Most of us (me) were kind of under the impression that now that he’s retired, Ken Lewis didn’t much give a rat’s ass what Andrew Cuomo or the SEC, or anyone throws his way. Sleeping late, boozing in the morning, distilling his own moonshine, and participating in beard-growing contests are what his days are about, not defending himself re: whether or not he tried to keep the Merrill losses on the hush-hush from his investors until the deal was done, at which time John Thain came in the front door tracked shit all over BAC’s new rug. Apparently, though, we were wrong, and Ken Lewis is fighting this fight.
Archive for February 2010
As you might’ve heard, the world is waiting with bated breath for the announcement of Lloyd Blankfein’s bonus. It could come soon. Or never. Earlier reports claimed that JPM was waiting to hear what Lloyd would get, and gauging the reaction to it, before deciding Jamie D’s take-home, though we’re told that’s not the case.
Jennifer Aniston is reportedly done with dating celebrities. She’s now looking to be set up with “a wealthy businessman,” according to her friends who’ve been talking to Us Weekly. Off the top of my head I’m thinking Warren Buffett would be game but lacking the assets you’d find on a Russ Meyers set, she’s not really his type. Arki Busson is available and we know he likes the thespians, so that’s a possibility, as is fellow Greek Jim Chanos. Who else do we think would be down to play CEO and secretary ho with JA? Let’s get serious about this.
Jen Aniston “Wants to Be Set Up With a Wealthy Businessman” [US via Daily Intel]
The following post is by InfiniteGuest, a regular reader and frequent commenter.
Ask a friend, “What do you think of Ben Bernanke,” and you get a substantive response, making comparisons to Greenspan, speaking more generally about Central Banks, the Great Depression, society at large, widening and continuing the discussion. “What do you think of Barack Obama?” yields comparisons to President Bush, opinions on the Presidency as an institution, on health care, our wars and our foreign policy, and of course, the state of race relations in America. Ask a friend about Larry Summers, Paul Volcker or Robert Rubin and expect a long conversation to follow. Hank Paulson provokes a referendum on Goldman Sachs. The mention of Paul O’Neill or John Snow makes for a good discussion of ethics. But ask, “What do you think of Tim Geithner,” and after, “I don’t like him,” the conversation stalls.
As previously mentioned, Norwalk resident and UBS VP Peter Mullen was awarded a DUI early Sunday morning, when he failed to prove he wasn’t drunk at a sobriety checkpoint. He was also charged with carrying a firearm (a .45-caliber Wilson Combat Pistol) while under the influence. But this isn’t about Packing Pedro. This is about the place Mullen told the police he was coming from: Beamers, Stamford’s premier strip club.
It’s “a no brainer” to sell short Treasuries, Nassim Taleb, a principal at Universa Investments LP in Santa Monica, California, said at a conference in Moscow today. “Every single human being should have that trade.”
B to the A has settled the never-ending SEC charges pertaining to the Merrill acquisition, and agreed to pay $150 million in fines. This comes on top of Cuomo’s civil lawsuit under NY’s Martin Act, charging Lewis and Joe Price for “misleading investors about the Merrill purchase” and its failure to disclose a multibillion-dollar loss and big bonus payouts at ML before shareholders voted on the merger in December 2008. As for the latter, BofA had this to say in a statement:
Much has been written about Nouriel Roubini’s quest for a new nickname. Sadly, despite a great job by the Dealbreaker commentariat in finding a new moniker, Roubini has decided to go with one suggested by CNBC. Roubini the Realist, because “I’ve always said that I’m Dr. Realist rather than Dr. Doom; it’s important to be right, not pessimist or optimist and that’s how it is.”
CNBC reports that Andrew Cuomo is set it announce “significant action” against a “major bank.” While we wait for the Attorney General to get his best suit on, let’s determine a) which bank and b) what he’s going to do to them. Some opening ideas:
1) Smash their faces with an iron
2) Shove a nail through their foot
3) Slap them in the face with a paint can
4) Bite off their fingers one by one
6) Snap off their necks with a crackle and pop (because they crossed Andy and messed with his shit, openin’ their trap and flappin’ their lip)
7) Nut in their eye
8) Stomp on their world
9) Piss and moan like an impotent jerk
10) You tell us
Update: Apparently its Bank of America, Ken Lewis, ex-CFO Joe Price, who Cuomo is bringing Martin Act charges against for “misleading investors about the Merrill purchase.” The above still not ruled out.
As previously mentioned, David Kiely, the Macquarie employee who took a few peeks at a topless Miranda Kerr while he floor was being filmed the other day, has been home since the “incident,” while his superiors deal with the matter internally. We’ve suggested this isn’t grounds for termination, and so far there’s at least one campaign to Save Dave. Additionally, the bank is apparently investigating whether or not this was “a practical joke gone wrong.” 1) Obviously no, it probably was not, and David needs to just own this. 2) If it was a “joke” you Aussies need to examine your lives because you sicken me. Yes, there’s clearly some grounds for hilarity vis-a-vis sending your co-worker something to look at on his work computer when you know he’s going to be in the background of a live, nationally broadcast show. Given. But this is what you’re going with? Shots of a model from GQ? Not something that might actually be slightly embarrassing/darker, like bestiality (for instance: two hawks DP’ing a Goldman candidate)? Or Justin Timberlake pantomiming a hand job?
