Bloomberg reports that the Fabulous Fab has agreed to testify at a Senate hearing on the Hill next week. He’ll do so alongside Lloyd Blankfein, which *could* be awkward! What else will happen? Who the hell knows but here’s a few items for the wish list:
* He refers to himself in the third person, by his nickname
* Childhood stories about his days in France
* Interrupts Lloyd and gets a backhand to the face (and vice versa)
* WHAT ELSE?
spirit fingers
backhand = reach-around?
*Subtitles for those congressmen who can’t understand zee Frensch accent
sh*ts himself
Fab tells Lloyd to pull his finger during a recess. LLoyd asks many questions about Fab’s alleged privately arranged nude walk through Versailles as seen on the hotel room charges.
“Interrupts Lloyd and gets a backhand to the face (and vice versa)”
This imagery absolutely kills it. Bravo Bess.
What, no ‘Faaaaabulous’ tag?
This will be live-blogged, I assume . . .
@6 The brightsiding on this board is getting a bit much
ellipses@8 obviously
@9 wtf are you talking about?
@9 are you saying it wasn’t great imagery?
Hopefully he will go into detail about how hard it is to be taken seriously as a banker when you have a huge butt chin.
Imagery, that’s like when you use your imagination and make stuff up, right? Very familiar with that here.
- AIG Quant
will he have an interpreter like Toyoda? I mean not all the senators understand english or for that matter understand anything having to do with the financial markets.
LB should bring a chalkboard and break it down Beck style…
Excuse me Bess, but you forgot:
Fab says, “To cheat, yes that is French, but to get caught, well, that is American”.
Just before Fab is about to testify, he looks over his shoulder, notices his older brother has been flown in from Provance and seated next to Hank Paulson…
will he speak with a Chinese accent, claiming a severe migraine?
Best strategy is to just straight-up break down and cry.
@17 — nice GFII reference, but you should have gone with Gary Cohn instead of Hank.
Ashley Dupre will sit in the visitors area sucking on a banana, head down and eyes up, and will wave at Fab from time to time with her free hand.
Fabulous Fab will arive by ship, bringing along his brown 1971 Oldsmobile 88 with CDO pitchbooks hidden in the body panels.
He will be shot in the back by Blankfein after he tries to flee via the Metro Red Line to New Carrolton.
I like the imagery in @21′s post. I am imagining it right now.
I found FAB:
http://guestofaguest.com/wp-content/uploads/2008/09/whereiswaldo.png
DJ LIBOR
who will introduce himself to the other first, fab for lloyd? or will they play it cool like they’re long lost buds?
offers to settle the entire case over a tennis match, challenging the SEC to bring forth their best.
@21 = Ashley Dupre
fishnet bodysuit
bahaha @24 WALDO + DJ LIBOR
Fabulous Fab will be accompanied to the hearing by Fab Five Freddy…..and Dan Loeb of course.
He’s going to suggest the prosecution presents false evidence, convince the judge to allow it, sell a ‘mistrial’ to the jury, all while distracting the SEC members with handheld TVs looping tranny porn and sending BBMs to his friends about how fabolous fab saved the day, again.
Lloyd will admire from a distance.
The whole hearing is about to collapse anytime now… Only potential survivor, the fabulous Fab standing in the middle, of la Rive Droite and la Rive Gauche, under a gentle accumulation of volcano ash, unable and unwilling to travel to some political kangaroo court he faces without necessarily understanding all of the implications of those congressional monstruosities.
Impromptu Spit Roast…. Lloyd Blankfein + Fabulous Fab + Lucas Van Praag
Like my fiance, he’s French so obviously he’ll just surrender.
Fabrice is complimented, then exonerated, by Barney Frank due to his French accent sounding so perfectly gay without even trying.
The details of my life are quite inconsequential… very well, where do I begin? My father was a relentlessly self-improving boulangerie owner from Belgium with low grade narcolepsy and a penchant for buggery. My mother was a fifteen year old French prostitute named Chloe with webbed feet. My father would womanize, he would drink. He would make outrageous claims like he invented the question mark. Sometimes he would accuse chestnuts of being lazy. The sort of general malaise that only the genius possess and the insane lament.
My childhood was typical. Summers in Rangoon, luge lessons. In the spring we’d make meat helmets. When I was insolent I was placed in a burlap bag and beaten with reeds- pretty standard really. At the age of twelve I received my first scribe. At the age of fourteen a Zoroastrian named Vilma ritualistically shaved my testicles. There really is nothing like a shorn scrotum… it’s breathtaking- I highly suggest you try it.
You guys are kidding, right? Lloyd has already retained 3 of the most talented taxidermists in the world…….The Frenchie won’t be saying anything that Lloyd wouldn’t say himself.
I’m thinking immunity bath.
I’d like to see Maxine Waters ask some inane question to Fabulous Fab and watch the Fab-ster look over at Lloyd and answer, “I’ll let Baldy take that question….”
LOL @36
@36 Dr. you leave me breathless
@39: I’d like to see Maxine Waters ask some inane question to Fabulous Fab and watch the Fab-ster look over at Lloyd and answer, “I’ll let Baldy take that question….”
Every now and then, he spits on Lloyd’s cranium and dries it to a shine with his sleeve.
Ashley Dupri looks like this yoga instructor I fucked. I came in her pussy without warning while pulling her hair then kicked her out. We can only expect the same scenario for what Lloyd will do to Fab.
Fab is getting thrown under the bus. Lets hope he has a good lawyer, immunity and enough information to name names. Otherwise he should plan on living under an assumed name in some Francophile country.
@36…”Calling Dr. Powers, Dr.Fine, Dr. Powers…”
They will both be evicerated in front of live television… Only GS would be pedantic enough to voluntarily walk into Cannae and expect to get out alive.
Stick a fork in them. They’re done
Fab: “I am sorry Monsieur. I do not understand zee question. Or, perhaps, you do not understand what you are asking. No?”
@44 I hear Burkina Faso is quite pleasant this time of year.
Fab will add “christ, what an asshole!” to the end of one of LB’s statements.
No way Fab shows, if DOJ drops criminal charges he will be in very strange place legally, he is already on an island in the civil suit. Best hope the volcano keeps belching and pull a stay-at-home-best-wishes to Levin and co.
GS is fucked btw, fucked. They brokered the trade, they violated 10b-5. bush league fuck up, for a bunch of bush league fuck ups.
deeznutz
@48 I was thinking more like the Algerian outback or perhaps or that lovely little island that Papillon stayed on.
Maxine: Fabulous, you are from France, right?
Fab: Yes, Madame
It is funny in Europe we do the same stuff but we have small differences.
Maxine: How do they call a bond in France?
Fab: Obligation.
Maxine: Oh! Is that because of the metric system?
Fab: Yes Madamm
Maxine: How do they call a CDO?
Fab: A CDO is a CDO, but we call it “le CDO”
@17 — nice GFII reference, but you should have gone with ProvEnce instead of ProvAnce