• 10 Mar 2010 at 6:15 PM

Bank of America Will Steal Your Parrot And Then Make *You* Look Like The Crazy One

By

No friends of Ken Lewis

In its storied history, Bank of America has accidentally foreclosed on a few houses it wasn’t supposed to. There are a lot of deadbeats out there and really no good centralized system for keeping track of whose homes are supposed to padlocked and whose aren’t. Whatever, it’s bound to happen. Not really something we can hold against them. What we can shame those fuckers for, however, is, for instance, foreclosing on someone who actually wasn’t in default and then confiscating his/her beloved parrot. Except that wasn’t just a for instance, ladies, Bank of America really did that.

Angela Iannelli, 46 years old, alleged in a lawsuit Monday that the October incident—which separated her from her 11-year-old parrot for more than a week—caused so much “emotional distress” that she needed a prescription medication for anxiety.

A Bank of America spokesman said Wednesday a bank employee erroneously believed the house was vacant and sent the contractor there with instructions to install a new lock and otherwise “secure” the property. The bank spokesman said those instructions were inappropriate because Ms. Iannelli wasn’t in default and the house wasn’t vacant.

But maybe we’re being too hard on BofA? Maybe they took full credit for the mistake, apologized profusely and had Ken Lewis personally drive out to Ms. Iannelli’s house to bring her back her bird?

Ms. Iannelli, who owns a diner and works part-time as a bartender, said Bank of America representatives weren’t helpful when she called in to protest. They first denied knowing where the parrot was, and later told her she could go to the offices of the contractor, about 80 miles away, to retrieve the bird herself. Ms. Iannelli said bank representatives also told her they were “tired” of hearing from her, hung up on her and advised her to seek help from the police.

Nice. Real nice. You know the bird had PTSD, right?

After she drove two hours to reclaim her parrot in October, the bird initially seemed nervous, Ms. Iannelli said in an interview Wednesday.

He’s fine now, not that you care.

“He’s doing very well now,” she said.

No thanks to the dicks who, at press time, didn’t even have the decency to send over a bag of seed and a nice note.

Bank Sorry For Taking Parrot [WSJ via DI]

Comments (78)

  1. 1
    Posted by H. Paulson | March 10, 2010 at 7:45 PM

    I just stood there and watched.

  2. 2
    Posted by guest | March 10, 2010 at 8:12 PM

    I am having an Annus Horriblis. 15 more G&T’s tonight and I won’t care.

  3. 3
    Posted by KL | March 10, 2010 at 8:22 PM

    I’m not sorry.

  4. 4
    Posted by Anonymous | March 10, 2010 at 8:30 PM

    Is the back-end down or up this evening?

  5. 5
    Posted by Anonymous | March 10, 2010 at 8:48 PM

    sick bastards

  6. 6
    Posted by Anonymous | March 10, 2010 at 8:52 PM

    to pee with.

  7. 7
    Posted by Anonymous | March 10, 2010 at 8:55 PM

    You think the parrots bad? They repossessed my gerbil. And they didn’t even talk dirty to me while they did it.
    Richard Gere

  8. 8
    Posted by Brilliant McDaddy | March 10, 2010 at 8:57 PM

    The worst thing is the parrot now has a thirst for Boones and keeps yellin “Hell yes!”

  9. 9
    Posted by Anonymous | March 10, 2010 at 9:00 PM

    The failure of the DB IT department is now a bigger clusterfuck then Enron. Thanks, Fellas.
    Jeff Skilling

  10. 10
    Posted by Anonymous | March 10, 2010 at 9:13 PM

    Ken Lewis must die.

  11. 11
    Posted by guest | March 10, 2010 at 9:20 PM

    I’d like to have sloppy sex with Meredith Whitney and post the 360 minuite vid online for my DB friends.

  12. 12
    Posted by Mitch Cumstein | March 10, 2010 at 10:48 PM

    A slight towards Hank Paulson for water boarding KL, forcing him to listen, on repeat, to Altar of Sacrifice ( http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=ER5PsmWZEW4#t=1m46s ), before forming a naked pyramid with Beard, Turbo, and SheBair on his back.

    MER enslaved Ken “Fuck O’Doul’s” Lewis. Sometimes silence is a remedy for grief. Or revenge… http://wiki.answers.com/Q/Why_has_my_quaker_parrot_stopped_talking

  13. 13
    Posted by Anonymous | March 11, 2010 at 9:45 AM

    KL needed an new drinking buddy who would sit on his shoulder and curse Paulson’s name randomly……

  14. 14
    Posted by Nurata | March 11, 2010 at 10:12 AM

    How the heck can that be legal? Isn’t supposed to be some rule about not taking living beings in property-related issues? Or at least some provisions to ensure they don’t end up with people who have no idea of how to care for them?

  15. 15
    Posted by b. levin | March 11, 2010 at 12:04 PM

    @11 nobody’s interested in your sex fantasies. Keep them to yourself. You lower the readership level of this tabloid by posting this.

  16. 16
    Posted by site | March 11, 2010 at 12:06 PM

    this site is so slow you can’t post anything. there’s no point. Fire your tech dept

  17. 17
    Posted by creditquant | March 12, 2010 at 10:23 AM

    While I’m sure the claim about pills for emotional distress are completely BS, I would soak them for at least the amount of the annual salary of the people on the other end of the phone. That should give BofA an incentive to reevaluate the practice of hiring people that are fucking retarded /rahm.

  18. 18
    Posted by DEAD BY DAWN | March 16, 2010 at 1:01 AM

    BANK OF AMERICA WILL BE THE RESPONSIBLE PARTY FOR MY SUICIDE. THEY WILL NOT ACCEPT MY PAYMENTS OR WORK WITH ME. I WOULD RATHER BE DEAD THAN HOMELESS. FUCK FUCK YOU BANK OF AMERICA

  19. 19
    Posted by DEAD BY DAWN | March 16, 2010 at 1:02 AM

    BANK OF AMERICA WILL BE THE RESPONSIBLE PARTY FOR MY SUICIDE. THEY WILL NOT ACCEPT MY PAYMENTS OR WORK WITH ME. I WOULD RATHER BE DEAD THAN HOMELESS. FUCK FUCK YOU BANK OF AMERICA

  20. 20
    Posted by DEAD BY DAWN | March 16, 2010 at 1:03 AM

    BANK OF AMERICA WILL BE THE RESPONSIBLE PARTY FOR MY SUICIDE. THEY WILL NOT ACCEPT MY PAYMENTS OR WORK WITH ME. I WOULD RATHER BE DEAD THAN HOMELESS. FUCK FUCK YOU BANK OF AMERICA

  21. 21
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    BANK OF AMERICA WILL BE THE RESPONSIBLE PARTY FOR MY SUICIDE. THEY WILL NOT ACCEPT MY PAYMENTS OR WORK WITH ME. I WOULD RATHER BE DEAD THAN HOMELESS. FUCK FUCK YOU BANK OF AMERICA

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