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THE CHICKEN IS THE BUN!
I believe the answer is yes, and it’s this, the Paul Tudor Jones-approved KFC Double Down Sandwich. (Description: “This one-of-a-kind sandwich features two thick and juicy boneless white meat chicken filets, two pieces of bacon, two melted slices of Monterey Jack and pepper jack cheese and Colonel’s Sauce. This product is so meaty, there’s no room for a bun!”). But, obviously some details need to be ironed out. Continue reading »
And she’s going to work it into this report about Bank America’s need to be broken up whether you like it or not, god damn it. (It’s not as random and unnecessary as it might seem– the coed’s Philosophy 101 professor was a dead ringer for Brian Moynihan and, oh, the stories she could tell you about some very special office hours. Another time.) Continue reading »
If the lengthy story in ProPublica wasn’t enough, Magnetar Capital now has to deal with a show tune created about its infamous trade called “Bet Against the American Dream.” Continue reading »
UBS Posts Highest Quarterly Earnings in Almost Three Years on Debt Trading (Bloomberg)
UBS said pretax profit was at least 2.5 billion Swiss francs ($2.4 billion) in the first-quarter, the highest level since the second quarter of 2007.
NY State Sees “Deep Well” Of UBS Client Tax Cases (Reuters)
New York state could glean considerable sums from UBS clients who have evaded taxes by hiding money in offshore accounts once the federal government starts handing over its data to the states, a New York state tax official said. “That’s really a deep well and I expect we’ll be digging in that well for some time,” William Comiskey, New York State Tax Department’s Deputy Commissioner for enforcement, told Reuters.
BlueGold Beats Average Hedge Fund With 12.5% Return (BW)
BlueGold Capital Management LLP, the energy hedge fund manager overseeing $1.7 billion in assets, returned 12.5 percent to investors in March, more than four times the gain of the average hedge fund.
Light At The End Of The Bailout Tunnel (WSJ)
Great news, this thing is only costing $89 billion.
Soros Warns Europe Of Disintegration (FT)
“It is 50-50 whether the eurozone breaks up. The damage that break up would cause is so great, that I think that as people realise it, they will pull back from the brink,” Soros told the Financial Times in an interview. “But we are at the brink now…a solution has to be found in a matter of days.”
Executives Say Competition Drove Fannie To Brink (NYT)
In testimony before the Financial Crisis Inquiry Commission, Robert J. Levin, Fannie’s former chief business officer, said that Fannie risked losing its “relevance” in the market if it didn’t ply in riskier mortgages.
Is Taiwan’s male “Whitney Houston” the next Susan Boyle? (Reuters)
“Close your eyes and tell me — have you forgotten you’re listening to a reality show and started to think you’re hearing “The Bodyguard”,” wrote CNN’s news blog editor Mallory Simon about Lin’s performance. Continue reading »
$$$ The Milken Institute is giving away 15 free passes to its annual conference (regular registration for the 3-day event is $4,295). Deadline to sign up is tomorrow! [Milken]
$$$ The Debate Over Betting on Box Office Is Moving to Washington [NYO]
$$$ UBS Whistleblower Rues His Tack, Not His Tune [WSJ]
$$$ Former Merrill Lynch Executive Forced to Declare Bankruptcy, Relinquish Mansions [Daily Intel]
Jesse Eisinger and Jake Bernstein of ProPublica just published an exhaustive narrative on what has become known on Wall Street as the Magnetar trade.
We won’t ruin it for you, but basically the giant Chicago hedge fund, started by former Citadel trader Alec Litowitz (left), helped create $40 billion worth of extremely toxic CDOs after housing prices began to slide in late 2006. With the help of nearly every bank of Wall Street those CDOs were sold to other investors. Continue reading »
A couple weeks ago we mentioned the fact that Jamie Dimon would be Syracuse University’s commencement speaker this May. This was prior to the Orangemen being knocked out of the tournament and at the time we warned that as James Dimon only addressed champions, they’d best not fuck things up. As you know, that’s exactly what they did. And yet, being the big-hearted, strapping CEO he is, Dimon did not back out of the gig, figuring he’d fill his quota for charity cases for the year. This afternoon we received some interesting info. Namely that the “Cuse” is “concerned” about hosting Jamie. That’s right. THEY are worried about having HIM. Which, I don’t have to tell you, is pretty fucking galling. The only person who should be reevaluating this situation is JD. Why don’t you kids win something and then you can start “expressing your concerns.”
Subject: Message From Chancellor Nancy Cantor
April 9, 2010
Dear Students, Faculty and Staff,
As we approach commencement, there have been concerns expressed over the choice of Jamie Dimon, Chairman and CEO of JPMorgan Chase, as this year’s commencement speaker. In my experience, virtually every commencement speaker arouses a broad array of reactions, in line with the diversity of interests, opinions, and passions on a university campus, though I understand that in this economic climate the concerns may be especially acute.
Does Joe want Bernanke’s job? Continue reading »
5 g's a year and all this can be yours.
Do you want to party with a bunch of tools for free or do you want to pay for the opportunity to do so? If you answered “sign me up for the latter,” Carbon NYC might be right for you. Continue reading »
A few months ago, a number of Goldman Sachs shareholders suggested that they have some sort of say on Lloyd Blankfein and the rest of his team’s pay. At the time LB and Co humored them because of the whole public image crap, and since it’d been suggested in their sensitivity training classes to “take a second and listen to what others have to say,” no matter how stupid they may be. Finally the torturous period of enforced “acting like you care” ended and my god, it felt so good to fire off a note letting clients know that next time, before drafting a letter full of feelings and ideas re: how the company should be run, to ask thyself, “Does anyone in the c-suite give a shit about what I think?” Most people feel in line but either the scamps at the Christian Brothers Investment Services didn’t get the memo or they’re trying to workshop some sort of comedy routine because what they’re suggesting is a real gas. Continue reading »
As you know the Wall Street Journal prides itself on uncovering the big stories that are not yet being told. They were the first to bring the serious issue of chest hair (to flaunt or not to flaunt) to light, they talked about spray tanning when no one else would and I know I don’t have to remind you it was Rupert’s crack investigative team that blew the lid off Cankles. This morning, they’ve done it again, with a Page One feature on drinking. Sometimes people do it! Continue reading »
