fatnlittle.jpgLiterally, and not like, as a metaphor for the markets repeatedly slamming his nuts in a drawer. From today’s Sex Diary:

B, the CEO of a bank, likes for me to kick him repeatedly in the testicles. I threaten him with my two pink dildos, Fat Man and Little Boy. Sometimes I’m disturbed by the ease with which I perform acts of such egregious violence. He calls what we do making love.


If we’re going with the initial alone, we’ve got Brian Moynihan and Lloyd Blankfein, though I don’t think the former is much for kink and LB strikes me as someone who just likes them squeezed a little. Bob Kelly is also a possibility. ‘B’ could also refer to a nickname, like boo or something, which thankfully allows us to cast a wider net as I think Vikram should be considered. Give us your best guess, and in the meantime, I’m going to contact Andrew Ross Sorkin, who knows these guys better than anyone, to see who he thinks it is.

Comments (53)

  1. Posted by guest | February 8, 2010 at 2:11 PM

    LB for sure.

  2. Posted by guest | February 8, 2010 at 2:11 PM

    And I thought wanting to be repeatedly kicked in the testicles was a prerequisite for being a Bank CEO – silly me.

  3. Posted by guest | February 8, 2010 at 2:12 PM

    ground floor of EPIC thread
    -PD not working 2/8/09-

  4. Posted by guest | February 8, 2010 at 2:13 PM

    does Bob Saget have a new job?

  5. Posted by guest | February 8, 2010 at 2:13 PM

    “Threatened by two dildos…..”
    Made me think about poor Ken Lewis.

  6. Posted by guest | February 8, 2010 at 2:15 PM

    I thought all CEOs like a kick in the balls. Isnt that why they took the job?
    -LB

  7. Posted by guest | February 8, 2010 at 2:15 PM

    amazing

  8. Posted by guest | February 8, 2010 at 2:16 PM

    I got threatened by two dildos once. But it was my birthday and i can do what I wan to do.
    -B. Frank

  9. Posted by guest | February 8, 2010 at 2:19 PM

    “We make out in the back of a taxi…I’m thoroughly enjoying myself until he pulls away, brushes a lock of hair from my eyes, and whispers, “You taste like sea bass.“”

  10. Posted by guest | February 8, 2010 at 2:20 PM

    jeff gundlach

  11. Posted by guest | February 8, 2010 at 2:20 PM

    B for Boone’s?

  12. Posted by american bandersnatch | February 8, 2010 at 2:21 PM

    “I threaten him with my two pink dildos, Fat Man and Little Boy” – Clearly the CEO of a Japanese bank.

  13. Posted by guest | February 8, 2010 at 2:22 PM

    @13 they’re her dildos (hence her nicknames for them), not his.

  14. Posted by guest | February 8, 2010 at 2:23 PM

    @12 was thinkin the same thing

  15. Posted by guest | February 8, 2010 at 2:24 PM

    b for biff

  16. Posted by guest | February 8, 2010 at 2:27 PM

    that picture. my new background. boom. done.
    -PJ

  17. Posted by gareth thomas | February 8, 2010 at 2:30 PM

    they meet at mandarin oriental–isnt that b of a’s corp apt location? gotta be moynihan, the rugby stud

  18. Posted by guest | February 8, 2010 at 2:30 PM

    Bess. Please get something on the record about this from ARS.

  19. Posted by guest | February 8, 2010 at 2:30 PM

    Sheila Bair

  20. Posted by guest | February 8, 2010 at 2:33 PM

    4:30 pm…..I get a call from “Ship Channel”, a trader here in Houston. He asks me to meet him at La Griglia. He pronounces it “La- Grig-lee-ah”. He comes from Tyler, TX, and that explains that. He orders expensive drinks and food. He checks frequently to see if anyone is looking at us like we are celebrities. He uses his company credit card to pay. Outside in his car he asks me to pull his finger. $500 later and I do. It sounds like someone clearing a one-note tuba on a bathtub’s floor. He laughs uncontrollably and calls a former co-worker. They laugh uncontrollably together. “It smells like the Ship Channel in here!” he laughs. I want to meet an electricity trader so bad.

  21. Posted by guest | February 8, 2010 at 2:34 PM

    So this isn’t normal behavior?

  22. Posted by guest | February 8, 2010 at 2:40 PM

    I like my dildos to look a little more like Crayola markers.
    Jing Piang

  23. Posted by guest | February 8, 2010 at 2:42 PM

    I’m sure she is talking about a commercial bank and not the head of the Federal Reserve Banks…errr…System.
    B.B.

