When Vikram Pandit first joined Citi, he was a happy, smiley Uncle Vik. And why shouldn’t he have been? The bank had just laid out hundreds of millions of dollars to land him and he was thisclose to buying Tony Randall’s apartment. Plus, he’s just always had a sunny disposition.
Despite the fact that that his hedge fund was eventually put out to pasture after its all-too-short two years of (mis)managing money, and a precipitously falling stock price, nothing could get him down. As time went on though, they started to break him. A certain analyst made a habit of hiding in his closet, waiting ’til he fell asleep and then popping out, tying him up and shoving a sock in his mouth. Jamie Dimon called him a “jerk” on a conference call. The government outfitted him with an ankle monitoring bracelet and a boot up the ass. Citi was removed from the Dow. He made a promise not to take more than a $1 salary per year and who knew when the Christ that was going to happen. He was told he couldn’t have a Zen Garden. It was all too much to bear and Vickles had a major case of the sads. He lost weight. And because he lost weight he was forced to close his Tickle a Vickle booth in the office on Park (people don’t wait in line for hours to Tickle an anorexic Vickle). The whole thing was depressing to watch, let alone experience personally and we spent a good deal of time wondering if we’d ever have the old Vik back. It seemed unlikely. Today though? JOYOUS NEWS TO THE CONTRARY.
Some of Mr. Pandit’s most trusted advisers notice a new bounce in his step and say he is more energetic at meetings.
Citigroup’s Chief Shrinks Company, Eyeing Growth (NYT)
THIS IS A REAL QUOTE: “Vikram is looking and sounding a lot more confident and secure,” said one top lieutenant. “He has a smile on his face. He sees the day when he is going to earn more than a $1 a year.”
Financial Crisis Inquiry Wrestles With Setbacks (NYT)
In recent months, a top investigator resigned, frustrated by delays in assembling a staff. Behind closed doors the panel’s chairman and vice chairman have had heated disagreements over whether to make public preliminary findings or revelatory documents. Entities like Citigroup and the Treasury have complained that the panel’s requests for information have been vague and voluminous.
Morgan Stanley’s Phillips ‘board’ with his post (NYP)
Charles E. Phillips is leaving the firm’s board of directors, a few months after his long-time gal pal, YaVaughnie Wilkins, splashed his face on giant ads across the country. YaVaughnie was unaware that she was Phillips’ mistress, because he told her that he had finalized his divorce with Karen in 2003. One of the giant billboards, posted at the corner of West 52nd Street and Broadway, near Times Square, declared “Charles & YaVaughnie.” It encouraged onlookers to go to the Web site charlesphillipandyavaughniewilkins.com.
Last week we discussed the matter of Citi employee Dorly Hazan Amir, an associate in Citigroup’s asset finance division who is suing the bank on the grounds that she was mommy-tracked. DHA claimed that “supervisors have discriminated against her because of here gender since the beginning of her tenure” and that when she became pregnant, “the attitude of her bosses reportedly worsened,” with one manager asking H-A if she planned to be a “career mom” or a “mom mom.” DHA also said that her pregnancy “became the butt of jokes in the office as my male co-workers discussed setting up a pool to discuss how much weight I would gain as a result of my pregnancy.” While not taking sides, we noted the time that this was pretty inventive, especially considering the idea came from the Big C Brain Trust and not Goldman, which should’ve come up with it first for their resident mom. Now more of DHA’s allegations have come out and all we have to say is this: CAN’T YOU PEOPLE DO ANYTHING RIGHT??? The answer is apparently no. Continue reading »
It’s not that they want to, as it would go against everything the Commission stands for (incompetence, letting frauds run rampant), not to mention seriously cut in on everyone’s porn surfing time. It’s just that, (no) thanks to the infernal examiner’s report, they might have, or risk looking worse than they already do.** Continue reading »
You’ve probably already noticed that we have a new guest writer. Perhaps you’ve heard of him? Zach Kouwe, formerly of the NY Times, was last in the news in a little episode a little while back when it came to light that he borrowed passages from the Wall Street Journal, a no-no that got him dismissed. Continue reading »
We know Carl Icahn is such a tough guy he’ll sue his friends and fellow billionaires to win deals. But, has the outspoken sultan of shareholder rights been silenced by Washington lawmakers?
The billionaire’s blog, The Icahn Report, launched nearly two years ago with much fanfare to take on inept corporate boards, has been radio silent for nearly a year. (Icahn also started a grassroots campaign – The United Shareholders of America – at the same time.)
