JPMorgan just sent out a memo to employees notifying them that in the event the snowpocalypse is really bad, they can reserve cots to stay over. And if they run out, Jamie Dimon will be happy to take people into his home, located not far from headquarters. TAKE ADVANTAGE OF THE OFFER.
JPMORGAN — MEMORANDUM
*** Please distribute to all affected employees within your LOBs/Corporate Support Groups ***
Informational Details: Update #5
February 9, 2010 at 4:30 PM ET
At the following locations facilities will have emergency cots set up for employee usage. Each of these facilities will have 100 cots for males and 100 cots for females. Employees expecting to utilize these cots must contact Facilities Direct (xxx-xxx-xxxx) so that facilities can obtain a proper headcount.
270 Park Avenue
New York, NY
Males: 2nd floor cafeteria (47th Street side)
Females: 11th floor conference rooms D & F (please use mid or high-rise elevators)
1 Chase Manhattan Plaza
New York, NY
Auditorium will be partitioned to separate males and females
3 Chase Metrotech Cente
Brooklyn, NY
Males: Room 225
Females: Room 201
575 Washington Boulevard
Jersey City, NJ
Males: 3rd floor conference rooms 305, 306 & 30
Females: 3rd floor conference rooms 302, 303 & 304
Employees who would like to request a cot for their office can do so by contacting Facilities Direct. Facilities will attempt to accommodate all requests.
PLEASE NOTE: There are no showers available at these locations.
Here Are Some Thoughts On Men And Wall Street
Jerk Running Ferry To Fire Island Not Up On The Celebs Of Financial Reform
Only the hottest woman at the firm are allowed at my house
All the best,
Jamie
JD!
Already made arrangements with the blonde at the office. she’s 58, had 3 kids, and full of spare room (zing?)
Thank you jamie.
If ever a memo deserved wokka-style guitar accompniment, this is that freaky memo.
Aw, yeah.
Will golden showers be available at these locations?
PJ
Just gimmie two hots and cott and I will make the deal happen…
Any good analyst already a camping cot under the cube ready to go
“Auditorium will be partitioned to separate males and females”
Damn.
males and females separated? lame.
what self respecting banker doesn’t have a pied-à-terre? so much for “fat cats”…
Yeah, and you can tell GOB I’ve got a nice hard cot down here for him too…No, I said ‘cot.’
I’m at Club No Minors in Houston and looking at this webcam and I don’t see no blizzard.
http://www.earthcam.com/usa/newyork/timessquare/
I checked this weather radar page for Manhattan updates and it looks pretty clear to me. What’s up with all the fuss about the snow??
http://www.wunderground.com/US/KS/Manhattan.html
~AIG Quant
The truly motivated will establish their own coed rooms. There is no better excuse than a snow-in.
Not a single snow flake in downtown NYC still, Accuweather.com shows we’ve had hours of snow already on map, whoops?
It’s snowing heavily on Long Island.
jamie, my sexy darling: YES PLEASE.
@17 come here…
babies sleep in cots, adults (and especially fat assed yanks) are too big to sleep in cots. adults sleep in beds.
true dat “cots” sounds so lame
Flurries up here in CT. I guess I could have gone in to the office downtown, today. Oh well, let’s see what the late morning and afternoon bring.
As a Rice grad, all I can say is: Jesus. I wish I could say this is an outlier, but I’d be lying. Owls are, more often than not, giant weirdos.
People like Jeffrey Chiang and JP Morgan is what the subprime is in trouble.
do u think they will lock the soda coolers?
-Michael Moore
@23 VFN.
Maybe its the snow in DC, but The Kenyan has apparently withdrawn from the War on Wall Street Bonuses, announcing that Dimon and LB are “savvy,” and deserving of bonuses.
Let it snow!!
Oh and the mirror on my bedroom ceiling is to make the ummm room look bigger.
-JD
Not so much liking the new Web site design or is it just glitching because of the snow?
@28 the site looks exactly the same as it always has
Will Jimmy C. be providing some “refreshments” to help us relax under such stressful conditions?
@12, it’s never too early to take down those blue everclear ritas