A couple months ago, we discussed an SEC worker who got in a bit of trouble with his employer for checking out a little porn while on the job. The unnamed supervisor made at least 1,800 logged attempts to check out some sites that included www.ladyboyx.com, www.ladyboyjuice.com, www.trannytit.com, and www.anal-sins.com, which, he admitted, “were kind of distraction per se.” Since then, when mentioning the Commission, we’ve casually suggested (by stating outright) that the majority of the staff spends its time looking at porn instead of, for instance, nailing Allen Stanford or Bernie Madoff. But we were just kidding! We had no reason to believe anyone but the tranny fetishist did this. A little hyperbole, etc. You know how it goes. As it turns out, though, the guy is actually in some good company. Like he told the lawyer sent in to investigate the matter, the hundreds attempts to get on www.ladyboyjuice.com alone in one day was an outlet to deal with the stress of the job. And according to a new probe by the SEC inspector general, over 30 of his colleagues, who ramped up their porn viewing time since the crisis started, have the same excuse. The world was ending! How could they be expected to deal with the global financial meltdown without Anal Sins 9-5? Also let’s give props where props are due. Some of these people (like the attorney who “admitted to downloading so much pornography to his government computer that he exhausted the available space on the computer hard drive and downloaded pornography to CDs or DVDs that he accumulated in boxes in his office”) are great problem solvers. They’d probably do a good job of catching frauds if they weren’t looking at tranny tits all day.

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Comments (46)

  1. Posted by Anonymous | April 23, 2010 at 10:43 AM
  2. Posted by NakedShort | April 23, 2010 at 10:43 AM

    One of the perverts was a chick. AWESOME

  3. Posted by Spankwire officiando | April 23, 2010 at 10:44 AM

    Ah Bess, I knew you would wait till after Opening Bell to post this beauty. Thanks, should be a fun thread.

  4. Posted by cayne's roach clip | April 23, 2010 at 10:46 AM

    I giggle like a 4 year old every time I read the words tranny tit

  5. Posted by Bess Levin | April 23, 2010 at 10:48 AM

    @ why did you just link to a story about a story I just wrote?

  6. Posted by Anonymous | April 23, 2010 at 10:53 AM

    “An SEC accountant attempted to access porn websites 1,800 times in a two-week period and had 600 pornographic images on HER computer hard drive.”

    awesome

  7. Posted by Anonymous | April 23, 2010 at 11:00 AM

    Goldmans Defense: The SEC is attacking us because our marketing materials were not LBGTQF friendly

    Judge: True, true

  8. Posted by Anonymous | April 23, 2010 at 11:05 AM

    funny, i check this site and read about tranny porn when work gets overtly stressful

  9. Posted by Anonymous | April 23, 2010 at 11:10 AM

    Did anyone ever check Chris Cox’s or Harvey Pitt’s computer?

  10. Posted by Anonymous | April 23, 2010 at 11:13 AM

    your tax dollars, hard at work

  11. Posted by TGFD | April 23, 2010 at 11:14 AM

    Really. Just WTF is wrong with looking at internet porn? TGFD does it all the time, and it hasn’t adversely affected my behavior at all.

    Tranny porn? Now someone who looks at that stuff is a sick f*ck.

    The Guy from Delaware

  12. Posted by Pfluger the Barbarian | April 23, 2010 at 11:17 AM

    Hyperlinks to the sites that allegedly contain pornographic images would allow people to more efficiently determine whether these charges against SEC officials have merit.

  13. Posted by Anonymous | April 23, 2010 at 11:17 AM

    I’m surfing porn right now. The only problem I see is that I need at least 5 minutes notice before I can stand up and walk anywhere.

  14. Posted by Anonymous | April 23, 2010 at 11:18 AM

    Mary Shapiro just shat her pants.

  15. Posted by Anonymous | April 23, 2010 at 11:18 AM

    @10 nothing, except when its on company time on company laptops.

  16. Posted by JonIndia™ | April 23, 2010 at 11:18 AM

    Classic SEC, just classic. You know, they might not be the greatest in finance, but atleast they’re monitoring porn.

  17. Posted by Anonymous | April 23, 2010 at 11:19 AM

    What is the problem with all this?

    Christopher Cox (my real name is Chris Smith)

  18. Posted by Anal_yst | April 23, 2010 at 11:20 AM

    So are you telling me if you just check out pron maybe 10 minutes a day that you’re totally in the clear @ the SEC?

  19. Posted by M.V. | April 23, 2010 at 11:26 AM

    @16 – so . . . you’re saying you use an alias for your nefarious deeds then? How dastardly!

    –Ron Mexico

  20. Posted by NakedShort | April 23, 2010 at 11:26 AM

    @9 hard at work is right!

  21. Posted by guest | April 23, 2010 at 11:26 AM

    @5 Yes, it all sounds so hot when you read it but in the end these women all have been beaten up with the Ugly Stick. Here’s a good example from Morgan Stanley:

    http://wallstfolly.typepad.com/wallstfolly/2006/04/the_case_of_the.html

  22. Posted by TGFD | April 23, 2010 at 11:27 AM

    Note to DB…

    On this page, TGFD sees an AD for Colonial Williamsburg. Thank you for promoting that cultural venue. Mrs. TGFD gets emails from them frequently, and we get the impression that CW is not doing all that well financially.

