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Mark Madoff: Back In The Game!

The gang.

A few months ago there was a tear-jerker of a story about unemployed Americans having difficulty finding new jobs. It highlighted two in particular, who’d been out of work for over a year, due to the shuttering of their company. Their names were Mark and Andy Madoff and they were having a real tough go of it lately. Nobody wanted to hire them out of fear they’d stink up the place with the smell of fish. And, you know, the taint of their former employer. It was depressing as shit, and Mark had taken to crying during interviews. Recently, Andy, along with his girlfriend Catherine Hooper, started a ‘disaster recovery firm,’ the goal of which is to help people get their affairs in order in the event of a crisis, be it natural or the kind that comes at the hands of a small dick, like losing everything to a Ponzi scheme (just a for instance!). Then there was Mark, who had all but given up asking people to keep him in mind for jobs on a trading desk or in trading technology. By this point even the fish were gently suggesting he pack it in– but the little Madoff that could would not be defeated. And finally, his persistence has been rewarded!
No one’s hired the guy (be serious), so he’s decided to do his own thang: last Friday, Mark informed colleagues and friends via email that he’s “creating a small research boutique…one of the projects will a news round-up that captures stories from most major publications.” For those interested in a piece of this, the firm will be called Strategic Research (which: might chap the hides of those with similar names not looking to be mistaken for Bernie’s second in command). Personally, I wasn’t particularly dying to know more but since I had nothing better to do and there was no info the website, I took a walk over to the address listed at the bottom of the email. I actually got sort of excited at the prospect of coming face to face with Mr. M in the two blocks between Dealbreaker and SR’s respective headquarters, which was unfortunate for me, as 319 Lafayette Street, #203? Is a UPS store where Mark has a box. Luckily was able to shake off the disappointment by continuing to drink more, but M2M needs your help. Sign up today and let’s get him into a proper office space. If you don’t do it for yourself, just do it for the laughs (not because this is a joke– just assuming there’s going to be a daily knock-knock).

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114 Responses to “Mark Madoff: Back In The Game!”

  1. Anonymous says:

    Beth –
    I think the site is still broken
    Cliff A

  2. Anonymous says:

    DB:web servers::Precious:The Oscars

  3. Stevie C says:

    Bess – I had such a good time with you that I became a voracious reader of, and commenter to, this site.

    As it no longer works but maybe 5% of the time, I’m afraid I will have to end this pseudo-stalker relationship you and I have developed. It’s too bad, too, because all weekend I tried to post comments inviting you for a personal Zamboni ride.

    Much Love,

    Stevarino

  4. Bess Levin says:

    Cliff@1 I think so too! Want to hire me?

  5. Dude says:

    Hey – I have never seen a website that removes actual words from sentences – rendering them basically incomprehsible! Congrats!

  6. Anonymous says:

    @5 welcome, mark madoff!

  7. Anonymous says:

    mark madoff@5 what’s incomprehensible about this? you, douchebag, think that there are people out there who will actually still want to do business with you. and your office = a ups box. it all seems pretty clear.

  8. “one of the projects will a news round-up that captures stories from most major publications”

    I will be interested to see how this novel idea pans out.

  9. Real players base their companiues out ofe FedEx stores, not UPS. Bush league.

  10. Anonymous says:

    @AB agreed.

  11. Anonymous says:

    capturin news stories from major pubs? Hmm, u mean you plan to steal and dissemenate proprietary info – don’t think so! Best, one of your former traders!

  12. Guest says:

    Sounds like news round up site- Drudge how original. Maybe he should have named it SLUDGE.
    Does the new office have at UPS have a doorman?

  13. Guest says:

    Sounds like news round up site- Drudge how original. Maybe he should have named it SLUDGE.
    Does the new office have at UPS have a doorman?

  14. Guest says:

    Sounds like news round up site- Drudge how original. Maybe he should have named it SLUDGE.
    Does the new office have at UPS have a doorman?

  15. Guest says:

    Sounds like news round up site- Drudge how original. Maybe he should have named it SLUDGE.
    Does the new office have at UPS have a doorman?

  16. Guest says:

    Sounds like news round up site- Drudge how original. Maybe he should have named it SLUDGE.
    Does the new office have at UPS have a doorman?

  17. Guest says:

    Sounds like news round up site- Drudge how original. Maybe he should have named it SLUDGE.
    Does the new office have at UPS have a doorman?

  18. Guest says:

    Sounds like news round up site- Drudge how original. Maybe he should have named it SLUDGE.
    Does the new office have at UPS have a doorman?

  19. techie woman says:

    Nick Scholl does a horrendous job with the Dealbreaker website. So many error messages when you try to post anything, including “you’re posting comments too quickly” when I haven’t posted even one. Great job, Nick. Keep it up, you incompetent.

  20. Clambelly says:

    This P.O.S. needs to see the inside of a prison cell for many years, along with his P.O.S. brother, their P.O.S. uncle, Bernie’s brother, Peter, and Peter’s ho-bag of a daughter, Shana, who was complicit in this scheme along with Bernie, Peter, Mark, Andrew, Frank DiPascali and others. It’s more than a little obvious to me, especially after Harry Markopolos’s testimony about how forcefully he tried to get the SEC to investigate goings-on at the Lipstick building, that the SEC watchdogs were lining their proverbial pockets with bribes or worse–actual cuts of the pie–when they deliberately elected to look the other way even as they were provided with strong evidence that they should be investigating Madoff’s scheme. It’s no secret that the US Government is corrupt–not by design of course, only by the dishonest deeds that many of its members commit. There’s no chance that the other Madoffs had no idea what was going on. Bernie admits that no trades were made, and yet Uday and Qusay…errr, I mean Mark and Andrew had one function at the firm–THEY WERE IN CHARGE OF TRADING!!!!! HELLO!!!!!????? Are we, the American people, and some of us the victims of the scheme, actually supposed to accept the notion that two men whose jobs were to RUN the trading aspect of Madoff’s firms did not realize that their trades were not being made? Preposterous. It disturbs me that some of the players in this scheme have the audacity to behave as though people are too stupid to realize this. Or, perhaps they don’t. Perhaps they are simply laughing in our faces, a bit like Peter Madoff, as he drives around in his expensive European cars and rattles around in his Garden City mansion–the former CHIEF COMPLIANCE OFFICER for his brother, Bernie’s, firm. Of course, how could a chief compliance officer know what is going on? Puhleeze. There is enough government guilt to stretch to the sun in this one, folks. Some “G” level people have become rich sniffing the Madoffs’ collective skivvies over the last decades, and they are independent enough to know that they’re going to get away with it. America–what a joke it has become. I wonder if Jefferson, Franklin, Adams, Madison and their lot ever dreamed of an America such as this. Families—your kids are in middle eastern countries risking life and limb not for the America you knew but for the America this country has become. I worry for you, that you may lose the loves of your life for imperial ventures that have nothing whatsoever to do with maintaining our democracy but rather for furthering the greedy, avaricious desires of people in our government–the same kinds of people who made their deals with the Madoffs and allowed Bernie to take the fall so that his family could enjoy many more years of luxury and comfort at the expense of innocent investors, many of whom have already lost everything including their homes, life savings and futures, while Mark, Andrew, Shana, Peter and other Madoff loyalists summer in Nantucket. What a country.

  21. Sraaen says:

    The sarcastic sanctimony of this piece makes me sick.

    By the way, whoever is responsible for this space autocompletes email addresses to a fucking dictionary.

    Mark was a great person and a great friend.

  22. for bessy says:

    wonder if bess is still having a good giggle

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