30 minutes to go.

Gird your loins. (For some color on the participants, rules of this challenge, familiarize yourselves here.)

3 minutes down

Participant 1: one DD consumed

Participant 2: one DD consumed (“I feel like I have been eating for 10 minutes already”)

5 minutes down

Participant 1: two and a half down

Participant 2: two down (“getting harder to breathe”)

10 minutes down

P1: 3.5 sandos housed, showing signs of slowing

P2: 2.75 sandos housed, is clearly feeling pain

Additional notes: Franks Red Hot has been added; a crowd is forming.

Half-way Point

P1 (this is the MBA guy who’s been monitoring his weight daily for the past 7 years): 3.9 down

P2 (this is the married guy who lives in NJ): 3.5 down, is breaking the sandwiches into pieces

Notes from colleagues: MBA is getting a lot of crowd support; Lots of heavy breathing from both parties; Family Man says- “will not take the bus to nj tonight”

20 minutes down, 10 minutes to go

P1: 4 DD’s

P2: 4 DD’s

Colleagues say: Fail predicted; Both tearing into number 5 with trepidation; MBA is taking a long look at number 5; Family man is showing signs of rallying; The cheese is causing real problems; Family man, “5 wouldn’t be a problem, the problem is there are seven.”

25 minutes down, 5 minutes to go

P1: about 25% done with 5th sandwich

P2: Pulling ahead at 4.5

Someone has started playing “Eye of the Tiger”

3.5 minutes to the buzzer

P1: is not eating or speaking, stalled at 4.25

P2: is standing up to eat the rest of number 5

30 minutes down, time up

P1: threw in the towel 3 minutes ago, at 4.25 DD’s

P2: “wins” with almost 5

Notes from colleagues: “Over was 10, they finished 9 between the two of them”

Closing thoughts: While I’m happy these guys kicked off the first Double Down Challenge of the season, and they should be lauded for that, obviously this was a bit of an abysmal failure, and one that I leave it to the rest of you to make right. More sandwiches, less time, you eating like your life depends on it. Don’t disappoint us.

84 comments (hidden to protect delicate sensibilities)
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Comments (84)

  1. Posted by Canadian Banker | April 14, 2010 at 12:40 PM

    really? an iphone? what advertising firm is this again?

  2. Posted by Anonymous | April 14, 2010 at 12:46 PM

    Using the Kelly Criterion applied to the wagering I would only bet 15% of my max risk on the contest in the KFC DD challenge.

  3. Posted by Investorcluzo | April 14, 2010 at 12:49 PM

    bus to nj? is this the IT eating challenge? wtf…

  4. Posted by Anonymous | April 14, 2010 at 12:51 PM

    Peons. And rank amatuers.
    PTJ

  5. Posted by You're wothless | April 14, 2010 at 12:54 PM

    weaksauce

  6. Posted by Anonymous | April 14, 2010 at 12:55 PM

    The fat guy’s losing? What does he have in life that he can be proud of? Nothing now.

  7. Posted by Anonymous | April 14, 2010 at 12:56 PM

    Anyone up for a tickle contest in a few?

    -Eric massa

  8. Posted by The men's room stall | April 14, 2010 at 12:56 PM

    Please. God. No.

  9. Posted by Anonymous | April 14, 2010 at 12:57 PM

    @8 = Larry Craig

  10. Posted by Anonymous | April 14, 2010 at 12:59 PM

    @6 haha

  11. Posted by Anonymous | April 14, 2010 at 1:02 PM

    @4 I agree. The Colonel would be very disappointed and you don’t want that.

    ~E.Cartman

  12. Posted by PEMBA | April 14, 2010 at 1:03 PM

    Dear Fatboy,

    We regret to inform you that your acceptance into our august institution as been rescinded. You sir, are not Pace material.

    Sincerely,

    Pace Executive MBA Admissions

  13. Posted by M. B. | April 14, 2010 at 1:04 PM

    Contestant number 1, call me.

    -Maria Bartaromo

  14. Posted by Anonymous | April 14, 2010 at 1:07 PM

    #6 wins

  15. Posted by Anonymous | April 14, 2010 at 1:08 PM

    1 and 3 FTW

  16. Posted by Anonymous | April 14, 2010 at 1:11 PM

    6 ftw

  17. Posted by Anal_yst | April 14, 2010 at 1:12 PM

    Avoiding the bus to NJ is definitely a good idea tonight, that being said, what genius sent in a pic with the guys faces?

  18. Posted by Maria Baritomo | April 14, 2010 at 1:13 PM

    I am seriously salivating over here. I’m having a filet-o’-fish contest against myself later this afternoon. More information to come.

  19. Posted by Anonymous | April 14, 2010 at 1:14 PM

    5 double downs? Looks like he decuple downed that fatty.

  20. Posted by Anonymous | April 14, 2010 at 1:20 PM

    @18 haha

  21. Posted by volatilitysmile | April 14, 2010 at 1:22 PM

    I bet on the married guy at all times – he’s used to lousy, greasy (leftover?) food by now, and he likes it or else…

    It is ironic how relationships generally don’t result from test driving your partner’s skills in the kitchen. Oops, strike that – edit – your partner’s cooking skills.

  22. Posted by Anonymous | April 14, 2010 at 1:25 PM

    Fat people really are worthless. Which is why the entire state of Texas is worthless.

  23. Posted by Skippy | April 14, 2010 at 1:26 PM

    Got the Hershey squirts just reading this post – yeow!

