The Daily Princetonian is running a very exciting 3-part series on “careers in investment banking and consulting.” The first article ran earlier this week. The topic was bull shit. Specifically the bull shit lies college students tell to make them feel better about their life choices.
Such as:
“Money is an attractive factor, but it’s not the real reason people go into an investment bank,” said Rebecca Yu ’11, a physics concentrator who applied for an internship at Goldman Sachs this summer. “I think — at least, I hope — that people do it because they’re genuinely interested in [investment banking].”
And:
“I mean, sure, if some people do it [for the chedder], fine — but that’s definitely not why I’m doing it,” Timothy Koby ’11 explained.
Also good:
Operations research and financial engineering professor Alain Kornhauser said the students he has known who entered these fields are generally genuinely interested in investment banking. “Who’s doing it just for the money?” he said. “To be perfectly frank, there aren’t that many that I have known.”
Competition For Careers [DP via Gawker]
If for love of the industry, then why concentrate in physics?
Princeton Sucks
Yu slore
Shut up @ 2.
And examine your motives.
Ms.Yu,
Welcome to the GS Swap desk, we don’t lie we create the illusions our clients want to see.
Jimmy “The Greek”
Princeton.
The lure of easy wall street $$ has destroyed our intellectual capital. All those physics majors who could have been designing actual products, building real things, and running real businesses, instead become sophisticated swindlers. They add nothing, but work to transfer the society’s diminishing wealth to themselves for their own hedonistic pleasures.
Is it possible that this is not apparent to all? F*ck these kids.
I do IB because it’s money for nuthin’ and chicks for free.
I can’t wait to see these nerd gooks cry
@2 sour grapes cuz you couldn’t get into Princeton? you suck
I pounded a Princeton chick in the ass once. I regretted it later.
NYU alum
@10 no sour grapes. Princeton just sucks, not as much as UBS but pretty close.
I love dog fighting. I honestly don’t do it for the money.
Yours truly,
Ron Mexico
I went to BMCC. Our eating club was Amish Mkt. on Greenwich.
Suck on my prestige, Prospect St.
“Sure, the work is rewarding and closing a great deal delivers an immense degree of satisfaction, but what was really intriguing to me was the unique ‘Bottle and Models’ culture.”
What a bunch of disingenuous fucks. They know very well its ONLY about the money. It interest them because it deals with money and they will make lots of money.
Otherwise – that physics cunt would be interning for Stephen Hawking.
Have fun updating pitch books at 3am with useful changes like “puppy” to “small dog”
Lester! You have such hostility!
This is a $4,000 sofa, upholstered in Italian silk. It is not just a couch.
I do it for the bi-weekly ass poundings.
i would never hire someone who doesn’t care about money.
Once when i was a freshman, i got a beej from the lady that lived in the attic of TI.
Princeton don’t suck
I went to Dalton, so I do not care about any of you.
Comment from original DP story:
“Dear Daily Princetonian:
Please stop glorifying the most disgusting of all professions. Do you have any idea what investment banking has done to this country? Do you have any idea the discrimination minorities and women face at investment banks? This is honestly sickening.”
I can’t wait for Mike Rowe to do an IB Dirty Jobs episode! This guy needs to STFU.
@10 haha sour grapes…you must be asian.
Wait until they’re 70 straight hours deep text-editing the shit out of a pitchbook. I’ve been there and it definitely ain’t enjoyable pal.
If you ain’t in it for the money, come work for me. I’ll pay you $5/ hour to let me punch you in the face repeatedly.
2nd @21 but also 2nd @26, too.
I went to Fordham Business. The BEST business school according to fa-moos celebrity. Its the Hollywood of the Bronx…
We go into finance not cause of the money, but out of respect to our Jesuit ancestors. Oh, and for the money.
@28 Thanks for sharing, Shia. Shouldn’t you be updating your positions on Twatter, you clusterfuck?
