$$$ Algo-Theft Case Against Ex-UBS Employees Dropped [TM]
$$$ Dope farm discovered in old branch of Natwest [DM]
$$$ Chipotle Execs Now Buying Every Nice Village Apartment [Curbed]
$$$ Lehman donates its leftover Vineyard Vines ties to the Salvation army [PDF]
Archive for February 2010
Raj Rajaratnam (and lady friend Danielle Chiesi) know that there is “not even a chance” they will do one day in jail, because they’re innocent, and didn’t do anything wrong. Given. Still, Raj-Raj has to pay some lawyers to prove it, and representation does not come cheap. That presumably has nothing to do with the Galleon founder recently selling his 60 Sutton Place South apartment, for $1.575 million. He could’ve needed to free up the cash for a lot of things, like the money to pay a few more analysts to be tased, but this time with an even more powerful gun, and to hire actors for his annual April Fool’s Day joke (last year it was it was a dwarf pretending to be the Galleon’s latest “small-cap” stocks analyst; this year is anyone’s guess!). In any event, while the big man will probably be spending most of his time up at the house in Greenwich, he will need a place to stay when he’s too drunk to make the trip home. Someone should help a brother out.
They all agree it sucks. But which one sounds the smartest saying it?
I’m kidding, but seriously: the departing head of Goldman Sachs Asset Management (whose gig is being taken over by Edward C. Forst) is going to have a lot of time on his hands for stuff like unorthodox landscape architecture and now that he’s retired, will really want to “maximize [his] beach enjoyment.” Uncle Jim might want to consider tossing Spilks some bills, just to keep him occupied. Memo, courtesy of Dealbook.
What is one supposed to do with all the failed banks? Buy them and create a new, prettier one! Former BofA and Wachovia execs are doing just this and are seeking $1 billion to fund their mega-bank, the Blue Ridge Bank N.A., to be based in Charlotte. And they’re hiring!
Ok people, time to stop bitching about Citi and its desire to conquer (destroy) the world with its uber-derivatives. Those people have souls. They just launched a pilot initiative that will allow people to remain in their foreclosed homes for six months in six states and they would like the Blankfeins and Dimons of the world to grow a pair and follow suit.
And, because they will go the extra mile, Citi will also provide relocation assistance at the end of the program and “relocation counseling” by “trained professionals.”
John Thomas Financial CEO, Defender Of Equal Rights For Wall Street, Most Likely Has Another Issue He’d Like To Address
By Bess Levin
A few weeks ago, John Thomas Financial CEO Thomas Belesis demanded respect for a group of people, the denizens of Wall Street, who, while labeled “different” from the rest of society because of their alternative professions, are still human beings who deserve to be treated fairly. Belesi did so by organizing a rally on his firm’s trading floor attended almost exclusively by the people whose desks are there. He mostly spoke in broad terms, since this was the first event of its kind, and the organizers just wanted to get their name and cause out there. But now, let us get down to specifics. Wall Streeters should not be ashamed of what they do, or try to hide it behind closed doors for fear of judgment or backlash. For instance, before JB started JTF, he worked at place where strippers danced regularly on the trading floor, labia rings were sniffed, breasts were used as napkins, and junior employees mopped up their boss’s jizz. But outside the halls of the firm, no one was allowed to talk about it. And not only that, but people actually got in trouble with the law for this sort of thing! And if you’re Thomas Belesis, you’re probably thinkin’ “that ain’t right.”
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Posted in:
Communiqués
Lee Ainslie’s Advice For Weathering The Ups And Downs Of The Markets And Life
By Bess LevinBefore losing your cool, take a TO to ask yourself the following: “3-2-1, 1-2-3, what the heck is bothering me?“. Also, don’t overeat (like someone who recently made partner at the firm), ’cause no one likes a fattie.
Houston Investment Bank Skeptical Of Cash Money Records Founders’ Foray Into Energy Business
By Bess Levin
As noted earlier this week, Cash Money Records founders (and brothers) Bryan “Birdman” Williams and Ronald “Slim” Williams are trying their hands at the energy business, with the launch of Bronald Oil & Gas LLC (Bronald = Br(yan) + (R)onald). This has prompted some haters to wonder aloud whether or not this is some sort of sign.
[The Wiliams'] foray into energy with Bronald prompted Houston investment bank Tudor Pickering Holt & Co. to quip that this may be a sign of the end of an oil-market rally.
“Doctors and dentists investing in oil wells was sign of top in 1980s,” the bank said last week in a note to clients. “Rappers the sign this cycle?”
First off, how dare you. Second, this:
The Greek Prime Minister George Papandreou is not too pleased with the EU’s pledge of some sort of help yesterday, which lacks any concrete measures. Papandreou’s response came down to, “thanks guys, but too little, too late.”
[clip via Business Insider]
Can anyone put their finger on it? Caruso and Cabrera, ideas?
