March 2010

  • News

    Write-Offs: 03.24.10

    $$$ Louis Bacon’s fund has dealt with other legal issues [Reuters] $$$ Tyra Banks’ avorite Banker Moves to Deutsche Bank [WSJ] $$$ Arrested Bank Prez Lists East 61st Townhouse for $8.5 Million [NYO] $$$ Appeals Court Stays Order to Turn Over Galleon Wiretaps [Dealbook]

    / Mar 24, 2010 at 6:00 PM
  • News

    Report: The Securities And Exchange Commission May Have Messed Up Again

    The SEC fucks up a lot. A whole lot. This is more or less a given. David Einhorn has been saying this for eons– from personal experience, having dealt with the brain trust in the case of Allied Capital–, as has Bernie Madoff who, from the jail cell in which he rots, made no bones […]

    / Mar 24, 2010 at 5:03 PM
  • News

    You Can Add Another Group To The List Of “People” Goldman Sachs Deems “Second Class Citizens”

    Goldman Sachs views a lot of “people” (using the term generously, and quite charitably) as second class citizens. Matt Taibbi, its clients, kittens, the list goes on. This isn’t a secret by any means, and even if you don’t have your own laminated copy from which to consult, it’d probably be a good assumption that […]

    / Mar 24, 2010 at 4:34 PM
  • News

    A Serious Question: How Is CNBC Going To Top The Tortoise Cam?

    I mean, yeah, things started out a little slowly but eventually this became A-game content that’s gonna be prettay, prettay, prettay hard to top. [Someone in the control room: This is is genius team but I think we’re starting to lose people so let’s really show the viewers we mean business]

    / Mar 24, 2010 at 3:55 PM
  • News

    Charlie Gasparino: Dick Fuld Acted Like A Total Puss During The Lehman Brothers Inquiry

    As it’s been previously mentioned, Dick Fuld has been sleeping like a baby since the examiner’s report on Lehman came out. Though some would suggest the report’s findings indicate Fuld is a criminal, the ex-CEO believes it painted him in a phenomenal light. Reading the final draft also put Dick in a great mood because […]

    / Mar 24, 2010 at 3:08 PM
  • News

    Layoffs Watch ’10: UBS

    Postcards from tax evasion HQ: More layoffs at UBS Wealth Management- today and tomorrow and more to come next month. My group lost a lot of EDs and about a third of the entire group. It’s a bloodbath.

    / Mar 24, 2010 at 2:45 PM
  • News

    Caption Contest Wednesday: We Don’t Have Do It In Secret Anymore!

    Cameraman: “The financial crisis is ‘over’ and with that comes the freedom for the Fed to shred confidential documents at any fucking time they like. No more 3am double secret probation ninja shredding.“

    / Mar 24, 2010 at 1:30 PM
  • News

    Kenneth Feinberg Making It Really Freaking Difficult For Wall Street Execs To Start Fresh With Their Mistresses

    While there has seemingly been an endless amount of bitching and moaning over Comp Cop Ken Feinberg’s infernal “views” on banker compensation, so far no one has actually been able to come up with a legit reason for why his freaky ass rules should be scrapped. Until now. Surely hearing that his pay structure is […]

    / Mar 24, 2010 at 12:45 PM
  • News

    What Did Bill Ackman Eat For Lunch The Day He Told MBIA’s CEO To Stuff It?

    As many of you are aware, when Bill Ackman was just a young pup of a money manager, before he was coming up with genius one-stock funds, he placed a bet against MBIA, based on Ackman’s belief that the company’s AAA rating was the stuff of bull shit.  No one had ever dared question the […]

    / Mar 24, 2010 at 12:00 PM
  • Opening Bell

    Opening Bell: 03.24.10

    Tax-Break Law Could Benefit JPMorgan (WSJ) JPM is nearing a deal that would allow it to benefit from a tax refund of as much as $1.4 billion, becoming the latest company to tap a little-noticed plank in an economic stimulus bill. That law let companies apply losses from 2008 or ’09 against taxes paid in […]

    / Mar 24, 2010 at 9:15 AM
  • News

    Write-Offs: 03.23.10

    $$$ Corzine Returns to Wall Street as CEO of MF Global [Bloomberg] $$$ To The FDIC Small Is Beautiful [TBM] $$$ SEC Employees Were Masturbating to Kiddie Porn While Your Economy Tanked [Gawker] $$$ Feinberg Caps Pay At AIG, Others [WSJ]

    / Mar 23, 2010 at 5:30 PM
  • News

    Have You Been Sexually Harassed Lately?

