• 07 May 2010 at 11:00 AM

Dunkin Donuts Food Eating Challenge Underway

By

11:00 A financial services hack is about to attempt 50 munchkins in 40 minutes. This strikes me as a bit weak but then again, so many of you have failed at even weaker challenges (20 vending machine items over the course of 8 hours? 5 bags of chips in 100 minutes) that we’ll take it. Mixed box– chocolate glazed, regular glazed, sugar coated, jelly filled. He’s 24, 5 ’11 and 175 lbs. Contender is a water polo player in his free time and “there is talk of some Speedo-wearing consequence if he fails.”

11:10: 15 munchkins down, 35 to go. “Faster-than expected start.”

11:12: I’ve been asked to add that “he is a premature balder, and also considers himself a Professional ‘Bro’.”

11:24: 34 down, 16 to go. “He is slowing down though and is no longer talking smack. I told him he should be eating the heavier munchkins first, he responded with ‘Shut the hell up.’ Also, forgot to mention he had a Bacon Egg and Cheese a few mins before starting.”

11:27: 37 down, 13 to go.

11:32: “This tastes like cardboard” he says. 43 down, 7 to go. Onlooker: “His face is starting to turn red and looks like he is in agony. He just left to get a glass of water. He is now telling people not to look at him.”

11:35: 45 down, 5 to go. “He is completely silent. He is trying to drink water, looks like this is going to be a close/weak finish with the pace he is going at. Just looked into the box, only jelly munchkins left. He’s too sick to be pissed.”

11:39: “He hasn’t eaten a single munchkin in the last two minutes. This embarrassing.”

11:40: FAIL. “He called it quits with four munchkins remaining. After a few gags, he headed immediately for the bathroom.”

Postmortem: I don’t want to be too hard on the guy but I can’t hold back here– this was a cake walk of a challenge that resulted in an abysmal fail. I’m sickened by the display today and the only thing that can possibly pull me out of this emotional hole is if someone successfully completes a Double Down this afternoon. That’s it.

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Comments (150)

Older Comments
  1. 1
    Posted by Anonymous | May 7, 2010 at 11:17 AM

    This is fucking bullshit challenge

    Anyone can do this.

  2. 2
    Posted by Anonymous | May 7, 2010 at 11:18 AM

    Record is 72 in 10 minutes. This is a joke.

  3. 3
    Posted by guest | May 7, 2010 at 11:19 AM

    @1 okay, hoss, to do today, 12 o’clock.

  4. 4
    Posted by Anonymous | May 7, 2010 at 11:22 AM

    note: He had a bacon egg and cheese about 30 min before the start.

  5. 5
    Posted by PEMBA | May 7, 2010 at 11:22 AM

    Bring back the Double Down challenge.

  6. 6
    Posted by Bess Levin | May 7, 2010 at 11:24 AM

    @5 It didn’t go anywhere, there’s just no one doing it right this second. Want to change that?

  7. 7
    Posted by Anonymous | May 7, 2010 at 11:24 AM

    This is my usual breakfast. He must be some sell side faggiola.

  8. 8
    Posted by C | May 7, 2010 at 11:26 AM

    50 in 40? That’s bush. Bush League.

  9. 9
    Posted by Gay Guy | May 7, 2010 at 11:27 AM

    That box looks like its filled with pre & post loveing testicles. Any gay guy could BLOW through that easily.

  10. 10
    Posted by Anonymous | May 7, 2010 at 11:28 AM

    50 munchinks? WTF is this, the IT analyst hazing?

  11. 11
    Posted by Anonymous | May 7, 2010 at 11:29 AM

    Munchkins dipped in cocaine is a helluva drug

  12. 12
    Posted by Anonymous | May 7, 2010 at 11:31 AM

    Pussy

  13. 13
    Posted by what the? | May 7, 2010 at 11:31 AM

    Bess, why the Speedo?

  14. 14
    Posted by Fuck Boston | May 7, 2010 at 11:32 AM

    Boston is so passé.

    -Guy Who Hates Anything from Boston

  15. 15
    Posted by Hov | May 7, 2010 at 11:33 AM

    If this kid sucked 50 ball sacks in 40 minutes… then I would be impressed… pussy

  16. 16
    Posted by Anonymous | May 7, 2010 at 11:34 AM

    10 FTW

  17. 17
    Posted by Anonymous | May 7, 2010 at 11:34 AM

    Bacon Egg and Cheese is NOT KOSHER! This guy will lose because god hates him and he is not one of the chosen people.

  18. 18
    Posted by Oh big boy | May 7, 2010 at 11:35 AM

    i bet this kid takes down fat chicks and brags about it to his friends!!

  19. 19
    Posted by Anonymous | May 7, 2010 at 11:35 AM

    “11:12: I’m been asked to add ”

    “been asked”?

