Goldman Employees Scared Into Eating Lunch At Their Desks, Not Making A Spectacle Of Selves While Partying

Thanks, Mary Schapiro. Because of you the men and women of Goldman Sachs can’t even leave the building for a sando out of fear someone will be listening in on their conversation re: the next client they’re going to give the old “GS surprise.” And don’t give me that crap about how they could find other topics to discuss. What else is there to talk about when there are nefarious plots to be hatched?

According to employees, Goldman managers have urged them to keep a low profile, think carefully about the restaurants and parties they attend and watch how they behave in public. Some employees are even reluctant even to go out to lunch with co-workers for fear of being overheard talking about Goldman, said one person familiar with the matter.

It’s enough to drive people to drink themselves stupid but guess what Mare? That’s out too. Lucas vP has already advised that anyone who can’t hold their liquor and, more to the point, abstain from revealing the GS logo branded to their ass-cheeks, ought to strongly considered going dry.

For Goldman Employees, Concerns And Shots [WSJ]

(hidden for your protection)
Show all comments

49 Responses to “Goldman Employees Scared Into Eating Lunch At Their Desks, Not Making A Spectacle Of Selves While Partying”

  1. Anonymous says:

    Bullies never like to be bullied.
    Too bad Goldman, you are getting hoisted on your own petard

  2. Goat says:

    @1 – Blow Me.

  3. I Heart GS Chicks says:

    GS chicks are the biggest screamers in bed. They dont moan, they scream. And they dig doing it doggy style, because then no one has to miss a moment of Bloomberg TV.

  4. Anonymous says:

    Goldman chicks gvs bigger mustaches than Keith hernandez

    jus sayin

  5. GS Whisperer says:

    I heard they even locked the entry-door to the roof.

  6. Bess Levin says:

    @3 is this part of some sort of new ad campaign for bberg TV?

  7. Anonymous says:

    @2 Suck on this

  8. Anonymous says:

    @1 – If you watched more than the select 2 minutes CNN showed in their report of the hearing, you would know that although the Senators held the floor to speak their minds, their attempts at bullying failed miserably, and instead made them (the Senators) look uneducated and silly, but nice try.

    Why do you think GS employees took the opportunity to hit bars and “down a shot of liquor every time the CEO used the word ‘synthetic'” as the WSJ article explains.

  9. Ulysses S. Bonds says:

    “Some traders wondered aloud if their own internal communications would remain private.”

    “Before Tuesday’s hearing, Jeffrey Verschleiser, one of Goldman’s mortgage-division heads, spent days poring through email and other documents to help executives prepare for their testimony,”

    “As the hearing dragged on, employees and alumni fired text messages, emails and instant messages back and forth about the group’s performance.”

    So you are concerned about the privacy of your internal communications but you continue to send emails, texts and IMs?

  10. Anonymous says:

    We went to the restaurant and sat down. The bus boy came to pour our water and I ordered immediately before even receiving a menu or seeing our waiter. The VP asked me where he worked, and I sat silently. He the asked me who the best firm on the street was, and I did not respond. He asked me what G and S stand for and I responded that I wasn’t sure to which “G” and “S” he was referring. He then asked me when I could come back for a chat.

  11. Doode says:

    My only beef with GS is that it did not make enough during a trillion dollar global value dislocation!!!

  12. Anonymous says:

    I watched much of the hearings on line. I agree most of the Senators were idiots, nevertheless the point of this article is that Goldman employees are concerned about people making disparaging statements to them or otherwise “being mean ” to them if the fact that they work for Goldman is known.
    Precisely how bullies I knew reacted. Tough guys , willing to take advantage of everyone else, until confronted when they went running back to their mommies and daddies
    So I say to these Goldman folks afraid to go out for lunch or otherwise so concerned abour repercussions that they are surrounded by security at their new headquarters – “Who’s your dadddy?”

  13. Anonymous says:

    they are all crooks and they should be ashamed of themselves. nothing like a good public shaming. i’m sure this will do the trick. yep, won’t have to worry about those sachy crooks at goldman anymore

  14. Anonymous says:

    @11 – Yes!! Please continue with your description of the interview process. As a prospective GS’er I want to know what happened in each of the 27 rounds.

