Do you need that visual? Of this guy attempting to log onto www.ladyboyjuice.com 385 times in one day? Or of his colleague freaking out over his hard drive being full of all the porn he’d previously saved, and frantically rummaging through his desk to find some CDs on which to put his new stash? If you answered yes and hell yes, at least one law firm is fighting for your rights.
The SEC is facing a federal lawsuit for keeping secret the names of dozens of its supervisors, employees and contractors who spent their workdays looking at pornography on their government computers. The lawsuit, filed Friday by a Denver- and Washington-based law firm, accuses the SEC of violating federal open-records law by shielding the identities of more than two dozen current and past porn-snooping workers.
“There simply is no privacy right or interest to search pornography on SEC computers, particularly during work hours,” says the 17-page complaint, filed in federal court in Denver.
The firm, Steese, Evans & Frankel, filed the lawsuit after it requested information on the spate of workplace pornography investigations through a Freedom of Information Act request. Although the firm received documents on the misconduct investigations, the names of those involved were redacted.
depends what kind of face?
I am 110% against this.
- Mousy, pot bellied, mustachioed Indian man with sticky keyboard
for no other reason than it’s awesome:
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=bq9993iJlYU
@3 i was an angel investor for the shake weight
Most European trading companies have a simple rule: Anyone caught watching porn on company time and on a company computer has to work in a large open area trading room for monitoring purposes. Such trading rooms are declared as being “state of the art” to distract concerned investors and visitors. Most US trading firms allegedly do the same thing. So, the next time you’re watching CNBC and see a large open air trading room you’ll know the reason why.
I didn’t know lurch worked in the SEC. That guy has a bigger hunch than the trannie Anal_yst pays for sex.
god damn idiot @5 wait, really? do you think people don’t know what trading floors look like? and that the reason you stated for why has no basis in reality except for the reality of you pulling shit out of your ass?
@5 kill yourself. right now.
@5 – seeing @7 and @8 react to your post made me smile. Well played.
@5 I am pretty sure all trading floors are wide big open spaces visible to all – what exactly are you talking about?
It sounds like the Joke Briefer may need to chime in here before the MIT grads (@7 and @8 ) with BO (see today’s Doonesbury”) over use their shake weights too much.
@5 As a trader you are more full of shit than Bernie Maddoff’s offer to give Allen Sanford a handjob if he gives him anal sex first in prison.
I’m going to rip your eyes out and fuck your eye sockets.
OT but, Bess, I look forward to write-offs every day, just wanted you to know that. Even on slow news days. And I doubt I’m the only one.
Haven’t seen such hot commentariat reaction like @5 is getting since the Nomura “twat” haiku a long while back.
@14 prob cause no one’s ever said anything as stupid as @5.
@5 But how do they JO&C in that environment. Nah, I call bullshit.
So, @5 haters, It’s OK to pick on Maria, Charlie, Amanda, Dennis, Quesadilla, Cramer, Kudlow et all but OH NO don’t go pickin’ on trade room personnel? Hypocritical?
@5 is probably Bob Pisani
@13 is passive aggressive
@17 what the fuck are you talking about? we’re hating on 5 for thinking he knows wtf he’s talking about, when in fact he’s a moron the forehead slapper shouldn’t even dignify with a response (tho I’m waiting for one).
CAN WE GET A JOKE BRIEFER IN HERE PLEASE.
Re: the question at hand…surely Chris Theoharis has been through enough humiliation.
@5
[Golf clap]
If the Joke Briefer has to explain @5′s humorism it will reflect poorly on the IQ level of the commentariat working on trade floors everywhere. Also, The Forehead Slapper does work on a trading floor I think from images–perhaps of him– I have seen via other online business tabloids.
@22 the JB is not needed. 5 haters are all the same guy w/ a little late in day roid rage.
I saw that guy on chatroulette last night
@20
The premise of the joke in question was that trading floors are not trading floors at all; but in fact are observatories designed to deter and discourage their occupants from enjoying porn while at work (again) thereby becoming a repeat offender.
- The Joke Briefer Remix (not quite as good as the original)
@HH I respectfully disagree. The premise of the joke is that traders caught surfing porn are placed in a central location where they can surf porn in a supervised setting. It’s the only explanation that makes sense.
I was the test group for the Shake Weight.
B. Frank
@26
Our different perspectives likely originate from the few tiny differences between incentive systems in private businesses and governmental bureaucracies. Based on your indication that watching porn in a specially designated setting is not out of the question where you work, I’m gonna crawl way way out on the limb and guess that you might employed by the federal government and are likely based out of D.C.? Top-level state official at a minimum? Please confirm.