  24. Posted by Anonymous | April 14, 2010 at 1:32 PM

    @18/Maria TMI, BTW a good drugstore douche will take care of the “filet-O’-fish contest”.

  25. Posted by Anonymous | April 14, 2010 at 1:34 PM

    @23 – It is called the Hershey Keowes around these parts.

  26. Posted by Yo Me | April 14, 2010 at 1:36 PM

    @anal
    remember, they’re IT guys. not much can happened to them for this.

  27. Posted by Maria Baritomo | April 14, 2010 at 1:36 PM

    24,

    I’m actually having severe yeast infection issues, but thanks for caring. Asshole.

    By the way, 6 filets down, 13 to go. I’ll update at the next commercial break.

  28. Posted by Anonymous | April 14, 2010 at 1:37 PM

    Jay Leno is right – with crap like this, we’re doing Al Qaeda’s work for them…

  29. Posted by Shitting on Tryon St | April 14, 2010 at 1:37 PM

    I’ll leave you with this:

  30. Posted by Anonymous | April 14, 2010 at 1:38 PM

    @22 your mom didn’t think so after the entire state finished running a train on her

  31. Posted by anon | April 14, 2010 at 1:38 PM

    Did Zack end up as a brown stain on the mattress?

    Hey Maria did CG every stuff your axe wound with some sopressata?

  32. Posted by Maria Baritomo | April 14, 2010 at 1:39 PM

    Alter ego “Tavinia Faritomo” is at 9, but that bitch binges and purges.

  33. Posted by Investorcluzo | April 14, 2010 at 1:40 PM

    @22 – examine your motives. unless you want your cube to look like the one in the picture from cs.

    on another note…enzyte was a scam! who approves these “drugs?”

  34. Posted by Shitting on Tryon St | April 14, 2010 at 1:42 PM

    @28, so you are the one person that watches Leno….

  35. Posted by FINALLY THE TRUTH | April 14, 2010 at 1:43 PM

    Cluzo —> Tax Chick —> Sudanese man in CSFB photo!

  36. Posted by Anonymous | April 14, 2010 at 1:44 PM

    @27/Maria On the floor I always wondered why they called you Buttaroma – now I get it.

  37. Posted by Anonymous | April 14, 2010 at 1:45 PM

    KFC Double Down = Texas

  38. Posted by Maria Baritomo | April 14, 2010 at 1:49 PM

    OG ego, pulling in strong. I am not unlike Grimace. Double fisting, at 17. Not sure if it’s tartar sauce or collagen, but something’s dripping from my upper lip.

  39. Posted by Maria Baritomo | April 14, 2010 at 2:00 PM

    Tavinia knocked it out of the park on 18 & 19. I hate her! I hate her! When I see her, I cry and break glass! Btw, confirmed: mixture of collagen and tartar sauce. Also have cheese smeared on nose. Back to makeup.

  40. Posted by Anonymous | April 14, 2010 at 2:03 PM

    I can haz Franks Red Hot with Fancy Feast??!!

    -Wachovia CatFood Baller

  41. Posted by Anonymous | April 14, 2010 at 2:04 PM

    DD challenge at SAC tomorrow. Gird your asses.

  42. Posted by PJ | April 14, 2010 at 2:19 PM

    @41, uh ,i actually think SAC is having a “DP” challneg, not a “DD” challenge.

    -anon

  43. Posted by Investorcluzo | April 14, 2010 at 2:37 PM

    @35 – cluzo is gonna tax your chick’s @$$…minetta tavern, tonight 8:30.

  44. Posted by TRUTH SEEKER | April 14, 2010 at 2:46 PM

    CLUZO – I WILL SEE YOU THERE! I WILL BE THE GUY IN THE GOLD’S GYM A-TEE, EATING BEEF JERKY FROM A BARREL, DRINKING CREATINE, AND BREAKING GOLF BALLS AGAINST MY FOREHEAD.

  45. Posted by patrick bateman | April 14, 2010 at 2:49 PM

    These eating challenges always confused me.

    Until one day I was having coffee in the Marina neighborhood of San Francisco, a neighborhood filled with finance douchebags. I noticed a number of grown men wearing baseball hats without even a trace of ironic intent.

    And then it dawned on me:

    – Baseball hats, popular among douchebags and rednecks.
    – Eating contests, popular among douchebags and rednecks.

    Maybe douchebags are just cleaned-up rednecks?

    This explains everything.

  46. Posted by Anal_yst | April 14, 2010 at 3:32 PM

    @45

    The only acceptable times to wear a baseball hat are:

    1. Baseball game (etc)
    2. Meeting a woman of the night @ the Waldorf
    3. Golfing.

    Not sure what you’re talking about, perhaps things are a little “different” out there in SanFran…

  47. Posted by Chad | April 14, 2010 at 3:37 PM

    I work in that building! Almost on the same floor (That white building across the street is a major fail hotel/condo project on 45th street).

    These guys are definitely not i-bankers, not even close. If you consider “balling-out” at Perfect Pint then okay, but anything above a $6 Stella is out of these guys league.

  48. Posted by Anonymous | April 14, 2010 at 3:41 PM

    45 (cont.)

    “this was before I jumped in a cab to head over to castro to meet Richard Gere and Rod Stewart for drinks. The rest of the night will be etched in my memory forever…”

  49. Posted by patrick bateman | April 14, 2010 at 7:35 PM

    A hat should be removed upon greeting a woman, and remain off for the rest of one’s life.

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