Alan Fishman, the limo driver-cum-hedge fund manager president who admitted last year to screwing AR Capital investors just a little bit, has pleaded guilty to fraud (Fishman had caught the investing bug while driving around a bunch of investment bankers and lawyers, and decided one day to “take a crack at his customers’ game”).
A gentleman named Gary Gelman, who is Mr. Fishman’s nephew, was trying to launch a hedge fund. Although Mr. Fishman had no prior experience managing money, in 2003 he became president of the A.R. Capital Global Fund, which operated from a small office on 39 Broadway in lower Manhattan. Using cold calls, the fund lured in 70 clients who invested about $20 million.
The fund managers told investors they would buy shares in overseas real estate companies and trade currencies, oil, gas and other commodities while using “active, leveraged trading” and “fundamental and technical analysis” to make money. None of this was true, according to prosecutors. Instead, client money was invested in three Ukrainian stocks or parked in a Ukrainian money market fund. Millions more were wired to bank accounts in Lithuania, including one held by a company located in St. Kitts and Nevis.
Everything was going pretty okay until one rat-bastard of a client had to come to New York and request a meeting, which was held in a deli. That’s when things started to go downhill. Now, Crain’s reports, Fishman has pleaded guilty to conspiracy to commit securities fraud (and is scheduled to be sentenced on June 18), and has ruined it for all the legit cabbie turned hedge fund managers out there. One bad seed– all it takes.
Limo driver-turned-hedge fund fraudster admits guilt [Crain's via BI]
Someone will have to explain the fake part
All that AR Capital is missing is a ‘Q’
- just sayin’
cum-hedge fund manager?
does this have something to do w/ dental-dams for your face…to protect against airborn horse ejaculate pies?
yeah…that one was a bit of a stretch. basically i just want to write “horse ejaculate pie”
that is all
-3
@4 I see you’ve been reading bess– i mean lucas van praag’s- twitter?
So the dude was slick enough to get all these obscure offshore accounts open, but didn’t have the most critical (and really not that difficult) part, the inevitable b-line when he got found out?
Sigh…
That is an outrageous story. 20 million in cold calls. That’s some sweet rap.
@7 Seriously.
Beth -
You really need to deal with these IT assholes of yours now, and get this mess fixed. A couple of 16 year old geeks tossing off in their Mom’s basement could have had the problem fixed days ago. Hire them, and lets get back to normal.
Cliff A.
@biff- why don’t you check out the masthead and email david minkin/matt creamer?
Matt Creamer is a pretty good porn star name.
Must have been inspired by “Market Wizards”
Please stop complaining about the IT difficulties. I am working on it furiously.
Moment of silence for Corey Haim
Where the F%&k does this plug go??
He was the quintessential thespian indeed!
Anybody who invests big bucks with a limo driver who cold calls them should be deprived of all their money, and forcibly sterilized to prevent future generations of Morons from tying up law enforcement resources trying to get back money they were stupid enough to throw away…..
NS,
God fucking damnit. Just when DB starts working, Bess has to sit shiva.
See you on 03/17/2010.
I have a photo of the crack Dealbreaker IT guys latest attempt to keep the site up for more than 20 minutes!!!!
http://www.unsoughtinput.com/wp-content/uploads/2006/12/sikh.jpg
@MC/18
whatd I do?
I’ve got a guy -
NS: זכותו יגן עלינו
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=LgR0tF1XXRQ
Greggums,
I’m pulling my hair out looking for a personal item you may have taken. It was in my top drawer, is about 9 inches long and made of smooth silver. PLEASE tell me you are not using it for your technology experiments again down at the office. I need it back.
Love,
Greg’s Mom
@22 got it. The shiva thing threw me for a loop. I am not a “chosen person”.
Bess I hope you’re at least taking some vacay during this epic fail
@25 I would except that we never know when things are actually going to work. For instance yesterday AM? Working! This morning? Not so much! Tomorrow? WHO THE FUCK KNOWS.
