I see your precious 3 letters and raise you 3 of my own: S a D

For those of you currently debating whether or not obtaining a CFA charter is worth flushing several years of your life down the toilet, I’d like you to consider one thing. When and if you finally do pass that third exam do you want the institute to own your ass? Budding pornographers, erotic novelists and really anyone with a taste for the finer things in life should think long and hard. Nickolas Keith Gustafsson (pictured) knows what we’re talking about. From the March/April CFA Magazine/Journal of Shame:



Since I’m always working for you, and realize that there are a sizable handful among us wondering right this second what they should be scrubbing from their own websites, I decided to check out NKG’s den of sin. Unfortunately it looks like he’s already pulled down all the images in question, which doesn’t help us. He did, however, save a list of his “Reality Thrillers” (GlamourSex, NoLimit, ANИA, InternetWar, PointRouge, NewYuppie!, Strong Attachment with Sexual Attraction, disruption @ 3G, LawMaker, PeaceMaker, euro @ RISK) and this bio:

Keith Nicklas Gustafsson MSc, CFA has a broad, international experience with an MSc in Industrial Engineering & Management as the base with a specialization in Industrial business-to-business marking from Chalmers University of Technology with part of the studies at University of California at Berkeley. He holds the Chartered Financial Analyst (CFA) designation and he has been active in industry and finance around the world. Past assignments include JDSU Photonic Power Systems in Palo Alto, Cellulose Marketing International in Westport, Ericsson and PricewaterhouseCoopers in Stockholm, Banc Boston Robertson Stephens and Mitsubishi Trust in London as well as Fortis Investments in Brussels/Paris. His experience ranges from global strategic marketing, industry analysis, strategic intellectual property management for 3G, industrial investment management, technology investment research and venture capital financed entrepreneurship, which has formed the basis for his Intellectual Capital. He has received support from celebrities all around the world to create the Reality Thrillers, ranging all the way from Madonna, Sharon Stone, Traci Lords, Britney Spears, The Sisters of Mercy, KISS, Depeche Mode, Nickelback, Kate Moss, Kim Wilde, Kate Bush to Condolezza Rice and Fist Lady Michelle Obama. Keith Nicklas Gusafsson has lived in Slottsbron, Göteborg, Stockholm, Palo Alto, Freiburg, Westport, Berkeley, Paris, Nice and Berlin as well as been a frequent visitor to Brussels. He has attended the World Economic Forum in Davos and is registered as an “important person” with the Prime Minister of Japan.

183 comments (hidden to protect delicate sensibilities)
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Comments (183)

  1. Posted by Wutang Financial | March 11, 2010 at 1:22 PM

    Guy who is going to say “CFA v. MBA, go” go.

  2. Posted by merkin capital partners | March 11, 2010 at 1:25 PM

    We’re hiring!

    /Macquarie

  3. Posted by Anonymous | March 11, 2010 at 1:25 PM

    http://www.nicklasgustafsson.ws/PROFILE_2

    “Fist Lady Michelle Obama”

  4. Posted by CoveredLong | March 11, 2010 at 1:25 PM

    Ummm….C?

  5. Posted by SMP | March 11, 2010 at 1:27 PM

    How long before the revoke the membership of all charterholder at Macquaries?

  6. Posted by Anonymous | March 11, 2010 at 1:30 PM

    The proof is in, if you want to be a porn star, get your MBA.

  7. Posted by guest | March 11, 2010 at 1:31 PM

    Yet another reason the MBA is better.

  8. Posted by guest | March 11, 2010 at 1:36 PM

    “Budding pornographers … should think long and hard.”
    Got it. Thanks, Levin. Sound like good, actionable advice. The kind you might glean from an HBS case study.

  9. Posted by volatilitysmile | March 11, 2010 at 1:36 PM

    After he got the right to use the CFA letters, he had two options: cold calling widows from the Dallas desk, or this. He chose wisely.

    MBA> steel-cut oats > barley malt syrup bagels > milk-aholic > colon cleansing supplements > CFA

  10. Posted by Anonymous | March 11, 2010 at 1:39 PM

    SAC > CFA

  11. Posted by Anonymous | March 11, 2010 at 1:43 PM

    I like porn.

  12. Posted by tomba | March 11, 2010 at 1:54 PM

    i hope labeef fails.

