Matt Taibbi has a new article out. See if you can guess what it’s about. Were you going to say evil bankers and particularly the evil ones at Goldman Sachs? Of course you were. In MT’s latest, we “learn” that all banksters used junkie, con-men-like attitudes, and that Blankfein’s super power resides in his “pair of giant, nuclear-powered testicles.” So now you know. Also:

At one point or another, pretty much everyone who takes drugs has been burned by this one, also known as the “Rocks in the Box” scam or, in its more elaborate variations, the “Jamaican Switch.” Someone sells you what looks like an eightball of coke in a baggie, you get home and, you dumbass, it’s baby powder.

Comments (66)

  1. Posted by guest | February 18, 2010 at 11:47 AM

    exqueeze me? CDO’s?

  2. Posted by guest | February 18, 2010 at 11:52 AM

    I got scammed like that once, but instead of baby powder, it turned out to be Keith Richards’ dad’s ashes.

  3. Posted by guest | February 18, 2010 at 12:02 PM

    Taibbi needs to realize that no one cares, because it will never change. GS will be here after the cockroaches, which is what they are. He does bring up some good points though
    -Former AIG Mortgage trader who didnt make money rather he printed it.

  4. Posted by Anal_yst | February 18, 2010 at 12:03 PM

    Uh, I don’t know anyone who’s ever bought an 8ball and ended up with anything but. Quality may be questionable, but baby powder? Jeeze this Taibbi is a n00b.

  5. Posted by guest | February 18, 2010 at 12:05 PM

    GSCO=washington square park

  6. Posted by Lucy van Pelt | February 18, 2010 at 12:10 PM

    It’s uncanny. Almost as if Mr. Taibbi has bugged the office.

  7. Posted by guest | February 18, 2010 at 12:13 PM

    What he will soon find out is that I now employ all the blow slangers in the city and that next time he needs his fix it will be goldbond bc LB is my boy!
    -evil banker

  8. Posted by guest | February 18, 2010 at 12:13 PM

    What he will soon find out is that I now employ all the blow slangers in the city and that next time he needs his fix it will be goldbond bc LB is my boy!
    -evil banker

  9. Posted by guest | February 18, 2010 at 12:14 PM

    cocaine is a helluva drug

  10. Posted by guest | February 18, 2010 at 12:14 PM

    What he will soon find out is that I now employ all the blow slangers in the city and that next time he needs his fix it will be goldbond bc LB is my boy!
    -evil banker

  11. Posted by volatilitysmile | February 18, 2010 at 12:15 PM

    Does Matt break stories, or is it his water that broke? Can’t ascertain with certainty. Seems like he has an octo-mom-like fixation on the Scrott – wants to have his babies and all? Wait, what?

  12. Posted by Ass_ociate | February 18, 2010 at 12:16 PM

    “The nation’s six largest banks . . . set aside a whopping $140 billion for executive compensation last year”
    Methinks Matt Taibbi doesn’t understand the meaning of executive compensation.

  13. Posted by guest | February 18, 2010 at 12:17 PM

    “Matt Taibbi On Lloyd Blankfein’s Balls”
    Pics or it didn’t happen.

  14. Posted by merkin capital partners | February 18, 2010 at 12:22 PM

    Considering that the average Rolling Stone subscriber aspires to achieve little more than an assistant manager position at Starbucks, I wouldn’t be too worried. That, or a Berkeley political science professor. Those are kind of the same I guess.

  15. Posted by guest | February 18, 2010 at 12:26 PM

    Anal_yst @4,
    Easy with the market color on yeyo there cowboy.
    No one, other than your yokel cousins is buying your “badass finance mofo” shtick. The closest you’ve been to 8balls was at that gents-only “soirée” you attended…

  16. Posted by guest | February 18, 2010 at 12:30 PM

    I had a similar experiences, but instead of baby powder, the Jamaican slipped me some of Keith Richard’s dad’s ashes.

  17. Posted by volatilitysmile | February 18, 2010 at 12:32 PM

    At a risk of coming under fire yet again, Matt went to Concord Academy and Bard College, and then a year (exchange) to St. Petersburg Polytechnical University (a commie?!). Can I use the term “liberal arts degree” now, or is the buy side going to annihilate me with napalm, by default?

  18. Posted by NakedShort | February 18, 2010 at 12:36 PM

    It’s a fucking milligram of sweetener. I want to get high off this, not sprinkle it on my fucking oatmeal.

  19. Posted by guest | February 18, 2010 at 12:36 PM

    Good old Concord Academy where the girls are girls and the boys are girls too

  20. Posted by guest | February 18, 2010 at 12:40 PM

    Yael, switch up your format a bit, whydontcha? The old “guess what yadda yadda” schtick is getting old.
    Read up on Greg. This kind of stuff got him run out of town.
    –DB Broker o’ Wisdom

  21. Posted by guest | February 18, 2010 at 12:41 PM

    Yael, switch up your format a bit, whydontcha? The old “guess what yadda yadda” schtick is getting old.
    Read up on Greg. This kind of stuff got him run out of town.
    –DB Broker o’ Wisdom

  22. Posted by volatilitysmile | February 18, 2010 at 12:45 PM

    At a risk of coming under fire yet again, Matt went to Concord Academy and Bard College, and then a year (exchange) to St. Petersburg Polytechnical University (a commie?!). Can I use the term “liberal arts degree” now, or is the buy side going to annihilate me with napalm, by default?

