Apparently it’s March Madness day on Dealbreaker and while I know basically nothing of the sport I do know these things to be true:

1) Supposedly, Syracuse knows its way around the court

2) That they’re playing tonight

3) That they have a chance to go all the way

4) That fans and alums erroneously believe that calling the place ‘Cuse is cool

I also know something significantly more important than Syracuse University: James Dimon. And the fact that he’s about to become an honorary Orangeman. And in case you’ve failed to notice, Jamie Dimon is a winner and he will not be made a fool (I’m looking at you Atlanta prosecutors). He accepted this speaking engagement on the condition that he would be addressing champions. Don’t fuck this up.

Comments (34)

  1. Posted by Anonymous | March 25, 2010 at 3:32 PM

    Bess- Come over here and I will teach you the basics. First you cup the balls……

  2. Posted by Anonymous | March 25, 2010 at 3:43 PM

    Orangemen is NOT the preferred nomenclature. Citrus-Americans, please.

  3. Posted by Anonymous | March 25, 2010 at 3:44 PM

    Is Dimon seriously having an assistant hold an umbrella over his head? For real??? What a h@mo

  4. Posted by Anonymous | March 25, 2010 at 3:48 PM

    @3 – that’s so P Diddy

  5. Posted by Anonymous | March 25, 2010 at 3:58 PM

    Not just any umbrella. A JPMorgan Chase logo umbrella.

  6. Posted by Otto | March 25, 2010 at 3:58 PM

    ahh yes, The Harvard of Central New York…..

  7. Posted by V12 | March 25, 2010 at 3:59 PM

    An Appaloosa spokesman said the firm is cooperating fully with the SEC inquiry. “Any way you slice it, the trades involved in this inquiry are not material to Appaloosa based on its balance sheet or assets under management,” the spokesman said.

  8. Posted by Bess Levin | March 25, 2010 at 4:01 PM

    @7 that was in opening bell. STAY FOCUSED.

  9. Posted by Anonymous | March 25, 2010 at 4:08 PM

    @8 / BL, I don’t know how you do it, but even that simple statement turned me on.

  10. Posted by Anal_yst | March 25, 2010 at 4:14 PM

    @9

    Down, boy.

  11. Posted by Anonymous | March 25, 2010 at 4:37 PM

    Wtf. Is this an interweb a porn chat room now?

  12. Posted by Bess Levin | March 25, 2010 at 4:39 PM

    @11 what do you mean “now”?

  13. Posted by Tax Chick | March 25, 2010 at 4:49 PM

    @BL – They can’t help themselves. Perhaps their mothers’ repeatedly dropped them on their tiny soft heads.

  14. Posted by Anonymous | March 25, 2010 at 4:54 PM

    @bess my bad. It has *always* been so. I shall name no names but Tax Chick and Cluzo come to mind.

  15. Posted by Anonymous | March 25, 2010 at 4:58 PM

    Anal_yst and Headless have been lovers with the lights on for quite some time, too.

    -a guy who knows things about people

  16. Posted by Tax Chick | March 25, 2010 at 5:01 PM

    @14 – Please… it’s been a long time happening.

  17. Posted by Anonymous | March 25, 2010 at 5:15 PM

    @2 FTW

  18. Posted by Anon4Life | March 25, 2010 at 5:21 PM

    @Tax Chick,

    Does your D hang low? does it wobble at your toes? Can you tie it in a knot? Can you tie it in a bow? Can you throw it over your shoulders like a Continental soldier? Does. Your. D. Hang. Low?

  19. Posted by Tax Chick | March 25, 2010 at 5:29 PM

    @18 – What’s with the pussy language? Afraid to type dick, dong, schlong, wanger, one-eyed monster… masturbate in the dark? Afraid to look? Blush when you go to the doctor? Grow up!

  20. Posted by Anonymous | March 25, 2010 at 5:35 PM

    GO CUSE!

  21. Posted by HAM05 | March 25, 2010 at 5:43 PM

    18 has poop coming out of his peepee, which as we all know is the grossest form of poop.

  22. Posted by Anon4Life | March 25, 2010 at 5:58 PM

    @19/TC,

    I don’t work at Citi. Maybe that’s my “problem.”

  23. Posted by Anonymous | March 25, 2010 at 6:04 PM

    Epic 2d post

  24. Posted by Anonymous | March 25, 2010 at 6:08 PM

    @23 what is a “2d post”?

  25. Posted by Anonymous | March 25, 2010 at 6:12 PM

    @24 – 2d is lawyer for 2nd. Force of habit.

  26. Posted by Anonymous | March 25, 2010 at 6:15 PM

    @25 okay…I still don’t get it…this is an epic 2nd post? (sorry, not being an asshole, legitimately don’t understand what you’re trying to say.)

  27. Posted by Anonymous | March 25, 2010 at 6:18 PM

    POST #2 WAS AWESOME!
    -23/25

  28. Posted by Anonymous | March 25, 2010 at 7:18 PM

    You can’t spell SUCKS without SU…..Go Bulldogs!

  29. Posted by Anonymous | March 25, 2010 at 7:49 PM

    SHUT IT DOWN SHUT IT DOWN SHUT IT DOWN SHUT IT DOWN SHUT IT DOWN

  30. Posted by Countstackula | March 25, 2010 at 8:00 PM

    @ anon4life

    does your thang hang low?
    Mine be dragging on tha floor
    ain’t got no room in the briefs
    I be going comando

    splooooge

  31. Posted by Anonymous | March 26, 2010 at 1:00 AM

    Ruhhh rohhhhhhhh

  32. Posted by Dolphin Fan | March 26, 2010 at 1:54 AM

    He should be visiting Le Moyne College. They beat Syracuse.

  33. Posted by John Gay | March 26, 2010 at 11:33 AM

    bess is so funny in a really good way.

  34. Posted by Professor P | April 8, 2010 at 6:02 PM

    I wonder about what JP Morgan executives will say once the media finds out about that the student body didn’t elect Dimon to be their speaker.

    One student told me that they are petitioning him to step down. If he doesn’t, the students are going to boo and turn their backs to him during his speech. That has got to be embarrassing.

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