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First KFC Double Down Challenge Of The Season: UNDER WAY

30 minutes to go.

Gird your loins. (For some color on the participants, rules of this challenge, familiarize yourselves here.)

3 minutes down

Participant 1: one DD consumed

Participant 2: one DD consumed (“I feel like I have been eating for 10 minutes already”)

5 minutes down

Participant 1: two and a half down

Participant 2: two down (“getting harder to breathe”)

10 minutes down

P1: 3.5 sandos housed, showing signs of slowing

P2: 2.75 sandos housed, is clearly feeling pain

Additional notes: Franks Red Hot has been added; a crowd is forming.

Half-way Point

P1 (this is the MBA guy who’s been monitoring his weight daily for the past 7 years): 3.9 down

P2 (this is the married guy who lives in NJ): 3.5 down, is breaking the sandwiches into pieces

Notes from colleagues: MBA is getting a lot of crowd support; Lots of heavy breathing from both parties; Family Man says- “will not take the bus to nj tonight”

20 minutes down, 10 minutes to go

P1: 4 DD’s

P2: 4 DD’s

Colleagues say: Fail predicted; Both tearing into number 5 with trepidation; MBA is taking a long look at number 5; Family man is showing signs of rallying; The cheese is causing real problems; Family man, “5 wouldn’t be a problem, the problem is there are seven.”

25 minutes down, 5 minutes to go

P1: about 25% done with 5th sandwich

P2: Pulling ahead at 4.5

Someone has started playing “Eye of the Tiger”

3.5 minutes to the buzzer

P1: is not eating or speaking, stalled at 4.25

P2: is standing up to eat the rest of number 5

30 minutes down, time up

P1: threw in the towel 3 minutes ago, at 4.25 DD’s

P2: “wins” with almost 5

Notes from colleagues: “Over was 10, they finished 9 between the two of them”

Closing thoughts: While I’m happy these guys kicked off the first Double Down Challenge of the season, and they should be lauded for that, obviously this was a bit of an abysmal failure, and one that I leave it to the rest of you to make right. More sandwiches, less time, you eating like your life depends on it. Don’t disappoint us.

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84 Responses to “First KFC Double Down Challenge Of The Season: UNDER WAY”

  1. Canadian Banker says:

    really? an iphone? what advertising firm is this again?

  2. Anonymous says:

    Using the Kelly Criterion applied to the wagering I would only bet 15% of my max risk on the contest in the KFC DD challenge.

  3. bus to nj? is this the IT eating challenge? wtf…

  4. Anonymous says:

    Peons. And rank amatuers.
    PTJ

  5. You're wothless says:

    weaksauce

  6. Anonymous says:

    The fat guy’s losing? What does he have in life that he can be proud of? Nothing now.

  7. Anonymous says:

    Anyone up for a tickle contest in a few?

    -Eric massa

  8. The men's room stall says:

    Please. God. No.

  9. Anonymous says:

    @8 = Larry Craig

  10. Anonymous says:

    @6 haha

  11. Anonymous says:

    @4 I agree. The Colonel would be very disappointed and you don’t want that.

    ~E.Cartman

  12. PEMBA says:

    Dear Fatboy,

    We regret to inform you that your acceptance into our august institution as been rescinded. You sir, are not Pace material.

    Sincerely,

    Pace Executive MBA Admissions

  13. M. B. says:

    Contestant number 1, call me.

    -Maria Bartaromo

  14. Anonymous says:

    #6 wins

  15. Anonymous says:

    1 and 3 FTW

  16. Anonymous says:

    6 ftw

  17. Anal_yst says:

    Avoiding the bus to NJ is definitely a good idea tonight, that being said, what genius sent in a pic with the guys faces?

  18. I am seriously salivating over here. I’m having a filet-o’-fish contest against myself later this afternoon. More information to come.

  19. Anonymous says:

    5 double downs? Looks like he decuple downed that fatty.

  20. Anonymous says:

    @18 haha

  21. I bet on the married guy at all times – he’s used to lousy, greasy (leftover?) food by now, and he likes it or else…

    It is ironic how relationships generally don’t result from test driving your partner’s skills in the kitchen. Oops, strike that – edit – your partner’s cooking skills.