    Total IT giveaway with the lack of command of basic English skills.

  20. 20
    Posted by Hov | May 7, 2010 at 11:35 AM

    your going to regret leaving the jelly filled ones for last

  21. 21
    Posted by Anonymous | May 7, 2010 at 11:36 AM

    thats real weak, theres nothing spicy and they are all different, if he ate 50 of one kind in 30 that would be interesting

    former fat kid

  22. 22
    Posted by KLAATU | May 7, 2010 at 11:36 AM

    @13 – this is Bess’ big moment to see a little fella;
    @14 – Solidarity with you my brother. In fact we hate it more than you do.

  23. 23
    Posted by Anonymous | May 7, 2010 at 11:37 AM

    He gets water?!?

  24. 24
    Posted by Anonymous | May 7, 2010 at 11:41 AM

    BroFail

  25. 25
    Posted by Anonymous | May 7, 2010 at 11:43 AM

    im not hiring fat blonde chicks

    - HR guru from Guerreiro Wealth

  26. 26
    Posted by Anonymous | May 7, 2010 at 11:44 AM

    kouwe hazing?

  27. 27
    Posted by Anonymous | May 7, 2010 at 11:45 AM

    Boston is a fucking backwater. I hope this guy pukes all over Youks.

  28. 28
    Posted by guest | May 7, 2010 at 11:47 AM

    “this is embarrassing” indeed.

  29. 29
    Posted by Bess Levin | May 7, 2010 at 11:48 AM

    @13 “Bess, why the Speedo?”

    Do I work there? Do I know these people? Did I make the terms of this challenge? The hint that I was quoting what was being said in their office was when I put the words “there is talk of some Speedo-wearing consequence if he fails” in, wait for it, quotes.

  30. 30
    Posted by guest | May 7, 2010 at 11:48 AM

    WTF? My 10 year old can polish away the 50. Sheesh….totally lame!

  31. 31
    Posted by KLAATU | May 7, 2010 at 11:49 AM

    @27, in fact F-Youks and F that no-talent Fat Papi. I’m surprised there are any munchkins left after Big Fat Papi was in town anyway.

  32. 32
    Posted by Anonymous | May 7, 2010 at 11:49 AM

    well passed or failed, what the fuck is with the 6minute delay, this is time sensitive, unlike limit orders

  33. 33
    Posted by a guy that knows | May 7, 2010 at 11:50 AM

    Is he wearing a tshirt in that picture? JanitorFail.

  34. 34
    Posted by guest | May 7, 2010 at 11:54 AM

    @33 he obviously took off his button down (notice he’s wearing dress pants), and that is an undershirt. idiot.

  35. 35
    Posted by Anonymous | May 7, 2010 at 11:55 AM

    Is that a Schweser book? This kid makes me sick.

    - Jack Welch School of Business alum.

  36. 36
    Posted by Anonymous | May 7, 2010 at 11:59 AM

    Bessy, why so serious?

  37. 37
    Posted by Guest | May 7, 2010 at 11:59 AM

    @14 and @ 22.. 2004 ALCS – nuf said…

  38. 38
    Posted by Anonymous | May 7, 2010 at 12:00 PM

    dd donut eating challenge…fail
    balding head…fail
    CFA…fail

  39. 39
    Posted by Anonymous | May 7, 2010 at 12:03 PM

    I’m sorry but this has to be said. This guy is clearly a homosexual, no vagina loving man would fail at this. Ethopians eat more food than that on a daily basis.

  40. 40
    Posted by Anonymous | May 7, 2010 at 12:05 PM

    I can eat fifty eggs in an hour.

    -Luke

  41. 41
    Posted by Anonymous | May 7, 2010 at 12:06 PM

    @37 – How did you do last year?

  42. 42
    Posted by BillyG | May 7, 2010 at 12:07 PM

    The Fabulous Fab can’t even win a doughnut hole eating contest? Oh, how the mighty have fallen. How long until he’s on Oprah?

  43. 43
    Posted by Billy Buckner | May 7, 2010 at 12:08 PM

    @37 – F YOU. Go back to your limo driver job for the Kennedys

  44. 44
    Posted by Anonymous | May 7, 2010 at 12:09 PM

    @19 So are you claiming that Bess is in IT because she said “I’ve been asked”? Hate to break it to you buddy, that is correct English.
    - Yes, I’m in IT. No, I’m not bitter about it. Okay, maybe a little.

  45. 45
    Posted by Anonymous | May 7, 2010 at 12:10 PM

    @37 More to the point, what about this year? 3rd, if you are lucky?