At this point pretty much all reasonable people agree that DealBreaker’s recent technical crisis was caused by speculation in credit derivatives.
@26/BL Six words. HTTP 500 Internal Server Error Swaps.
For fuck’s sake!!!!
@23 / Dear Mom,
Yes it was me that borrowed it, but it is not like last time. I lent it to my old co-worker Bess. She said the computer guys at her place tripped on some wires agian, and she has no electricity. Since she wore out the battery on her twelve inch ebony model she asked if I could get her another one.
Greg
The amount of time Dealbreaker works and the number of tweets from Lucas van Praag seem to be inversely related
-AIG Quant now “working” as Dealbreaker IT staff
@22(NS)
Yes. You. Are.
L’chaim
@24(NS)
Yes. You. Are.
L’chaim
Can’t feel bad for morons
GS is somehow involved in this.
@ 34 Morons or not, matter turns to light, for all of us.
@ Tax Chick,
Agreed.
Bess,
I think the problem might be DealBreaker’s power source for its servers (i.e. the hamster died – check his wheel).
Sorry to get serious for 5 here, but can anyone reassure me that the VIX will return to some respectable levels? And by “reassure” I mean throw me some half-convincing bullshit.
dear breaking meadia llc,
I understand you are looking for qualified individuals in IT seeking a new challenge. If hired, I will utilize my skills to bring your operation to a level unparalled among the blogosphere.
-jr. asst. IT manager for jfk internet service, jetblue terminal
Bess, bail on the “Twitter” and “Facebook” links.
Plus the 35% of the page “sponsored content” may be what is reaking havoc with the DB website. Who reads that stuff anyway?
“media” -@39
@38 – I’d like to see the vix at 30, STAT. damn call options at 25 are about to expire next friday, fk!
I had the most absurd nightmare. I was poor and no one liked me. I lost my job, I lost my house, Itchiko hated me and it was all because of this terrible, awful VIX.
Think big, think positive, never show any sign of weakness. Always go for the throat. Buy low, sell high. You make no friends and you take no prisoners. One minute you’re up half a million in VIX and the next, boom, your kids don’t go to college and they’ve repossessed your MB SLS.
Have they checked the flux capacitor yet? That is most likely the problem.
McFly
meantime there’s always “texts from last night.”
@23, what did ever happen to Greggums?
Well at least I’m not alone. This VXX is killing me. Greg @30, make yourself useful and go scare a majority of the investing American public.
-38
@46 You are long VXX? WTF?
@38&41 – the only two ways for VXX to unfold are: moving average trends lower, or VXX goes mf up from lower bollinger.
Ironically, do I see correctly that the volatility of that biatch VXX is recently decreasing? Talk about irony here…
@47- Got it a couple weeks ago when Greece was “blowing up.” Now I’m trying to figure out when to unload. Fucking Europeans.
@vol – let’s see mkt up 60%+ from the highs, am I crazy to expect a little pullback? that’s why I’m long ~1% move in market = ~5% move in the vix.
My ass still hurts from when I was long vol last spring. Dammit I need a smoke.
-J. Simons
@cluzo- Exactly, that’s why I’m still holding on. These +/- 10 days on the dow are so obnoxious.
Get those brokers back in here! Turn those machines back onnn! Turn those machines back onnnnnnnnnnnnn!
Let’s not forget – 3 big quakes already this year, does the mkt think this will bring growth? California could an island soon, how about a little panic?
“Could be” – sorry on my bberry.
@ LW III & IC: Looking good, bros. Volatility makes me smile. It’s my second nature.
Almost makes me second guess the investment I made in my cabbie’s PE shop…almost.
Layoff the IT dept. You try combining work at McDonalds with IT and see how hard it is!
I think it’s only 99% safe investing with a company that has been around for years, although it may take time for you to get a return on it, it’s still better than losing it all.