    Colonial Williamsburg is the kind of historical cultural treasure in America that needs preserving, and a nurturing boost by the US gov’t would be appropriate. Multiculturalism bullshit should not be getting the support and encouragement that it is receiving from the gov’t.

    How about a bailout for Colonial Williamsburg?

    The Guy from Delaware

  23. Posted by guest | April 23, 2010 at 11:28 AM

    What? No dildos?

  24. Posted by Anonymous | April 23, 2010 at 11:28 AM

    TGFD = works for the SEC. Get him!

    -Areaist

  25. Posted by Anonymous | April 23, 2010 at 11:32 AM

    @5 these days there are girls surfing porn during class, in addition to facebook. A professor told me she caught one while walking the aisles and they were both startled. However, overall females surf porn occasionally or rarely, they are just better at hiding it – as with most things.

  26. Posted by SEC Guy | April 23, 2010 at 11:36 AM

    I’m sorry, I uh…didn’t know I couldn’t do that.

    (you see what I did there, that was good one, because I DID know I couldn’t do that..sure fooled them.)

  27. Posted by Anonymous | April 23, 2010 at 11:38 AM

    I think the SEC should get Macquarie to advise them on these matters.

  28. Posted by TGFD | April 23, 2010 at 11:40 AM

    What do you guys suggest? Water soluble or synthetic?

    Thanks,

    The Gay from Delaware

  29. Posted by Jeffrey Gundlach | April 23, 2010 at 11:42 AM

    I see nothing wrong with this, as long as it’s a closed chapter of their lives

  30. Posted by TGFD | April 23, 2010 at 11:45 AM

    TGFDimposter@#27…

    TGFD’s suggestion is that you try getting your own, unique moniker for a change.

    The Guy from Delaware

  31. Posted by Anonymous | April 23, 2010 at 11:46 AM
  32. Posted by Anonymous | April 23, 2010 at 11:48 AM

    Gotta catch em’ all…Pokemon!

    -Mary Schapiro

  33. Posted by TGFD | April 23, 2010 at 11:49 AM

    TGFDimposter@#29…

    TGFD suggests Bess block his IP address.

    The (real) Gay from Delaware

  34. Posted by TGFD | April 23, 2010 at 11:54 AM

    JonIndia…

    Any chick with a name like Rashida doesn’t do a damn thing for TGFD. WhereTF is your taste man?

    The Guy from Delaware

  35. Posted by Anonymous | April 23, 2010 at 11:55 AM

    What does NSFW mean?

    ~SEC staffer

  36. Posted by Anonymous | April 23, 2010 at 11:56 AM

    Fight! TGDF vs. TGFD!

  37. Posted by Anonymous | April 23, 2010 at 11:57 AM

    it makes me think…if only Markopolos was wearing leather pants holding a whip, drenched in strawbeery flavored rubbing oil, only then would have the SEC taken him seriously….

  38. Posted by Anonymous | April 23, 2010 at 12:08 PM

    I admit, I had a problem with porn in my youth. After 25 years, I’ve almost got it licked.

  39. Posted by OptionTrader | April 23, 2010 at 12:19 PM

    Why don’t you tell everybody what the fuck you gotta say?

    Fuck tha SEC
    Comin straight from the underground
    Young nigga got it bad cuz I’m trading Citi-town
    And not the other Lloyd B so SEC think
    They have the authority to bust a day-trader minority

    Fuck that shit, cuz I ain’t tha one
    For a punk muthafucka with a badge and an algorithm
    To be beatin on, and throwin in jail
    We could go toe to toe in the middle of a cell

    You’d rather see me in the pen
    Then me and Lorenzo rollin in the Benzo
    Beat tha SEC outta shape
    And when I’m finished, bring the Red tape
    To tape off the scene of the slaughter
    Still can’t swallow bread and water

  40. Posted by Investorcluzo | April 23, 2010 at 12:23 PM

    what’s this fascination with trannies? first eddie murphy, then hugh grant – you’re either gay or you’re not. why go half way? suck one c*k and you’ll always be a c*ksucker! just sayin’…

  41. Posted by guest | April 23, 2010 at 2:06 PM

    @20 Ugh….come on we just ate lunch here!!!!

  42. Posted by Anonymous | April 23, 2010 at 2:37 PM

    Props to @35…..well played, insightful and professional.

  43. Posted by volatilitysmile | April 23, 2010 at 2:58 PM

    @39. I tend to disagree. One has to aspire to get the tasks off one’s bucket list.

    Besides, with me and Greg, it’s just fooling around in our Armani/Versace u-wear, this does not diminish what he has with his GF, or what I have with Itchiko. Or, does it?

  44. Posted by Anonymous | April 23, 2010 at 3:03 PM

    so you’ve finally fixedthis?!?!

  45. Posted by rblewis6 | April 23, 2010 at 3:49 PM

    Wait a minute, since the SEC is funded by the taxpayers, doesn’t that mean we should have free access to those images and videos? After all, We The People own them now.

  46. Posted by Violet Petran | April 29, 2010 at 5:42 PM

    I think that the most interesting aspect about this case is not the fact that people are taking breaks during work but the stupidity of saving so much explicit material on a work computer…and then when he ran out of room saving and storing them on work discs! It is also interesting to see that it was much higher-ranking employees engaging in these “porn breaks.” If people werent careful before, maybe they will be now!