You know who it sucks to be right now, just a little bit? Me, because our servers are momentarily fucked 6 (thousand) ways ’til Sunday, 1 out of every 789 attempts at publishing is successful (like this one, if you’re reading it!), and most people can’t get on the site anyway. You know who else has also seen better days? Mark and Andy Madoff, who recently signed agreements with Irving Picard, the trustee overseeing the liquidation of Bernie “Known In M&A’s Houses As ‘You’re Not Our Real Dad!’” Madoff’s estate. The agreements require the spawn of Berns to, among other things, have their personal assets frozen, not rack up debt of more than $1,000, and submit monthly expense reports wherein the fish fetishists will be copping to spending 5 large apiece on top of the line fishing vests that promise to make your dick look huge (“in the event you get the opportunity to drop trou out there“) and you don’t even want to know how much on bespoke restraints that’ll fit most bass. Other people singing It Sucks To Be Me today include John Paulson and Citi (nothing happened just, you know, in gen). So I’m going to mosey on out of here circa right now. Things will be better on Monday, and if they’re not, for a nominal fee I’ll come to your offices and perform my posts live, sock puppets included. Actually, I might do that regardless.
Update: Surely it’s no coincidence that somehow I’m able to get in to spread the word that Lloyd Blankfein will be taking a mere $9 million bonus (no cash) this year, and likely donating all the shares to a fund set up for curing feline AIDS.
Yay Bess.
YB
You sound so depressed, that I’ll be clicking thru on all of your advertisers from now on when I check in.
@2 she doesn’t sound depressed, she sounds stressed and as though she could use a little tension release from yours truly. Bess, call me.
3:17 timestamp = bess has been drunk for several hours. ka-ching!
‘Things will be better on Monday, and if they’re not, for a nominal fee I’ll come to your offices and perform by posts live, sock puppets included. Actually, I might do that regardless.’
I am so down for this.
The bass has a firmer spine.
2 weasels enjoying the outdoors before they throw away the key.
It’s remarkable how carefree the Madoff brothers look considering the wake of devastation left behind-only the bass looks appropriate in the picture.
The bass looks just like Mommy!
Petite and sour.
Bess, there is a nasty net virus going around and it is coming from some punk ‘advertiser’ that is attaching from one of the financial blogs (have not found which blog yet) It crushed us all this week and we had to sweep all machines clean
That is not a bass you ‘tards. Its a fricking rainbow trout.
is that an alto bass?
where r u fishing? my freind wants to know nice fish!!
Heirs…no accomplishments of their own and so annoying…
OK, so first things first. Bess, no need to bring your sock puppet to my office because I just ran out and bought a dozen “socks” and I’ve got my own puppet and he’s….well…as the Madoff Jerkoffs would say…a big fish!
Now, for those of you who can identify the species of fish held by the Madoff Spawn from 20 paces, you’ve just labeled yourself a Douche and should immediately down a fifth of Vodka.
Why, you say? It is so you don’t feel so much pain when you do the human race a favor and cut your own balls off!!!!
God, the servers go down and the friggin boneheads come out of the woodwork!!!!
Nuff Said!
It’s a fish-shaped bong, homos.
A baby ate my dingo
@11 – - Trojan tried to infect my PC from the Hank P SI story right here at DealBreaker. McAfee only half blocked it.
On loading dealbreaker a window pops up asking to save a file. Probably a trojan / virus. You need to take a look at this
Here’s whats going on – the Madoff boys were suspected of being involved with their father Bernie Madoffs Ponzi scheme. The stupid SEC didn’t do shit to stop this (what else can you expect from a govt. agency) though people like me have been warning of this for ages – don’t trust the “MSM”.
Anyhow, now the Madoff boys assets are being seized as the SEC belatedly tries to close the stable door. And Bess, you misspelled “assets” in the title.
- Anal_yst
We got a calculater!
I don’t know….Should Dodd merge with UBS to fully attenuate the suck?
Bwanny’s Pet Gerbil
WHO DAT!
am i the only one dissapointed that there is only one post labeled ’sock puppets’
Amen, Ham. After all we’ve done for the interwebs, you’d think we deserve just a little more of the attention we crave.
Why arent these two bags of shit in jail? What the fuck took so long to freeze their money?