Many of you have likely done things you should be embarrassed about in the name of getting laid. Given. For the most part, though, that embarrassment (and second hand embarrassment) remains contained to a relatively small group of people. Your friends, onlookers at the bar, cab drivers and so on and so forth. It’s likely that tens of millions of people will never see the depths to which you’ve sunk to put your d in a v. Such is not the case for Fabrice Tourre, who in one of the many emails released by Senator Carl Levin (no relation) over the weekend, has him begging off the ‘fabulous’ title in a message to lady-friend Marine Serres, a Goldman colleague. There’s nothing NSFW about this, but it should be considered NSFThoseWho’veJustFinishedLunch.
Darling you should take a look at this article … Very insightful … More and more leverage in the system, l’edifice entier riqsue de s’effondrer a tout moment … Seul survivant potentiel, the fabulous Fab (as Mitch would kindly call me, even though there is nothing fabulous abt me, just kindness, altruism and deep love for some gorgeous and super smart French girl in London), standing in the middle of all these complex, highly levered exotic trades he created without necessarily understanding all the implications of these monstruosities !!! Anyway, not feeling too guilty about this, the real purpose of my job is to make capital markets more efficient and ultimately provide the US consumer will more efficient ways to leverage and finance himself, so there is a humble, noble and ethical reason for my job ;) amazing how good I am in convincing myself !!!
Sweetheart, I am now going to try to get away from ABX and other ethical questions, and immediately plunge into Freakonomics … I feel blessed to be with you, to be able to learn and share special things with you, I love when you advise me on books I should be reading. I feel like we share a lot of things in common, a lot of values, topics we are interested in and intrigued by … I just love you !!!
If there’s anything Tourre should be ashamed of it’s this. Hopefully someone will take him to take for it tomorrow on the Hill.
Fabulous Fab Is a Player in More Than One Way [Daily Intel]
it looks like my man has pretty weak email game
just an ordinary Frenchie in love with a gorgeous and super smart French girl in London.
And now to the serious stuff: Do we have a pic of her druries yet?
I’ll be Fab had no trouble with the GS interview process. Doing God’s Work is in his DNA, it seems.
@1 horrible
Dear Fab,
I advise you to read, How To Make Love To A Woman. You can get it on Amazon.
Kind regards,
Marine S
This guy is such a fucking dork
Bess, I am sure Fabrice would never win the heart or even the sympathy of someone as subtle, as charming, as refined and as exquisite as you. Your prose is but a delicate flower…
Danielle Steel is on the phone with her lawyers already. Maybe he can get a deal on his story on Lifetime.
Page C5 of the Journal: “The whole building is about to collapse any time now. Only potential survivor, the Fabulous Fab…” he wrote to his gf.
“Potential” is the operative word. Chuckle….
Late fall-winter 2006: Tourre’s patrols in the subprime-mortgage market coming under frequent ambush. The market started to look like it was going to fall apart.
January 2007: Tourre orders the creation of a synthetic CDO tied to the performance of a portfolio of RMBS that did not contain the Wells [Fargo] deals. One of the investors was a sophisticated financial institution in Germany. Enemy activity in his old sector dropped off to nothing. Guess he must’ve represented the right third-party as the Portfolio Selection Agent. GS&Co. tried one last time to bring him back into the fold, and if he pulled over, it all would have been forgotten. But he kept going, and he kept winning it his way: standing in the middle of all these complex, highly leveraged, exotic trades he created without necessarily understanding all of the implications of those monstruosities. They lost him; he was gone. Nothing but rumors and rambling intelligence, mostly from captured e-mails. The SEC knew his “fabulous Fab” nickname by now, and they were scared of him. He and his Abacus were playing hit and run all the way into France.
If this was meant for a lady with whom he’d had no previous relations, so to speak, then it’s a weak play. If it was meant for his actual gf, it’s probably adorable and slightly refreshing.
So, Bess, are we to assume that this dope frog; who is at the forefront of the global mortgage crisis and ensuing global financial meltdown, was getting turned on to Freakonomics by his penpal? Did She buy his 12-C too? Show him the Excel Alt-functions?
WTF?
