By now you’ve probably heard about the killer whale, Tilikum, that savagely murdered an SeaWorld employee today in front of a packed audience (according to a guest, the trainer was “thrashed around pretty good” and at one point, one of her shoes flew off). A devastating tragedy, and something that perhaps calls for an avenging. By whom? Stephen Schwarzman, ’cause Blackstone owns SeaWorld.
The firm has put out a statement that but I think SS needs to do something a little more…intense. Like getting on a plane, taking matters into his own hands and harpooning this bitch. Or is that too much? Clearly it’s a tough call. And one the Blackstone chief, who loves marine life, might not be up to making. So let’s do it for him. Should Schwarzman take Mr. T out? And if so, how?
kill it!
First analyst that can chug the dork dry gets 2k
@stephen- put a cap in her ass
Give the whale to the japanese.
Boom! Done!
harpoon from a zodiak!
@3
Bit severe don’t you think? All Bess did was report on it.
Bad news, WC doesn’t apply to intentional torts.
Make whale eat live dynamite. Boom, sucka!
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=fwNvIM2W9Aw
killing a killer whale is the new killing it
if it bleeds, we can kill it
Wow, talk about offensive. Somebody dies under horrible circumstances and you use it as an opportunity to make jokes about Steve Schwarzman?
Wow, talk about offensive. Somebody dies under horrible circumstances and you use it as an opportunity to make jokes about Steve Schwarzman?
Wow, talk about offensive. Somebody dies under horrible circumstances and you use it as an opportunity to make jokes about Steve Schwarzman?
I’ve taken down many a whale in my day… leave this one to me.
-Guy who fucked Maria Bartiromo
@12-15 the only reason you could possibly have to be offended is if you’re a relative of the whale. I said this was a devastating tragedy, one so bad that something needs to be done about it, and I was deadly serious, not joking.
If Schwartzman’s really that smart he’ll put the man-eater in a tank of formaldehyde and sell it Steve Cohen for $40 million. That should cover the law suit.
@17 fantastic idea
@16
“deadly serious”?!??! Could you be a bit more sensitive in your word choice?
$2000 to the first trader to eat the entire whale and not puke for 2.5 hours.
@11 nice reference- it was on last night.
@11 nice reference- it was on last night.
@2 Ftw
@12-14 Gay
@15 Honorable mention
Whale eats tuna. It happens all the time. Why are folks surprised this happened?
Whale eats tuna. It happens all the time. Why are folks surprised this happened?
@17 Brilliant! I’m sure Larry Gagosian is chasing down Damien Hurst allready.
So the killer whale finally lived up to it’s reputation. What took so long?
So the killer whale finally lived up to it’s reputation. What took so long?
Is that a picture of LOBSTERCLOPS?
@19? Maybe this blog is a bit above your reading level? Try some picture books and then work up to Dealbreaker, slowly. Nobody wants to see you injur yourself trying to comprehend it all without a bit more practice first. Good luck little guy!
@26
If you saw Hirst’s latest “animal” in a tank @ Gagosian the other week, which they said would fetch what, $10-20mmm, I think this Killer Whale would go for an easy $100mm, no?
I don’t even understand the concept of offensive and if you do your time is probably best spent on a gawker site debating whether this act was racist or anti-gay.
I am shocked that a killer whale ate a person. Next thing you know, the sharks will start rebelling. (No need to worry SC)
@merkin- this isn’t a gawker site. you dumb fuck.
“Gherkin tsk, tsk.” @33 Isn’t that how you usually romance your merkin?
- not a merkin
I love to hump dead whales, have since I was a wee lad. Let me at him. Just for a little but. Please? Just a couple of humps.
I eat dork rolls every time I go for sushi
@33 manners! if you’re going to call someone a dumb fuck it’s proper etiquette to at least understand what he was saying.
@gherkin I understood you. I always do. I read you between the lines.
@34 yes, 33 wasn’t me.
I’m shocked, SHOCKED I say, to hear that a highly trained, yet wild, animal would attack its trainer.
Oh, @37 my sweet muse.
@34 you affirmative action admit, clearly reading comp was not your strong suit.
Oh, @37 my sweet muse.
@33 you affirmative action admit, clearly reading comp was not your strong suit.