Macquarie Bank Miranda Kerr Enthusiast On A Time Out ‘Til Superiors Decide What To Do With Him

macquariedavidk.JPGSo! It seems that the Aussies at Macquarie were not as opened-minded as one would’ve hoped. David Kiely, the client investment manager who took a few ganders at Miranda Kerr yesterday while his floor was being filmed, has been “waiting at home” since the “incident” while his bosses, who “take matters such as the unacceptable use of technology extremely seriously,” deal with the matter internally.

But here’s rub: they’re obviously struggling with what to do with the guy because really, was this so bad? The images were not “porn,” as was originally assumed, but rather some tasteful shots of Ms. Kerr from her most recent GQ photoshoot. She’s topless, yeah but you can’t even see anything. No nips! Just a little underboob. And even if it was “porn,” would that be so bad? Bad enough that he should be fired? Macquarie could could flip out and make an example of Kiely or they could relax and think about this rationally. Because the whole thing was captured on film, they obviously have to make some sort of example of him But I don’t think termination is the answer.
How about he creates a presentation? Maybe Miranda is an outlet for him and taking breaks every so often to stare of topless shots of her is necessary for him to perform at the high level he does, amiright? Clearly this is DK’s job to figure out but he’s probably not in a very good place right now, and while it might seem like we’re working our asses off for a guy we don’t even know, look at it this way: if Macquarie buys this, it could be a precedent setting moment– semi-nudes, full-on nudes, closely shorn sheep at work are a-okay, so long they’re not affecting your productivity. So it’d be in your best interest to help the guy come up with something, and then down the road you can use it to explain why you’re on a website called Or something.

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47 Responses to “Macquarie Bank Miranda Kerr Enthusiast On A Time Out ‘Til Superiors Decide What To Do With Him”

  1. guest says:

    LiveGoatsGoinAtIt.Com … don’t bother. I already checked it out. There’s nothing there … yet.

  2. guest says:

    oddly enough, redirects to

  3. CoveredLong says:

    He was helping generate some buzz for GQ in anticipation of a public offering by Advance Publications.
    He’s trying to position himself as a knowledgeable PM in anticipation of his upcumming launch of a Sin Fund.
    He’s trying to position himself as Handbridge Capital CEO.

  4. guest says:

    @3 see! we’re making progress already.

  5. guest says:

    Bess, can you be my boss?

  6. guest says:

    Dreamin’ of Drury – needed some cleave.. opened my e-mail, boom – done.

  7. ExtraordinaryPopularDelusions says:


  8. guest says:

    this is about freedom.

  9. guest says:

    Apologies for being off topic but this dude on closing bell has one hell of a lazy eye.

  10. guest says:

    29 is he topless

  11. american bandersnatch says:

    There have been several studies showing high levels of male hormones correlate with positive trading results. Clearly this guy was trying to improve the performance he generates for his clients by stimulating his hormonal system. I applaud this guy’s dedication to improving his and his client’s results – the images are tasteful and he didn’t resort to testosterone injections.

  12. guest says:

    @9 And Maria’s frosting is looking so much better these days … did she change stylists? For a while she was looking very Jersey …

  13. guest says:

    @11 i beg to differ, female hormones lead to better trading results- ping

  14. Anal_yst says:

    So prop firms can watch horse pron all day long (encouraged, at some), but “reputable” banks, many of which exist today only due to government intervention, restrict employees to pg bullsh*t?
    Clearly, there’s a correlation with employees ‘blowing off steam’ on risque material and relative financial performance.

  15. guest says:

    @11 i beg to differ, female hormones lead to better trading results- ping

  16. guest says:

    If AIGers are looking at porn, this means we can take back their bonuses?

  17. guest says:

    @11, @14 You are BOTH wrong, wrong, wrong! A proper mix of male and female hormones works best.
    Mr……Ms….er…Mrs. Tong

  18. guest says:

    What would Muffie Do (WWMD)?

  19. guest says:

    @18 if you’re the real andrea, it would be ms. tong, or, mrs. jiang.

  20. guest says:

    What would Muffie Do (WWMD)?

  21. guest says:

    let’s see Yael’s rack!

  22. guest says:

    I watch porn all the time and there isn’t one boob or naked chick in there to get me in twuble…

  23. guest says:

    Men who stare at GoatsGoingAtIt

  24. guest says:

    @21 nothing, as she’s a fictional character.

  25. guest says:

    Seriously though, if they fire this guy, I’ll never do business with them again.

  26. guest says:

    @26 same! take a stand!

  27. guest says:

    What would Muffie Do (WWMD)?

  28. Anal_yst says:

    Look, its not like he was looking at or tubgirl or 2kneales1collie or anything, whats the big f*cking deal?

  29. guest says:

    @24 not bad.

  30. Investorcluzo says:

    is this a paid leave? and exactly how is this “unacceptable use of technology?” I thought the internet was made for porn.
    -not david

  31. guest says:

    The internet was not made for porn. I know.

  32. guest says:

    The viewing banker doesn’t need to be sacked, his boss does. Whomever runs that floor should know who all the wankers are and ask them to take 5 until the TV time is done.
    You never see anyone behind the Barclays guys when they’re on TV. Did you think that was just a coincidence?

  33. trojan says:

    jessica gomes

  34. guest says:

    I would tickle her ass with a feather

  35. guest says:

    jessica gomes FTW

  36. guest says:

    @33- I like the way you think

  37. DG says:

    CNBC, playing in the background of most trading floors has been playing the advertisement for the SI swimsuit issue….which is actually more revealing than what the dude was looking at.

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