stephenhester2.jpgDon’t get too excited, young chippies– the bank has merely been told it’s allowed to pay out 1.3 billion pounds ($2.01 billion) as decreed by its overlords (the U.K. Treasury and U.K. Financial Investments, and the Queen’s corgis).


That doesn’t necessarily mean they will, and if they do make it rain out there it’s probably going to be a mix of debt and piss (as Stephen Hester has previously noted, the “minimum” they can “get away with”). Sorry, but the kingdom needs a coupla new flat screens and there’s talk of bringing on a third– maybe even fourth– head of global banking and markets in America to shoulder the responsibility of reaming out analysts over food-eating contests (Lyublinsky can’t do it all himself!) and ripping tickets at the elevator ride. That kind of talent doesn’t come cheap. But take heart! There are always alternative avenues by which to obtain your money.

Comments (24)

  1. Posted by guest | February 24, 2010 at 11:47 AM

    What will be first year Queen’s corgis numbers?

  2. Posted by guest | February 24, 2010 at 11:47 AM

    What will be first year Queen’s corgis numbers?

  3. Posted by guest | February 24, 2010 at 11:48 AM

    What will be first year Queen’s corgis numbers?

  4. Posted by guest | February 24, 2010 at 11:48 AM

    RBS Rocks!

  5. Posted by guest | February 24, 2010 at 11:48 AM

    uh…how did you know about Lyublinsky/the food eating contest?

  6. Posted by guest | February 24, 2010 at 11:49 AM

    @5 BL knows all!

  7. Posted by guest | February 24, 2010 at 11:50 AM

    Man, how I now wish I’d stayed in school to become a banker!!
    ~Common Crook

  8. Posted by guest | February 24, 2010 at 11:51 AM

    @7 suggestion- stop trying to make that joke happen. wasn’t funny the first or the 50th time.

  9. Posted by guest | February 24, 2010 at 11:52 AM

    guess the g-love method’s not looking so bad anymore, is it?
    -jim g

  10. Posted by guest | February 24, 2010 at 11:53 AM

    @7 FTW!!!

  11. Posted by guest | February 24, 2010 at 11:56 AM

    FTW!!

  12. Posted by NakedShort | February 24, 2010 at 11:59 AM

    Man, how I now wish I’d have dropped out of school to become a factory worker at GM. I could have retired at 47 after thirty years of low quality service and started collecting an inflation adjusted pension for the rest of my life and no copay healthcare to boot!!
    ~Common douchebag who likes to complain about other people and can’t fathom how I can be a part of the problem.

  13. Posted by guest | February 24, 2010 at 11:59 AM

    It’s gonna rain sub-notes at Beamers this Friday!

  14. Posted by guest | February 24, 2010 at 12:04 PM

    Bottle service at the Buffalo Wild Wings on Summer St. here I come!
    -RBSer

  15. Posted by guest | February 24, 2010 at 12:07 PM

    @15 I will see you there.
    -Lyublinsky

  16. Posted by guest | February 24, 2010 at 12:08 PM

    Remember how I taught you guys how to make it rain? Well I’m going to be doing that every night in Stamford.
    Dolla…Dolla….Bill Y’all.

  17. Posted by guest | February 24, 2010 at 12:14 PM

    I am available to help you with bonus issues. I am an expert at getting them and never having to give any back.
    -AIG trader

  18. Posted by guest | February 24, 2010 at 12:30 PM
  19. Posted by guest | February 24, 2010 at 12:31 PM

    Hey y’all :)
    -Chris Theoharis

  20. Posted by guest | February 24, 2010 at 1:13 PM

    fuck you. that kid was wasting company (vending machine) resources.
    -Lyublinsky

  21. Posted by volatilitysmile | February 24, 2010 at 1:21 PM

    @ NS – you have no idea how good you are in discovering hidden value. Arbitrage play?

  22. Posted by guest | February 24, 2010 at 1:31 PM

    I for one am looking forward to my $500 payable in three installments of common stock beginning in July 2013.

  23. Posted by guest | February 24, 2010 at 2:33 PM

    not happy about t his.
    -bambi from beamers

  24. Posted by guest | February 24, 2010 at 4:48 PM

    @22 – Don’t spend it all i . . .
    Ahh, fuck it. Go spend it all in one place. And at one time. Models & Bottle.

Leave a comment

You can log in with your account or comment as a guest below.