  13. Posted by Anonymous | March 11, 2010 at 1:58 PM

    Registered as “an important person” with the PM of Japan? What the hell does that mean?

  14. Posted by Anonymous | March 11, 2010 at 2:18 PM

    In the immortal words of Camus, “Suck my ass and fuck my dick!”

  15. Posted by Anonymous | March 11, 2010 at 2:22 PM

    Have him call me.

    ~J. Gundlach
    Rabbit, AZ

  16. Posted by guest | March 11, 2010 at 2:33 PM

    GoatseFA more like it. Surprised the WSJ hasn’t picked this up.

  17. Posted by volatilitysmile | March 11, 2010 at 2:35 PM

    @ 15 – you said this was a turned page, all as closed as a tin box full of lead soldiers…

  18. Posted by merkin capital partners | March 11, 2010 at 2:37 PM

    @9 failed level I. It’s ok, at least you get to yell at umm…sales traders? The back office?

  19. Posted by volatilitysmile | March 11, 2010 at 2:47 PM

    @ 18 – whatever tickles your fancy (I get really exited by thinking of barley malt syrup bagels and organic sencha, you – by thinking that CFA has any value or street cred).

    P.S./By internal policy, I am not allowed to communicate with back office, or S&T for that matter. I’d love to, as some chicks with a waistline could be observed entering the building, and they are surely not where we are.

  20. Posted by volatilitysmile | March 11, 2010 at 2:51 PM

    @ 18 – my agitation only leads to consumption of double-shot lattes, erratic spelling, and dyslexia flare ups. Spare the crowd, let’s settle it over a bottle of tsikoudia. My treat.

  21. Posted by Louis Winthorpe III | March 11, 2010 at 2:52 PM

    Bess, have you been able to find any connection between this NKG character and DB’s favorite vid, Backdoor Sluts 9?

  22. Posted by Anonymous | March 11, 2010 at 2:58 PM

    Sounds like a good item set question for the Level 2 exam??

  23. Posted by MBA & CFA | March 11, 2010 at 3:01 PM

    I have both.

  24. Posted by volatilitysmile | March 11, 2010 at 3:03 PM

    @ 23 – welcome to the club.

  25. Posted by ExtraordinaryPopularDelusions | March 11, 2010 at 3:13 PM

    I have neither. Pretty sure I win.

  26. Posted by guest | March 11, 2010 at 3:15 PM

    What’s the Institute’s stance on tranny porn? Just curious.

  27. Posted by Anonymous | March 11, 2010 at 3:21 PM

    I have a GED, suckas, and I roll around in money every night and bang the hottest tail in Manhattan because I trade like a muthafucka. CFA and MBA be a waste o time for someone as effing brilliant as I am. Started workin’ as a runna on the nyse at 17 and never looked back. Made my first mil at 23 and 10 mil at 29. CFA? MBA? waste o muthafuckin time, yo. Enjoy yo dumbass reunion parties with popped collas and your talk about efficient markets ‘n shit.

  28. Posted by volatilitysmile | March 11, 2010 at 3:28 PM

    @ 27 – all you have is a 10 milly? My real estate portfolio is worth more than that, no liens. MF. Why don’t you run some orders for me? Enjoy the Snookie crowd, and the two bedroom in Brooklyn.

  29. Posted by Anonymous | March 11, 2010 at 3:32 PM

    @27 – I can see it hurts. Don’t be hatin’, just know that you suck at life

  30. Posted by volatilitysmile | March 11, 2010 at 3:32 PM

    @ 26 – as long as you do not use the CFA, you’re golden. Otherwise, the commission could have been permanently placed by the bouncers at Marquee. They don’t care as long as the SEC does not investigates you, or you don’t use the name in violation of their policies.

    adios, squash time.

  31. Posted by Anonymous | March 11, 2010 at 3:32 PM

    @28 – I can see it hurts. Don’t be hatin’, just know that you suck at life

  32. Posted by Anonymous | March 11, 2010 at 3:33 PM

    @9 – I can see it hurts. Don’t be hatin’, just know that you suck at life

  33. Posted by volatilitysmile | March 11, 2010 at 3:37 PM

    29/31/32 – I know, I know, now, if you excuse me, I have to undress and pop my collar up, as have a squash game lined up.

  34. Posted by Anonymous | March 11, 2010 at 3:42 PM

    okie doak 33, I have to go nail your ugly ass wife so she knows what a dick actually feels like. Feel like I owe it to her since yo 3 inches proabably ain’t doin the trick.

