The kittens were safe. The first-years had completed the safety seminar on how to operate their nuclear-powered testicles (there are special washing instructions). The clients were front-run. The ignoramuses, bitch-slapped. With everything in order at the House of Goldman Sachs, and with an opening in his schedule, Lloyd Blankfein apparently finally found the time the other night to check off a task he hasn’t been able to line-out on his To Do list for a while: improve Israeli-Palestinian relations. Sure, sure, it seems like kind of an insurmountable task, given how the two sides have gotten along, historically, but this is LB we’re talking about, and you’d be hard-pressed to find two groups, no matter how bitterly they’ve fought and disagreed in the past, who would deny a common appreciation for that gorgeous pate. That’s all it takes.
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if anyone can get it done it’s LB.
Which side do you think he’s on?
@2 whichever one gives the best rim jobs?
@3 that’s always my rule.
-PJ
lvp really would say ignoramuses (as opposed to idiots).
nice marmot
LB for Jew Prime Minister! He is the coolest Hebro since Hitler’s grandpa
Is it rude to feltch during a peace negotiation?
Dennis Kneale, Collie Ambassador
Im sure all of the terrorists were truly touched that Satan imself decided to make a personal appearance….
@7 uh…what?
So even Lloyd needs a good excuse to blow off dinner with BHO.
@9 we were!
@11 bho dinner was last night. this was two nights ago.
I can’t offer you 72 virgins. What we CAN do is offer you a AAA-rated VBS. That’s right, a Virgin-Backed Security. There will be three tranches, with the top-rated virgins (not exactly the hottest ones, but the most willing to pop their cherries with you, and only you) paying out there virginity to you almost risk-free. The next tranche will remain virgins for you so long as there are no incredible opportunities (Pitt, Clooney, etc.), and then the equity tranche will be the hottest of the hot – chicks who have the highest risk of losing their virginity prior to the dividend date, but if they stay virgins until then, you get to bang them. Goldman Sachs will then buy Virgin Default Swaps with Israel as the counterparty. If you give Israel problems, we keep your money, and we fuck the virgins ourselves. Boom. Done.
@14,bravo. Hysterical, FTW
Max Wat is back! I’m so excited right now.
@14 + 1
@14 good work soldier
A fatwah has been issued against 14.
-Allah
Props to @14!
~The Joke Briefer
Fadeaway 3 at the buzzer for @14
Where is Anal_yst on all this? I’ve been following his comments on clusterstock and his new blog http://www.stonestreetadvisors.com is a breath of fresh air in the fetid miasma of 20-something BSD wannabe analysts with a sense of entitlement but an utter lack of any discernible intellect.
-Jeff Macke
@13 Mr. Blankfein departed Israel yesterday after a 24 hour visit.
He did not attend last night’s dinner.
-11/IG
Early prediction of @14 for CotD
@14 tip of the hat sir!
I’d like to be the servicer of these new VBS transactions. I will personally handle all the flows.
@14, Might be interested if you could diversify the portfolio to include a mix of say, 24 virgins, 24 porn stars, 12 British socialites, and 12 young boys?
Shokran,
- Bandy Bandar
when the joke briefer approves, it has to be good. bravo @14, your ability to create innovative structures has put you on the fast track to make partner.
How can I get in on this VBS action which #14 talks about? Seems like easy honey to me.
~AIG quant
@14 FTMFW!
Now USA should extend full military support to Palestine.
Whichever side LB’s on (Israel, the Pals, or world peace) you can goddamn take it to the bank that he’s selling it hard *and* has bought plenty of insurance in case of default.
Lloyd shot first.
-Dubai
@14 good shit
Good Lloyd, if you are disturbing the peace, I have a piece you can disturb.
I am going to create a new fund at BSAM to buy these VBS – in SIZE.
-r. cioffi
@35 since the supply of underlying may be insufficient for you to get into your position, could I interest you in cash-settled Synthetic Tranche Derivatives as well? With 2x-leverage you can double up your exposure
@ 36 – do you recommend the XX or the XY tranche?
I only assume the author of 14 is the Head of Structured Products at HBCP.