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Let It Be Known, The CFA Will Not Have Its Name Tainted By Images Of Taints

I see your precious 3 letters and raise you 3 of my own: S a D

For those of you currently debating whether or not obtaining a CFA charter is worth flushing several years of your life down the toilet, I’d like you to consider one thing. When and if you finally do pass that third exam do you want the institute to own your ass? Budding pornographers, erotic novelists and really anyone with a taste for the finer things in life should think long and hard. Nickolas Keith Gustafsson (pictured) knows what we’re talking about. From the March/April CFA Magazine/Journal of Shame:



Since I’m always working for you, and realize that there are a sizable handful among us wondering right this second what they should be scrubbing from their own websites, I decided to check out NKG’s den of sin. Unfortunately it looks like he’s already pulled down all the images in question, which doesn’t help us. He did, however, save a list of his “Reality Thrillers” (GlamourSex, NoLimit, ANИA, InternetWar, PointRouge, NewYuppie!, Strong Attachment with Sexual Attraction, disruption @ 3G, LawMaker, PeaceMaker, euro @ RISK) and this bio:

Keith Nicklas Gustafsson MSc, CFA has a broad, international experience with an MSc in Industrial Engineering & Management as the base with a specialization in Industrial business-to-business marking from Chalmers University of Technology with part of the studies at University of California at Berkeley. He holds the Chartered Financial Analyst (CFA) designation and he has been active in industry and finance around the world. Past assignments include JDSU Photonic Power Systems in Palo Alto, Cellulose Marketing International in Westport, Ericsson and PricewaterhouseCoopers in Stockholm, Banc Boston Robertson Stephens and Mitsubishi Trust in London as well as Fortis Investments in Brussels/Paris. His experience ranges from global strategic marketing, industry analysis, strategic intellectual property management for 3G, industrial investment management, technology investment research and venture capital financed entrepreneurship, which has formed the basis for his Intellectual Capital. He has received support from celebrities all around the world to create the Reality Thrillers, ranging all the way from Madonna, Sharon Stone, Traci Lords, Britney Spears, The Sisters of Mercy, KISS, Depeche Mode, Nickelback, Kate Moss, Kim Wilde, Kate Bush to Condolezza Rice and Fist Lady Michelle Obama. Keith Nicklas Gusafsson has lived in Slottsbron, Göteborg, Stockholm, Palo Alto, Freiburg, Westport, Berkeley, Paris, Nice and Berlin as well as been a frequent visitor to Brussels. He has attended the World Economic Forum in Davos and is registered as an “important person” with the Prime Minister of Japan.

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183 Responses to “Let It Be Known, The CFA Will Not Have Its Name Tainted By Images Of Taints”

  1. Wutang Financial says:

    Guy who is going to say “CFA v. MBA, go” go.

  2. We’re hiring!

    /Macquarie

  3. Anonymous says:

    http://www.nicklasgustafsson.ws/PROFILE_2

    “Fist Lady Michelle Obama”

  4. SMP says:

    How long before the revoke the membership of all charterholder at Macquaries?

  5. Anonymous says:

    The proof is in, if you want to be a porn star, get your MBA.

  6. guest says:

    Yet another reason the MBA is better.

  7. guest says:

    “Budding pornographers … should think long and hard.”
    Got it. Thanks, Levin. Sound like good, actionable advice. The kind you might glean from an HBS case study.

  8. After he got the right to use the CFA letters, he had two options: cold calling widows from the Dallas desk, or this. He chose wisely.

    MBA> steel-cut oats > barley malt syrup bagels > milk-aholic > colon cleansing supplements > CFA

  9. Anonymous says:

    SAC > CFA

  10. Anonymous says:

    I like porn.

  11. tomba says:

    i hope labeef fails.

  12. Anonymous says:

    Registered as “an important person” with the PM of Japan? What the hell does that mean?

  13. Anonymous says:

    In the immortal words of Camus, “Suck my ass and fuck my dick!”

  14. Anonymous says:

    Have him call me.

    ~J. Gundlach
    Rabbit, AZ

  15. guest says:

    GoatseFA more like it. Surprised the WSJ hasn’t picked this up.

  16. @ 15 – you said this was a turned page, all as closed as a tin box full of lead soldiers…

  17. @9 failed level I. It’s ok, at least you get to yell at umm…sales traders? The back office?

  18. @ 18 – whatever tickles your fancy (I get really exited by thinking of barley malt syrup bagels and organic sencha, you – by thinking that CFA has any value or street cred).

    P.S./By internal policy, I am not allowed to communicate with back office, or S&T for that matter. I’d love to, as some chicks with a waistline could be observed entering the building, and they are surely not where we are.

  19. @ 18 – my agitation only leads to consumption of double-shot lattes, erratic spelling, and dyslexia flare ups. Spare the crowd, let’s settle it over a bottle of tsikoudia. My treat.

  20. Louis Winthorpe III says:

    Bess, have you been able to find any connection between this NKG character and DB’s favorite vid, Backdoor Sluts 9?

