• 09 Apr 2010 at 10:53 AM
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Caption Contest Friday


Photo: New York Mag

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  1. Posted by Anonymous | April 9, 2010 at 10:57 AM

    how fuckin’ long I gotsta wait for my pasta?

  2. Posted by Guesty Guest | April 9, 2010 at 10:58 AM

    Here’ lookin’ at you, gabagool.

  3. Posted by anon | April 9, 2010 at 10:58 AM

    John Gotti Jr. on a blackberry? Thought La Cosa Nostra didn’t use email for fear of e-surveillance.

  4. Posted by PermaGuest | April 9, 2010 at 11:03 AM

    Nice bracelet.

  5. Posted by Anonymous | April 9, 2010 at 11:04 AM

    Dis and dat
    Dat and dis
    Dis, dat, da other

  6. Posted by Anonymous | April 9, 2010 at 11:06 AM

    hey presses 4 buttons every time that gorilla thumb tries to type something. he’s trying to text his braciole

  7. Posted by Anonymous | April 9, 2010 at 11:09 AM

    you looking at me?

  8. Posted by Anonymous | April 9, 2010 at 11:09 AM

    How you doin’?

  9. Posted by Anonymous | April 9, 2010 at 11:11 AM

    whaddaya mean I look Jewish?

  10. Posted by Anonymous | April 9, 2010 at 11:12 AM

    The building nods to the brutalist tradition with its concrete frame construction and regularly repeating facade, in this case marked by uniformly unimaginative fenestration.

  11. Posted by Anonymous | April 9, 2010 at 11:15 AM

    Equinox, steam room, 1 hour. Dats it. Period. Paragraph.

  12. Posted by Anonymous | April 9, 2010 at 11:16 AM

    By law, I’m required to notify you that I have recently moved into your neighborhood and of my…err, past criminal history.

  13. Posted by Anonymous | April 9, 2010 at 11:16 AM

    “I just don’t get why da people’s so crazy bout dis Brickabreaka.”

  14. Posted by NakedShort | April 9, 2010 at 11:22 AM

    On Blackberry Screen

    Have you ever had a golden shower done to you? … just morbid curiosity.

  15. Posted by Anal_yst | April 9, 2010 at 11:24 AM

    Either Charlie’s got the liver of a champ or raging cirrosis, seriously, guy slams martinis like they’re water.

  16. Posted by Anonymous | April 9, 2010 at 11:25 AM

    suit is from Men’s Warehouse

  17. Posted by Anonymous | April 9, 2010 at 11:26 AM

    So for four hundred bucks an hour, you’ll let me leave my socks on?

  18. Posted by Anonymous | April 9, 2010 at 11:26 AM

    Bess, stop ignoring me. I’ve been sittin here for 3 hours.

  19. Posted by ChaPlease | April 9, 2010 at 11:30 AM

    Yuh Im mass textin some eighteen and ups that I met at the club last night. Jagerbombs fuckin’ love jagerbombs.

  20. Posted by Anonymous | April 9, 2010 at 11:32 AM

    Still tryin’ to get Hank on da record.

  21. Posted by Anonymous | April 9, 2010 at 11:44 AM

    He looks like Spock.

  22. Posted by Anonymous | April 9, 2010 at 11:46 AM

    @16 you’re gonna like the way you look
    - gasbag

  23. Posted by Anonymous | April 9, 2010 at 11:49 AM

    Yeah, I’ve been blessed in life: I scoop financial news like I work for goddamn TMZ, I have pectorals like a bronze statue, and the glasses of a fucking scientist.

  24. Posted by Seaman Bodine | April 9, 2010 at 11:51 AM

    is that mickey rourke?

  25. Posted by The Dude | April 9, 2010 at 12:03 PM

    How is it a caption contest if Bess wins it in a tag?

    you people are all unfunny fucknuts. Having said that, there is much win here (@11).

  26. Posted by Gozer | April 9, 2010 at 12:06 PM

    I’ll get the papers the papers

  27. Posted by Anonymous | April 9, 2010 at 12:08 PM

    Get the fuck outta my way asshole, I’m tryin’ to change the channel.