(nice setup!)
@ 25 No, no the joke briefer is to determine if in fact #5 was making a joke about traders or was indeed serious.
Laughing at how hard people are biting on post 5
Trollface.jpg
OptionTrader – shouldn’t you be OptionsTrader? Do you trade one option? Do you have a pair of testicle? Does an army of ant scare you? Do you get drunk off twelve Budweiser? Do you enjoy killing a family of deer (…)? Change your username STRUMPET or more importantly stop being so GOD DAMN CYNICAL.
@HH wrong limb, wrong tree. But you probably don’t take such risks professionally, I hope. Your dichotomy is false also. It’s not a matter of incentive. It’s a question of character. The “professional” at the SEC (for example) is due a private, walled, and ceilinged office, with a door even, in which to browse porn because it’s a position of trust and responsibility. The trader is in a fishbowl for the same reasons. Trust and responsibility. Call the fire department (fuck, there’s the gov’t again). They may have a ladder tall enough to help you down.
Respectfully,
- 26
yes, I do.
Oh my! Your Joke Briefer is here to save the day with quick analysis of the comments made by @5. I have reviewed @5′s comment and feel sure that the comment was obviously made in jest and derives its humor from the structure of scientific snickering within the so-called “joke sphere”. Let me explain: @5′s comment was more of a humorous “prank” than “joke” but equally as funny.
@5 is simply using the time tested means of eliciting a chortle by using a well known, obvious situation (a CNBC view of a large trading room) with an application of the ridiculous (a holding pen for porn watchers).
In its purest sense, humor is a chemical brain reaction under just such conditions. For example, if the desk head of crude oil trading asks a quant to pull the finger of the desk head, the quant is not expecting a “fart” or “trouser cough” or “barking spider” or “Fruit of the Loom cooked cabbage” to happen upon pulling said digit. Thus the desk head and perhaps the quant quickly enjoy the humorous effect that our brains experience and have a good guffaw from the surprise conclusion to a simple observed feat.
In @5′s case, he/ she applied the same rule to the “state of the art” trading rooms seen frequently on CNBC as talking heads pontificate on their opinion of the market with hundreds of MBAs working away in the open aired room in the background.
@5 simply weaved a version of the SEC tranny porn watcher’s situation into a well known and commonly observed situation–the massive trading room–and concocted the story that all porn watchers “on company time” who are caught are put into a common room for observation after the first offense. Then @5 implied that the public who see such rooms on FBN or CNBC may have the wrong impression of why they are there –for business purposes–as opposed to the alleged true reason: porn watchers being monitored so as not to do it again.
@5′s ruse worked well and elicited numerous complaints and personal attacks which are often a sign of a quality verbal “prank” or joke. Several of the Dealbreaker cognocenti picked up on the prank/joke immediately to their credit.
What @5 does not know or did not know prior to the joke/prank was the humorous reaction ( secondary humor explosions) based upon the turgidity of the immediate responders who probably work in such large trading rooms. For that, @5 deserves a small oak leaf cluster on his award winning joke/prank.
In summary: Good construction of the joke/prank using well known scenarios combined with current event outrage neatly folded back into a visual joke/prank played upon rookie trade room personnel who reacted with violent disgust not knowing they doubled the power of the joke/prank in so doing.
A nice effort and entertaining to say the least.
Sincerely,
~The Joke Briefer
@35/The Joke Briefer– Actually, I can only speak for my row here but I know for a fact that we were all put there due to previous pornography infractions.
OMG! Todd look at this chick with a dick. I like big dicks and I can not lie You other brothers can’t deny….Oh! shit this is sooo funny….
We were first office to get into tranny porn. We were the first to identify, investigate and send a Wells Notice to Tranny porn. We deposed trannies, dressed them down(and up for that matter), undressed them again-just to make sure, and we got to the bottom(or top) as the case may be of every instance of tranny porn in the Bay Area.
-Lyndsay Whitecake, partner in charge, Dewey, Havem, Hangin, Orwatt,LLC (formerly SEC Enforcement Division, SF)
feel sick to the stomach regards this, and have no wish to see the face of or know the name of the hunchbacked backoffice wanker that views this crap.
the only respite is that he should be struggling on unemployment insurance right about now.
Rumor Schapiro was posting on milf.com
So – Tranny Porn bad
S&M Porn good ?
Forget the porn every trader I ever knew would fuck his mother for an 1/8th.
I wonder if tht image is what Gundlach will look like in 30 years?
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