  35. Posted by guest | March 11, 2010 at 3:47 PM

    who is this “anonymous” person?

    – guy who prefers to be called “guest”

  36. Posted by three and a half FULL inches | March 11, 2010 at 3:51 PM

    yeah, dude, 3 inches is pretty weak

  37. Posted by Anonymous | March 11, 2010 at 4:09 PM

    is that andy dick?

  38. Posted by Anonymous | March 11, 2010 at 4:37 PM

    There is an analungus among us

  39. Posted by trojan | March 11, 2010 at 5:09 PM

    ha taint

  40. Posted by Tax Chico | March 11, 2010 at 5:17 PM

    Fucking losers. Always fall back to the “my 1/2 INCH dick is bigger than yours.” Vol i thought you were a trust fund baby? That really doesn”t count …

  41. Posted by volatilitysmile | March 11, 2010 at 5:20 PM

    @34 good manners did not come with money, I guess.

    Personally, too much of a hassle to get it from 7 to 11 on an “ugly ass” “tail”. At least for you, anyway, as you have the snookies chasing your irresistible charms.

    Might be fun to share a twin bed with you in Versache briefs, though, you up for that?

    Oh, I forgot – inches… If you meant diameter, matey, you are very close. And, dare I say, not egg shaped.

    PS/lost the squash game, fyi. I’ll go home get drunk on single malt while you enjoy a deli sandwich & DOMESTIC. BEER.

  42. Posted by volatilitysmile | March 11, 2010 at 5:43 PM

    @40 – trust baby, yes; access to capital or income – no. I had to earn my way up, with a little help (some friends).

    Try overcoming being dropped like Haensel and Graetel in the Schwartzwald (ok, Freiburg, for high school) by your parents. But, you know, investments are not complex, from an intellectual point of view, so I don’t have to try that hard.

  43. Posted by NYSE | March 11, 2010 at 5:55 PM

    CFA means “Certified to F**k Anal”

  44. Posted by Anal_yst | March 11, 2010 at 5:56 PM

    @Volatility

    Squash you say? I haven’t played much since I showed up for an 8am match at Nationals well over the legal limit(as I’m not a trust fund baby and the “public” squash facilities in NYC are a pain in the arse), but I’m game. Probably about time I started doing more rails, less boasts, anyway.

  45. Posted by Anonymous | March 11, 2010 at 6:07 PM

    “Versache”

    @volatility

    nice one

  46. Posted by Anonymous | March 11, 2010 at 7:23 PM

    The CFA institute should revoke about 1/2 of their charters for the shit that went down from 2002 – 2008. Porn is on the up-and-up compared to the ethical leanings of Wall Street.

  47. Posted by volatilitysmile | March 11, 2010 at 8:01 PM

    @ 45 – that’s what Brooklyn guides with new money buy on Canal St., no?
    Please refer to @ 20.

    Thanks

  48. Posted by Dr. Evil | March 11, 2010 at 9:05 PM

    so…we meet again faggy la douche, how have you been?

  49. Posted by Dr. Evil | March 11, 2010 at 9:07 PM

    so…we meet again Mr. Faggy la douche, I see you’re still alive.

  50. Posted by Greg Michaels | March 12, 2010 at 9:08 AM

    Spade looks old there..

  51. Posted by Anonymous | March 12, 2010 at 11:21 AM

    CAIA>CFA

  52. Posted by volatilitysmile | March 12, 2010 at 12:51 PM

    @ 51: bang on. CAIA > cheap booze > walking like an equus > CFA

  53. Posted by volatilitysmile | March 12, 2010 at 1:13 PM

    @ 44: would be like B. Fox/G. Gekko (ok, I’m younger, but still), with B. Fox (you) winning best of five (11:1,11:1,11:3; the ones and the three mostly from drop shots, boasts, and sqeezies, and dependent on lack of cardiac arrhytmia, or worse – death by exhaustion).

    I’ll drop you a line if I change my mind. How’s 1-2?

  54. Posted by Matt | March 19, 2010 at 11:00 AM

    Most people that debate between the two (CFA v MBA) would have a hard time getting either. If you want to be a superstar, get your MBA first and then your CFA charter. BTW, I don’t care where you get your MBA from; the CFA exams will humble even the best business school.

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