Earlier this morning we mentioned a story by the Sunday Times which claimed, according to “bankers at Davos,” that Lloyd Blankfein would be taking home a $100 million bonus this year. We asked Goldman Sachs spokesman Lucas Van Praag for his thoughts on the report. His short answer, via Larry Summers, can be found here. And the slightly longer version:
“There’s speculation, and there is stupidity. This speculation transcends the simply stupid and takes it to an entirely new level.”
'take a bow/blow a goat/go fuck yourselves/same diff no diff' tag ftw
LvP = best spokesman ever
Even through their PR mouthpiece, GS comes across as arrogant.
Nobody is going to help Caesar now
stupid is as stupid does.
@1 did someone say blow a goat?!!?
-DK
@2: agreed. He should have his own reality show.
I cannot believe they publish such effluent on these internets. All these gossip-mongers must be drawn and quartered.
@2
Agreed. I bet his actual bonus will 'round to zero'
you gotta love GS… Numbers were told to staff this past tuesday and no one is talking. P.S. MD's got 30% in deferred stock and everyone else was on a sliding scale down… oh yeah GS gave the big FU to Obama… i love it!!!
It's sad, but when Lloyd goes LvP will go with him. LvP is slated to be replaced by Baghdad Bob.
http://politicalhumor.about.com/library/jokes/blj...
"We will welcome them with bullets and shoes."
LvP should definitely get a $100mm bonus, guy's earned it, no?
I heard LB tried to buy all of today's WSJ printing just to quash this silly story.
Who would have believed this rumor anyway? We all know he's getting $200M.
@12 say something funny next time you comment.
$100mm is enough to rescue all the stray cats in America, and I'm sure that is precisely what LB intends to do.
It would be so nice just to curl up on the sofa with "The Notebook" and a pint of Häagen-Dazs.
You may be able to pull this bonus thing off. You may not. But that doesn't matter, Lloyd. What matters is that we're here. Look around. Who ever thought we'd make it this far after becoming a naked Bank Holding Company and taking TARP. 1 2 3 Triple Deke. Take your best shot. I believe in you, Lloyd. Win or lose.
Can we start a consolidated list of LvP's greatest hits? This guy is amazing
Goldman truly is terrible at PR…Lloyd stinks in interviews and their pr guy can't spin anything to save his life.
@15– nearly there. The $100mm will be paid to the Lloyd Blankfein Charitable Foundation, where LB is the sole trustee and whose stated mission is "strenghten the every day living of the Blankfein family to meet the challenges of global interdependence." similar to the much vaunted Clinton Foundation's mission to "strengthen the capacity of people throughout the world to meet the challenges of global interdependence."
NS/17,
Have you guys ever seen a flock of Scrots moving through Marquee, after hours? It's beautiful. Pretty awesome the way they all blow lines together. Scrots never say, "No, I've had too much." Ever seen a Scrot fight? No way. Why? Because their hands are each worth (BITDA) 6.72MM. They know that if they mess with one Scrot, they gotta deal with the inevitable lawsuit. I'm proud to be a Scrot, and I'd be proud to club with any one of you. So how about it? Who's a Scrot?
@LA/21 Ill see your Mighty Ducks and raise you the Breakfast Club.
Barry O: That's the last time, Blankfein. That the last time you ever make me look bad in front of the angry mobs, you hear me? I make $400,000 a year and I have a future as an overpaid corporate speaker once my one term is up and I'm not about to throw it all away on some punk like you. But someday when you've retired with your millions and you've forgotten all about the global financial meltdown and taxpayer bailout and they've forgotten all about you, and you're wrapped up in your own pathetic life, I'm gonna be there. That's right. And I'm gonna kick the living shit out of you. I'm gonna knock your dick in the dirt.
Lloyd: You threatening me?
Barry O: What are you gonna do about it? You think anyone's gonna believe you? You think anyone is gonna take your word over mine? I'm a man of hope and change around here. Americans love me. I'm a swell guy that can speak in a negro dialect if needed. You're a greedy sack of shit and everybody knows it. Oh, you're a tough guy. Hey c'mon. Get on your feet pal. Let's find out how tough you are. I wanna know right now how tough you are. Just take the first shot. I'm begging you, take a shot. Just one hit. Come on, that's all I need, just one swing.That's what I thought. You're a gutless turd.
Can you here that? It's the sound of me getting richer.
-LB
NS/22,
Oh, you wanna go there?
LB: Well, fuck me gently with a chainsaw. Do I look like Mother Theresa?
Wow, I can see I'm in the presence of greatness here, please, more, more!
Other famous LvP "comments" that didn't make it past the in-house censors:
Re: Goldman's efforts in the financial crisis—–"Wish for better times in one hand and put BofA stock in the other. See which fills up faster…"
Re: The Lehman problem—–"Sympathy is a word that comes between "Shit and syphillis" in the dictionary."
Re: The "Golden scrotum" comments—-"They're not gold; they're gold leaf…"
Re: Tiger Woods problems—"Our guys go in a bathroom with Sports Illustrated when we get that revved up…."
Re: On Moody's and S&P—-"Pants on the ground, pants on the ground, looking like a fool with pants on the ground; Hat turned sideways, gold in your mouth, looking like a fool with your pants on the ground…"
20mil/50mil/100mil confirmed
Boom done
Why is no one posting bonus numbers from GS? Is there a firm-wide request that this be kept under wraps?
[...] bang it with Viniar’s yonce”? Was it a deal wouldn’t dip your wick in? Perhaps an effluent deal? Or maybe it was RB-esque? See, it’s not that hard, and actually kind of fun. Now you [...]