You’ve probably already noticed that we have a new guest writer. Perhaps you’ve heard of him? Zach Kouwe, formerly of the NY Times, was last in the news in a little episode a little while back when it came to light that he borrowed passages from the Wall Street Journal, a no-no that got him dismissed.
You’re probably also aware he’d done a similar thing to yours truly when he lifted a memo from us and claimed he’d received it on his own (a claim later retracted by DealBook). Apparently that’s what it takes to get a job here these days! So ladies, if you’re looking for a new gig just start CTRL+C’ing DealBreaker– and I’m sure we’ll be giving you a call. Plagiarizers with tech expertise will get extra-special consideration.
This should be fun. Zackie boy, hope you have a thick skin.
I hope an errant condor shits on Zach’s head.
Milli Vanilli can sing the site’s new theme song.
Don’t worry Bess, the boys of DB will take him down or at least reduce him to a simpering mass of flesh.
http://static.businessinsider.com/image/4a7853789acf173d4bb1df61/zachery-kouwejpg.jpg
Zach, my opening question to you: Does your gf require a HB??
April Fools!!! A little late..
So you’re saying maybe Carney will come back?
Zach, I am going to cut out your tongue and staple it to your forehead.
-Kanye Kouwe
@5 – Yikes. Requires a paper bag.
@5 Fail..question should be has his boyfriend had the operation yet?
Zach,
I’m going to duct tape a large assortment of dry eraser board markers to your head, making you resemble a less frightening Hellraiser, before forcing you to deliver a package to Ping Capital Management LLC. When you return, complaining about a sore neck, I will create a neck cast using another roll of duct tape. You will then resemble an African tribesman with an elongated neck. Your transformation will be complete.
-Jeff Macke
the financial blogging industry has hit a new low.
~H. Blodget
@2, I think you meant egret.
this site lost what little credibility it has left
Was Jeff Chiang not available?
@14 = Jayson Blair
@16 If Jayson Blair got a job at BNY Mellon.
bess, leave this thread up top for a while – kouwer of power related commentary should be entertaining
Kouwer, I am going to cover you with tar and collie fur and leave you bound and gagged on Dennis Kneale’s doorstep.
-Lobsterclops
Copying others worked for me
- John Paulson
I would like to muzzle Zach and I know just the thing to use. Call me sweetie…
If “plagiarism is a mortal journalistic sin”, is working at DealBreaker hell?
Whoa, Whoa…is that the chick that everyone use to face-fuck at PfoHo?
DJ LIBOR
Hey ZACH! Welcome to Dealbreaker. Good Luck.
Also, NO BALLLS! NOOOOO BALLLLLS!
Bess, I never thought you’d be someone’s rebound. Is this part of some court-mandated community service?
AKBH : Michael Lewis :: BL/DB/WSJ : Zach Kouwe
From the looks of things, his beat is going to be covering Clusterstock’s leftovers. Should be a lay-up for him.
Zach, fuck yo couch!
“Zach, may the international space station of existential justice shit oxygen canisters on ya head.”
-A quote from one of Greenspan’s smart friends that knew about the housing bust, but forgot to mention it to him for about five years
Plagarists have no future!
- Joe Biden
Disney has officially lost its mind. The Immodest Mouse bought Club Penguin, a social networking site for the tween and pre-tween demo. As the name suggests, Club Penguin allows you to make your own penguin avatar and enter a virtual world where you can endure the brutal, constantly near-death existence of a penguin to the High School Musical soundtrack. Nothing eases the pain of standing on the outer edge of a pack during a blizzard on the verge of starvation and metabolic shutdown than “We’re All in This Together.”
Capitalizing on the popularity of penguins, who have displaced the morbidly obese in Hollywood as the de facto generators of lazy comedy (we all know, from Eddie Murphy movies to Big Momma’s House to Tyler Perry that everything fat people do is hilarious, but we are just beginning to discover that everything penguins do is hilarious, like surfing, dancing, or getting eaten), Club Penguin was founded by three Canadian dads in 2005. The site is ad-free, which makes it all the more un-monetizablelicious.
Disney paid $350 million for Club Penguin. The site must be huge to generate a price that’s almost 70% of what MySpace went for, right? Here’s the kicker – the site has 700,000 users. That means that Disney paid $500 per user (on what we’re sure is a pretty sad revenue number). Disney, deciding this wasn’t ridiculous enough, has promised another $350 million by 2009 if the site meets its growth targets.
The Wall Street Journal reports that the Club Penguin founders “decided to sell now because the company had got to a point where it needed a partner to grow.” That and they realized they hit the jackpot by coming across a drunkenly irrational mouse.
When Zuckerberg heard this, he instantly upped the required facebook bid in his head to $35 billion.