  24. Posted by guest | February 8, 2010 at 2:42 PM

    @18 excellent work

  25. Posted by guest | February 8, 2010 at 2:43 PM

    @14…..I think you may have missed a World War 2 reference embedded in the bon mot by American Bandersnatch. Please Google “Fat Man and Little Boy” for further information. Probably best not to ask a Japanese banker/trader about those names at this time.
    ~The Joke Briefer

  26. Posted by Pfluger the Barbarian | February 8, 2010 at 2:43 PM

    By the way, I drive a Saturn Ion, ya know.
    -cg

  27. Posted by guest | February 8, 2010 at 2:45 PM

    Sarah Bernett

  28. Posted by guest | February 8, 2010 at 2:47 PM

    Bess, what would be your preference?

  29. Posted by guest | February 8, 2010 at 2:52 PM

    “Fat Man” was possibly named after Winston Churchill,[2] though Robert Serber said in his memoirs that as the “Fat Man” bomb was round and fat, he named it after Sydney Greenstreet’s character of “Kasper Gutman” in The Maltese Falcon. The design of “Fat Man” nuclear assembly was substantially the same as “the gadget” detonated at the Trinity test in July 1945.
    ****************
    Another Dashiell Hammett reference in DB’s stream of consciousness today! How literary we all are!

  30. Posted by american bandersnatch | February 8, 2010 at 2:52 PM

    @26 – I’m sure you get this all the time but “Thanks JB”.

  31. Posted by guest | February 8, 2010 at 2:54 PM

    “Sometimes I’m disturbed by the ease with which I perform acts of such egregious violence. ”
    pussy.
    -dollar dom

  32. Posted by guest | February 8, 2010 at 2:59 PM

    Fat Man and Little Boy – Newest mascots of the Tube Worm exhibit at SeaWorld

  33. Posted by Anal_yst | February 8, 2010 at 3:06 PM

    Bernanke?

  34. Posted by guest | February 8, 2010 at 3:09 PM

    definitely moynihan. bofa corporate apt in time warner center, met at mandarin oriental.

  35. Posted by guest | February 8, 2010 at 3:11 PM

    Isn’t Gorman from Brisbane?

  36. Posted by guest | February 8, 2010 at 3:11 PM

    I named my two dildos, Dylan Ratigan and Fluffy.
    -Dennis Kneale

  37. Posted by guest | February 8, 2010 at 3:31 PM

    bitch got it wrong. fat man and little boy are the names of my balls.
    -b

  38. Posted by guest | February 8, 2010 at 3:51 PM

    People on my floor keep shitting on my desk. Are they trying to tell me something?

  39. Posted by guest | February 8, 2010 at 3:56 PM

    it was me!!!!!
    - ben bernanke

  40. Posted by guest | February 8, 2010 at 4:27 PM

    @21 Need more Houston finance sex diaries. Please. Please.

  41. Posted by guest | February 8, 2010 at 4:29 PM

    @21 – epic. “One note tuba…” hahaha

  42. Posted by guest | February 8, 2010 at 4:41 PM

    MW tag = hilarious

  43. Posted by guest | February 8, 2010 at 6:38 PM

    Bess,
    DB would be more interesting if you post some blind items i.e Wall Street personalities,financial TV anchors and politicians liasons with WStreet.

  44. Posted by guest | February 8, 2010 at 7:00 PM

    Obviously Bob Diamond.

  45. Posted by guest | February 8, 2010 at 9:48 PM

    Not Brian Moynihan. Moynihan earned his Law Degree at Notre Dame. Everyone knows there are no gays at Notre Dame.
    -Fr.Imadinthehead

  46. Posted by guest | February 8, 2010 at 10:38 PM

    genius@46- the item was written from the perspective of a woman, i.e. the ceo was getting kicked in the balls by a chick. that = straight.

  47. Posted by guest | February 8, 2010 at 11:26 PM

    @46, actually there are gays at Notre Dame. Weaned on the sacrament, those preppy Catholic boys give even better head than right-wing Republicans.

  48. Posted by ExtraordinaryPopularDelusions | February 8, 2010 at 11:53 PM

    what, no DE Shaw comment yet?

  49. Posted by guest | February 9, 2010 at 6:07 AM

    @49/EPD these days if you try to kick David in the balls you might lose your shoe.

  50. Posted by guest | February 9, 2010 at 11:17 AM

    @21,41,42. Somehow a comment from DB last week fits your posts…
    “Easily, you see she is ivy league and you are cosmetology school…”
    Little gumbo between those traders ears?

  51. Posted by guest | February 9, 2010 at 11:19 AM

    @51…WTF was that post all about?

  52. Posted by ARS | February 12, 2010 at 11:21 AM

    Went to cornell w/ this chump. Brought his dooshie laptop everywhere. Pretty sure he was celibate for @ least frosh/soph yrs. Not sure if it was by choice.

  53. Posted by Gundlach | February 12, 2010 at 11:36 AM

    While these actions will no doubt be subjects of litigation, suffice it to say that I had every expectation of privacy in these spaces, which stored vestiges of closed chapters of my life.

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