  46. 46
    Posted by Anonymous | May 7, 2010 at 12:15 PM

    just give Big Sloppy some more roids and theyre right back in it

  47. 47
    Posted by Anonymous | May 7, 2010 at 12:20 PM

    Dunkin Donuts>CFA

  48. 48
    Posted by Anonymous | May 7, 2010 at 12:23 PM

    Lame. Always eat the jelly donuts first.

  49. 49
    Posted by Anonymous | May 7, 2010 at 12:28 PM

    Dick slapping, that’s my game.

  50. 50
    Posted by OptionTrader | May 7, 2010 at 12:31 PM

    I just did some blow off my desk, pounded a redbull, and ate a yogurt parfe. Traders Breakfast. All else are for pussies.

  51. 51
    Posted by Anonymous | May 7, 2010 at 12:33 PM

    Did this happen in Boston? Where does it say that?

    Either way this guy is weak and should be deballed.

  52. 52
    Posted by tc | May 7, 2010 at 12:35 PM

    Awful. What happened to this site?

  53. 53
    Posted by Anonymous | May 7, 2010 at 12:39 PM

    not too big to fail

  54. 54
    Posted by guest | May 7, 2010 at 12:40 PM

    @52 what the fuck are you talking about? have you ever actually been to this site? if you had you’d know that its been covering food eating challenges for the last three years, and this is business as usual. kill yourself.

  55. 55
    Posted by Anonymous | May 7, 2010 at 12:42 PM

    These challenges are hilarious.

  56. 56
    Posted by Anonymous | May 7, 2010 at 12:47 PM

    shit, i just agreed to eat 50000 in 40 minutes. is it too late to cancel?

    -citi trader

  57. 57
    Posted by Anonymous | May 7, 2010 at 12:54 PM

    @56 Bravo!

  58. 58
    Posted by Richie Bottles | May 7, 2010 at 1:25 PM

    Why didn’t this kid smoke a bowl beforehand?

  59. 59
    Posted by Anonymous | May 7, 2010 at 1:35 PM

    Props to @56….well played layering of current events into the thread.

    ~The Joke Briefer

  60. 60
    Posted by guest | May 7, 2010 at 1:40 PM

    @56 fuck you. too soon.

    -fatty C trader

  61. 61
    Posted by tc | May 7, 2010 at 1:51 PM

    @54 I was partaking in shit like “food eating challenges” on trading desks before there was an internet, you fucking pussy. So shove your three years of reading Dealbreaker up your mother’s ass.

    As I was saying, I remember enjoying this site from time to time. Now it’s just stupid.

  62. 62
    Posted by guest | May 7, 2010 at 1:54 PM

    @61 your opinion might have more merit if you weren’t still here, reading and commenting (earlier this morning, and then now again). if it sucks so much why do you keep coming back?

  63. 63
    Posted by guest | May 7, 2010 at 2:05 PM

    @29 PMS Much???

  64. 64
    Posted by Pinhead alert | May 7, 2010 at 2:05 PM

    @61, wow, you sound like a tough guy.

    “Your Mothers ass”. Very clever and well crafted. You’ve got a real gift!

    What did you do at the trading desk? You sound like the ex-jock/moron type guy kept around because his brother in-law was big at the firm.

  65. 65
    Posted by Anonymous | May 7, 2010 at 2:10 PM

    yeah, a muchkin donut has 60 calories, so he is eating a total of 3000 calories, which isn’t that much.

  66. 66
    Posted by Anonymous | May 7, 2010 at 3:19 PM

    Awesome the way @62 gave @62 hell. Nice job. Now go punch yourself in the clown.

  67. 67
    Posted by Raj | May 7, 2010 at 3:29 PM

    I disagree. I eat the box of jellies last.

  68. 68
    Posted by Anonymous | May 7, 2010 at 4:17 PM

    @56 If your finger is that fat, probs you can do it.

  69. 69
    Posted by TGFBV | May 7, 2010 at 4:48 PM

    I tried a double down today. A lot of food, but not tasty at all. They need to can that shit in the middle and stick to chicken. No wonder no one wants the challenge; unlike dd, it’s nasty to eat.

    I didn’t know fifty donut holes WAS a challenge. I thought it was Friday.

  70. 70
    Posted by TGIM | May 7, 2010 at 4:59 PM

    wait, it’s friday?

  71. 71
    Posted by what the? | May 7, 2010 at 8:15 PM

    @29 you wouldnt mention the speedo unless you kinda thought was shexxy…..

  72. 72
    Posted by Anonymous | May 8, 2010 at 7:16 PM

    These challenges are always “abysmal failures” because for some reason these guys consistently overestimate human stomach capacity by 50% (go back and look at every single challenge ever) and do not understand basic laws of space and physics. Are they all former Lehman quants?

  73. 73
    Posted by AirHead | May 9, 2010 at 12:50 AM

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