When Lloyd Blankfein agreed to attend Obama’s speech this morning, only because he absolutely had to and not because he just has buckets of free time to mosey up to Astor Place, he knew there’d be some people there he didn’t want to see. Bob Diamond. Shmuck reporters. Obama’s favorite banker who can do no wrong (who actually turned out to be a no show, which rankled LB even more that his presence would have, because Fabio can do whatever he wants and nobody gives him shit for it).
Lloyd did not anticipate coming face to face with the guy who supported Matt Taibbi’s little attempts at fiction writing, because really, who the fuck invited the publisher of Rolling Stone? And yet, there he was. Jann Wenner. The guy who gave Taibbi-cat the green light to sit at his typewriter trying to come up with theories for how Goldman Sachs has been able to take over the world, pausing only to periodically make sure the Thermos of horse semen in the fridge hadn’t congealed.
In truth, when Blankfein first spied the guy across the room, he was stunned. Not because it was Taibbi’s boss but because, as he whispered to Gary Cohn, “Damn, Kurt Russel has put on weight.” After the GS president corrected him and yanked his arm back anticipating what was about to happen (reader poll: would it really have been that big a deal for LB to do a crotch grab in Wenner’s direction?), it was decided that Blanks would walk over and say hey.
The publisher said Blankfein, who he’d never met, approached him before the speech began and said, “I feel like I know you,” mentioning the vampire squid article.
Have to say, kind of disappointed Blankfein didn’t go with the best party trick ever, which is to walk up to someone in a crowded room and go “I feel like I know you…Oh, that’s right. I know how I know you. You raped me!” And also disappointed that we have no further details on the chat. Obviously, though, you guys know what LB is like and could probably figure it out. What shit in particular do we think was shot?
<3 Bess
YOU LIE!
- B. Roethlisberger
Is LB wearing a medal in that picture?
Was it “bring your spawn to CNBC” day or something?
@4 it was national take your child to work day. now shut up and focus.
I feel like I know you.
Szell!
Szell!
Szell!
@1 Agreed. FUCK KOUWE
Bess, all I’ll say is that “what shit In particular was shot?” happens to be a literal question, regardless of how you meant it
Bess, you are hilarious – the Wenner as Fat Kurt Russell line was masterful
thank you
TRB
First rule of the Street, never fuck with the tribe
Ah, come on people, it’s been all over the tabloids for years… Lloyd loves Almost Famous and who didn’t fall in love with Kate Hudson in that movie?
“I could break you, mate, in two pieces over my knees. You know it, I know it. I could buy you six times over.”
“you raped me!”:
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=Tpd6Yt15xU4
Bess, hilarious.
@6 You picked the great part of an otherwise terrible movie
@13 you get me.
Keep up the great writing Bess! You make my day!
A) I wish all the other damn writers for this site could learn how to write like this. Not in this style, because when they try they always fuck it up, but to this general standard of quality. Study this post, Greg, Zach, et al….
B) However, you’ve got this all wrong, Bess–this was a meeting between a Matt Taibbi’s semen dealer and semen supplier. Only a man with balls of solid gold can supply semen strong and powerful enough for Matt. It’s all a front–Lloyd’s been playing us, mocking Taibbi in public while supplying his addiction in private.
The practices of these banks are pretty ridiculous. I am in finance and I understand the need to have financial intermediaries, but you have to draw a line somewhere. If you haven’t read the article on JP Morgan by Taibbi it is pretty good.
http://www.rollingstone.com/politics/story/32906678/looting_main_street
Loyd Blankenfien is a criminal scumbag. Why you would defend him just because he is a fellow jew is beyond me.
I have a strong feeling this is why all jews pay the price when the the scum like Blankenfiens schemes ruin people lives.
Fuck all of you for setting up our country to go down this ugly road. Believe me its not going to be very comfortable being a jew in the USA after the US dollar crashes You people are bringing it on yourselves. Again. Assholes.
Jews have been and will be the downfall of America
@21 kill yourself.
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