  15. humility says:

    Fool’s Gold(man)

    The firm’s nonstop nope-a-dope strategy–evading questions, repeating gobbledygook answers and ceding no ground of accountability–may have been an effective legal defense against the SEC’s specific charges in the Paulson case. But the Goldman team failed to realize that on this day they were being tried in the court of public opinion on much bigger and more serious charges and in front of jury that has been fed 18 months of incredibly damning evidence about junk mortgages, rigged ratings, sweetheart bailouts and obscene bonuses.

    The result? Goldman arguably won the narrow battle inside the room on the SEC charges (as the Wall Street Journal suggested). But after hoisting itself on its own petulance, the firm lost the larger war–and any last shred of credibility with the frustrated middle. Indeed, with its condescending, responsibility-ducking performance Goldman showed why it deserved its status as the most hated company in America–and why the anger at Wall Street won’t really dissipate with the expected passage of the financial reform bill now in the Senate. The white shoe of white shoes just doesn’t get that the jig is up and that the sham brand of capitalism it has been profiting from at our expense has been exposed in all its repellent glory.

  16. Their scared? says:

    I thought this was a fearless group of risk takers? You know BSD’s? The best of breed…the in your face, rip your lungs out, eat or be eaten Alpha dog types..what happened? Strap them on and confront your fears…you know like the way the rest of middle america is doing right now…friggin pussies…afraid to eat out…wtf? very revealing.

  17. I think LB should ask Mary, via e-mail, whether it would be acceptable for GS employees to spend most of their time viewing porn online, if they do so discretely. I believe there is no penalty for that. No day long whipping session by a Board of Inquisitors.

  18. Doode says:

    @16 That is awesome – first, the root cause is the government with Greenspoon keeping rates too low for too long. Second, borrowers with $1000 in the bank buying 300-400K houses (literally). sometimes with less. So while blaming GS might be popular, doing so would only shift away from the real problem – no big scam/bubble (like subrpime rollercoaster) can ever go on without a silent approval of the government and regular people. GS was the smartest to spot it and is now paying for it instead of being praised. Everyone on the street does exactly the same type of business as GS does – they just saw through all BS a bit earlier than everyone else.

  19. guest says:

    @17, they’re ≠ their, but elipses = gay.

  20. we won, you lost says:

    The wealth transfer and looting of this country continues unabated while the chasm between the rich and the poor widens. The destruction of the middle class is irrelevant to the modern day pirates, they must have their treasure at any cost. As Jim notes, “The winners like Goldman Sachs made sure to collect.”

    Surely some social good came out of this financial alchemy? After all, isn’t reward half of the risk-reward spectrum? When a city borrows money an airport can be built. When a corporation borrows a new factory rises. When individuals borrow they buy a house or car. Along with debt comes some investment, purchase or savings that helps advance the economy however fitfully. How many airports, roads, factories, farms, houses, cars or other goods fell out of the $27 trillion CDS piñata? I won’t keep you in suspense—the answer is none.

    Unlike real banking which raises capital for worthy enterprises, the CDS market is a betting parlor with no social utility. But don’t the bets just change hands between winners and losers with no harm to the rest of us? Not exactly. The winners like Goldman made sure to collect. But the losers, after receiving their personal bonuses on up-front fees and buying houses in Nantucket, walked away and handed society the bill. If you’re wondering who the real losers are and you happen to be a taxpayer just look in a mirror.

    Society is so in thrall to Goldman and the other banks that we can’t even hold them accountable. Their critics are accused of using hindsight as if the game wasn’t rigged from the start. Opponents are accused of being anti-free market as if putting horsemeat in hamburgers is a legitimate market activity. As a society, we’ve lost our nerve when it comes to bankers and their lobbyists. The Age of the Plutocrat has well and truly arrived.

  21. Anonymous says:

    Garcon, je demande le steak au poivre et pomme frites, toute de suite. Je travaille a Goldmans et je suis un diex du haute finance.
    — Fabrice

  22. Anonymous says:

    from @22, dieux, not diex

  23. move your $ says:

    Letter from Rep. Kaptur to DOJ demanding a requesting investigation of Goldman signed by 60 Reps:

  24. I'm not from around here says:

    Maybe they just don’t want to bump into customers?

    The Client Always Comes First At Goldman…

    Except When He Doesn’t, Which Is Also Always
    It is hilarious that Goldman would “spend countless hours” with clients to convince them of the Goldman trade only after the stops had been hit and Goldman was actively trying to cover shorts, i.e., when the stress in the mortgage market was plainly visible for all to see. Maybe Goldman should have spent just one hour with its clients when it itself decided to go short in the first place, instead of using its clients as spitoons for its toxic, HR Giger based saliva.

