A few weeks ago, an unnamed Securities and Exchange Commission worker got in a bit of trouble with his employer for checking out a little porn while on the job. Mystery Man made at least 1,800 logged attempts to check out some sites that included www.ladyboyx.com, www.ladyboyjuice.com, www.trannytit.com, and www.anal-sins.com, which, he admitted, “were kind of distraction per se.” But he had a good reason for what we personally think is a very mild offense, which is that he had a lot of work to do, and it was stressing him out. And without knowing the facts, many have just been so quick to judge, without really hearing the guy out, which we think is unfair, and not the way *you* would want to be treated, were you to find yourself in the position of having to defend time spent on TrannyTit. You’d want a chance to explain yourself, and since surely this fellow does too, we’ve excerpted the relevant portions of his conversation with the lawyer sent in to investigate the matter. First, some background:

Next, Q&A:

Q: Can you say how long you may have been engaged in viewing pornography? Is it a recent development?

A: I don’t know if I can give you a time frame in all honesty… I guess depending on how you define “a long time.” I think, you know, there’s clearly probably times like I said earlier, where you know, I did not look at this material, did not search for the material, you know. I think the frequency increased as I felt a little more stressed, which was kind of very cyclical in nature, I think, because then, you know, I’d have work to do and would then have to take it home and work, you know, just to keep up. And then that would stress me out even more, you know.

Q: Our records show that on Wednesday, August 20th, beginning at 3:17PM, you made approximately 385 attempts to access a website called www.ladyboyx.com. Do you have recollection of attempting to access this site?

A: I do not. But as I indicated previously, that, you know, would not necessarily surprise me.

Q: Now I’m going to show you what has been marked as Exhibit G. This is a record from that same date, August 20th, which our records show that you made over 300 attempts to access a website called www.ladyboyjuice.com. Do you have any recollection of attempting to access this site?

A: I do not have any specific recollection on this site. But, as I indicated, on this specific day, I would not be surprised if I clicked a website on of those day.

Q: Do you view these images often?

A: It depends…define ‘often.’ For the most part, I’m not spending my day just searching or looking. It’s kind of one of those things where I felt really stressed, and it was kind of there. And, I, you know, I guess didn’t have necessarily the self-control not to look. But it was definitely not something where I was spending my whole day looking at it, you know. It would be something if I looked at it, I’d open it up and look at it for a short period of time and then, you know go back to working on what I’m working on. To my recollection, I don’t know if I’ve ever broken away more than say twice in a particular day to spend time looking at it.

SEC Porn FOIA [PDF]

99 comments (hidden to protect delicate sensibilities)
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Comments (99)

  1. Posted by Anonymous | March 2, 2010 at 2:47 PM

    Stuff like this happens in the Breaking Media IT Department all the time, its no big deal.

  2. Posted by Anonymous | March 2, 2010 at 3:41 PM

    Breaking Media brought in that new guy to play editor and now the site rarely works. Just let Bes run free on Blogger

  3. Posted by Chilean Looter | March 2, 2010 at 3:41 PM

    10-gimlet lunch and this is what we get? Pff.

  4. Posted by Chilean Looter | March 2, 2010 at 3:41 PM

    10-gimlet lunch and this is what we get? Pff.

  5. Posted by Chilean Looter | March 2, 2010 at 3:41 PM

    10-gimlet lunch and this is what we get? Pff.

  6. Posted by Anonymous | March 2, 2010 at 3:46 PM

    Bess, I had a 15 giblett(sp) lunch. I’m on the train home.

    – masumoto

  7. Posted by Investorcluzo | March 2, 2010 at 3:48 PM

    damn! I gave up internet porn for lent, how am I supposed to investigate these “allegations?”

    @chilean – agreed, bess should be entitled to more 10 gimlet lunches…but you got to go easy on the “post” button.

  8. Posted by Bess Levin | March 2, 2010 at 3:51 PM

    @3-5 blow a goat.

  9. Posted by Guest | March 2, 2010 at 3:51 PM

    I’m still on the legacy dealbreaker site. It’s very cool here.

    If the lawyer handling the investigation is SEC IA, this guy has nothing to worry about.

  10. Posted by Anonymous | March 2, 2010 at 3:58 PM

    Where is this heritage dealbreaker site you speak of?

  11. Posted by Mitch Cumstein | March 2, 2010 at 4:05 PM

    Anal_sins, any thoughts on the matter?

  12. Posted by The ghost of Guest @ 3:18 | March 2, 2010 at 4:11 PM

    Let’s see what we got here: A guy likes to look at the trannies.
    Any different than DB? To Wit:

    Q: Can you say how long you may have been engaged in viewing the DealBreaker website? Is it a recent development?

