So if you’ve been dying to sleep with a Master or Mistress of the Universe, and feel like you need a high concentration of them in one place in order to up your odds of scoring, knock on a bunch of doors at the Embassy Suites on Wall Street tonight. Eventually someone’s bound to let you in. Tell ‘em John Carney sent you.
Just Putting It Out There: There Are Goldman Sachs Employees Sleeping At The Hotel Located Near Goldman Sachs Tonight
By Bess Levin — Advertisement —
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- Use the Bloomberg command
NH BLG_DEALBREAKER <GO>
to access Dealbreaker
in my experience dropping the name john carney has the opposite effect of getting someone to sleep with you.
Embassy Suites = shithole.
just saw that @ clustersuck, high-quality journalism at its finest
Last time I told someone “John Carney sent me,” I encountered a landslide win in scrabble, her dog didn’t have dinner that night, I sprained my ankle, and she woke up pregnant.
BANKERS ADMIT TO SLEEPING AROUND
In various hotel rooms tonight due to inclement weather
-Business Insider Writer
@4/LA did you name the abortion after John?
Yaelie, I’ll be at the Ritz-Carlton. If you would put on a snuggie and warm my bed….
Is GS paying the hourly or daily rate?
can anyone figure out why BI/cluster is so lame? is it something in the water?
Goldman employees leave toxic assets in embassy suite bathrooms
Baseless insinuation – the Blankie army never sleeps.
Goldman gets shitier hotels than Jefferies
The last time I said, “John Carney sent me,” it resulted in a torn bag of Purina puppy chow, two empty jars of JIF, and a Collie that, unbeknownst to him, woke up with HPV.
-Dennis Kneale
Hey Bess, John Carney sent me and its snowing outside. What’dya say, Wanna spoon?
What is the over/under on hawks wearing red or blue pants?
Why is an investment banker like a snowstorm?
Because you don’t know when he’s coming, how many inches you’ll get, or how long it’ll stay that way.
A Goldman Sachs PhD natgas quant manages to get a room to himself during the blizzard. He has just settled in at about 1:00AM when he gets a call from his managing director. The MD says, “There is a great looking French lady banker here from SocGen and she has no place to stay and all the rooms are full but yours. We want her to share your room but you need to be “chivalrous”. The GS gas quant agrees and the French lady is shown to his hotel room. She doesn’t speak English and he doesn’t speak French. So, they sort of communicate by drawing pictures. After a while the French lady draws what appears to be a plate of food and a bottle of wine on Embasey Suite stationery. The gas quant says”Room service! Of course!’ and food and wine are ordered. Happily they watch TV and soon the French lady takes a hotel notepad and draws 3 bottles of wine on it. “More wine!! Of course!!” says the gas quant and 3 bottles are ordered. The wine is consumed as they watch “Mamma Mia” in the in-room cable TV.
As the movie ends, the gas trader goes to turn out the lights to go to bed but the French lady stops him. She takes a pen and on Embassey Suite stationery she writes the number “69 ?” with a question mark. She looks at him longingly, her breath quickening.
The gas trader looks at the note and then at her and says, “No, our model suggests a 151 BCF withdrawal on the EIA stats tomorrow.”
enjoy our nuts in chewy-suites!
-jr. asst. to the snickers ad manager
I walked into the lobby of the hotel and saw LB sitting at his typewriter writing this-
All work and no bonus makes LB a dull boy
All work and no bonus makes LB a dull boy
All work and no bonus makes LB a dull boy
All work and no bonus makes LB a dull boy
All work and no bonus makes LB a dull boy
All work and no bonus makes LB a dull boy
All work and no bonus makes LB a dull boy
All work and no bonus makes LB a dull boy
All work and no bonus makes LB a dull boy
All work and no bonus makes LB a dull boy
All work and no bonus makes LB a dull boy
All work and no bonus makes LB a dull boy
All work and no bonus makes LB a dull boy
All work and no bonus makes LB a dull boy
@17…
man, that was a long set up for a natgas gag.
@17/20 not just long but the punchline isn’t even right… gas quant would know that the # is delayed because the federal government is staffed by people afraid of snow
@19,,,give me the bat, Alice
@19,,,give me the bat, Alice
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@24-32 do you have anything you’d like to add? a comment maybe?
heheheh
this is ridiculously funny
I want a post by the guy who went on all the goldman interviews, that dude was hilarious
You do not even have to stay there to get a free continential breakfast – they do not check tickets
- Paid in shares
come on internet, the web-site tells you that aliens will assault earth in 2011 and that Mike Tyson is usually a pigeon fetish … Jean Cocteau said : “the drama of our time is that stupidness started out to think”