    Apparently the answer is yes. Whether or not your boss doing things to you with whiteboard markers is a new occurrence or you were just scared to come forward and the financial crisis for some reason gave you the courage is unclear. Since the start of the recession, a growing number of sexual harassment complaints […]

    / Mar 23, 2010 at 5:00 PM
  • News

    Moore Capital London Office Raided, At Least One Employee Arrested

    BBC: The London-based hedge fund, Moore Capital, was one of the firms raided by the City watchdog the FSA, the BBC has learned. One person at Moore Capital and five other City workers are being held. Those arrested are suspected of taking part in a long-running insider-dealing scheme. The arrests came after 16 addresses were […]

    / Mar 23, 2010 at 1:15 PM
  • News

    Few Bailed Out Bank Execs Made Good On Promises To Quit

    Remember, back in the day, when Kenneth Feinberg was named Comp Cop and everyone working at a bailed out company, who were told their asses were about to be capped, threatened to leave if he so much as dared to take a penny of their hard-earned money away? Sure you did, they wouldn’t shut up […]

    / Mar 23, 2010 at 11:00 AM
  • News

    Charlie Gasparino: Lloyd Blankfein Was Probably Due $100 Million

    Watch the latest business video at In spite of the fact that the li’l fella may have said some untoward things about CG (who in turn suggested LB do everyone a favor and quit), Chaz would like to give props were they are due.

    / Mar 23, 2010 at 10:30 AM
  • News

    Punishment For UBS Tax Evaders Actually Not That Bad A Deal

    Are you one of the UBS clients who maybe used the firm to get around paying your some or all of your taxes? Have you been considering whether or not to come forward and admit it, not because of the shame (there’s no shame in this! Except that you’re lumped in the same category as […]

    / Mar 23, 2010 at 9:45 AM
  • Opening Bell

    Opening Bell: 03.23.10

    Treasury’s Geithner Urges End to Fannie, Freddie ‘Ambiguity’ (Bloomberg) “Private gains can no longer be supported by the umbrella of public protection, capital standards must be higher and excessive risk-taking must be appropriately restrained,” Geithner said in testimony prepared for the House Financial Services Committee. Buffett May Pursue Liquor Distributors After Purchase of Empire’s Parent […]

    / Mar 23, 2010 at 9:00 AM
  • News

    Write-Offs: 03.22.10

    $$$ Wine trader has sense of opportunity [NYP] $$$ New York Fed Warehousing Junk Loans On Its Books: Examiner’s Report [HuffPo] $$$ How Nemazee Used Harvard Degree Swindling Banks of $292 Million [Bloomberg] $$$ What the Mafia Can Teach Us About Corporate Fraud [The Big Money]

    / Mar 22, 2010 at 7:45 PM
  • News

    Vikram Pandit Doesn’t Give A Rat’s Ass If You Have Money Riding On These Games

    Thought you should know, a revolt is afoot at Citi, as IT just put a block on Definitely at 388 Greenwich Street, probably firmwide. During March Madness no less!

    / Mar 22, 2010 at 4:50 PM
  • News

    Before Shoving A [Female Hormone Pill] Down Your Junior Trader’s Mouth, Consider Butching Up Your Bitches

    If women ran Wall Street, Lehman Brothers, Merrill Lynch and LTCM would all be in business today, according to this article, which today raises the debate that’s been raised just a few (million) times since the crisis started. Females are more risk averse, the presence of testosterone breeds more testosterone (whereas environments with less T […]

    / Mar 22, 2010 at 4:15 PM
  • News

    Dick Parsons: Give It Up For Vikram Pandit And All The Members Of Team Citi

    The Citi Chairman told Bloomberg today that his little CEO that could has done “a tremendous job” but “has not been given the credit that is due to him and his team. His team being all the people of Citi.” So take two today to figure out how to tell the Citi employee in your […]

    / Mar 22, 2010 at 2:40 PM
  • News

    Fund That Lost 86 Percent In A Month Has Some Wise Words To Share

    Ebullio Capital Management is the commodities fund that lost 86 percent in February, after declining 70 percent in January, and YTD, is down 96 percent. We’ve already discussed the fact that in his letter to investors, founder Lars Steffensen was able to a) offer hope, by noting his ample qualifications to come back from such […]

    / Mar 22, 2010 at 2:15 PM
  • News

    Comp Cop To Take A Serious Look At Bailed Out Bank Bonuses He Can’t Do Anything About

    Actually, that’ s not entirely fair. Kenneth Feinberg can *try* to renegotiate payments he characterizes as not good for the people. But when it comes down to it? Yeah he can’t do shit. Which is why we suggest K.Fein perform his “look back” while enjoying an herbal refreshment in Jimmy Cayne’s new executive suite (tricked […]

    / Mar 22, 2010 at 1:34 PM
  • News

    One Hedge Fund Actually Did Something About Its Impotent Weather Rage

    Remember a few weeks back when– OMG!– it snowed a few inches and nobody would shut the hell up about it? These people actually did something productive about it, other than coining terms like ‘snowpocalypse.’ “To put it simply, we were bullish on the weather,” Henrik Wennberg, a portfolio manager, said in a telephone interview […]

    / Mar 22, 2010 at 1:00 PM

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