• 24 Mar 2010 at 1:30 PM

Caption Contest Wednesday: We Don’t Have Do It In Secret Anymore!

By

Cameraman: “The financial crisis is ‘over’ and with that comes the freedom for the Fed to shred confidential documents at any fucking time they like. No more 3am double secret probation ninja shredding.“

Comments (29)

  1. 1
    Posted by Anonymous | March 24, 2010 at 1:37 PM

    I feel the same way about this site. No longer need to hide posts behind fake crappy IT issues. Post them for the public!

  2. 2
    Posted by CoveredLong | March 24, 2010 at 1:39 PM

    Every time I walk by a spy shop, I think that I need to put some surveillance on somebody. Rick’s been acting fishy! I need to buy a safe that looks like a Spray ‘N Wash can. “Hey, Mitch, can I use the Spray ‘N Wash?” “Yeah, if you want to spray your shirt with DOCUMENTS!”

    -Mitch

  3. 3
    Posted by Bess Levin | March 24, 2010 at 1:39 PM

    @1 I’m not ready to joke about the IT issues until they’re actually over.

  4. 4
    Posted by Anonymous | March 24, 2010 at 1:54 PM

    WTF, how is this not a caption contest. Now that Bess is a published “journalist” and is eating fatty tuna with Jim Chanos, she’s getting complacent.

  5. 5
    Posted by Anonymous | March 24, 2010 at 1:56 PM

    @Bess, IT issues are never, ever over.

    -Wayne Brady

  6. 6
    Posted by Bess Levin | March 24, 2010 at 1:59 PM

    @4 please. I didn’t make it a caption contest b/c if you haven’t noticed we’ve been having severe to ass-rippingly severe tech issues that have made it difficult to comment (and say, leave a caption) as recently as…this morning. But there, I added the CC. I don’t want to upset you my special princess.

  7. 7
    Posted by Anonymous | March 24, 2010 at 2:03 PM

    Bess, you can never say ass-rippingly enough for me. Your brains and filthy mouth are enough to drive this white boy from Virginia crazy.

  8. 8
    Posted by Anonymous | March 24, 2010 at 2:06 PM

    “white boy from Virginia”

    Redundant. Please amend.

    -MD

  9. 9
    Posted by Anonymous | March 24, 2010 at 2:10 PM

    @Bess – your IT issues are like a toyota, they will never stop, no matter how hard you try.

  10. 10
    Posted by Anonymous | March 24, 2010 at 2:19 PM

    @4 – if you were so jazzed up about it, why didn’t you START the caption contest?

    Mine: “Sorry we’re a bit late. Is Mr. Madoff available?”

  11. 11
    Posted by Anonymous | March 24, 2010 at 2:20 PM

    It’s not a real caption contest guys. It’s fake, like bess’s tits, dont participate.

  12. 12
    Posted by Anonymous | March 24, 2010 at 2:30 PM

    I’d be partial to a Lightning the Tortoise caption contest (w/ Erin Burnett’s can poised tight right nearby).

  13. 13
    Posted by guest | March 24, 2010 at 2:30 PM

    Hey, where’s Yael been?

  14. 14
    Posted by Anonymous | March 24, 2010 at 2:31 PM

    @10 – bravo.

  15. 15
    Posted by Anonymous | March 24, 2010 at 2:33 PM

    I just unmuted CNBC; wtf is going on?

  16. 16
    Posted by Anonymous | March 24, 2010 at 2:35 PM

    Bess, why does the whiny bitch get to be your special princess?

  17. 17
    Posted by Anonymous | March 24, 2010 at 2:48 PM

    On orders from his vampire squid overlords, Dudley tells the CodeShred drivers to drive against traffic on the one-way street. Dudley does not ask why. Dudley does as he is told.

  18. 18
    Posted by volatilitysmile | March 24, 2010 at 3:05 PM

    No one will find out if you swallow the evidence…

  19. 19
    Posted by Anonymous | March 24, 2010 at 3:12 PM

    @18 As punishment, Officer Rabbit and I are gonna sit here and watch you smoke the whole bag

  20. 20
    Posted by guest | March 24, 2010 at 3:42 PM

    “We’re here for Maiden Lane III.”

  21. 21
    Posted by Spanishmoon | March 24, 2010 at 3:47 PM

    “Ben – The truck you sent over isn’t big enough” – Bill Dudley

  22. 22
    Posted by guest | March 24, 2010 at 3:48 PM

    The Federal Reserve formally announces the acceptance of shredded paper as collateral.

  23. 23
    Posted by guest | March 24, 2010 at 3:58 PM

    A novel approach to draining excess reserves.

  24. 24
    Posted by figuy | March 24, 2010 at 4:01 PM

    apple savings bank on 72nd and b’Way.

  25. 25
    Posted by Tito | March 24, 2010 at 4:22 PM

    @24, similar concrete brick look to the apple bldg on 73rd, but note the maiden lane street sign, not to mention the Brooklyn bridge bikeway sign, biatch biatch.

    Serious question: I’m all for privatization, but shouldn’t the Fed exercise more control over document shredding? Maybe they shouldn’t be using some dodgy 3rd party shredding service?

  26. 26
    Posted by ImaShredYoAss | March 24, 2010 at 5:37 PM

    @25 who you callin’ dodgy, bitch?

    you got a facebook fanpage? thought so.

    http://www.facebook.com/pages/Valley-Stream-NY/Code-Shred-Ltd/34038915338

    remember –
    code shred
    “where your business is nobody’s business”

  27. 27
    Posted by Anal_yst | March 24, 2010 at 5:39 PM

    I’ve seen that truck there before, although usually after-dark, cus they’re crafty like that over @ the Fed

  28. 28
    Posted by ImaShredYoAss | March 24, 2010 at 5:49 PM

    Anal knows what’s up. The Fed only trusts the Shred.

    remember –
    code shred
    “where your business is nobody’s business”

  29. 29
    Posted by Finnastica | March 24, 2010 at 10:41 PM

    Fed orders Chinese, calls wrong number