  28. Posted by Pfluger the Barbarian | April 9, 2010 at 12:20 PM

    Everyone fears me. When I wawked into dat restaurant, all da other patrons fled, in terror and awe, ya know.

    -CG

  29. Posted by Anonymous | April 9, 2010 at 12:23 PM

    imagine what it’s like to be fisted by one of those things.

  30. Posted by US Sniper Corps | April 9, 2010 at 12:23 PM

    Target acquired, locked, permission to fire.

  31. Posted by Pfluger the Barbarian | April 9, 2010 at 12:25 PM

    @30: Send it.

  32. Posted by Anal_yst | April 9, 2010 at 12:25 PM

    Oh, Smug, you should have posted this here:

    Account: Gasparino, Charles
    Credit Card: Visa ending in “2245″
    Date: 071009
    Room:………………………$325.00
    State Tax………………….. 26.82
    City Tax…………………… 8.12
    Gambling Tax…………… 2.00
    SERVICES
    Concierge………………… 25.00
    Missing Robe……………. 45.00
    Settlement: Towel Boy.. 500.00
    Sauna: Hair Removal…. 125.00
    Sauna: Skim off “AXE”.. 95.00
    Room Service
    Dayglo Red Swim Cap… 15.00
    Mermaid Floaties (2)….. 10.00
    Nose Plugs………………. 5.00
    Flesh Color Snorkel…… 10.00
    Bodybuild Poser Book.. 15.00
    Michael Phelps Goggles 22.00
    Meatball Sandwich……. 8.75
    Rulebook for Marco/Polo 4.00
    Limo to BunnyRanch…… 325.00
    BunnyRanch Cancel Fee… 100.00
    “Scream Mask” (1)……….. 25.00
    Air Force Amy Magazine.. 25.00
    Cornhuskers Lotion……… 9.00

  33. Posted by Anonymous | April 9, 2010 at 12:27 PM

    29 = maria

  34. Posted by Anonymous | April 9, 2010 at 12:30 PM

    @anal_yst, come on now, you haven’t realized that smug posts DB jokes on NYMag where he can take credit for them as opposed to their originators, like the hotel receipt guy, the [blank says this but the blank says that] guy, etc?

  35. Posted by RobinHoodlum | April 9, 2010 at 12:36 PM

    I want to find out what your thinking was. I want to find out what your feelings are…and did you learn anything?

  36. Posted by muchado | April 9, 2010 at 12:39 PM

    NS wins it …

  37. Posted by Pfluger the Barbarian | April 9, 2010 at 1:09 PM

    Gaspo: “Now, which fucking button do I push on this godamned thing to get the bluetooth function to work in my Scion? My high level contacts wanna talk to me!”

  38. Posted by Anonymous | April 9, 2010 at 1:11 PM

    Man, all of you out of work “wanna be” hedge fund analysts need to get back to sending resumes on Monster.

  39. Posted by Pfluger the Barbarian | April 9, 2010 at 1:17 PM

    @38/Chaz:

    Did you get the bluetooth function to work on that blackberry, or did you trash the thing a minute after the photo was snapped?

  40. Posted by Anonymous | April 9, 2010 at 1:17 PM

    @38 “Since then, Ms. Levin has elbowed her way into an exclusive and still heavily male club, becoming a must-read not only for $250,000-a-year-bonus investment bank drones wondering which boss’s head is about to roll, but also among the corner-office types themselves. Financial powerhouses like JPMorgan Chase’s Jamie Dimon, as well as hedge fund managers like Steve Cohen, Dan Loeb, and Ken Griffin, are known to visit the site.”

    you need to get back to buying a clue before commenting again from mom’s basement.

  41. Posted by Tax Chick | April 9, 2010 at 1:47 PM

    @40 get’s props for pulling that quote in under 6 minutes.

  42. Posted by guest | April 9, 2010 at 1:49 PM

    Who barbed Spock’s ears?????

  43. Posted by Anonymous | April 9, 2010 at 1:58 PM

    “Wait…it’s eros.com?”

  44. Posted by Pfluger the Barbarian | April 9, 2010 at 2:00 PM

    Is is just me, or does Chaz look like he has very narrow shoulders in that photo, relative to the size of his head?