  23. Posted by guest | February 18, 2010 at 12:48 PM

    @17, you are a ginormous aristocratic pretentious ballbag. That wont change, and everyone knows it. Bill Gates dropped out of Harvard, whats your point??

  24. Posted by volatilitysmile | February 18, 2010 at 12:58 PM

    @23: Maybe, but then I wouldn’t know an eight ball even if it hit me in the face.
    How is what Goldman does different than what all Banks do? I like JD as much as Bess, but why is snatching BS for a dime with a backstop different than what GS did? Or why is Thain not sainted by ML shareholders? The arguments used are so weak, it implies the person who wrote the article is an (Apple? This is then somewhat tolerable) mouse weaver.

  25. Posted by guest | February 18, 2010 at 1:06 PM

    @23 and LeBron went from high school to the NBA… who gives a shit. Ivy Leaguers are usually better than your narcotic doused liberal arts degree holder. There are exceptions to the rule, but stereotypes usually have more truth than fiction.
    Now go get your fucking shine box!

  26. Posted by guest | February 18, 2010 at 1:07 PM

    @23 and LeBron went from high school to the NBA… who gives a shit. Ivy Leaguers are usually better than your narcotic doused liberal arts degree holder. There are exceptions to the rule, but stereotypes usually have more truth than fiction.
    Now go get your fucking shine box!

  27. Posted by guest | February 18, 2010 at 1:15 PM

    @25, ive worked with and out-earned more than my fair share of Ivy league douchebags. Usually they wax poetic abt their years at yale or harvard etc well into their 40′s(after most people are done talking about where they went to school) because its all they have to hang their hat on. Now go get my coffee, run along now
    @23, you sound like you would know and are familiar with two balls hitting you in the face. HYD, thanks for playing

  28. Posted by m&a - the m is for My bankroll the a is for Arrogant | February 18, 2010 at 1:23 PM

    @17, i went to brown and dropped out to sell chicles in cancun. my liberal arts degree has afforded me an uncanny ability to understand the human condition and sympathize with others in an articulate manner. oh wait nevermind i have a finance degree

  29. Posted by m&a - the m is for My bankroll the a is for Arrogant | February 18, 2010 at 1:23 PM

    @17, i went to brown and dropped out to sell chicles in cancun. my liberal arts degree has afforded me an uncanny ability to understand the human condition and sympathize with others in an articulate manner. oh wait nevermind i have a finance degree

  30. Posted by guest | February 18, 2010 at 1:29 PM

    Oh, and @25, we always, ALWAYS take yur women. But that goes whithout saying….

  31. Posted by guest | February 18, 2010 at 1:29 PM

    Oh, and @25, we always, ALWAYS take yur women. But that goes whithout saying….

  32. Posted by guest | February 18, 2010 at 1:36 PM

    Matt Taibbi is angry to be Matt Taibbi.
    I sympathize.

  33. Posted by volatilitysmile | February 18, 2010 at 1:36 PM

    @ 27 – let’s see if we could get the posts above 100 on your strenght alone.
    P.S./If you use your liberal arts brain cell, you might consider that two balls in the face might be an enjoyable proposition. But then, I would not what you know as dorms of libart campuses are a black hole to me.

  34. Posted by guest | February 18, 2010 at 1:36 PM

    Matt Taibbi is angry to be Matt Taibbi.
    I sympathize.

  35. Posted by guest | February 18, 2010 at 1:40 PM

    But then, I would not what you know as dorms of libart campuses are a black hole to me.
    @32, did you learn that grammar at Princeton?

  36. Posted by yawn | February 18, 2010 at 1:40 PM

    Taibbi should send Goldman a bonus check and a thank you. Hes made his living off them. No GS blame, no MT fame.

  37. Posted by guest | February 18, 2010 at 1:41 PM

    @32 try again. you write like a retard

  38. Posted by Anal_yst | February 18, 2010 at 1:43 PM

    @15
    1. I’m a Jew from NY/NJ, we don’t have any yokel’s in my family.
    2. what “badass finance mofo” schtick? Taibbi’s experience must be based off being a naive college freshman buying yack for the 1st time to impress the sorostitutes or something, or, like with the rest of his writing, he’s just reaching with poorly-crafted hyperbole and fluff to mask the lack of actual material or analysis.

  39. Posted by guest | February 18, 2010 at 1:46 PM

    @Anal_yst
    LibArts colleges ditched the sororities, much to thier detrement
    Princeton thankfully still has sorostitutes.

  40. Posted by volatilitysmile | February 18, 2010 at 1:49 PM

    multitasking. someone has to pay you some fees, after all, tards. all your bases are belong to us.

