Caption Contest Wednesday: We Don’t Have Do It In Secret Anymore!

Cameraman: “The financial crisis is ‘over’ and with that comes the freedom for the Fed to shred confidential documents at any fucking time they like. No more 3am double secret probation ninja shredding.

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29 Responses to “Caption Contest Wednesday: We Don’t Have Do It In Secret Anymore!”

  1. Anonymous says:

    I feel the same way about this site. No longer need to hide posts behind fake crappy IT issues. Post them for the public!

  2. CoveredLong says:

    Every time I walk by a spy shop, I think that I need to put some surveillance on somebody. Rick’s been acting fishy! I need to buy a safe that looks like a Spray ‘N Wash can. “Hey, Mitch, can I use the Spray ‘N Wash?” “Yeah, if you want to spray your shirt with DOCUMENTS!”


  3. Bess Levin says:

    @1 I’m not ready to joke about the IT issues until they’re actually over.

  4. Anonymous says:

    WTF, how is this not a caption contest. Now that Bess is a published “journalist” and is eating fatty tuna with Jim Chanos, she’s getting complacent.

  5. Anonymous says:

    @Bess, IT issues are never, ever over.

    -Wayne Brady

  6. Bess Levin says:

    @4 please. I didn’t make it a caption contest b/c if you haven’t noticed we’ve been having severe to ass-rippingly severe tech issues that have made it difficult to comment (and say, leave a caption) as recently as…this morning. But there, I added the CC. I don’t want to upset you my special princess.

  7. Anonymous says:

    Bess, you can never say ass-rippingly enough for me. Your brains and filthy mouth are enough to drive this white boy from Virginia crazy.

  8. Anonymous says:

    “white boy from Virginia”

    Redundant. Please amend.


  9. Anonymous says:

    @Bess – your IT issues are like a toyota, they will never stop, no matter how hard you try.

  10. Anonymous says:

    @4 – if you were so jazzed up about it, why didn’t you START the caption contest?

    Mine: “Sorry we’re a bit late. Is Mr. Madoff available?”

  11. Anonymous says:

    It’s not a real caption contest guys. It’s fake, like bess’s tits, dont participate.

  12. Anonymous says:

    I’d be partial to a Lightning the Tortoise caption contest (w/ Erin Burnett’s can poised tight right nearby).

  13. guest says:

    Hey, where’s Yael been?

  14. Anonymous says:

    @10 – bravo.

  15. Anonymous says:

    I just unmuted CNBC; wtf is going on?

  16. Anonymous says:

    Bess, why does the whiny bitch get to be your special princess?

  17. Anonymous says:

    On orders from his vampire squid overlords, Dudley tells the CodeShred drivers to drive against traffic on the one-way street. Dudley does not ask why. Dudley does as he is told.

  18. No one will find out if you swallow the evidence…

  19. Anonymous says:

    @18 As punishment, Officer Rabbit and I are gonna sit here and watch you smoke the whole bag

  20. guest says:

    “We’re here for Maiden Lane III.”

  21. Spanishmoon says:

    “Ben – The truck you sent over isn’t big enough” – Bill Dudley

  22. guest says:

    The Federal Reserve formally announces the acceptance of shredded paper as collateral.

  23. guest says:

    A novel approach to draining excess reserves.

  24. figuy says:

    apple savings bank on 72nd and b’Way.

  25. Tito says:

    @24, similar concrete brick look to the apple bldg on 73rd, but note the maiden lane street sign, not to mention the Brooklyn bridge bikeway sign, biatch biatch.

    Serious question: I’m all for privatization, but shouldn’t the Fed exercise more control over document shredding? Maybe they shouldn’t be using some dodgy 3rd party shredding service?

  26. @25 who you callin’ dodgy, bitch?

    you got a facebook fanpage? thought so.

    remember –
    code shred
    “where your business is nobody’s business”

  27. Anal_yst says:

    I’ve seen that truck there before, although usually after-dark, cus they’re crafty like that over @ the Fed

  28. Anal knows what’s up. The Fed only trusts the Shred.

    remember –
    code shred
    “where your business is nobody’s business”

  29. Finnastica says:

    Fed orders Chinese, calls wrong number