  22. Anonymous says:

    Fat people really are worthless. Which is why the entire state of Texas is worthless.

  23. Skippy says:

    Got the Hershey squirts just reading this post – yeow!

  24. Anonymous says:

    @18/Maria TMI, BTW a good drugstore douche will take care of the “filet-O’-fish contest”.

  25. Anonymous says:

    @23 – It is called the Hershey Keowes around these parts.

  26. Yo Me says:

    @anal
    remember, they’re IT guys. not much can happened to them for this.

  27. 24,

    I’m actually having severe yeast infection issues, but thanks for caring. Asshole.

    By the way, 6 filets down, 13 to go. I’ll update at the next commercial break.

  28. Anonymous says:

    Jay Leno is right – with crap like this, we’re doing Al Qaeda’s work for them…

  29. Anonymous says:

    @22 your mom didn’t think so after the entire state finished running a train on her

  30. anon says:

    Did Zack end up as a brown stain on the mattress?

    Hey Maria did CG every stuff your axe wound with some sopressata?

  31. Alter ego “Tavinia Faritomo” is at 9, but that bitch binges and purges.

  32. @22 – examine your motives. unless you want your cube to look like the one in the picture from cs.

    on another note…enzyte was a scam! who approves these “drugs?”

  33. @28, so you are the one person that watches Leno….

  34. Cluzo —> Tax Chick —> Sudanese man in CSFB photo!

  35. Anonymous says:

    @27/Maria On the floor I always wondered why they called you Buttaroma – now I get it.

  36. Anonymous says:

    KFC Double Down = Texas

  37. OG ego, pulling in strong. I am not unlike Grimace. Double fisting, at 17. Not sure if it’s tartar sauce or collagen, but something’s dripping from my upper lip.

  38. Tavinia knocked it out of the park on 18 & 19. I hate her! I hate her! When I see her, I cry and break glass! Btw, confirmed: mixture of collagen and tartar sauce. Also have cheese smeared on nose. Back to makeup.

  39. Anonymous says:

    I can haz Franks Red Hot with Fancy Feast??!!

    -Wachovia CatFood Baller

  40. Anonymous says:

    DD challenge at SAC tomorrow. Gird your asses.

  41. PJ says:

    @41, uh ,i actually think SAC is having a “DP” challneg, not a “DD” challenge.

    -anon

  42. @35 – cluzo is gonna tax your chick’s @$$…minetta tavern, tonight 8:30.

  43. TRUTH SEEKER says:

    CLUZO – I WILL SEE YOU THERE! I WILL BE THE GUY IN THE GOLD’S GYM A-TEE, EATING BEEF JERKY FROM A BARREL, DRINKING CREATINE, AND BREAKING GOLF BALLS AGAINST MY FOREHEAD.

  44. patrick bateman says:

    These eating challenges always confused me.

    Until one day I was having coffee in the Marina neighborhood of San Francisco, a neighborhood filled with finance douchebags. I noticed a number of grown men wearing baseball hats without even a trace of ironic intent.

    And then it dawned on me:

    – Baseball hats, popular among douchebags and rednecks.
    – Eating contests, popular among douchebags and rednecks.

    Maybe douchebags are just cleaned-up rednecks?

    This explains everything.

  45. Anal_yst says:

    @45

    The only acceptable times to wear a baseball hat are:

    1. Baseball game (etc)
    2. Meeting a woman of the night @ the Waldorf
    3. Golfing.

    Not sure what you’re talking about, perhaps things are a little “different” out there in SanFran…

  46. Chad says:

    I work in that building! Almost on the same floor (That white building across the street is a major fail hotel/condo project on 45th street).

    These guys are definitely not i-bankers, not even close. If you consider “balling-out” at Perfect Pint then okay, but anything above a $6 Stella is out of these guys league.

  47. Anonymous says:

    45 (cont.)

    “this was before I jumped in a cab to head over to castro to meet Richard Gere and Rod Stewart for drinks. The rest of the night will be etched in my memory forever…”

  48. patrick bateman says:

    A hat should be removed upon greeting a woman, and remain off for the rest of one’s life.

  49. stratton2step says:

    i’ll take a $10 double dead guy,mmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmm

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