11:00 A financial services hack is about to attempt 50 munchkins in 40 minutes. This strikes me as a bit weak but then again, so many of you have failed at even weaker challenges (20 vending machine items over the course of 8 hours? 5 bags of chips in 100 minutes) that we’ll take it. Mixed box– chocolate glazed, regular glazed, sugar coated, jelly filled. He’s 24, 5 ’11 and 175 lbs. Contender is a water polo player in his free time and “there is talk of some Speedo-wearing consequence if he fails.”
11:10: 15 munchkins down, 35 to go. “Faster-than expected start.”
11:12: I’ve been asked to add that “he is a premature balder, and also considers himself a Professional ‘Bro’.”
11:24: 34 down, 16 to go. “He is slowing down though and is no longer talking smack. I told him he should be eating the heavier munchkins first, he responded with ‘Shut the hell up.’ Also, forgot to mention he had a Bacon Egg and Cheese a few mins before starting.”
11:27: 37 down, 13 to go.
11:32: “This tastes like cardboard” he says. 43 down, 7 to go. Onlooker: “His face is starting to turn red and looks like he is in agony. He just left to get a glass of water. He is now telling people not to look at him.”
11:35: 45 down, 5 to go. “He is completely silent. He is trying to drink water, looks like this is going to be a close/weak finish with the pace he is going at. Just looked into the box, only jelly munchkins left. He’s too sick to be pissed.”
11:39: “He hasn’t eaten a single munchkin in the last two minutes. This embarrassing.”
11:40: FAIL. “He called it quits with four munchkins remaining. After a few gags, he headed immediately for the bathroom.”
Postmortem: I don’t want to be too hard on the guy but I can’t hold back here– this was a cake walk of a challenge that resulted in an abysmal fail. I’m sickened by the display today and the only thing that can possibly pull me out of this emotional hole is if someone successfully completes a Double Down this afternoon. That’s it.
This is fucking bullshit challenge
Anyone can do this.
Record is 72 in 10 minutes. This is a joke.
@1 okay, hoss, to do today, 12 o’clock.
note: He had a bacon egg and cheese about 30 min before the start.
Bring back the Double Down challenge.
@5 It didn’t go anywhere, there’s just no one doing it right this second. Want to change that?
This is my usual breakfast. He must be some sell side faggiola.
50 in 40? That’s bush. Bush League.
That box looks like its filled with pre & post loveing testicles. Any gay guy could BLOW through that easily.
50 munchinks? WTF is this, the IT analyst hazing?
Munchkins dipped in cocaine is a helluva drug
Pussy
Bess, why the Speedo?
Boston is so passé.
-Guy Who Hates Anything from Boston
If this kid sucked 50 ball sacks in 40 minutes… then I would be impressed… pussy
10 FTW
Bacon Egg and Cheese is NOT KOSHER! This guy will lose because god hates him and he is not one of the chosen people.
i bet this kid takes down fat chicks and brags about it to his friends!!
“11:12: I’m been asked to add ”
“been asked”?
Total IT giveaway with the lack of command of basic English skills.
your going to regret leaving the jelly filled ones for last
thats real weak, theres nothing spicy and they are all different, if he ate 50 of one kind in 30 that would be interesting
former fat kid
@13 – this is Bess’ big moment to see a little fella;
@14 – Solidarity with you my brother. In fact we hate it more than you do.
He gets water?!?
BroFail
im not hiring fat blonde chicks
- HR guru from Guerreiro Wealth
kouwe hazing?
Boston is a fucking backwater. I hope this guy pukes all over Youks.
“this is embarrassing” indeed.
@13 “Bess, why the Speedo?”
Do I work there? Do I know these people? Did I make the terms of this challenge? The hint that I was quoting what was being said in their office was when I put the words “there is talk of some Speedo-wearing consequence if he fails” in, wait for it, quotes.
WTF? My 10 year old can polish away the 50. Sheesh….totally lame!