-JHC
Weak sauce. I usually start mine off with, “Your scent was tremendous, as your left wrist braced against my nose last night. You ruffled my hair, as your fingers danced across my scalp. I paused, and thought, ‘Is that Brit by Burberry, or are you ovulating?’ Shall we meet tonight, my love? Blue/Gold for another 8 PBRs?”
Tool.
SLORE!
mitch is that blue/gold @ 58th and 1st?
I think the flirting makes him look good. It is the best part of the email. He is in love, he likes good books. What’s wrong with that? I don’t see any embarrassment or ‘depths to which he’s sunk’. Also he can claim he was just bragging about the CDOs to impress the girl. The flirting may actually save his ass.
Bess, “Your scent was tremendous, as your left wrist braced against my nose last night. You ruffled my hair, as your fingers danced across my scalp. I paused, and thought, ‘Is that Brit by Burberry, or are you ovulating?’ Shall we meet tonight, my love? Blue/Gold for another 8 PBRs?”
he isn’t refering to Bess is he, as his gf?
he never shagged the girl. fab getting turned on by the books she’s suggesting?? spare me. we’ve all done that to try to get a D in a V (as Bess so graciously puts it) pretending to like the same books, cd’s art etc.
I get sick thinking about how many hours i had to listen to Sade and pretend i liked her (his?) shit.
@ 17, (or shall I call you Fab ? ) You do not, repeat, do not, charm the knickers off a French babe by talking about the ABX and referring to yourself as fabulous.
- Marine S
Fab is so Euro trash he is subprime….
He should feel most embarrassed for reading Freakonomics.
@ 21, it works on me.
- Any Asian Chick in NYC
being a horrible “sexter” is the new killing it.
-t. woods
@21 you don’t know them. They all think they’re intellectuals in France. (oh and they don’t wear knickers)
@ 22:
IIIIIII
I ^ ^ I
@ @
I
I_I
MMMMMMM
I’m actually a big fan of the Fab.
DJ LIBOR
@26 – I object: they wear lingerie (at least the ones I’ve had the pleasure to meet). And, they don’t buy it at Walmart as your mother in (select one to same end): Bronx/ND does.
16,
Even worse – http://nymag.com/listings/bar/blue_and_gold_tavern/
This Guy’s a piker.
- John Henry
Allow me to translate: As soon as I’m done ripping off the Hun and back in Myddleton Sq. I’m knocking the bottom out of you.
Results of Interview #27
Applicant: Tourre’, Fabrice (Class of 2001)
Interviewer (REDACTED)
**************************
Applicant arrived puntually and in a manner we note. Used “sensory deprivation water tank” (SDWT #12) to conduct interview. Applicant slightly surprised at suggestion to slip into a GS speedo. (CCSCs captured applican sniffing crotch. That observation passed to credit structures group per their earlier request.)
Applicant adapted to SDWT #12 quickly and noted “This isn’t so scary..”
Applicant did well on questions pertaining to “pruning” and “shrinkage” as pertains to water-tanked based workers. Applicant did well on questions pertaining to “market liquidity” and offered an unsolicited pun along that line. Applicant seemed curious as to how well HBS applicants did in SDWT interviewing and was advised that HBS grads walked on water in tank. Applicant said nothing. Applicant suggested floating gardenias for SDWT interviewing process.
End of report.
Postscript: Interviewer at #33 was personally smothered to death by Blankfein for hiring Tourre, Fabrice.
@33 – well played
@34 – fail. you must me new here. everyone knows that no one gets hired after the 27th interview. you must work at jeffries.
Blankfein should have hired one of Spitzer’s hookers for him. That in-house piece of tail of his cost Goldman Sachs large.
Getting shot down is the new handjobbing it
Bess,
i’m just a normal private equity guy. nothing evil on levering companies up to 5x, paying down the debt over 5 yrs and then selling them at a profit to an strategic or financial player. i can even put a plug into my model to lever company more than that – if that turns you on.
the way i see it, through my modeling skills, i’m just allowing america’s GDP to flourish – which i believe, makes me just a normal guy with a good heart.
i also like to take long walks on the beach and read poetry over the weekends. sometimes, i wish i had someone in my life to just lay down and cuddle while watching a romantic comedy.
do you want to meet up for coffee and then go to MoMA on Sunday?
