CNBC reports that Andrew Cuomo is set it announce “significant action” against a “major bank.” While we wait for the Attorney General to get his best suit on, let’s determine a) which bank and b) what he’s going to do to them. Some opening ideas:
1) Smash their faces with an iron
2) Shove a nail through their foot
3) Slap them in the face with a paint can
4) Bite off their fingers one by one
6) Snap off their necks with a crackle and pop (because they crossed Andy and messed with his shit, openin’ their trap and flappin’ their lip)
7) Nut in their eye
8) Stomp on their world
9) Piss and moan like an impotent jerk
10) You tell us
Update: Apparently its Bank of America, Ken Lewis, ex-CFO Joe Price, who Cuomo is bringing Martin Act charges against for “misleading investors about the Merrill purchase.” The above still not ruled out.
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Fine BofA $150m
Yeah, torture motherfucker what?
(Torture nigga what?)
What?
I’ll fucking
I’ll fucking tie you to a fucking bedpost
with your ass cheeks spread out and shit
Right?
Put a hanger on a fucking stove and let that shit sit there
for like a half hour
Take it off and stick it in your ass slow like
Tssssssss
Yeah, I’ll fucking
Yeah I’ll fucking lay your nuts on a fucking dresser
Just your nuts laying on a fucking dresser
And bang them shits with a spiked fucking bat
Oh
What’s up? BLOW!
I’ll fucking
I’ll fucking pull your fucking tongue out your fucking mouth
and stab the shit with a rusty screwdriver, BLOW!
I’ll fucking
I’ll fucking
I’ll fucking hang you by your fucking dick
off a fucking twelve sto-story building out this motherfucker
I’ll fucking
I’ll fucking
sew your asshole closed, and keep feedin you
and feedin you, and feedin you, and feedin you
The banks are a “cyclonic perpetual motion machine” of dumbassery.
Bank of America: make every employee put a pinch of Skoal between their cheek and gum for 24 hours.
immolate himself in the lobby of AIG’s HQ.
-@2
Disturbing.
From WSJ: “New York attorney general files civil securities fraud charges against Bank of America, former CEO Ken Lewis and former CFO Joe Price.”
I’m torn between a Cleavland Steamer and the Danza Slap.
Andy C.
@5 It’s from a Wu Tang song.
-@2
Disturbing.
Look what you did, you little jerk
He’s going to take their mothers out to a nice seafood dinner and then never call her again.
-@2
Disturbing.
What this case will reveal, more than anything else, is just exactly how the feds threatened B of A about keeping that Merrill deal intact. The feds (Treasury, Federal Reserve) will not looked good at the end of this trial.
He’ll threaten to fuck the bank until the people love him enough to make him governor.
@14 I think this is correct.
@8 it’s wang chung kid
I find it disturbing that people do not know Wu Tang lyrics.
not 2, but a fan of the Wu.
Fuck you, I don’t listen to asian music.
Look into my eyes…
What do you see…
The cult of personality….
-I have this song stuck in my head, now so do you…suck it.
He’s gotta do something about that nice write-up Paterson got in NY Magazine.
4…no, wait 6.
Hmm, NY attorney general, Martin Act, this all sounds vaguely familiar.
~She whose tits never get old
i wonder if Andy has the balls to go after the Turbo Tax. When is the investigation on GS going to start?
It’s got to involve a spiked club or if not that a stone axe. He is the caveman, after all.
@24 good point.
Going after BofA is probably the rehearsal for going after GS. I think @14 knows his/her stuff.
Moar bird stories plz
@10…classic
he’s going to have sex with their girlfriends in a very uncomfortable place.
We’re the wet bandits, the wet bandits
@24 a spit is also a possibility, but have we established whether or not he has discovered how to cook with fire?
@2. I prefer Jay-Z’s “Threat” myself.
Just let Kevin McCallister really have his way with him.
Ughh… Joe Prince – your girlfriend… WOOF!
It’s all about the balls.
no worries, the sticky bandits will rise again
@35 – it’s wet bandits
- big time daniel stern fan
@35 – it’s wet bandits
- big time daniel stern fan
@29 – What, like the back of a volkswagen?
It’s actually both the wet bandits (the original) AND the sticky bandits (lost in New York).
It’s actually both the wet bandits (the original) AND the sticky bandits (lost in New York).