Archive for February 2010

  • 09 Feb 2010 at 8:25 AM

Opening Bell: 02.09.10

UBS Posts First Profit In More Than A Year (Bloomberg)
UBS earned 1.21 billion francs in the fourth quarter, its first profit since the third quarter of 2008, helped by lower costs tied to the company’s debt and a tax credit. The bank is paying 2.9 billion francs in bonuses for 2009, up 34 percent from the previous year. Chief Executive Officer Oswald Gruebel said in a statement that the return to profitability “will increase clients’ confidence in UBS.”
Time For Bonus Round At Banks (Charlotte Observer)
At Foreign Cars Italia of Charlotte, where cars run from about $100,000 to $1 million or more, bank bonus season used to provide a boost every February. But Gary Furnas, a sales consultant at the dealership, said he hasn’t been involved with a sale to a bank employee since November 2008. That customer, a Bank of America employee, bought a black Ferrari, but then kept it on the lot for two months because he worried that it was too flashy. It wasn’t a matter of money – “he could have bought four or five of them if he wanted,” Furnas said. In the end, the customer asked the dealership to resell the car, and he opted for a less showy Maserati instead. “He said he was getting too much grief from his co-workers, that he couldn’t be seen driving it around his neighborhood or in the bank parking lot,” Furnas said.
S.E.C. Enforcers Focus on Avoiding Madoff Repeat (NYT)
In the headquarters of the SEC, Mr. Madoff’s name is rarely spoken. More than seven months after he was sentenced to prison for orchestrating a global Ponzi scheme, shaken employees are still struggling to come to grips with how they failed to catch him before it was too late.
Nassim Taleb: Warren Buffett May Just Be Lucky (CNBC)
“I don’t want to spend too much time on Buffett. George Soros has 2 million times more statistical evidence that his results are not chance than Buffett does. Soros is vastly more robust. I am not saying Buffett doesn’t have skill–I’m just saying we don’t have enough evidence to say Buffett isn’t doing it by chance.”
Wall Street’s Race To The Bottom, By Elizabeth Warren (WSJ)
Banking is based on trust. The banks get our paychecks and hold our savings; they know where we spend our money and they keep it private. If we don’t trust them, the whole system breaks down. Yet for years, Wall Street CEOs have thrown away customer trust like so much worthless trash.
UBS bankers’ 2009 cash bonuses up a third on year (Reuters)
UBS will pay about 2.9 billion Swiss francs ($2.7 billion) in cash bonuses for 2009, up about a third from depressed payouts a year earlier.
Goldman’s Response To The New York Times, By Lucas Van Praag (Huffington Post)
NYT assertion: “Goldman’s demands for billions of dollars from the insurer helped put it in a precarious financial position by bleeding much-needed cash.”
The facts: Relative to the size of AIG’s overall business, Goldman Sachs was a small counterparty. We don’t believe our marks were “aggressive,” they reflected market prices at the time. We requested the collateral we were entitled to under the terms of our agreements. The idea that AIG collapsed because of our marks is not credible. In any event, the story later asserts that, by the spring of 2008, AIG’s dispute with Goldman Sachs was just one of its many woes.

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  • 08 Feb 2010 at 5:30 PM

Write-Offs: 02.08.10

Picture 118.png$$$ The history man and fatwa girl: Niall Ferguson has deserted wife Sue Douglas for Somali feminist [Daily Mail via Daily Intel]
$$$ German pensioners ‘kidnapped financial adviser‘ [BBC]
$$$ Cash Money Records Founders Start An Oil Company [BI]
$$$ Should Individuals Be Regulated Like Wall St. Banks? [The Atlantic]
$$$ Toy Mogul Said To Buy Madoff Penthouse [Dealbook]

Picture 116.pngWe don’t have to tell you bitching about bonuses is getting boring. Thankfully, the good people of Greenwich have nothing bad to say about them, and are actually just happy things are getting back to normal. They are spending like it’s 2005 all over again, although they admit that they’ll have to go about their business in a more demure manner this time around. Decency, and whatnot. “Last year was a big downer,” said Michelle Brunwasser, a partner in the chic Weber art gallery. “Things are definitely better now, and a lot of it has to do with the bonuses.”

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  • 08 Feb 2010 at 4:03 PM

PRESENTED WITHOUT COMMENT

Picture 113.png
IT GETS BETTER.

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  • 08 Feb 2010 at 3:30 PM

Citi’s Big Idea

Picture 112.pngThe guys at Citi are smarter than anyone else on the Street, which is why they are about to launch the first derivatives EVER that will pay out in the event of a financial crisis.
As Chris Whalen, at Institutional Risk Analytics, told us about the news: “It’s cute. Though a bit ironic coming from them.”Yes, it’s ironic and the mere concept could be funny if it weren’t that scary.

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  • 08 Feb 2010 at 2:59 PM

A Beauty Queen Speaks

When we last checked in with beauty queen and Raj Rajaratnam gal-pal Danielle Chiesi, she didn’t have much to say re: whether or not she and her boy were guilty of insider trading, as has been alleged, preferring instead to let her new makeover do the talking. Today she opened up to Reuters’ Matt Goldstein to let the world know a couplea things, namely that there’s no way in hell she and Raj-Raj will do time, that the Galleon manager didn’t hurt anybody (except for the employee whose body was temporarily disabled by an electric shock) and that he’s the most generous man she’s ever known (this we know is true, as said tasee was paid 5 g’s for her time).

“There is not even a chance we will do one day in jail,” Chiesi said in a recent telephone interview. “We didn’t do anything wrong.”
She said she considers Rajaratnam a good friend and it is “an honor and a privilege” to stand next to him in court. She and Rajaratnam are due back in court on Feb. 11.

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fatnlittle.jpgLiterally, and not like, as a metaphor for the markets repeatedly slamming his nuts in a drawer. From today’s Sex Diary:

B, the CEO of a bank, likes for me to kick him repeatedly in the testicles. I threaten him with my two pink dildos, Fat Man and Little Boy. Sometimes I’m disturbed by the ease with which I perform acts of such egregious violence. He calls what we do making love.

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Picture 110.pngDick Bove took a break from whatever it is he’s doing today to profess, once again, his never-ending love for Ken Lewis and BofA. In response to the charges Cuomo and the SEC filed last week against the bank and its ex-leaders, Bove had just one thing to say: “The actions of Andrew Cuomo and the SEC cost billions and untold suffering.”

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Picture 109.pngFor the past few years, bonuses at RBS have been what you call not so great (for good reason of course, which is that whatever money the firm had needed to be put towards on-site saunas and sports bars, so just silence yourselves). RBSGC Managing Director James Glover (apparently known to colleagues though not to his face as “G-Love”), was all too aware of the shit bonus situation, particularly the potential scheme to pay employees entirely in RBS debt and if we’re being honest? He didn’t like it. It didn’t jibe with the ski house in Vermont he was building (which some haters claimed was out of his price range) or the money problems he was having in general. So Jim did what any thinking man would do and came up with a plan– help himself to a bonus.

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As you’re aware, Lloyd Blankfein took a $9 million bonus on Friday in an attempt to show the world he “gets” it. So much does Lloyd get it that prior to accepting an obscenely low package for a man of his stature, he actually consulted Kenneth Feinberg “numerous” times on the matter, even though he didn’t have to. According to Feinberg, the conversations were “not only about the size of [Blankfein's] package” but also about how, Goldman, as an institution should behave and lead by example. “He was concerned and wanted to abide by what Treasury was doing and he has succeeded.” For his part, Feinberg still seems a bit skeptical of LB. “Whether or not those prescriptions will remain in place remains to be seen.”