-guy who is in touch with his feelings and never gets laid
I love these exceedingly witty comments. And Bess’ article also. Thank you all. PT
@Bess – wait, are we supposed to believe he is writing in English to a French girl? WTF? And I’m done with this site unless you can come up with pictures of this chick? Is she hot or not? Worth blowing up the whole subprime mortgage business for her? We want answers?
@41 why don’t you pose? another statement? in the form of? a question?
@41 – refer to @2.
Bess: Show us (some) evidence that this chick was beddable or we will assume a massive handbridge capital injection is needed. The latter will have unintended consequences to the water level of the Hudson river estuary.
Link to NY Mag, dead.. wonder if GS legal had it removed..
@42 – OK? OK? IS she hot? Are you?
Girl, if I could rearrange the alphabet, I’d put my d in a v.
The Other Femme
Fathia Boukhtouche
how come no one sent this guy the invite for Fashion Meets Finance?
@41 – this gal is the modern day Helen of Troy
@42/Bess Is that a rhetorical question(s)?(?)
This guy made seven figures and was too cheap/dumb to get a private phone and use that for personal emails?! What is wrong with you people.
@51 joe – please see 25 and try to keep up.
She graduated from HEC Business School.
@18 FTW.
I so much miss the Joke Briefer sometimes. Maybe he could take some time to explain this joke.
@41 You would prefer to see them in the original French?
@39
Let me guess, let me guess…APOLLO?
HEC is a joke. Try LBS.
The day: Thursday. The time: 7pm. I ease in to the crowded bar slowly but purposefully, with my tote bag in tow, giving myself time for my eyes to adjust to the dim lighting while simultaneously scoping the scene. I slip through a pair of well-dressed men in suits that appear to be drinking G&Ts and find my way to the right side of the dark-wood bar. After locking eyes with a cute-looking bartender, I order my usual: a Jägerbomb on the rocks. While waiting for my order, I casually look to my right to find an HB sitting next to me in a pink strapless dress sipping on what I believe is a dirty vodka martini. She spots me looking at her. I decide to use one of my Openers.
“Hey baby, did you see those two girls fighting outside?”
She looks at me confused, unconvinced. “Um, really? On Stone Street? This early?”
Clearly this lady was going to be a tough one to crack. I decide to go straight into a Neg. “You know, you kinda have man hands,” I tell her, while looking down at her delicate, engagement-ring-clad left hand, which holds her martini. Rings are so meaningless to me.
The target HB looks offended. She eyes my cheap navy pinstripe suit with the all-too-familiar look of disdain and disgust and stops on my tote bag. “You work for Citi?” She inquires.
Finally my drink arrives. I pour the Jäger into the icy Red Bull and slam the entire drink, with a long exhale before I reply. “Yeah, I mean I do trade support but I hope that in a few years I’ll be able to…”
The HB stops me, “That’s like 90 blocks uptown. What the fuck are you doing down here at Ulysses?”
Ashamed of the truth, I avoid the question and nervously half ask-half shout, “Wha-What do you call that hairstyle, the waffle?!”
The HB catches the attention of the cute bartender and whispers something to her. I try to feign a smile, as both of them are 9′s and hold themselves quite well. I begin to reach into my tote bag for my deck of cards, to dazzle the two of them with a magic trick, but before I can, the bartender looks at her, then at me, and nods. The bartender leans over the bar towards me with her cleavage beginning to show at the top of her black tank top, “Sir, I’m going to have to ask you to leave.”
Dejected but beginning to feel a buzz, I frown and throw a ten and three one-dollar bills onto the bar and grab a pack of matches to show off later. I take one last glance at the cold stares of both the HB and the bartender before I zip-up my tote bag and move through the crowd and begin my 20-minute walk to The Patriot.
@58 were you watching me Thursday?
haha! @58 just made my evening.
Non sequitur @58, but pretty damn funny.
Is she sexy? This guy was almost begging. She better be sexy…
this is the tip of the iceberg when it comes to how dooshy these guys are….smart, but dooshy
This is an arltice that makes you think “never thought of that!”
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