_____________________________________
Jeffrey Chiang
University of Texas at Austin, BBA Expected May 2010
917-635-7249
jeffrey.chiang@chiangitup.org
“Cry ‘Havoc’, and let slip the dogs of war, that this foul deed shall smell above the earth with carrion men, groaning for burial”
Copying others worked for me
-Mark Zuckerberg
Note to self at next blogging gig copy more.
-G. “Versace briefs” Michaels
Kouwe is Esperanto for Kopy Kat.
Why don’t you all fuck off and give the guy a chance??
Hilarious
@ 33 NS – may you watch Date Night…
G(eorge) Michaels and Versace? Versache more like it.
Plus: Cristiano Ronaldo 4 Armani 4ever.
@VS dont get me started on that shit; was forced to watch Ghosts of Girlfriends Past twice over the extended weekend.
can everyone pls focus on the fact that it says he’s a “GUEST” editor, as in not permanent? This too shall pass.
douchebag kangaroo.
Anyone wanna bet on the over/under for how long Zachy-poo lasts here before abandoning ship? I’ll go 30 days.
@39 – A2M? Rehoboth Beach, say 8pm?
@39 – are you going for an automatic ban everytime you post, or are you just so dense?
P.S./I like how you weaved the underwear motif, following the thread and all.
@42 – nevermind. Jersey Shore is gone. Again.
@42 – over. easy.
Naked, you don’t know pain until you face it. but twice? couldn’t you persuade her to go for the eye candy – although, I’ve been told, not enough WPQ in the CoT…
I see the IT gerbils are at it again. Either that or I am sobering up because posts keep disappearing and appearing. I swear that crap about Disney wasn’t here earlier.
Good Luck Zach – I’m sure you will class up this joint
TC,
That “crap about Disney” was Keith Hahn. Respect the history and culture of Dealbreaker. Show some decorum.
Zach,
I’m going to lure you with a lead on a SAC/PJ Capital story and then shove a Tide To-Go marker up your behind. Over time, its stain-removing powers will improve the appearance of your nether orifice, whereupon you will regain the name “Blanus”
-Jeff Macke
@ TC. It wasn’t here earlier but it is familiar. Hmmmmm ….
Zach, I feel you will soon be sentenced to death by SNU SNU.
-Kiff
@50/ MC – dial it down. I meant no harm. I was trying to make the point that posts seem to be appearing and disappearing leaving me with a sense of brain lesions. My comment was not meant to offend, please accept my humble appology. Now stop being such a Nancy.
Will Zach be able keep pumping up Jules Balkany’s “deals” while working at Dealbreaker?
http://www.thestreetsweeper.org/undersurveillance.html?i=350
VolatilitySmile@#44…
Is that the kind of car you want? SLS Gullwing? Not TGFD’s taste, but a nice choice if you can afford one.
Thanks for the auto-ban question.
The Guy from Delaware
Zach, we’re gunna fuck you till you love us.
-Kouwe know who…
How to do pronounce Kouwe?
Zacheus: True or not true, Krugman has a horizontal vagina. You know, like an Asian chick.
@58 Think it rhymes with “Zowie!”
@58 & 60 – my search is coming up with a similar result, though I prefer rhymes with cow pee
Kiwi?
Low hanging fruit?
@56 – VS’s Benz is getting a bit old (and boring), and there is this new toy, so…
Are you people still here?
For God’s sake, stop gaping at the road-side accident that is Zach’s life and go play outside!
Its spring for Christ’s sake!
@64 who are you calling “you people”
I want to make you mine
slap yo’ fat behind
tie you down and make you whine
I want you scratch my itch
and be my bitch…
cause I luv you, girl!
@25 It’s purgatory. DB is taking up religion. Wake up and smell the coffee.
Copying worked for me.
- Carlos Mencia
Bess you just love tossing us fresh meat! Let the kill begin.
Zacky you are a vicious beast and will be slaughtered here to show that you are not the strongest.
Biff Basness is going to eat your liver with some chianti and farva beans. Ssssssssssssssfffffffffffffffffffffffffffffffffff!
You mean he didn’t become a life coach?
I think what Bess is trying to say is I have officially been hired!
@68..NICE!
So Bess doesn’t want a sidekick?
I am pretty sure Zach is not getting paid to write at Dealbreaker. Why not use free labor with a decent source base? The question is who will believe his reporting – it might work if they are smart enough not to let him try to break original news.
At the end of the day Zach is a black sheep to the rest of the professional jurno world – let’s hope this odd choice by DB’s new Ad Age Editors is soon erased. In case you are not insulted enough by their choice to let him write at the funniest publication covering wall street news – here is a remindar of his arrogant attitude toward blogers
http://trueslant.com/paulsmalera/2010/03/08/kouwe-didnt-need-anti-plagiarism-software-just-intellectual-honesty/
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