    And his neck…. Anyone else thinking “pencil necked geek?”

  45. Posted by Anonymous | April 9, 2010 at 2:00 PM

    @32 — hilarious. Missing robe. Hilarious. Nice work.

  46. Posted by Anonymous | April 9, 2010 at 2:01 PM

    @43 FT fucking W!!!!!!!

  47. Posted by Pfluger the Barbarian | April 9, 2010 at 2:02 PM

    But… the stubble on his unshaven mug seems to match his suit perfectly. Nice touch for the Jabroni.

  48. Posted by The Dude | April 9, 2010 at 2:06 PM

    @46 = Spitzer

  49. Posted by Anonymous | April 9, 2010 at 2:42 PM

    Yes it’s really dat big, now keep walkin’ before I drop in the the Hudson with a set a cement sneaka’s

  50. Posted by Jeff Lageman Rulz | April 9, 2010 at 2:48 PM

    (punchdrunk from 1 too many blows to the head from his boxing days)

    how come this remote don’t work?

  51. Posted by Jeff Lageman Rulz | April 9, 2010 at 2:52 PM

    (Charlie, drafting email…)

    “Dearest Lloyd Blankfein:

    I hopes this finds you good Health. I AM the deposed King of Financials journlsm and seeking the aid of Trusted Partner for sum of US$100 millions for deposit out of the Kingdom bank accounts. YOu must not Tell AnyONE as this matters Quiet confidntial.”

  52. Posted by OBL | April 9, 2010 at 3:14 PM

    That freaking plastic surgeon! I said I want the face of Shia Lebeouf I ended up with Charlie Gasbag’s.

    -O.Bin Laden

  53. Posted by D Rok | April 9, 2010 at 3:19 PM

    In honor of San Magdalen of Cosa Nostra, gonna give yooz guyz two.

    1) OK, want to make sure the flash doesn’t off when I get this fuckin’ awesome upskirt. Lloyd will never believe it!!

    2) Yea, I’m texting my friend, continue with ur inqueery, Bess… now go ahead and cross those legs again my little commando bubbala.

  54. Posted by Anonymous | April 9, 2010 at 3:23 PM

    @42 My thoughts exactly

  55. Posted by MarshallStack | April 9, 2010 at 3:24 PM

    WAit. WAit. So you are sayin I tip on da number ABOVE da tax? Dis is fucked – no multiply sign thing – ya know the X. WTF? Just stars and shit.

  56. Posted by Pfluger the Barbarian | April 9, 2010 at 3:32 PM

    “Hey, you bastid! You fuckin’ interrupt me when I had my highest score goin’ yet on Brick-Breaker???! Do you know who I am, you fuckin’ dweeb?”

  57. Posted by Anonymous | April 9, 2010 at 3:43 PM

    Aftermath of Fashion Meets Finance…

  58. Posted by Pfluger the Barbarian | April 9, 2010 at 3:47 PM

    “Do I look like a pussy to you??! Get me a fuckin’ pastry pie.”

    http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=1Ynrh5utUg0

  59. Posted by Anonymous | April 9, 2010 at 3:49 PM

    X marks the mope!

  60. Posted by Anonymous | April 9, 2010 at 4:40 PM

    it’s Jim’s Dad.. from American Pie
    aka Eugene Levy

  61. Posted by Anonymous | April 9, 2010 at 6:53 PM

    Is his hair real?

    D Donald

  62. Posted by Loser | April 9, 2010 at 11:49 PM

    @35&52…..EPOCH!

  63. Posted by jgonzz | April 11, 2010 at 10:28 AM

    How do you spell ‘hermaphrodite’?

  64. Posted by Nicky D | April 11, 2010 at 4:02 PM

    I need an I Phone, does this Blackberry makes me look old fashioned?

  65. Posted by Anonymous | April 12, 2010 at 11:43 AM

    sopressata was a bad choice, I gotsta go drop the gumbas at the pool hall

  66. Posted by westie | April 16, 2010 at 8:30 PM

    “Remember X marks the spot, and don’get the linens dirty”

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