  21. Anonymous says:

    Sounds like a good item set question for the Level 2 exam??

  22. MBA & CFA says:

    I have both.

  23. @ 23 – welcome to the club.

  24. I have neither. Pretty sure I win.

  25. guest says:

    What’s the Institute’s stance on tranny porn? Just curious.

  26. Anonymous says:

    I have a GED, suckas, and I roll around in money every night and bang the hottest tail in Manhattan because I trade like a muthafucka. CFA and MBA be a waste o time for someone as effing brilliant as I am. Started workin’ as a runna on the nyse at 17 and never looked back. Made my first mil at 23 and 10 mil at 29. CFA? MBA? waste o muthafuckin time, yo. Enjoy yo dumbass reunion parties with popped collas and your talk about efficient markets ‘n shit.

  27. @ 27 – all you have is a 10 milly? My real estate portfolio is worth more than that, no liens. MF. Why don’t you run some orders for me? Enjoy the Snookie crowd, and the two bedroom in Brooklyn.

  28. Anonymous says:

    @27 – I can see it hurts. Don’t be hatin’, just know that you suck at life

  29. @ 26 – as long as you do not use the CFA, you’re golden. Otherwise, the commission could have been permanently placed by the bouncers at Marquee. They don’t care as long as the SEC does not investigates you, or you don’t use the name in violation of their policies.

    adios, squash time.

  30. Anonymous says:

    @28 – I can see it hurts. Don’t be hatin’, just know that you suck at life

  31. Anonymous says:

    @9 – I can see it hurts. Don’t be hatin’, just know that you suck at life

  32. 29/31/32 – I know, I know, now, if you excuse me, I have to undress and pop my collar up, as have a squash game lined up.

  33. Anonymous says:

    okie doak 33, I have to go nail your ugly ass wife so she knows what a dick actually feels like. Feel like I owe it to her since yo 3 inches proabably ain’t doin the trick.

  34. guest says:

    who is this “anonymous” person?

    – guy who prefers to be called “guest”

  35. three and a half FULL inches says:

    yeah, dude, 3 inches is pretty weak

  36. Anonymous says:

    is that andy dick?

  37. Anonymous says:

    There is an analungus among us

  38. trojan says:

    ha taint

  39. Tax Chico says:

    Fucking losers. Always fall back to the “my 1/2 INCH dick is bigger than yours.” Vol i thought you were a trust fund baby? That really doesn”t count …

  40. @34 good manners did not come with money, I guess.

    Personally, too much of a hassle to get it from 7 to 11 on an “ugly ass” “tail”. At least for you, anyway, as you have the snookies chasing your irresistible charms.

    Might be fun to share a twin bed with you in Versache briefs, though, you up for that?

    Oh, I forgot – inches… If you meant diameter, matey, you are very close. And, dare I say, not egg shaped.

    PS/lost the squash game, fyi. I’ll go home get drunk on single malt while you enjoy a deli sandwich & DOMESTIC. BEER.

  41. @40 – trust baby, yes; access to capital or income – no. I had to earn my way up, with a little help (some friends).

    Try overcoming being dropped like Haensel and Graetel in the Schwartzwald (ok, Freiburg, for high school) by your parents. But, you know, investments are not complex, from an intellectual point of view, so I don’t have to try that hard.

  42. NYSE says:

    CFA means “Certified to F**k Anal”

  43. Anal_yst says:

    @Volatility

    Squash you say? I haven’t played much since I showed up for an 8am match at Nationals well over the legal limit(as I’m not a trust fund baby and the “public” squash facilities in NYC are a pain in the arse), but I’m game. Probably about time I started doing more rails, less boasts, anyway.

  44. Anonymous says:

    “Versache”

    @volatility

    nice one

  45. Anonymous says:

    The CFA institute should revoke about 1/2 of their charters for the shit that went down from 2002 – 2008. Porn is on the up-and-up compared to the ethical leanings of Wall Street.

  46. volatilitysmile says:

    @ 45 – that’s what Brooklyn guides with new money buy on Canal St., no?
    Please refer to @ 20.

    Thanks

  47. Dr. Evil says:

    so…we meet again faggy la douche, how have you been?

  48. Dr. Evil says:

    so…we meet again Mr. Faggy la douche, I see you’re still alive.

  49. Greg Michaels says:

    Spade looks old there..

  50. Anonymous says:

    CAIA>CFA

  51. @ 51: bang on. CAIA > cheap booze > walking like an equus > CFA

  52. @ 44: would be like B. Fox/G. Gekko (ok, I’m younger, but still), with B. Fox (you) winning best of five (11:1,11:1,11:3; the ones and the three mostly from drop shots, boasts, and sqeezies, and dependent on lack of cardiac arrhytmia, or worse – death by exhaustion).

    I’ll drop you a line if I change my mind. How’s 1-2?

  53. Matt says:

    Most people that debate between the two (CFA v MBA) would have a hard time getting either. If you want to be a superstar, get your MBA first and then your CFA charter. BTW, I don’t care where you get your MBA from; the CFA exams will humble even the best business school.

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