First, can we please start the movement to refer to anyone who works at an investment bank an “investment banker?” Seriously, either these kids are pathological liars or just completely naive, as I’m fairly certain the majority of Physics majors would rather, all else being equal, do physics than slave away with merger models, credit agreements, pitchbooks, etc for 80+ hours/week
You know, in B-school they teach you how to give a great BS answer to why you want to do IB. Ask any HBS grad why they want to do IB, PE, HF, even non-profit, and they’ll spit out a practiced, canned answer so fast it’ll make your head spin. The admittance process is geared toward finding those people with a solid foundation in BS’ing so that they only need to teach them a few pointers here and there.
I don’t suck c*ck for the money. Sure, it pays the bills but I truly *love* getting jizzed on.
~Crystal (with the vajazzles)
as they say…”Two-thirds of HBS is B.S.”
How many spreadsheet model do you need?
R. Yu
/other chinamen
I went into Finance because I had to.
Money is not the goal. The goal is to bed Greg, or similar, and his Versace briefs. I mean, where else but IB would you find such s_x-deprived crowd of male specimens at their prime of disillusionment and frustration, i.e. angry and violent? The Russian submarines are the only other option that comes close.
31 = CFA Level 2 candidate + got rejected from Univ. of Idaho
I want to go into IB to gain a solid base in finance and business.
Translated
‘I have no idea what I want to do but I like money and prestige (even if it’s from other 22 yr olds). I am also willing to take a lot of shit.’
@ 36 – he is still a better person than me. Less successful, if using money as a proxy measure. It is not all about the money. Character matters, too.
Speaking from personal experience saying to your parents and friends “I am an aspiring Powerball winner” just doesnt sound as good as “I hope to work in finance”
@ 39 – the conundrum of equally distant probabilities for the general populace. Hell, it’s easier to become the POTUS than to be doing G_d’s work. You have to be a Dimon in the rough. Lucky us…
32 ftw
HA!
Yes, making power point decks and changing fonts and alignment on pitch books 100 hours a week is the most interesting thing evar. You’re gaining valuable experience in excel shortcuts, large scale printing and ingestion of caffeine w/o cardiac arrest.
Pay attention Tigers: http://streetbonersandtvcarnage.com/blog/how-to-pick-up-strippers/
It’s a much better use of time and skills.
@ 42: Hey! Attention to detail, or not giving a shit are qualities that make or break successful businesses. These are transferable skills, too.
@36 Ah yes, I see–you are sorry, sad HBS groupie. Probably still in undergrad at Idaho State or some such (otherwise, why the Univ of Idaho reference?!) No true HBS’er would come back at me like that. Back to Zerohedge and the Yahoo Finance boards with you…
-31 (CFA, MBA, Vampire Squid alum, enjoying life)
@35 Russian Submarines ftw!
These people remind me of a “friend” who went into IB after school for “the experience”. Simultaneously he would post shameless crap on his Facebook like “Looking for any girl who is fit and likes beemers” next to the obligatory shots of his silver BMW and him on ski trips.
Needless to say he lasted about 1 year before getting canned and ended up in some no-name grad school, wondering what could have possibly gone wrong.
@ 31/45
Made it easier for your basic as$ to understand…reevaluate your motives!
-36
CFA, MBA, My Trillion > Your trillion, Will make it rain on your wife!
I should probably know this, but what are the “bulge bracket” firms? I have Goldman, Merrill/BofA, Fortis, First New York, Moelis, Morgan Stanley, and …. who am I missing?
@47 – Was his name Willy Beaman and did he keep the ladies Matt Creameran?
@49 UBS sucks.
@50, CL For the longest time I thought your name was “CoveredLog”….
@50. Dad, is that you?
@36/48 You’ve been a very diligent reader of these comment threads, I see. Your latest “comment” has recycled almost every dead cliche used in a typical DB thread. Creativity is not something you learned in public school, I suppose.