Carl, WTF? We need you. Are you too busy sparring with The Donald and Lions Gate to weigh in on financial reform and corporate governance? Continue reading »
According to Alan Greenspan, it’s a “a very small group,” maybe four or five people. And they’re all good friends of his. Why didn’t they cue him in on the situation? And if they did, why didn’t McG listen? He’d rather not say at this time. But while we’re on the matter of friends, one last thing. In addition to the very few people who got it right, there a bunch who got it “wrong,” having failed to understand the “complexities” that were about to emerge, such as, throwing a name out there, Angelo Mozilo. A lot of you pipsqueaks have tried to paint it otherwise, claiming he knew exactly what was happening, that he was some sort of used car salesman, in a sad attempt impugn the integrity of this beautiful man. Well let is be said right here and now, don’t you even dare attempt to pin one iota of blame on him (or me). Neither of us couldn’ve seen this coming. He was and continues to be HEARTBROKEN over this.
All of America's most dangerous men have umbrella carriers. True story.
According to Simon Johnson, it’s because he runs a big bank and is smart. Obviously, though, there are many, many other reasons why JD is deserving of the title. In order to protect ourselves, the nation, and fuck, the entire planet, we need to identify the most serious now. Is it: Continue reading »
Federal Prosecutors Leaning Against Charges in AIG Probe (WSJ)
Breathe easy, Joe Cassano: “Federal prosecutors, after a two-year investigation, may soon decide not to charge American International Group Inc. executives for their role surrounding financial contracts that nearly brought down the company, according to people familiar with the matter. Recently obtained evidence has prosecutors leaning against pursuing charges, though no final decision has been made by Justice Department prosecutors in Washington, these people said. A Justice Department spokeswoman declined to comment.”
Greenspan Cites Economic ‘Momentum’ (NYT)
“There is a momentum building up which is really just beginning, and it’s got a way to go,” Mr. Greenspan said on ABC’s “This Week” television program, when asked about Friday’s report that 162,000 jobs had been created in March. “The momentum is very clearly there, and I doubt very much that we’re going to run out of that momentum until very late in the year,” he said, adding that the odds that the country would plunge anew into a recession have fallen significantly.
I Foresaw The Financial Crisis, Why Didn’t The Fed? (NYT)
Michael Burry: “As a nation, we cannot afford to live with Mr. Greenspan’s way of thinking. The truth is, he should have seen what was coming and offered a sober, apolitical warning. Everyone would have listened; when he talked about the economy, the world hung on every single word. Unfortunately, he did not give good advice.”
Buffett’s Berkshire is best-regarded U.S. company (Reuters)
The five companies with the worst reputations were Freddie Mac, American International Group Inc, Fannie Mae, Citigroup, and Goldman Sachs.
Dimon mulls JPMorgan Chase succession plan (NYP)
According to people familiar with the matter, JPMorgan Chase CEO Jamie Dimon will be shuffling the roles of his key lieutenants in order to set the stage for his eventual successor. Among those likely to see their jobs change in the next few months is CFO Michael Cavanagh; Charlie Scharf, CEO of the bank’s massive retail-services unit; and Samuel “Todd” Maclin, CEO of commercial banking.
Steven Cohen’s Ex-Wife Is Sued by Former Lawyer Batista Over Suit (BW)
In the complaint, which also names Patricia Cohen’s new lawyer, Gaytri Kachroo, Paul Batista seeks to place a lien on any eventual settlement or judgment that Patricia Cohen wins. Batista also seeks to be reimbursed for expenses he incurred on his former client’s behalf over the seven months he spent preparing the case. “Kachroo and Cohen have publicly, repeatedly and falsely claimed that plaintiff Batista was ‘discharged’ or ‘terminated’ for ‘cause,’” according to the complaint. Their “statements regarding plaintiff Batista are false and are a pretext created by defendants Kachroo and Cohen in an effort to deprive plaintiff of the fees earned and to be earned.”
AIG Growing Less Reliant on U.S., On Path to Repay Bailout, Benmosche Says (Bloomberg)
“We are well on our way to paying back the Federal Reserve” with the sales of American Life Insurance Co. and AIA Group Ltd. to MetLife Inc. and Prudential Plc, Benmosche said. “We are beginning to show the appropriate returns you’d expect of a company of our stature.”
Goldman Sachs Fund Buys Stake in Ganek’s $4 Billion Hedge Fund (Bloomberg)
Goldman Sachs’s Petershill Fund Offshore LP, a $1 billion fund set up to buy minority stakes in hedge funds, bought a minority stake in David Ganek’s Level Global Investors LP.
Morgan Stanley pulling out of Revel Casino (NBC)
Morgan Stanley is pulling out of the $2 billion Revel casino in Atlantic City, N.J., and is prepared to take “a substantial loss” on the stalled project, into which it has sunk $1.2 billion, the company said.
When Vikram Pandit first joined Citi, he was a happy, smiley Uncle Vik. And why shouldn’t he have been? The bank had just laid out hundreds of millions of dollars to land him and he was thisclose to buying Tony Randall’s apartment. Plus, he’s just always had a sunny disposition. 