    A: I don’t know if I can give you a time frame in all honesty… I guess depending on how you define “a long time.” I think, you know, there’s clearly probably times like I said earlier, where you know, I did read about JT’s comode or Pandito’s zen garden, did not search for the material, you know. I think the frequency increased as I felt a little more stressed, which was kind of very cyclical in nature, I think, because then, you know, I’d have work to do and would then have to take it home and work, you know, just to keep up. And then that would stress me out even more, you know – I would spend all night reading about LD’s twizzler fetish or Ping’s thing for dry erase markers.

    Q: Our records show that on Wednesday, August 20th, beginning at 3:17PM, you made approximately 385 attempts to access a website called businessinsider.com . Do you have recollection of attempting to access this site?

    A: I do not. But as I indicated previously, that, you know, would not necessarily surprise me. There is very rarely anything worth reading on the site anyway.

    Q: Now I’m going to show you what has been marked as Exhibit G. This is a record from that same date, August 20th, which our records show that you made over 300 attempts to access a website called zerohedge.com . Do you have any recollection of attempting to access this site?

    A: I do not have any specific recollection on this site. But, as I indicated, on this specific day, I would not be surprised if I clicked a website on of those day since I was wearing my tinfoil hat.

    Q: Do you view these websites often?

    A: It depends…define ‘often.’ For the most part, I’m not spending my day just searching or looking. It’s kind of one of those things where I felt really stressed, and it was kind of there. And, I, you know, I guess didn’t have necessarily the self-control not to look. But it was definitely not something where I was spending my whole day looking at it, you know- how many times can you read a story about CG’s amazing pecs or KL and the Boone’s Farm? It would be something if I looked at it, I’d open it up and look at it for a short period of time and then, you know go back to working on what I’m working on. To my recollection, I don’t know if I’ve ever broken away more than say twice in a particular day to spend time reading Bess Levin’s witty commentary.

  13. Posted by Anonymous | March 2, 2010 at 4:20 PM

    CFA or MBA?

  14. Posted by Anonymous | March 2, 2010 at 4:23 PM

    @12 “To my recollection, I don’t know if I’ve ever broken away more than say twice in a particular day to spend time reading Bess Levin’s witty commentary.”

    not more than twice? then you must have a very empty life.

  15. Posted by Anonymous | March 2, 2010 at 4:34 PM

    How do we know this isn’t a hoax to promote Breaking Media’s latest affiliated websites, the flagship obviously being trannytit.com

  16. Posted by Anonymous | March 2, 2010 at 4:59 PM

    @15: that’s not likely, trannytit.com seems to have its IT shit together

  17. Posted by Anal_yst | March 2, 2010 at 5:05 PM

    Ah, I see the conversion to WordPress is finally showing some progress, good to know.

    Also, I’d venture a guess if one were to do an anonymous survey of DB readers, some of those very same websites would be among those visited.

  18. Posted by williambanzai7 | March 2, 2010 at 8:17 PM

    I would argue that by limiting access, the SEC is preventing its investigators from understanding their adversaries.

  19. Posted by williambanzai7 | March 2, 2010 at 8:25 PM
  20. Posted by Anonymous | March 2, 2010 at 9:11 PM

    Who tries 385 times to access a site that pops up “Access Denied” the first time? He should have suggested that a virus was sending out phantom clicks.

  21. Posted by Chris | March 3, 2010 at 8:21 AM

    he should spend time on http://cnbcbeauties.com instead

    if there’s a tranny on that site, it’s like the mona lisa of transvestites

  22. Posted by Dr. P. Jiang | March 3, 2010 at 1:30 PM

    The SAC, I mean the SEC, employs excellent judgment.

  23. Posted by sl | March 3, 2010 at 1:40 PM

    When is http://www.trannytit.com going public? I want to buy stock.

  24. Posted by jackintosh | April 4, 2010 at 12:44 PM

    Shouldn’t a guy whose job it is to investigate some of the most complex financial dealings know how to get around the porn blocker? And don’t these d*ck heads know that just because you didn’t print it, doesn’t mean there isn’t a “paper” trail??

    These tech un-savvy dinosaurs need to be put into early retirement so the rest of us can keep moving forward. Or they should at least go get iPads so they can browse porn from the toilet on their own AT&T bills.

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  99. Posted by Jared | March 31, 2014 at 5:35 PM

    "A few weeks ago, an unnamed Securities and Exchange Commission worker got in a bit of trouble with his employer for checking out a little porn while on the job. Mystery Man made at least 1,800 logged attempts to check out some sites that included http://www.ladyboyx.com, http://www.ladyboyjuice.com, http://www.trannytit.com, and http://www.anal-sins.com, which, he admitted, “were kind of distraction per se.” But he had a good reason for what we personally think is a very mild offense, which is that he had a lot of work to do, and it was stressing him out."

    This is truly too friggin funny. Not so much for the dude who got fired though. But hey, who doesn't know by this point that employers can see exactly what sites you visit if they decide to look? Kind of stupid and stupid deserves to be punished imo.