    What is far more deplorable, is that Swenson admits that not only did the firm deny its client requests, but that these decisions lost the firm client credibility (although they saved Goldman “hundreds of millions”).

    And now you know why Lloyd Blankfein’s statement that “the client always comes first” for Goldman is also merely anopther lie.

    But we all knew that.

  25. gentleman trader says:

    @21 – Bad little populist! Go back to your hole…now!

  26. Anonymous says:

    Maybe the Mossad can help them out with a few new passports and tourist disguises.

  27. we won, you lost says:

    @gentlemen trader…I’m pretty sure Jim Rickards got it right…laughing at your face…go home to the wifey and see if she ironed your panties…right now! LOL you freakin joke

  28. PermaGuest says:

    @13 So, you’re saying that since some guys on the CDO desk may or may not have done something sketch, then all 30,000-odd other employees are bullies and should be punished, right down to the junior trader on the Short Term Muni desk, the woman who answers the phones in HR and the guy in charge of the record room in Jersey City? ’cause those are probably the people going out to lunch together around the corner from work– not Blankfein, Viniar or anyone else responsible for making decisions about what the firm does or doesn’t do.

  29. guest says:


  30. Anonymous says:

    @3 they scream because it burns… When Bess refers to getting the ‘GS special’, she’s talking about untreatable Gonorrhea:

  31. guest says:

    @30 what’s the problem…your mothers holding back?

  32. guest says:

    @21…. I think you’ve missed the point a little bit with your lack of understanding. Many of the people on this board are going to jump down your throat but I just wanted to clarify things a little bit. I feel that your assessment of CDS’s, and CDO’s for that matter in incorrect in that they serve a very legitimate social purpose in lowering the cost of borrowing for the capital products mentioned. By allowing someone to hedge the risk of default, more people are willing to invest in securities that they otherwise may be more hesitant to invest in at a given yield. CDO’s serve the same purpose in a world where the ratings agencies perform their function correctly in that by diversifying products within the structure, and reallocating risk through the tranches, CDO’s assist in raising capital for that particular sector by again increasing investment.

    Sure things didn’t work out in this instance as we had a rather dramtic change in paradigm which combined with poor underwriting/credit rating to blow up a product that is mathematically sound.

    For synthetic CDO’s though I will agree that there seems to be limited social utility from my perspective as it seemingly provides little more then a directional bet on the underlying reference securites when the same function could be largely served in the cash market. However the ability to tailor the reference basket to one’s particular needs certianly does serve a hedging, and speculative function which does in fact provide social utility to the synthetics as well.

    -guy who doesn’t work work in structured finance, but doesn’t mix up his acronyms either.

  33. Anonymous says:

    Goldman’s cafeteria is now turning into an executive dining room, they roped off the Managing Directors and Senior Management from the rest of the staff, you now need to show your business card with your title on it in order to get a good seat…..

  34. Anonymous says:


    $27 trillion is the notional amount of CDS. Anyone referencing that number either doesn’t understand the market or is trying to fool an audience of people who don’t understand the market. And the value of CDS is that it provides liquidity because without the protection it affords, a farily large percentage of financing transactions that provide so-called “real” value would not be made. It’s called hedging risk.

    Jim Rickards was the general counsel of LTCM when it was running irresponsible arb trades and eventually was bailed out by the very banks he is haranguing against. If he were an honorable man, he would have killed himself 11 years ago rather than directing the firehose of utter nonsense that are his ill-informed opinions in the direction of anyone other than himself and the stuffed animals in his bedroom.

  35. @35 – this is how I like to roll, loser. VP does not equal VIP.


  36. Anonymous says:

    @33 = Birnbaum

  37. guest says:

    @35 I don’t know the guy worked with Caxton…he can’t be as stupid as you say…

    He has held senior executive positions at Citibank, Long-Term Capital Management and Caxton Associates. In 1998, he was the principal negotiator of the rescue of LTCM sponsored by the Federal Reserve Bank of New York. His clients include private investment funds, investment banks and government directorates in national security and defense. He is the national security columnist for The Daily Caller,, has been the interviewed in The Wall Street Journal, has appeared regularly on CNBC’s Squawk Box, as well as Fox, CNN, C-SPAN and NPR and is an Op-Ed contributor to the New York Times and the Washington Post. Mr. Rickards is a visiting lecturer at the Kellogg School and the School of Advanced International Studies, has delivered papers on econophysics at the Applied Physics Laboratory and the Los Alamos National Laboratory and has written articles on cognitive diversity, network science and risk management. He is an advisor to the Committee on Foreign Investment in the United States (CFIUS) Support Group of the Director of National Intelligence and recently testified before Congress on the causes of the financial crisis. Mr. Rickards holds an LL.M. (Taxation) from the New York University School of Law; a J.D. from the University of Pennsylvania Law School; an M.A. in international economics from the School of Advanced International Studies, Washington DC, and a B.A. from The Johns Hopkins University. Follow Mr. Rickards at

