As it’s been previously mentioned, Dick Fuld has been sleeping like a baby since the examiner’s report on Lehman came out. Though some would suggest the report’s findings indicate Fuld is a criminal, the ex-CEO believes it painted him in a phenomenal light. Reading the final draft also put Dick in a great mood because it took a huge weight off his shoulders. This is going to seem crazy, but apparently he was actually a bit nervous about what the thing would say about him! To the extent he could barely enjoy himself! Not even picking out the perfect outfit soothed him; my god, he could barely match shirt and tie without collapsing on the closet floor. Basically, The Gorilla was an absolute ball of nerves and you if you want Charlie Gasparino’s opinion? Kind of acted like a big puss during the ordeal. Sayeth Chaz:

According to people who know how the former Lehman CEO behaved during the inquiry, he often appeared “hyper” and “highly agitated,” and “barely stood still” during the questioning. One person with knowledge of Fuld’s behavior said that at times “he broke down” when asked about Lehman’s demise, and at others exhibited a tremendous amount of “nervous energy.”

It’s honestly a good thing CG wasn’t around to witness this display first hand, as it would’ve sickened him. Ridiculous. Gaspo didn’t say this in his report, because he works for a family network, but it would not surprise him to hear that Fuld pissed his shorts in fear on a daily basis and furthermore, that those shorts were “frilly lace panties” (Chaz’s words, not mine). But if he had been there? You can bet he’d be having none of this, and would’ve had no problem telling Dick as much, while sharing a little piece of advice. Little something like this.

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Comments (29)

  1. Posted by Anonymous | March 24, 2010 at 3:11 PM

    ERRONEOUS ON ALL COUNTS! The Gorilla would never act that way, EVER!

  2. Posted by Anonymous | March 24, 2010 at 3:18 PM

    Fuld is a turd

  3. Posted by Anonymous | March 24, 2010 at 3:19 PM

    dis fucking guy.

  4. Posted by guest | March 24, 2010 at 3:20 PM

    Not to quibble with CG, but what I heard was, (a) Dick has no patience for people who just don’t get financial accounting, and (2) some of the examiners were so shabbily dressed it made him cry.

  5. Posted by Anonymous | March 24, 2010 at 3:22 PM

    @4 definitely thinking you’re on to something.

  6. Posted by Anonymous | March 24, 2010 at 3:50 PM

    not to mention SEC porn addicts sickened him because of the contradiction with Lehman family values

  7. Posted by Anonymous | March 24, 2010 at 3:55 PM

    He also missed having his legal syncophant, Berkenfeld, by his side , agreeing with everything Fuld said (not realizing that since Berkenfeld no longer works at Lehman, but at Barclay’s, he likely has thrown Fuld under the bus repeatedly.

  8. Posted by guest | March 24, 2010 at 3:57 PM

    ‘By the end of their dealings with [Dick], the examiners … “felt sorry for Fuld ….”‘

    Pussy? Make that: Pussy like a fox.

  9. Posted by Yarsan | March 24, 2010 at 4:11 PM

    But.. did Charlie mention whether the situation was fluid?

  10. Posted by Anonymous | March 24, 2010 at 4:17 PM

    Fuld is so delusional, he will cry like a little girl when they start arresting and indiciting him and the others….stay tuned.

  11. Posted by Seaman Bodine | March 24, 2010 at 4:25 PM

    The idea that we actually discuss CG is almost as silly as the idea that Fuld ever intimidated anyone at the puss firm.

  12. Posted by Anonymous | March 24, 2010 at 4:33 PM

    tag: “you can act like a man!”

    perfect.

  13. Posted by Homo Erectus | March 24, 2010 at 8:48 PM

    Lurch.

  14. Posted by Anonymous | March 25, 2010 at 9:04 AM

    Chaz farting or commenting? Can’t tell.

  15. Posted by Anonymous | March 25, 2010 at 1:25 PM

    fuld should punch gaspo in his brain

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