Jamie Dimon is the most-loved CEO on Wall Street. There’s no debating that. Obama loves him, the press loves him, tweens love him, we love him. He’s devastatingly charming, handsome, and smart. He’s got integrity oozing out of every orifice. He’s funny. Good at basketball. He can fix things around the house. The list goes on. There is one thing you don’t know about JD, though. Despite having a pretty jam-packed schedule, what with his job running a multi-billion dollar corporation and beating men, women and children off with a stick, he’s somehow found the time to fit in bi-weekly runs to Atlanta. To dump used tires. Illegally. According to City Solicitor Raines Carter. Who’s issued a warrant for Jamie’s arrest.
Atlanta City Solicitor Raines Carter told CBS Atlanta News that the city has issued an arrest warrant for the person they believe is responsible for an illegal tire dump located at 1462 Memorial Drive. “We have filed a citation against this entity and it is our intention to prosecute this entity in court for that violation,” said Carter.
The city solicitor said a bank executive in New York is the person responsible for cleaning up the hundreds of tires that are piled up on the property. The arrest citation names James Dimon as the responsible person. He’s the CEO of JPMorgan Chase Bank.
“It is certainly our intention for him to be aware of this because we want something done about this as soon as possible,” said Carter
Yeah! How they gonna make JD “aware” of this? Meeting him at the gate Hartsfield-Jackson between connecting flights and slapping cuffs on his ass, that’s how! Then sentencing him to community service, Boy George-style. That’ll send a message.
Did anyone check the #2 orifice to sample the integrity he has down there?
true off-balance-sheet accounting, from the streets
Take off its mask and you will find Maxine Waters underneath !!
Take off its mask and you will find Maxine Waters underneath !!
“By the way,” I can relate to JD, ex-specially da part about him being devastatingly charming, handsome, smart, and wit integrity oozing out of every orifice. I shit wisdom, ya know.
- The Thug
Looks like Jamie smells something fowl. Is Paulson nearby?
Oh, and he also looks so regal in that pic… Should make Tax Chicka all hot and bothered.
If he’s going to be arrested for anything, its for: “beating men, women and children off”
I have it on good authority that Jamie can also be connected to the Gowanus Canal’s clap sitch.
http://therealdeal.com/newyork/articles/clap-trap-gonorrhea-in-the-gowanus
@6
*foul
Not funny. Try again.
50/50 on “fowl” being a typo or reference to bird watching
Did I ever tell you about the time Jamie took me out to go get a drink with him? We go off looking for a bar and we can’t find one. Finally JD takes me to a vacant lot and says, ‘Here we are.’ We sat there for a year and a half and sure enough someone constructs a bar around us. The day they opened we ordered a shot, drank it, and then burned the place to the ground. Jamie yelled over the roar of the flames, ‘Always leave things the way you found em!’
@10 Where’s the Joke Briefer when you need him?
-9
Jamie Dimon? Integrity? Please.
@12
oops.
-9 = -6
Jamie Dimon? Integrity? Please.
What we’ve got here is a failure to communicate…
@13 I think there are a lot of Bear guys and gal’s that have a lot to say about JD’s integrity.
- not a Bear cub
Bess, I’m on to you, trying to turn us all gay. The one thing I don’t get is: why?
“devastatingly charming, handsome, and smart. He’s got integrity oozing out of every orifice. He’s funny. Good at basketball. He can fix things around the house.”
are we to infer these are the things bl looks for in a man?
@19 besides the part about b-ball (pretty sure she’s a hockey fan), yes.
@ 18 – she likes to spice it up, occasionally? Or, even better, she would like to make us bat for the other team, and then, being a preeminent woman, will get us straightened up (hat tip, Missis Falcone)?
JD: Smell my fingers. Seriously. Smell them. I totally finger banged LB last night.
They are “treading” on thin ice with that tire warrant. JD might get “black-walled” in the industry. And he was on his way to having a “Goodyear”.
What we’ve got here is a failure to communicate…
@23 not bad.
total rim job.
Ok, so because Chase apparently owns the property upon which said tires are/have-been dumped, and because the chase branch didn’t respond to the Solicitor, they decided to issue a warrant for the f*cking CEO of one of the biggest companies in the world?
Facepalm…
@6 – Regal?! He looks like he just caught a wiff of LB’s nuclear scrot or Vickles day old curry.
Anal_yst@27: yes, but want to bet those tires are gone in a week?
I sort of applaud the Atlanta sanitation dept or whoever on this one–they know bankers are currently terrified of bad publicity.
@7,
No doubt. Beating off men and women is one thing, but children too? Come on Jamie, that’s appalling.
@27: I think it’s pretty genius actually.
But I’m sure the buck stops with….Dimon’s team of lawyers.
Jamie Dimon? Integrity? Please.
Jamie Dimon? Integrity? Please.
Jamie Dimon? Integrity? Please.
And while he’s down there he can pick up some other items just laying around, SNV & STI
he’s definitely trying to get one of his own pubes out from being stuck between his teeth after BHO gave him an unexpected snowball at dinner the other night
he’s definitely trying to get one of his own pubes out from being stuck between his teeth after BHO gave him an unexpected snowball at dinner the other night
he’s definitely trying to get one of his own pubes out from being stuck between his teeth after BHO gave him an unexpected snowball at dinner the other night
he’s definitely trying to get one of his own pubes out from being stuck between his teeth after BHO gave him an unexpected snowball at dinner the other night
My daughter hangs a full sized picture of him above her bed. Bess, do I know you?
I’m so tired of watching people spin their wheels on pointless issues like this…they need to get some traction and start moving in a positive direction.
…and yes I can totally see Maxine Waters come and try to rubber nose in this matter.
Let’s just hope this case doesn’t turn into a (toyo) proxy battle.
Why hasnt Phil LeBeau weighed in on this issue yet?
As we speak, he is hatching a nefarious plan to screw all of your girlfriends in an extremely uncomfortable place…
@43 Tax Court?
I hear timmay got into vogue by flashing his tampons. Keep pouting and you’ll make it too, buddy.
Could someone ring up Arlo Guthrie? This thing is delivered, wrapped in a bow for him.
Well played @41!!
and he has a big dick.
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[...] failed to notice, Jamie Dimon is a winner and he will not be made a fool (I’m looking at you Atlanta prosecutors). He accepted this speaking engagement on the condition that he would be addressing champions. [...]
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