tim-geithner-and-ben-bernanke.jpgNeither Warren Buffett nor myself think or want it to come to this (the sex machine and I like our Fed Chairmen soft-spoken, bearded, and outfitted by Jos A. Bank) but some people– Barbara Boxer, Byron Dorgan, Russ Feingold– have forced our hand. In the event Benj is not in fact confirmed, who should take over his post? And what would the Beard do next? Back to playing D&D with his academics? We already know Greenspan’s rescinded his letters of recommendation for the cushy lecture circuit on account of Bernankle’s attempt to pin some of the blame for the shit that’s gone down on The Maestro.

Comments (47)

  1. Posted by guest | January 22, 2010 at 8:50 AM

    maria bartiromo

  2. Posted by DJ LIBOR | January 22, 2010 at 8:50 AM

    Nick Leeson.

  3. Posted by guest | January 22, 2010 at 8:51 AM

    alan greenspan

  4. Posted by guest | January 22, 2010 at 8:52 AM

    ping jiang

  5. Posted by guest | January 22, 2010 at 8:53 AM

    @4 YES

  6. Posted by guest | January 22, 2010 at 8:55 AM

    Only da Jabroni Pony can fill dees big shoes.
    CG

  7. Posted by NAS Keflavik boi | January 22, 2010 at 8:58 AM

    any automated offset printing press, 100,000 55 gallon drums of green ink, and a few million reams of 60% linen rag paper stock

  8. Posted by guest | January 22, 2010 at 9:00 AM

    "Soft-spoken, bearded, and outfitted by Jos A. Bank"=Dick Bové?

  9. Posted by guest | January 22, 2010 at 9:01 AM

    Jeff Macke. Boom. Done.

  10. Posted by guest | January 22, 2010 at 9:02 AM

    @8 those aren't jos a bank.

  11. Posted by guest | January 22, 2010 at 9:03 AM

    @10 the way she wears them, though, more than makes up for it.
    -8

  12. Posted by guest | January 22, 2010 at 9:03 AM

    Dylan Ratigan, would be my first choice.
    Dylan Ratigan

  13. Posted by guest | January 22, 2010 at 9:03 AM

    Perhaps Denis Leary. He seems to have the right ideas.

  14. Posted by guest | January 22, 2010 at 9:06 AM

    Barbara Boxer should keep her skelator finger wagging, don't call me ma'am, not getting reelected self out of this.

  15. Posted by guest | January 22, 2010 at 9:07 AM

    Rick Moranis

  16. Posted by guest | January 22, 2010 at 9:08 AM

    I nominate "WTF" Yaël.

  17. Posted by guest | January 22, 2010 at 9:10 AM

    You know you want it to be me.
    -J. Cayne

  18. Posted by guest | January 22, 2010 at 9:12 AM

    is Geithner doing the bunny hop in that pic?

  19. Posted by Tennis god | January 22, 2010 at 9:13 AM

    I feel insulted. Where's the love?

  20. Posted by guest | January 22, 2010 at 9:14 AM

    I nominate SPODE.
    -not SPODE.

  21. Posted by guest | January 22, 2010 at 9:16 AM

    I'm (hiccup) available.
    -KL

  22. Posted by guest | January 22, 2010 at 9:18 AM

    @18 yes. Timmay is a helluva dancer but he's even more talented at Karaoke.

  23. Posted by guest | January 22, 2010 at 9:24 AM

    @14 anyone who makes Fiorina look good by comparison has a special talent

  24. Posted by guest | January 22, 2010 at 9:29 AM

    Morgan Freeman on the condition he grows a beard. His soothing voice will calm the markets. Or if things go south, he can take it to the banks Wanted style and shoot them from moving trains. And we shouldn't worry about him not fully understanding the economy. None of the other central bankers do either.