  41. Posted by guest | February 18, 2010 at 1:50 PM

    @ 25 /26 – is that you Tommy “Two Times”?

  42. Posted by guest | February 18, 2010 at 1:54 PM

    @39 thanks for the confirmation that youre a loser

  43. Posted by guest | February 18, 2010 at 1:54 PM

    What exactly is a “Matt Taibbi”?

  44. Posted by guest | February 18, 2010 at 1:59 PM

    @39, you are done. Again, thanks for playing, we have some lovely parting gifts for you.
    YOu are clearing my trade while getting my coffee, only multi-tasking you are doing.

  45. Posted by guest | February 18, 2010 at 2:03 PM

    @volatilitysmile once you finish clearing 39′s trades and getting his coffee dont forget to get the newspaper, the newspaper.
    -the real Tommy Two Times

  46. Posted by guest | February 18, 2010 at 2:06 PM

    In an alternate world, I can easily see him as a banker. He has the whole being a loud asshole part (complete with the vocabulary) down pat.

  47. Posted by guest | February 18, 2010 at 2:06 PM

    What is up with the Anti-Anal_yst stalkers?

  48. Posted by volatilitysmile | February 18, 2010 at 2:11 PM

    Listen, as much as I enjoy your punishment, I will go now to teaching other kids how to spell “youre a loser” like a mouse-using lib clown.
    Thank you for playing, the pleasure was all yours, and all.

  49. Posted by guest | February 18, 2010 at 2:17 PM

    @47 Your typos and incoherence are seriously compromising this “I’m smarter than you” shtick.

  50. Posted by CoveredLong | February 18, 2010 at 2:21 PM

    Volatility Smile – That might make for a decent ‘deranged serial killer’ movie. Unpredictable psycho clown type character with a penchant for knives.
    “Where every smile, might be your last, HAHAHAHA”

  51. Posted by guest | February 18, 2010 at 2:23 PM

    Anal_yst, what are your thoughts on your thoughts?
    -41

  52. Posted by volatilitysmile | February 18, 2010 at 2:26 PM

    @48 I missed a word, ’twas not a typo (I’m also intellectually challenged, so you are going after a handicapped person, you vile eavil devil). Now, good bye, a “plane” awaits.

  53. Posted by volatilitysmile | February 18, 2010 at 2:30 PM

    @ Covered – you complete me. You, and negative convexity.

  54. Posted by guest | February 18, 2010 at 2:32 PM

    @43 are you translating this to english on the internet?

  55. Posted by guest | February 18, 2010 at 2:40 PM

    @27: 32 is definitely coming on to you.
    -Yalie

  56. Posted by volatilitysmile | February 18, 2010 at 3:05 PM

    @ 54 – Guy crush. Agression is the first step towards unconditional love.
    Although, I promise solemnly to Bess to never ever mention liberal or arts in future, as he’s also as predictable as a Pamplona bull facing red cloth.

  57. Posted by NakedShort | February 18, 2010 at 3:07 PM

    Can we just all agree that Florida sucks?

  58. Posted by NotNasser | February 18, 2010 at 3:37 PM

    #56. Yes. Florida sucks. Georgia blows.

  59. Posted by guest | February 18, 2010 at 3:53 PM

    I am at a Starbucks a half mile from Oklahoma Christian College and the phrase “nuclear powered testicles” made me laugh out loud and then all the little Christians here after classes stared at me like I was a heathen.

  60. Posted by guest | February 18, 2010 at 4:06 PM

    The exchange to Russia is obviously the more obvious circumstance leading to his communist influence than the libart colleges.
    Taibbi should paint himself red and run through a corn field backwards. Dirty hippie.

  61. Posted by guest | February 18, 2010 at 5:37 PM

    I’m going to pistol whip the next ass-clown that uses the word “shtick” in this thread.
    Texas Bill
    Oil Trader to the Stars

  62. Posted by guest | February 18, 2010 at 7:34 PM

    @37,4 anal_yst
    1. I’m a Jew from NY/NJ, we don’t have any yokel’s in my family.
    Jew from NY/NJ??? that is really redundant..let me guess, you work in finance too???..what else does one find in those two shit hole states….thats why I left my home area of NJ/NY….you can keep em’ geek!…used to be great places to live….not anymore.
    - former NY/NJ metro area

  63. [...] off, when it comes to LB, you don’t separate anything, nuclear powered nutsacks or otherwise. Second, “strengthen the integrity of the board”? Lloyd has integrity [...]

  64. [...] off, when it comes to LB, you don’t separate anything, nuclear powered nutsacks or otherwise. Second, “strengthen the integrity of the board”? Lloyd has integrity [...]

  65. [...] off, when it comes to LB, you don’t separate anything, nuclear powered nutsacks or otherwise. Second, “strengthen the integrity of the board”? Lloyd has integrity [...]

  66. [...] off, when it comes to LB, you don’t separate anything, nuclear powered nutsacks or otherwise. Second, “strengthen the integrity of the board”? Lloyd has integrity [...]

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