.
"they built a deal with true artfulness: Bank of America needed a shareholder vote to approve such a big stock offering, but there wouldn’t be time for one. “The thought was,” Ms. Carnoy said, “how do you make something that looks, smells, breaths and acts like common stock?”
The solutions were called common equivalent securities and contingent warrants, which essentially both morph into actual stock. Better yet, when the old stockholders’ vote finally rolls around, penalties built into the deal make it nearly impossible for a rejection."
Dodging basic corporate obligations to deny shareholders their rights. And, just coincidentally, pay fat compensation. Nice. Her parents, Columbia, and BofAML can all be proud.
Is that an Ann Coulter Adam's Apple I see in that photo?
@77
One Lisa Canroy face if by land, two if by sea.
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