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$$$ Gatorade drops Tiger Woods [WSJ]
$$$ Another Madoff Defendant From the Fringes [Dealbook]
$$$ A new way to buy and sell ideas. [The Atlantic]
$$$ Are the Feds getting closer to nailing NIR Group for stock kickback scheme? [CTNews]
$$$ Petra sets record, sells diamond for $35 million [Reuters]
$$$ Utah Developer Provides A Real Rustic Experience® For Finance Types [Daily Intel]
No, he didn’t take a salary or bonus last year, which chafes. But don’t cry Strawberry Hill tears for Boone’s Boy just yet. ‘Cause there’s this:
Former Bank of America CEO Ken Lewis received…$32,171 in 2009 as the bank struggled with loan losses and repaid billions in federal bailout money, according to an Associated Press analysis of a regulatory filing.
Friday’s filing shows that Lewis received no salary or bonus. His compensation was limited to perks including tax services and parking.
Team Citi can’t keep track of its own money, but they will track yours and that of your neighbor, thanks to the Bundle, which “removes the veil of secrecy from how other people save and spend their money.” For example, you can learn that “Singles, 36- to 49-year-olds in Dallas spend $57 per month on hobbies. Who knew?” The main argument is that “being privy to the financial habits of others helps guide a person’s own activity.” What? Okay no but seriously– WTF?
As of Wednesday, Jamie Dimon couldn’t fly through Atlanta, because he was at risk of being arrested, for illegally dumping used tires, according to CBS news. Apparently, though, ha ha, it was just a bit of a mix up.
As you’re aware, Governor Paterson won’t seek reelection ’cause of a few little bombshells in the Times. So Mr. P is having a press conference at 3 and we’re hoping he’s going to announce a Spitzer involvement in some capacity (as we wrote last week, the Gov has been asking Spitzer to “advise” him on several matters). Any ideas how?
The other day we mentioned that RBS had been granted permission to give out bonuses, though casually suggested the sums wouldn’t be anything to write home about, unless you’re into subordinated debt, in which case, buckle up. There’ve been a few stories out about how the numbers were actually pretty okay, and while Bambi at Beamers is yet to mention anything about her favorite Stamfordians making it rain, at least for the chippies across the pond it seems like the Queen’s bitches might not have fared to badly.
On the day when Royal Bank Of Scotland announced it was handing out £1.6 billion in bonuses, a mystery banker ran up a bar bill of almost £44,000 at Mayfair club Aura. He was with five friends as they splashed thousands on Cristal champagne in just two and a half hours.
As you know, AIG’s fourth quarter results came in– not so good!. In any case, Bobby B. is happy and wants the world to know it. AIG reported a loss of $8.9 billion in the fourth quarter, which is an improvement from the $61.7 billion loss in the year-ago period. And this, my friends, is making Bobby “proud” and he wants to thank you. Yes you, all of you. He “appreciates the support of the people in this country.” Bobby is also very thankful to have such wonderful employees. Employees, who not only work at the most despised company, but who do so “with commitment and enthusiasm.” He’s “very impressed with their attitude and the willingness to roll up their sleeves and make things happen.”
Also, he’s got a plan.
Senator Chuck Grassley would like Lloyd Blankfein to please stand up, leave his nuclear balls behind and explain what the deal is with the ad Goldman placed in Politico about being “one of the principal underwriters of the “Build America Bonds” program.
Specifically, Grassley is interested in finding out whether “the big Wall Street investment banks being so involved in, and profiting from, the Build America Bonds program siphons off a lot of taxpayer dollars that are meant to help cities and states.”
Bloomberg Markets magazine has a long profile on SAC Capital today, and the grand poobah who runs the place, Stevie C. For those of you who’ve never had the pleasure of working for the king, here’s a bit of a primer.
* For the serious neophytes, who should be ashamed of themselves for not knowing the big man’s likes and dislikes: “He doesn’t like noise, so the phones on the floor don’t ring; they light up.” Make one move, one audible squeak that disturbs him, be it a hiccup or moan of ecstasy at the hand of a whiteboard marker and you’re out of there.
* Don’t forget your fleece (“Cohen maintains the temperature on the trading floor at 69 degrees Fahrenheit (21 degrees Celsius) to make sure no one dozes”) though in all seriousness, I’d slay a newborn if one of you would offer yourselves up as a test to see what exactly would happen were you caught sleeping on the floor during the course of a trading day. For extra points, make your snoring audible about 15 minutes from the close, and once he approaches your desk, open your eyes like he just woke you up and go “I’m tired baby what are you doing?” then roll over and close your eyes again. Oh, someone please do this. Berkowitz, I know you don’t sit on the floor, but please, take one for the team.
* If you don’t know your shit, you are gonna get called out. Simple as that: “If a portfolio manager or analyst can’t answer a question about a stock, Cohen is likely to lash out. ‘Do you even know how to do this f—ing job?’ is a standard barb, current and former employees say.” I see nothing wrong with this.***
* And guess what, fucksticks? You’re not the only ones who will get the horns if you mess with this bull. Remember this? What the short clip didn’t include was what happened later in the show: “Cohen…spars with a man in a muscle shirt in the audience after admitting he slept with his ex-wife while courting Alexandra.”
* Okay, but enough about how you’re going to get your ass stomped inside out for being an idiot or audibly breathing, which you’ll have probably deserved. Working at SAC can be really fun too. Like a Saturday night at the Laugh Factory: “The boss has a sense of humor that’s dry, along the lines of Jerry Seinfeld, former employees say. In September 2008, before Lehman’s bankruptcy, Cohen sent a companywide e-mail: It’s all up to the government now. I have no idea what will happen. Good luck to you all. This is a recording.” (Also: the “Steve-isms.” Oh that you should one day have the “Steve-isms” in your life.)
AIG reports $8.9 bln quarterly net loss (MarketWatch)
AIG Chief Executive Robert Benmoshe said the insurer is making “significant strides” toward selling two big businesses, American International Assurance Company, Ltd. and American Life Insurance Company.
Blonde captures attention at TZ Ltd bail-out (SMH)
“The room was sealed from prying eyes and shareholders were safely ensconced in front of the chairman when the leggy blonde sashayed up the hallway. Shari-Lea Hitchcock, the mistress of the late billionaire Dick Pratt, arrived fashionably late in black miniskirt and high heels to the bail-out meeting of the tech tiddler TZ Ltd, upstaging even the celebrity chairman and reality TV star of The Apprentice, Mark Bouris.”
On Wall Street, Romancing The (Curling) Stone (Dealbook)
Raj Atri, a research analyst at Bank of America, said the game’s plodding pace was a plus. Curling is so leisurely that he can easily multitask, with one eye on his Bloomberg terminal and another a game.
Merrill Lynch Guaranteed Ford Annual Pay of at Least $2 Million (NYT)
His guaranteed pay was twice that of the Merrill Lynch chief executive who hired him, E. Stanley O’Neal.
$$$ A little more info on the changes at Pirate/Captain Jack/Doubloon Capital we’ve been writing about. [WSJ]
$$$ Bonus Watch: RBS [Guardian]
$$$ The Street’s jobless recovery [Reuters]
$$$ Jon Corzine To CNBC? [HuffPo]