@27, in fact F-Youks and F that no-talent Fat Papi. I’m surprised there are any munchkins left after Big Fat Papi was in town anyway.
well passed or failed, what the fuck is with the 6minute delay, this is time sensitive, unlike limit orders
Is he wearing a tshirt in that picture? JanitorFail.
@33 he obviously took off his button down (notice he’s wearing dress pants), and that is an undershirt. idiot.
Is that a Schweser book? This kid makes me sick.
- Jack Welch School of Business alum.
Bessy, why so serious?
@14 and @ 22.. 2004 ALCS – nuf said…
dd donut eating challenge…fail
balding head…fail
CFA…fail
I’m sorry but this has to be said. This guy is clearly a homosexual, no vagina loving man would fail at this. Ethopians eat more food than that on a daily basis.
I can eat fifty eggs in an hour.
-Luke
@37 – How did you do last year?
The Fabulous Fab can’t even win a doughnut hole eating contest? Oh, how the mighty have fallen. How long until he’s on Oprah?
@37 – F YOU. Go back to your limo driver job for the Kennedys
@19 So are you claiming that Bess is in IT because she said “I’ve been asked”? Hate to break it to you buddy, that is correct English.
- Yes, I’m in IT. No, I’m not bitter about it. Okay, maybe a little.
@37 More to the point, what about this year? 3rd, if you are lucky?
just give Big Sloppy some more roids and theyre right back in it
Dunkin Donuts>CFA
Lame. Always eat the jelly donuts first.
Dick slapping, that’s my game.
I just did some blow off my desk, pounded a redbull, and ate a yogurt parfe. Traders Breakfast. All else are for pussies.
Did this happen in Boston? Where does it say that?
Either way this guy is weak and should be deballed.
Awful. What happened to this site?
not too big to fail
@52 what the fuck are you talking about? have you ever actually been to this site? if you had you’d know that its been covering food eating challenges for the last three years, and this is business as usual. kill yourself.
These challenges are hilarious.
shit, i just agreed to eat 50000 in 40 minutes. is it too late to cancel?
-citi trader
@56 Bravo!
Why didn’t this kid smoke a bowl beforehand?
Props to @56….well played layering of current events into the thread.
~The Joke Briefer
@56 fuck you. too soon.
-fatty C trader
@54 I was partaking in shit like “food eating challenges” on trading desks before there was an internet, you fucking pussy. So shove your three years of reading Dealbreaker up your mother’s ass.
As I was saying, I remember enjoying this site from time to time. Now it’s just stupid.
@61 your opinion might have more merit if you weren’t still here, reading and commenting (earlier this morning, and then now again). if it sucks so much why do you keep coming back?
@29 PMS Much???
@61, wow, you sound like a tough guy.
“Your Mothers ass”. Very clever and well crafted. You’ve got a real gift!
What did you do at the trading desk? You sound like the ex-jock/moron type guy kept around because his brother in-law was big at the firm.
yeah, a muchkin donut has 60 calories, so he is eating a total of 3000 calories, which isn’t that much.
Awesome the way @62 gave @62 hell. Nice job. Now go punch yourself in the clown.
I disagree. I eat the box of jellies last.
@56 If your finger is that fat, probs you can do it.
I tried a double down today. A lot of food, but not tasty at all. They need to can that shit in the middle and stick to chicken. No wonder no one wants the challenge; unlike dd, it’s nasty to eat.
I didn’t know fifty donut holes WAS a challenge. I thought it was Friday.
wait, it’s friday?
@29 you wouldnt mention the speedo unless you kinda thought was shexxy…..
These challenges are always “abysmal failures” because for some reason these guys consistently overestimate human stomach capacity by 50% (go back and look at every single challenge ever) and do not understand basic laws of space and physics. Are they all former Lehman quants?
Look like collection of scrotums of different races.
L O S E R !!!!!!!
L O S E R !!!!!!!
L O S E R !!!!!!!
L O S E R !!!!!!!