  38. Anonymous says:

    Dorsia is now offlimits to GS personnel. When they ask you who you work for, tell them the govt

  39. Anonymous says:

    Goldman employees report black helicopters are following them as soon as they leave the mothership. Blankfein demands that NYC provide extra security to his employees . His best bud, Mayor for life Bloomberg, has agreed to comply and is taking police away from such mundane tasks as guarding subways ,where as we all know , no Goldman executive would ever be found.

  40. Anonymous says:

    @35 how can you say the notional value is irrelevant? In isolation it represents the basis that which your Gain/Loss will be calculated off of. In managing a portfolio it represents a component of your weight/exposure to the class your derivative falls into. Sure if you post 100% collateral to the notional bet than the number is worthless, but unless you have an offsetting position of the same notional, how can just dismiss it?

  41. horn says:

    Is this like draw a cartoon for Mohammed day? Are we all going to have to get GS branded on our cheeks to defend our colleagues on Broad and Wall?

  42. gentleman trader says:

    @28 – is it true that there an inverse relationship between the use of acronyms such as LOL, OMG, etc. and intelligence level? I’d appreciate your thoughts on this.


  43. Anonymous says:

    @38, I never said he was stupid, I said he was the general counsel of, and therefore ran the legal control function for, a hedge fund that irresponsibly over-leveraged themselves to the point of putting the entire global financial system at risk in order to basically squeeze pennies out of the yield curve. Then that hedge fund was bailed out by a group of dealer banks acting under the guidance (i.e., strong-armed) of the Fed. I’m going to guess he was generously compensated for that work and I don’t think he gave the money back to the banks who bailed out his employer. Now he has the audacity to publicly browbeat the banks for, egads!, engaging in transactions that he doesn’t think are valuable to world and all the lovely creatures in it (in contrast with arbing the yield curve, which cured cancer and AIDS before nearly bringing down the world financial system). Instead of getting in his pulip and preaching about derivatives which he obviously did not understand when he was GC of LTCM and likely doesn’t understand now (despite his fancy graduate degree in international relations!), he should have just killed himself in 1999 to atone for the wanton destruction he engendered on the world. Since he didn’t have the decorum to rid the planet of his presence, I suggest he keep his head down and shut the fuck up when grown-ups are talking.

  44. Informed Over Educated Guest says:

    @33…WTF! You claim you don’t mix up your acronyms (Woo!), so what, you don’t understand what you are talking about either, you cannot even spell!…”the ability to tailor the reference basket to one’s particular needs certianly”, Huh?!! I am shocked that no one even caught the obvious problem of someone trying to parse items that are beyond their ability to spell. That word is spelled “certainly”. Look it up. Then attempt to use it properly in a sentence, such as, “Certainly the concept behind ‘the financial alchemy’ in which underlying junk assets of the RMBS market were magically transformed into triple A rated paper was a criminal fraud”. Or this: “There was a great demand for these products, certainly, as they were triple A rated through a process, CDO conversion, which was a despicable fraud perpetrated upon widows & orphans.” I am a former prosecutor, quite the grown-up, with a nephew M.D. at Goldman. I won’t bother to post again. GS doesn’t need apologists, they have hired an army of the best connected D.C. lobbyists.

  45. Anonymous says:

    “I am a former prosecutor, quite the grown-up, with a nephew M.D. at Goldman.”

    The fact that you would post one of the most infantile spelling-based ad hominem attacks in the history of this juvenile website, in the middle of the night, on a thread that had died hours earlier, just to defend your anonymous self, leads me to believe that you are lying about at least one third if not that entire statement. Good luck on finals.

  46. oem software says:

    sm6N7E I am so grateful for your article post.Really looking forward to read more. Really Great.

  47. AxcTdY I really liked your article.Thanks Again. Want more.

  48. Jack Smith says:

    This is really good published article. Such a great yet interesting post. Thank you very much for sharing this useful stuff.