“I think the main motivation of Princeton students who are interested in finance and consulting is the desire of a high-paying job,” Mark ’12 said in an e-mail. Mark was granted anonymity because his internship applications are still pending.
“Many students also pursue ‘prestigious’ jobs in an attempt to differentiate themselves,” Mark added. “Prestige usually translates to competitive … The root of the question is, again, money.”
Future MD right here.
Haven’t these dumbfucks learned a lesson? DO NOT under any circumstances have your first and last name in same sentence with 2 words, “investment banking,” until senior Associate level.
@49 – Fortis, First New York, and Moelis are not bulge brackets. I don’t even think First NY is IB, but Fortis and Moelis are boutiques (similar to Evercore, Centerview, Lazard, Jefferies, etc.).
The only “bulge brackets” left are Goldman, BofA, Morgan, and Citi.
“Specifically the bull shit lies college students tell to make them feel better about their life choices.”
@56 – I would put Houlihan Lookey and Geoffrey’s above Citi in any IB rankings. Right?
are these kids deluded? i mean seriously? and that professor, where did he get his doctorate into the human psyche?
found rebecca yu on facebook. something terrible needs to happen to it now.
http://profile.ak.fbcdn.net/v22939/69/118/n1374900186_1.jpg
@61, yup her co-workers will be seeing that expression alot.
@61 I need to cut down on the porn intake. My first thought after seeing that was “spit or swallow?”.
I banking is soooo 2000s…..the new 2010 and beyond killin it is……………..male prostitution.
I love it Jerry!
If Becca is so fascinated with Finance, why is she majoring in Physics?
because finance is trivial and physics is not?
@66 strike that, reverse it.
-fify
Real answer as to why go into high finanz:
Because I have a serious chip on my shoulder for reason x and I want to be able to tell everyone I am actually better than them. And with the finanz monies I can then prove it with piles of cash if need be.
Point. Set. Match.
Firms create products and services that directly enhance other Firms’ products and services – this is the feedback loop of economic growth and technological progress that is responsible for modern human happiness. Finance multiplies this productive loop by efficiently allocating a firm’s accumulated cash from where it is sitting to where it is needed – allowing for much faster and cheaper economic/technological progress and possibilities. Corporate finance is the core of this socially valuable process, determining effective structures of very firms and how they are financed.
God’s Work.
-Princetonivardale MBA CFA Phil.Fin.
Firms create products and services that directly enhance other Firms’ products and services – this is the feedback loop of economic growth and technological progress that is responsible for modern human happiness. Finance multiplies this productive loop by efficiently allocating a firm’s accumulated cash from where it is sitting to where it is needed – allowing for much faster and cheaper product technology progress and possibilities. Corporate finance is the core of this socially valuable process, determining effective structures of very firms and how they are financed.
God’s Work.
-Princetonivardale MBA CFA DPhil.Fin.
Does anyone know an Asian-American that DOESN’T work in finance?
Total BS. Princeton is trying to repair its image- But forever more the tiger is known for graduating lying weasels who helped create derivatives that punctured the market. The Holier than thou Princeton image stance is such crap. Face it they represent greedy lying weasels who cling to eating clubs and this old model is not who you want on your team when the going gets tough.If the professor is not putting this out there on behalf of the school then he is delusional. Point is nobody gives a dam any more about Princetonians and all the baggage that comes with them. The guys are on the LGBTI squad and the ladies are looking for husbands so they can retire and party some more.
^This is what happens when you self-martinize over a 10 year or greater period.
Princetonians prefer not to dirty their hands touching or speaking of cash. We leave that sort of business to the losers who go to school elsewhere. It’s unfortunate that we must associate with anyone outside the orange bubble- but I suppose sometimes we must do what we must do and try to go along.
#59 That is what they are all like at Princeton enuf said. Delusional Douchebags because GREED was invented there!
@71 – the guy who just pressed my shirts at the cleaners.