Just so we can momentarily get off the golden scrots for one second, I’d like you all to take two now and get a little perspective. To our knowledge (which may be limited), no one at Goldman Sachs has done anything like this.
Twenty-one-year-old Matthew Clemmens, of Cherry Hill, N.J., was arraigned Friday on charges stemming from his behavior at Wednesday night’s Phillies-Nationals game. Police say Clemmens made himself vomit on an off-duty police captain and his daughter after a companion was kicked out of Citizens Bank Park for unruly behavior, which included cursing, spitting and spilling beer by Clemmens and a friend. According to an account in the Philadelphia Daily News, Clemmens and his friend were asked by the 15-year-old daughter of Easton police Capt. Michael Vangelo to stop cursing and spitting. A short while later, Vangelo said, it started again.
“One guy started spitting … first it landed on the back of my daughter’s chair. Then it landed on her hooded sweatshirt,” Vangelo said, according to the Philadelphia Daily News.
After Vangelo reported the incident to stadium officials, Clemmens’ friend was led out of the stadium. At that point, Vangelo said Clemmens said he would be sick and “put two fingers down his throat.” He then “leaned forward and started vomiting on us,” Vangelo said, according to the Daily News. Philadelphia police say Clemmens also punched Vangelo and vomited on an arresting officer.
“an account in the Philadelphia Daily News” is about as credible as an account from Zach Kouwe
@1 what’s your point? this is funny.
sorry for partying?
one of CG’s guido friends from the old neighborhood before becoming a Jersey loser…
clemmens is a GS first year.
Footage of this would have been priceless!
Goldman makes we want to vomit everyday
Vomited purposefully? Anyone who has ever seen the Nats play knows that just seeing their feeble attempts at baseball is enough to make one sick to his stomach. Vomiting is inevitable. At least it wasn’t at Nationals Park. It would have been all Ben’s chili and halfsmoke sausage.
Matthew Clemmens FTW!
I will throw up tonight.
I wonder where that finger has been.
Yet, Bess, yet.
Typical Philthy Fans
Didn’t get a raise. Gonna make it rain yoo-hoo and pepperoni pizza in this motherfucker.
This is just the beginning.
Goldman has collected the most disgusting vomit selected by Paulson, securitized it, and sold it under false pretenses to a collection of foreign investors. Moody’s rated it AAA, and Paulson shorted the hell out of it.
i vomit on friends periodically
@10 (NS) – I already did, and it’s bacon/tomato/leeks/potato all over the office pc. Gosh…
@VS mine will be 80% Crown and Coke 20% Cape Code Salt and Vinegar Chips
@15 – I’m long on investment-grade puke. So you’re saying that’s a bad idea?
OK alls yous guys. Just because I’m at Fox Biz now and no one is watchin me, let’s not be furgittin dat I broke dis story long before dos aholes at CNBC. So don’t be givin dem guys any credit. I still hang out with sum of dem guys and I hear stuff. You know – like I make a million guesses and once in a while one comes true. Dat’s a bunch of crap you punks. One of dem said the otta day that even a broken clock is right twice a day – even a Gossiparino clock. Bite me. And don’t be blamin me for da low FBN ratins. They was low when I gots here. I’ll rip you lungs out.
Some udda punk said my book “Da Shitout” hit a new low on Amazon at 10,000 today. Bull – it only got as low as 9,000 you punks. Da next printin is gonna feature Mrs G as a center fold. So take dat you pricks.
Philly fans = fucking savages
Bitch had it coming. The infield fly rule is simple.
Matthew Clemmens is using my image without my consent. Expect a forthcoming lawsuit.
-Lindsay
If this happened at Citifield, the fan would have choked instead of vomited.
24 = Asshole. Indeed funny, but still an asshole.
Signed,
-Long Summer Ahead
Who does that? Someone from New Jersey. Speaks volumes about the trash in NJ.
Ummm, maybe no one at Gold Scrotum has done this, but the kid certainly has the social skills and respect for authority of a GS exec! Actually, Goldman sh*ts on people, rather than vomit. Personal choice I guess.
Wonder if Jeff the Vomit Guy would’ve enjoyed this since it was a dude???
Bess – people want to know!
Throwing up on girls is the new killing it.
-mrp
@26. Cherry Hill is basically Philadelphia.
This would never happen in Texas.
@29 – This is pretty much a sport as old as the Roman empire. Nothing to see here, luv. But is still an enjoyable passtime – if you could tolerate the cheap booze (I wouldn’t like to see a Ketel 1 bottle go to waste).
@32 -
I’m going for the bottom of the liquor barrel tonight: Popov vodka. I’ll report back on how it goes
-mrp
ps: hmm popov and those new kfc things.. could be interesting
@33: the kfc unmentionables alone would get you there, waste of cheap vodka. Unless you want to experiment with kfc (or vomit) flambeed… Let me know how it goes, I have to pretend to like some foodie place tonight – ugh.
NS and VS – really boys, soups are for wimps. Make it worth the publicity and legal costs.
Here’s the drill for game day: Have a midday Vending Machine Challenge as a warmup. Then choose from a DoubleDown challenge or a Subway Challenge (I’d recommend the latter if you are >6′). Close the trading day on a sugar high with a Dunkin’ Munchkin munch. After that head over to the Four Seasons for a few pre-game martinis and pester Gaspo for an autograph. Use it for toilet paper instead of those posh cloth handtowels – just make sure you swallow the first regurgitation of the evening and save it up.
Head over to the park. Make loud, drunken jokes about “Citi Field” at 53rd & Lex after you realize you missed the 7 train connection at Grand Central.
Once you get to Yankee Stadium, choke down a footlong just before you spot a couple of sad fucks who look like they just ended up on the wrong side of an EM rates strategy.
Start talking smack with them and then when they show they’ve got more bravado than common sense let it hurl.
You’ll be amazed how wonderful you feel standing in the dock telling the judge “Guilty as charged, sir!”
About time The Squid bought it.
Anti-Social retards.
I should hope that no-one at Goldman Sachs would do this type of gutterish activity BUT they seem to be pretty good at high-flying gutterish activity.
It is a shame to think that they will get away with this crime or in actual fact the wrong person will be punished …not like the gross people at the game.!
FtePfd Thanks again for the blog article.Thanks Again. Will read on…
Say, you got a nice blog.Really thank you! Keep writing.