  25. Posted by rahodeb | January 22, 2010 at 9:33 AM

    John Mackey

  26. Posted by guest | January 22, 2010 at 9:37 AM

    Maxine Waters

  27. Posted by guest | January 22, 2010 at 9:41 AM

    The Gorilla, Naturally! Let him do for the government what he did for Lehman. That'll resolve everything!
    Also, John Mack can barely contain himself to jumping up and down like a three year old girl screaming "Pick Me! Pick Me!". Ain't happening John. I put the kabbash on it!

  28. Posted by guest | January 22, 2010 at 9:42 AM

    Are the rumors about Meredeth Whitney, room clearing dumps, and taking over for the Beard true?

  29. Posted by Braverman | January 22, 2010 at 9:46 AM

    It's been Larry Summers' job all along. He's the next Fed chief, and has been since Obama was elected. Bernanke never had a chance at re-appointment.

  30. Posted by ExtraordinaryPopular | January 22, 2010 at 9:52 AM

    The one-armed man.

  31. Posted by guest | January 22, 2010 at 9:53 AM

    I hear Conan O'Brien is looking for work. I guess some in Congress might object to his non-retention bonus though.

  32. Posted by guest | January 22, 2010 at 9:53 AM

    Well, if the proposed legislation doesn't pass Congress, he could always just appoint Kohn who would do the same things without needing congressional approval…

  33. Posted by guest | January 22, 2010 at 9:54 AM

    Harrison Ford
    HE ALREADY WORKS AROUND THE CLOCK!

  34. Posted by guest | January 22, 2010 at 9:59 AM

    @33 – GET OFF MY PLANE

  35. Posted by guest | January 22, 2010 at 10:06 AM

    @15: You mean Rick Moranis as the accountant in Ghostbusters, right? He was, after all, the Keymaster.

  36. Posted by guest | January 22, 2010 at 10:11 AM

    @33/34 he also hates Nazis, so clearly anyone who opposes him must be a Nazi sympathizer

  37. Posted by volatilitysmile | January 22, 2010 at 10:22 AM

    Jos A. Bank? I had my assistant replace the Vattene labels, and you bought it…

  38. Posted by NakedShort | January 22, 2010 at 10:27 AM

    We need to split up the power here. I nominate the brothers of ΛΛΛ and the sisters of ΩΜ.
    We're Lambda Lambda Lambda and Omega Mu. We come here to the Senate Confirmation Hearing tonight to do our show for you. We got rockin' economic models and a hi-tech quant background that'll make you move your body down to the ground. We got Poindexter at the discount window, and Lewis and Gilbert will be joining in. We got Booger Presley, a currency swap rising star and a rap by little ol' me Lamar. We got Takashi beating on the Fed Funds Rate, the boys and the Mu's are going to make this crisis abate. And just when you thought, ya seen it all, along comes a Lambda four foot tall. So Wormser come on out here with the illiquid holdings, so we can do away with esoteric Fed Statement wordings. Break!

  39. Posted by NakedShort | January 22, 2010 at 10:32 AM

    MOTHERFUCKER that line with Poindexter was supposed to read "We got Poindexter at the discount window, and Lewis and Gilbert assisting with the inflow."
    Is it time to drink yet?

  40. Posted by guest | January 22, 2010 at 10:34 AM

    Suze Orman!!! 'Cuz she will turn the place into the biggest Credit Union you'll ever see!

  41. Posted by CoveredLong | January 22, 2010 at 10:38 AM

    @39/NS – One thread up, post #18…I like where your head's at.
    …and soon, very soon.

  42. Posted by Anal_yst | January 22, 2010 at 11:27 AM
  43. Posted by guest | January 22, 2010 at 11:38 AM

    HUGO CHAVEZ

  44. Posted by Paul Volcker | January 22, 2010 at 11:52 AM

    @44 I like the cut of your jib.

  45. Posted by guest | January 22, 2010 at 2:11 PM

    clearly SPODE

  46. Posted by guest | January 22, 2010 at 6:54 PM

    The Situation

  47. Posted by guest | January 22, 2010 at 10:54 PM

    The Situation

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