ESL founder and Sears Chairman Eddie Lampert released his annual letter to shareholders yesterday, in which he unloaded a year’s worth of angst. First, the rating agencies. While Eddie understands that they sometimes err on the side of caution, he just doesn’t agree “with all of the critical qualitative conclusions.” Next, business leaders, regulators, public officials and journalists- they’re all the same. They “have become an echo chamber of self-support and self-congratulation, whether on TV, in print or at numerous conferences. Their words and their actions are often self-serving and they are typically regarded and reported on as if they were obvious and selfless.”
Archive for February 2010
By now you’ve probably heard about the killer whale, Tilikum, that savagely murdered an SeaWorld employee today in front of a packed audience (according to a guest, the trainer was “thrashed around pretty good” and at one point, one of her shoes flew off). A devastating tragedy, and something that perhaps calls for an avenging. By whom? Stephen Schwarzman, ’cause Blackstone owns SeaWorld.
He actually already did it but, you know, for future reference. Obviously your report should detail immediate-term physical effects.
Update: Some added color: “He wasn’t allowed to puke for an hour starting 2.5 hours ago. Still has it down, but went home, apparently not feeling too well.”
Credit Suisse Overestimating Just How Much US-Based Employees Care About Swiss Hockey Team, Underestimating How Many Will Pretend To In Order To Get Out Of Work
By Bess Levin
If management had accurate figures for the latter, we’re pretty sure they would’ve opened up a few more auditoriums/conference rooms and/or called ahead to a bunch of bars to let ‘em know CS employees have been given the rest of the day off to watch US vs. Switzerland game. Two hundred and twenty five seats (and no booze) is not going to cut it. To that end, question for the group– is this sort of generosity making other banks look bad or is everyone doing it? Did Deutsche Bank call off work yesterday to watch the Canadians rout the Krauts? Has RBC pulled the plug for the entirety of the games?
So the SEC voted 3-2 in favor of restricting short-selling today, at the risk of pissing off Goldman Sachs, whose head of US equity trading Paul Russo had been lobbying against the proposal for some time. However, even Mary Schapiro knows that no one can truly make a full frontal attack on GS, and mitigated the rule to take into consideration Russo’s advice, deemed to be the “least harmful”: trigger a circuit breaker any time a stock has dropped 10% in one day.
Jamie Dimon is the most-loved CEO on Wall Street. There’s no debating that. Obama loves him, the press loves him, tweens love him, we love him. He’s devastatingly charming, handsome, and smart. He’s got integrity oozing out of every orifice. He’s funny. Good at basketball. He can fix things around the house. The list goes on. There is one thing you don’t know about JD, though. Despite having a pretty jam-packed schedule, what with his job running a multi-billion dollar corporation and beating men, women and children off with a stick, he’s somehow found the time to fit in bi-weekly runs to Atlanta. To dump used tires. Illegally. According to City Solicitor Raines Carter. Who’s issued a warrant for Jamie’s arrest.
If you answered “an auction that takes place in the Netherlands,” you’re not alone.
Also, “Lloyd’s done a much better job than some of the publicity [would indicate].” Corzine’s one suggestion: “speak a little less.”
Don’t get too excited, young chippies– the bank has merely been told it’s allowed to pay out 1.3 billion pounds ($2.01 billion) as decreed by its overlords (the U.K. Treasury and U.K. Financial Investments, and the Queen’s corgis).
Kenneth Feinberg Not Happy With Certain Wall Street CEO Who Was Paid A $9 Million, All Stock Bonus
By Yaël Bizouati
In a recent interview, Pay Czar Kenneth Feinberg finally strayed from his usually scripted remarks, getting really worked up about a certain person, who he won’t name, but is among those who “really do believe they are entitled to $9 million, [which] is a problem.” But what really got to Kenny, is that this $9 million -unnamed- person had the (nuclear) balls to ask him what was up with all the bonus backlash and why people were so mad at him. “Why don’t you like me?” that anonymous “bigwig” asked him.
Feinberg also opened up about his relationship with Timmy G., to whom apparently one can’t say “no”(“You try”). Also, he’s not a fan of AIG people who are just greedy b&*@#$.
The kittens were safe. The first-years had completed the safety seminar on how to operate their nuclear-powered testicles (there are special washing instructions). The clients were front-run. The ignoramuses, bitch-slapped. With everything in order at the House of Goldman Sachs, and with an opening in his schedule, Lloyd Blankfein apparently finally found the time the other night to check off a task he hasn’t been able to line-out on his To Do list for a while: improve Israeli-Palestinian relations. Sure, sure, it seems like kind of an insurmountable task, given how the two sides have gotten along, historically, but this is LB we’re talking about, and you’d be hard-pressed to find two groups, no matter how bitterly they’ve fought and disagreed in the past, who would deny a common appreciation for that gorgeous pate. That’s all it takes.
